Oscar

“So you’re gonna dump responsibility onto someone else now?” “Hold on a sec. Weren’t you just giving me shit for not asking for help? Kinda fucked up to flip like that,” Oscar said. “You keep riding the fence! You can’t commit one way or another. You roll solo until it’s too hard. You run with a pack until they do something you don’t like. You can’t decide. What did the Major say? ‘Whatever you do, don’t half-ass it?’” “What’s your point?” “Commit. You just spent all of this time telling me how you were gonna win and keep winning. No second thoughts. No hesitation. No conti

“That was different. We never killed anyone.” “We got damn close though. We were ready to pull that trigger,” Oscar retorted. “So what? You’re trying to be the Major now?” “That’s always been the point. ‘Redeem the redeemable,’ right?” “And send the rest to Hell,” his Twin finished. “But are you the one who gets to decide whether he can be redeemed? After everything he did, someone should hold him accountable.” “And I am. We can either lock him up in a prison somewhere or make him put that mind of his to work getting us out of here. Maybe he’ll learn how to feel someth

“Because Tyson had it so hard, right? How many people did he kill that had hard lives too? Jason? What about the men he led to the slaughter? That you slaughtered? You act like he was a victim here. He wasn’t. He knew what he was doing.” Oscar took a deep breath. His fists were clenched, his jaw was set. The intake of air was cool. As his lungs filled, his blood ceased boiling. He exhaled, hot and long, and let the anger ebb away. His twin had succeeded in landing a telling blow for the first time since hallucination started. And it was a deep one. “How many people did I rob? How man

“But you had to fuck it up. You had to risk it and make it harder on yourself. You couldn’t take the easy win. The one that minimized the risk to the children the most. You really think if you put out that call-to-arms that at least half of the Frontlines wouldn’t have showed up? A lot of them don’t know you, but they know of you. Your reputation precedes you and not the one where you want to pretend to be this hard mother fucker who kicks ass and chews bubblegum.” “You’re right. But it was my mess.” “Fuck off with that, man. You can lie to everyone else, but you can’t lie to yoursel

“This ain’t exactly the healthiest way to reconcile things, is it?” “Oh, no. Not at all. But you don’t make the healthy choices do you?” Oscar’s twin took control over the scene again. Before them, as if projected on a screen, was Oscar within the belly of a frozen fortress. He was beat up pretty badly. A constant stream of Tyson’s best Player Killers had taken their toll. It had quickly devolved into a war of attrition. He was given no quarter. No time to let his health regenerate. His energy was depleting just as quickly. Every head he claimed took just a bit more out of him. And t

“I’m you,” the Other said as a shit-eating grin rose to his face. “Remember?” “Oh fuck you, dude,” Oscar spat back in response. “What the fuck does a man have to do around here to get respect from his own schizophrenic doppelganger.” “Am I the schizophrenic one or are you?” Oscar paused. He shoved his hands into his pockets, leaning back as he looked up at the sky of Floor 4. “Can’t say as this all warrants a clinical diagnosis. But it’s really fucking weird. Feels like a fever dream or something.” “Well you are asleep,” the Other said. “Farming Bears is really fucking bor

“Anyway,” Oscar continued. “Lessa was one of the friends I worried the most about. She was - and still is - a good person. We wound up getting separated during the rescue attempt. Lessa took the kids and made for the Safe Zone. Freyd and I tried to take point together but got forced apart by the traps in Tyson’s hideout. I don’t know how it went down for either of them, but none of us walked out of there with clean hands. And it was a bittersweet thing. The kids were safe and any doubts on what Lessa would do when her back was against the wall were dispelled. But I never wanted it to come to

“Why is that?” Oscar let out a sigh. “Well, the entire fuckin’ point of killing all those people was to keep my friends from having to do it. Because let’s be real, if Tyson had managed to get me, they’d have had to deal with that situation one way or another, eventually. A whole-ass Guild of Player Killers without a target? Yeah, fuck that. It wouldn’t have taken much for Tyson to lose control of ‘em either.” “His focus was on you.” “Right, and if he lost his focus, he’d lose his position. Some other, stronger, Player would have snapped the Guild up right from under him and the

“What I really didn’t expect was Lessa’s response, honestly. Freyd? He’s been a ride-or-die for a minute. Love that dude. Hell, pretty sure if I called up Firm Anima as a guild, they’d have come in hot too. Never woulda been able to pay that debt back to Simmone though. Don’t wanna owe that woman money.” Oscar gave off a laugh in an attempt to play it off. But in a game filled with death and Player-Killers, the one thing that gave Oscar even the slightest amount of trepidation anymore was having Simmone own one of his debts. “Back on track,” Oscar said quickly after a moment. “I really ex

"So do that at every available opportunity, got it," Oscar teased. He had already shown remarkable restraint by not pointing out her rather embarrassing squeak. No one could fault him for going a different, less insulting direction with his japes. His expression of smiles and laugher turned on a dime, his demeanor shifting to match the gravity of the situation. "Are you?" It was a fair response. Oscar had never seen any "slain by Lilik" on his many visits to the Monument. He'd read that thing dozens or hundreds of times over. He doubted he would have missed the name. "It doesn't matter,"

“Perhaps one of the largest mistakes was not making sure everyone I knew was aware of the gravity of the situation,” Oscar said. “I had made the assumption that Bahr would have told Lessa what happened. You know, just the smallest of explanations as to why my name was suddenly carved into the Monument as a cause of death. But, he didn’t. So we lost a little time with me explaining things to her.” “But you didn’t expect her response.” Oscar paused for a moment, nodding sagely as he watched another Echo of him hold a blade to Lessa’s neck. Thankfully, he’d also sent a message out with

Oscar needed help. That much was certain. But before he could attempt to call in the cavalry, he was met with a blast from the past. The golden-haired Guardian of Aincrad. “Lessa,” the Other finally said. “Indeed. She wasn’t happy to see me,” Oscar responded. Again, he gave a light chuckle as if the entire situation was amusing to him. “Can’t say I blame her. Bahr and I had a pretty legendary falling-out.” “How do you feel about that? Was it worth it?” Oscar extended his index finger and wagged it while clicking his tongue. “We’ll get to that. Let’s just watch the show.”

Oscar still had no idea how expansive the boy’s organization was. He’d must have carved through dozens of his heavies before there was finally a lull in the attacks. For an entire week, Oscar was left to his own devices. The calm before the storm, as it turned out. His preparations paid off when he discovered that the Orphanage in the Town of Beginnings had been ransacked. It was a bold move. And to this day, Oscar wasn’t sure how Tyson had managed to pull it off. Oscar had to assume that, somehow, there had been some hostage situation in play. The kids and the caretakers were perfectly safe i

The scene shifted once more. Oscar had reached a determination. He and his twin returned to hovering in midair. The scenes passed beneath them quickly. Every kill Oscar made. Every attempt on his life was returned to sender. Tyson had wanted him in exile, wanted him to be isolated and exposed. Wanted Oscar to live in fear of what he was going to do next. But there comes a point where a man is tired of running. It would have been a good plan to weaken Oscar. If, of course, the kid had a made a move before he reached the end of his rope. But he waited too long. He let the despair rebound. L

Oscar had been on the back foot for long enough. It was time to reset. Refocus. Remember who he was. Or, more specifically, remember just who it was Tyson was fucking with. The boy had always known him to be a good man blessed with infinite patience and restraint. And that was true, to an extent. But he, too, had his demons. Demons that he could now safely allow to come out and play. Tyson had assumed Oscar to be a good man. In reality, Oscar was a barely-contained rage monster that kept it all underwraps simply because of the lessons learned in his formative years. Simply because violence was

Of course it was. The sorrow evaporated from the echo’s eyes as his fingers coiled around the Hoya. He could rebuild. He could make amends. And most importantly, he could win. He would win. There was simply no other option. Oscar would allow for no other alternative. “It’s really quite simple,” Oscar explained to his twin. “If our own self-loathing couldn’t put us down, there really isn’t anyone or anything else that can. We’re better than that. He,” Oscar trailed off, pointing at the echo. “Is better than that. Fucked up as we were back then. Beaten down and bloodied with our b

Oscar wasn’t ashamed to admit that this was his lowest point. The fight had all but evaporated from him. He’d lost his way, lost his purpose. Everything he’d fought so hard for. He stepped into a Raid and failed. He tried to outmaneuver Tyson and failed. He’d abandoned his friends, his Guild, and even his very purpose. It would have been so easy to put an end to it all. To be done with the game and the fight. And Oscar wouldn’t lie and say that he wasn’t tempted. He’d fought so hard and for what? A self-imposed exile and the loss of everything and everyone he valued? Why bother anymore? The Ot

“Cordelia,” the Echo said. “Cordelia,” Oscar agreed. “What happened?” “We happened,” Oscar said with a shrug. “Don’t really know where she is now. Know she’s not dead, if that helps at all. But she had the good goddamn sense to get the fuck away from us.” It was true. One day, she was just gone. She’d taken everything but left behind the Hoya. Oscar got the memo. He didn’t try to find her. He didn’t try to fight for her. She hadn’t wanted him to, clearly. It wasn’t as if he was in any position to do so anyway. An entire PK Guild breathing down his neck and all. “Did we

“Might have been intimidating if you showed up to harass that version of us,” Oscar said with a chipper tone. “Hell, might have even had me take a long walk off a short cliff and just be done with it all.” The echo opened the door he was stood in front of and disappeared inside. Oscar and the Other followed suit. He had an entire manor, but this room had been where he had spent the majority of his time. It was stylized as a small apartment. A small kitchenette, clean and sterile as Oscar left it. A bed with disheveled blankets. It had been slept in at some point, but had never been remade

“I was fortunate enough for my life to freeze when I stepped away from it,” Oscar said. “Doesn’t happen in the real world. But that’s not to say everything was as it was.” Where Leeroy & Jenkins dashed up the stairs, Oscar led his twin to bank a sharp left. As they did, they saw a third version of themselves. An echo of the past. Looking at the memory of himself, Oscar noticed how tired he looked. World-weary and under-rested. The solitude had taken its toll. The running and hiding had worked their devilish magic upon him, sapping him of all the things that made him, him. He looked, q

“I already dealt with this,” Oscar continued. He stepped forward, his fingers wrapping around the knob. There was a heavy click as he turned the handle, a loud creak as the door opened inward. Deep shadows filled the interior. Undaunted, Oscar stepped inside beckoning his twin to follow. As he crossed the threshold, the manor came alive. Lights in sconces along the wall burst to life one by one. A soft lilt of music could be heard on the air and the skittering of nails on the stone floor added to the melody. His hound came to life with the manor, dashing around Oscar and his twin in excit

“Surprised,” Oscar asked with a chuckle. “We’re in my mind. I’m taking the wheel for a bit. Come along.” Oscar strode through the gate, with The Other following close behind. As they approached the door, they were greeted by Oscar’s twin-headed Cerberus. His trusted familiar had been left behind too. Frozen just as the manor was, stuck in time, waiting for Oscar to cross the threshold once more. The beast sat back on his haunches, eyes fixed toward the gate. A fearsome sentinel guarding his Master’s sanctum. As Oscar approached the door, he paused for a moment to scratch his familiar behi

A long silence passed between Oscar and his hallucination. Down below, the view shifted. An abandoned manor among the crags stretched about below them. If this were the real world, perhaps the shrubs would have become overgrown. Perhaps nature would have begun to reclaim the marble tiles. Plants forcing their way through the cracks and crevices, widening them and cracking the opulent stone. It was a stark reminder that they were not in the real world; this was a game. A game with consequences no less dire, but a game nonetheless. Rather than being overgrown by flora, the manor stood resolute.

“Warlords always justify employing their child soldiers.” “Child soldiers? You dumb?” “You could have left. You could have disappeared. You could have done all you could to remove the target from them.” “Did you forget? I did. I went to ground right after I did all of this. I so badly hoped that they would never need to use the skills they learned. Tyson came after them anyway. Or did you forget that incident was what brought me back from my little sabbatical.” The Other fell silent. Oscar realized that it was simply echoing the same thoughts that he’d had about the situati

“You put children at risk to fight in your war,” The Other said. Oscar could only laugh, then. It was a ludicrous observation. A contortion of reality meant to pluck at his guilt once more. “Oh don’t give me that,” Oscar said with a chuckle. “That’s so weak. You know exactly what I did and why I did it. Those field trips saved lives.” It hadn’t taken long, really. Oscar guiding the children at the orphanage three-by-three through the Tutorial. Grinding mobs on Floor One until they had the levels necessary to invest heavily into stealth and first aid. Employing Crafters on the low to