Acanthus

The screams pierced her eardrums, slowly morphing into vicious, persistent laughter. From the shadows of the forest, dark figures formed and swam around her. Each of them formed red, weeping eyes, and blades made of crystal and fire. As they stepped into the dim light, Acanthus barely made out their humanoid shapes. STILL SHE STANDS, STILL SHE FIGHTS. A WASTE OF EFFORT. Acanthus wasted no time talking, choosing to lunge at the closest shadow. It melted out of range, reforming a few meters away. ALL TALK, AND NO ACTION. SHE PROMISED TO BE DIFFERENT. SHE PROMISED TO DISCARD HER KINDNES

The forest immediately quenched any hope of leaving without conflict. From the moment they entered, Acanthus had the acute sensation of walls closing in around them. Edict seemed particularly affected. He was pale and shaking. Acanthus put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Edict. Edict, listen to my voice. We’re going to be fine. Just focus on the sound of my voice.” He was a million miles away, talking to himself like he was having a bad dream. Hatred had not yet come for her, thankfully. She wasn’t sure what they would do if they were both unable to function. It wasn’t a luxury to linger

Edict started to talk again, but Acanthus quickly cut him off. “When did I ever say I wanted to be in a relationship? Why does everybody assume I’m ready—falling over myself, even—to be tied down to someone else?” Acanthus’ voice began to rise. Edict apologized. “I hit a nerve. We can talk about something else.” But Acanthus continued. “It’s exhausting. All of it is exhausting. The questions, the expectations, the constant performance—everything about relationships is exhausting, I’m tired of pretending that it isn’t. I’m tired of people telling me I’ll find the right person. I haven’t, and I

Acanthus filled the awkward silence picking at cracks in the stone floor. Surprisingly, she found small bits of material just within reach. Finally, she opened up. “... I left behind lots of people in the real world. But no lovers.” Edict chuckled, and Acanthus glared at him. “I’m sorry—lovers? Are you a period romance novel?” “I don’t have much experience with intimate relationships. Any, really.” Edict blinked. “That’s honestly surprising.” Acanthus prepared to shoot him another glare. “And why is it so surprising?” “Because you’re b—well, you just—man, I really have to be car

They did not. Edict handed Acanthus her tent and bedroll, and they set up a campsite together. They worked quickly, clearing a campsite and preparing a fire. Acanthus was even able to gather a few valuable materials while they worked. She was grateful for the fire as the sun went down. The wind cut through the labyrinth, leaving them shivering when they strayed from the flames. “Can I ask why the quest had you on edge? I know it wasn’t about the danger. You obliterated each of the minotaurs.” Acanthus continued staring into the fire. “It’s about the joke earlier, isn’t it? Me saying you h

Her searching skill hadn’t failed her. The minotaur stood within charging distance, weapon ready for Acanthus. With a battle cry, she bore down on the creature. Locking weapons, she was so close she could hear the thing’s breath. And smell it. She turned her head to avoid the worst of it. Thankfully, Larbrook was there. He broke the two up, pushing the minotaur back with an elaborate combo. Giving Acanthus some breathing room, she took a deep breath, preparing a stunning attack. Advancing on Larbrook and Govarron, she snuck around to the beast’s side, driving her blade into its flank. It

“Do you think Love will find us first? Or do you think we’ll get the jump on Love?” “Edict, stop acting strange. We’re here to kill the minotaur.” “*You’re* here to kill the minotaur. I’m here for support and color commentary.” Acanthus snuck carefully around a corner, on the lookout for the Minotaur. Picking at a nearby outcropping of shining rocks, she tried her best to ignore Edict. Not that he was bothering her; he just seemed to be entertaining himself. He didn’t need her. No one really did. “I think we’re on the right track. Hold the commentary.” Edict quieted down immedia

“No, it’s not. It’s a quest about killing two minotaurs with a beefy Swede for about 500 experience.” Edict laughed, but Acanthus did not. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Just take my word for it. The whole thing seems a bit allegorical.” Acanthus picked at some gathering nodes while she talked. “It’s a stupid allegory. Relationships aren’t mazes. Relationships are like big, looming monsters that threaten to consume you if you stray too far into their domain.” “Has anyone suggested therapy to you?” “No. How about you?” Edict nearly honked with laughter before clapping a hand o

“Say, I think there may be a chest nearby. Why don’t we take a moment to look for it?” “Anything to stop talking about myself.” Scouting out the immediate area, the two spread out in search of the chest. But neither of them had any luck. “It’s my fault,” Edict said. “I’m no good at searching for treasure chests either. I’ve usually got a scout to help me sniff them out.” “You’re just used to working in a team, is all.” A team that can actually do things. I’m just a warm body in a party member slot. “Why don’t we rest for a second?” The two paused for a quick break. Larbrook wand

“I’m just taking a stab in the dark here,” Edict began. “But the whole ‘I don’t like talking because people confuse me,’ and the whole ‘rules don’t make sense’... not to mention the nerve I struck joking about relationships. I’d say you struggle to navigate relationships.” “Barnum effect.” “...You lost me.” “The Barnum effect is a phenomena named after the American entertainer P.T. Barnum. The entertainer was famed for his use of broad statements that allowed people to infer their own personal meaning, lending to the appearance that Mr. Barnum was an accomplished mind-reader, wh

“What if we just followed the left wall? That’s a solution, isn’t it?” “Sometimes.” Edict pondered. “But not all labyrinths work that way. They can be built in a way that defeats that strategy.” He pointed her over to some vines hanging off the wall, and she spooled them up for later use. If nothing else, they could mark their path. After wandering a little bit further, Acanthus threw up her hands in defeat. “Then why is that even a thing in the first place. You’d think that the rules would be a little more consistent. ‘Always go left’ except when it doesn’t work. ‘Always retrace you

“It’s refreshingly honest for you to just admit we’re lost, rather than try to hide it.” Acanthus tugged at her own hair in exasperation. She didn’t have the best map direction, and her in-game map grayed out the portion of the floor with the labyrinth. At least there were plenty of crystals for her to gather. “Being dishonest is only going to get us lost even more. I’m surprised. This place didn’t seem so big from the outside.” “Things are often different from a first-person perspective.” Edict paused to look at his menu. “Good thing I didn’t have anywhere to be after this. We may be stu

In a single, powerful leap, the minotaur cleared the distance to Acanthus, sword crashing down on her. She barely raised her own sword in time; the weight of Kantaras forced her to the ground, grunting with exertion. Edict stood a few meters away, laughing. Acanthus yelled at him, “If you’re just going to stand there, the least you could do is get his attention.” Edict bowed theatrically. “I promised to provide moral support and conversation. So I’m here to say: you can do it!” Acanthus swore loudly as she redirected the minotaur’s blade to the side. Edict was nearly doubling over wi

Unfortunately, Acanthus had allowed herself to get lost in more than the moment. She despaired at the three paths she could take; part of her swore she had been here before. The sharp, crystal outcroppings seemed familiar, but they had not been depleted. But it’s possible they had refreshed since I was last here. She turned to Edict with a pleading look. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. She opened her mouth before remembering the pact, so instead shot him an obscene gesture. Edict snorted, and Acanthus gave him a dirty look. He simply mouthed “doesn’t count,” and then pointed to the left

“No talking until we find the Minotaur. You’re not allowed; I’m not allowed.” Acanthus was bemused at the suggestion. “So you’re confirming that I’m not fun to talk to, then.” Edict gently popped her forehead with a knuckle. “No, you idiot. I’m relieving you of the obligation to talk. Because if I promise you it’s ok to be quiet, you’ll get anxious anyways. If I promise not to talk, then you’ll worry you’ve upset me. So instead, we make a pact to just enjoy the quiet until the next part of the quest.” The idea strangely appealed to Acanthus. “So we can talk again once we meet the first mi

Things were quiet after that. Acanthus spent her time trying to navigate the labyrinth while stopping for foraging nodes. If Edict was frustrated at the slow pace, he didn’t show it. He seemed lost in thought as they wandered. Acanthus finally broke the silence. “I’m sorry that I’m not any fun to talk to.” Edict raised a single eyebrow. “What gave you that idea?” “You’re a talker. I don’t really know how to talk to people very well.” She busied herself gauging a fork in the maze. The air seemed fresher to the left. So she chose right. Edict caught up to her. “I think you’re doing gre

Acanthus stamped her foot. “You kept saying you would visit, and then when you did visit, you just said ‘nevermind’? What, did you just turn around and leave each time?” Edict suddenly became interested in some nearby vegetation. Acanthus stomped into his field of vision, ripping the flowers he stared at from the ground. Stuffing them into her pocket, she stared down Edict, doing her best to tie down his wandering eyes. “Did you even show up to the shop? Is this some pitiful attempt to pretend you came down to say hi so that I’ll be embarrassed that I didn’t recognize you?” He held out hi

Edict tried to explain himself as he wandered through the maze. All the while, Acanthus was busy picking out the best samples of what the maze had to offer. A few pieces of iron-hard bark would make for good blacksmith materials. She wondered if Ren would be willing to trade for them. Edict continued talking. “I guess I’m a crafter with commitment issues. I know I should just stick to one, but I really hate having to set aside that time every day just to grind out more items. It gets dull after a while.” We couldn’t be any different on that, she thought. I need that routine at the end of the d

On the other side of the forest, the mood improved considerably. What was it with Aincrad forests and traumatic situations? Acanthus resolved to take any route home that didn’t involve that stupid path. At this rate, she was going to develop a complex. At last, they made it to the labyrinth. It loomed over them, disappearing off into the distance. Her system map went dark the moment they stepped inside. Despite the gloomy exterior, the maze was full of life. The hard stone walls were pockmarked with moss and fungus. Trees and plants burst from cracks in the hard floor. Some stretches of t

“Edict!” She reached down to pull him onto his feet. Coming to, he accepted the help. “What just happened?” The usual trace of mirth in his face was gone. “Nothing happened. Let’s pick up the pace.” Managing about as fast a walk as they could, Acanthus’ mind raced. She wanted—needed—to know what just happened. And she would have been a fool to believe Edict’s denial. But it was clear he did not want to press the matter. And in this moment, he was right. The ominous feeling in the first grew, pressing in on the pair. An ominous feeling strangely reminiscent of HELLO, LITTLE ONE. TELL

Larbrook babbled to Acanthus in some incomprehensible accent. Judging by the wild gesticulations, he was alerting her to the misty path into the forest ahead of them. Edict mimicked some of his gestures. “Swedish chef over here is telling you that we have to make it through the forest to get to the labyrinth.” “How can you even understand him?” Edict tapped his temple and grinned, but said nothing more. Acanthus rolled her eyes and walked past him into the forest. The temperature dropped the moment they entered the woods. Acanthus could now see her breath. Something in the atmosphere

“As close-shelled as I am, Koji was even quieter. He didn’t like talking to people much. Mom and Dad were always so hard on him.” She wanted to say "for no reason," but she knew that wasn’t true. “Koji was incredible at videogames. He liked doing ‘speedy runs,’ I think they’re called. His favorite thing was to find things in the game that the game-makers missed, and use them to beat games. Glitches, bugs, exploits. I bet if he were here, he would have already found a way to cheat himself up to the 100th floor and solo the boss.” “My older brother loved games too. But he was less of a ‘hac

“I didn’t realize you had a brother. Me too; older brother. You?” “Younger. Strange, I really thought you—” “Were the older sibling? I get that a lot, surprisingly. What made you think that?” He looked at her, curious for her answer. “Well, you’re annoying.” “That’s a younger sibling thing—” “But in a caring way. For example, you insisted on tagging along—” “—for moral support and conversation—” “—to annoy me while you made sure I was safe.” Edict beamed. “I’ll take it.” Acanthus gave him a pointed look. “I see the younger sibling in you now.” “So t

The idiom must not have carried through Cardinal’s translator. There were very few flowers on this path to smell. “I’m just doing this quest for the experience. If it’s inefficient, it’s because I’m a poor judge of earning experience in this game. I’ve never played video games before.” She ended the conversation abruptly and walked ahead. Edict appeared frustrated, but said nothing else. He tried changing the topic. “You’ve never played a videogame? Like, never ever?” Acanthus shook her head. Edict whistled. “You picked a hell of a game to start with. Most of them aren’t this intense

“Aren’t you going to listen to your guide?” Acanthus observed the strangely tall anglo beefcake. He muttered incomprehensible words, taking every opportunity to stop and flex. “He is rather odd. Besides, I have you here. You’ve done this quest before, right?” The awkward pause told her she was wrong. “I’ve avoided this one, actually.” He kicked a few rocks as they walked down the gravel path. “Truth be told, it’s not very time-efficient. Navigating an entire labyrinth and slaying two monsters for 500 experience? You could get that in about 30 minutes on the upper floors.” He noticed