3ulogy

Eulogy heard of a wandering chef. He’d also heard the dishes were terrible. But there was no better place to stock up than Demian’s kitchen. Eulogy rifled through the selection, leaving shelves in disarray as he looked for just the right buffs. A little bit of accuracy, some protein… Whatever it would take to get his bonuses high enough to go and farm. There was no time to waste if he wanted to be the strongest player in the game. “Not sure how you ended up a cook, but you’d probably get more business if you stuck to towns, friend.” Purchasing. 2 crème brûlée. | ACC II 1 Gel

3ulogy trudged into the Evening Star, looking over the goods as if wondering just how watched-over the shop was. Seeing nobody but himself, he relaxed, although was ill at ease with the cat. “Probably some familiar making sure nobody runs off with anything. That’s probably for the best.” Moving over to the section of the store with trinkets, he glowered at the selection. “Glasses? Really? All the cool things you could have made and you chose the most mundane, real world thing ever.” He fished around in his inventory for a moment to pull out the materials. “Whatever. I’ll just go get somet

THREAD SUMMARY Experience: [Word Count: 3983/10 = 398.3] * [True Tier: 1] * [Group Factor: 1] = 398 + 800 = 1198 EXP Col: 400 (page) + 150 (looting) + 2000 (quest) = 2550 col (8) materials Zackariah’s Special Draught | Tierless Perfect HP Recovery Potion Initiate’s Draw | Dagger DMG 3 Big Bertha Braciole | (5x) T1 Rare Vitality Consumable (Snack) T1 Rare Weapon [237135a] T1 Rare Consumable [237135b] [237135c] T1 Uncommon Consumable [237134a] [237134b]

Buried at the bottom of the chest, there was a wet envelope. “Finally!” Eulogy grabbed the envelope from the bottom of the chest. He looked over to make sure Kohitsuji had hers too. “I think we’re finally ready to turn this quest in and move on.” The fisher rambled on and on, thanking them for finding the envelope (why was it even at the bottom of a treasure chest tossed into the river?). He told them about his woes, the tribulations he earned from the loan that the letter would repay… Eulogy snatched the damn thing from his hands with a “that’s crazy.” Not even Kohitsuji protested a

“Hey, hang on! I think I finally got it!” Eulogy pulled at his fishing rod eagerly. The weight carried a certain expectancy and excitement, and he couldn’t help but get caught up in it. With a final grunt, he tore the chest from the water and it tumbled onto the ground in front of him. “Good job, Eulogy!” Kohitsuji gasped. “And it’s such a big treasure chest too! I bet it has all sorts of things inside of it! Open it up and see.” Her comments felt patronizing. Of course the chest wasn’t any bigger than the one she fished up, but she placed herself in the role of bigger sister and encourag

“I’ll see you back at Pete’s, then,” he said sourly. Kohitsuji gave him a sympathetic look. “What do you mean? I’m going to hang out around here until you catch your chest.” “Well, don’t. You’re wasting valuable time when you could be finishing up the quest and moving on without me.” But Kohitsuji simply sat back down next to Eulogy, a little closer than before. She regarded him with a touch of sadness. “I don’t think I’m wasting my time. I’m just spending more time with a new friend.” Saccharine and foolish. “That’s really sweet of you.” Eulogy’s eyes misted up. “I… I really appreci

The minutes of fishing slipped by. Then Kohitsuji spoke. “You really think there’s a game dev here?” “Absolutely.” Eulogy spoke without hesitation. “Even the best programmers can’t account for everything. They need someone on the ground for bug fixes and patch implementation.” A fish swam by Eulogy’s bait. It took a small nibble, then darted off before Eulogy could set the hook. “Do you think it’s actually Kayaba?” The stupidity of the comment floored Eulogy. Choking down his initial thoughts, he responded, “I doubt it. You wouldn’t want to put the head of the game in the game itself

“So what did you do before you got stuck here? I was a—” Eulogy interrupted her. “We’re not supposed to talk about outside stuff. You never know who the other person might be.” Kohitsuji just giggled. “Eulogy, I trust you. Besides, even if you’re some crazy stalker, you can’t stalk me in real life. At least for a while.” “I mean, yea, but in a few months when we get out, it’s a different story.” “You really think it’ll just be a few months?” “Wha—yea, of course. Some powergamer is going to blow through all the levels and get us out of here. If they don’t find some weird exp

Fishing was the tense, maddening minutes between the last good part of the lecture and the bell to leave. There was nothing to do, really, other than wait and hope that the chest would let itself be fished up from the cold depths of the river. At his level, it was up to sheer luck. “At least you’ve got foraging to help you out.” Eulogy told her enviously. “Oh, no, that’s fishing. Completely different skill.” She went back to happily humming. Eulogy’s face burned with embarrassment. This girl somehow knew more about the game than him, despite the same time in the game. He wanted to be

The fisher had a bright and chipper attitude that appealed to Kohitsuji. Eulogy did his best to play along. “Fishing, wow! This is amazing. You really can do anything in this game.” Please, please let me go back to combat. I’m going to break my own neck if I have to spend an afternoon fishing. What time was it anyways? It was bright, but the sun didn’t move with the same regularity it did in real life. Everything had been happening in the span of a few hours, he thought. Then again, it brought his mind back to how people were getting ahead of him, despite being one of the first players ou

Eulogy offered an honest compliment when she returned. “That really worked a lot better than I thought it would.” Kohitsuji smiled. “It was actually kind of fun. I really should have tried things your way the first time around.” A warm feeling spread from Koji’s throat down to his hands and feet. “I… thanks. You’re not such a bad fighter, honestly.” Maybe he had misjudged her. Back at the blacksmith’s shop, they both turned their tusks in. The blacksmith offered a noncommittal grunt before dismissing them with a few curt lines about how he wasn’t stupid enough to owe Dorian any money. He

Kohitsuji calmed down as he slew the final boar. Sure enough, all three dropped the tusks they needed, and only the tusks. “Now it’s your turn.” Eulogy pointed at a nearby pack of three boars. Kohitsuji twirled her hair nervously. “I really don’t think I can do it.” Are you kidding? “No way! I know you can.” She shook her head. “You did good back there, but I don’t think I can jump around like that.” Eulogy frowned. “You don’t have to. With a spear, just keep your distance and stab them when they get too close. Play to your weapon’s strengths.” The girl collected herself, and began t

Combat. Finally! Kohitsuji clung to her spear, worried about the docile boars roaming the plains. Eulogy charged into the fight. He hadn’t practiced sword arts, or anything really. But they were boars. How hard could it be? He aggroed a pack of three. Perfect—he could finish everything at once. He heard Kohitsuji cry out in shock as he charged the pack. “You’ll get yourself killed!” As if. He vaulted over the first boar, spearing the second with his plain little knife. It squealed in pain and fragmented. Yes, Yes! This was a real game. Not talking, or waiting in line, or dealing with anno

Internally, Eulogy sulked. The crocodile tears worked on occasion, but even he had to admit they were often a last-ditch effort. He considered leaving the girl in line one last time, but thought against it. She might still have use yet. Predictably, the blacksmith tasked them with killing boars and returning their tusks to him. And just like Eulogy had predicted, he loaned them weapons to get the job done. “See? Aren’t you glad we stayed for the entire talk? We never would have known that we’re looking for the tusks of the boar. We might have come back with some other part.” She gigg

Eulogy debated leaving the girl right there. She was so annoyingly hesitant. Aincrad was waiting, and all she could worry about was talking to some scraps of personality that resembled a blacksmith. Quickly, he realized his own personality was slipping. “Sorry, Kohitsuji.” He simulated regret. “I just wanted to try and get ahead, but I don’t want to make you nervous. I just think that the game won’t get mad if we do things a little out of order.” Kohitsuji relaxed. Eulogy began to tear up. “I just… I’ve been rushing because I really miss my big sis. I just want to see her. And now that we

His time with Zackariah (Kohitsuji had informed him of the old man’s name) proved blissfully brief. When Zackeriah said he didn’t have the money, but he knew someone who might, Eulogy rolled his eyes. Kohitsuji appeared enthralled. “We’ll have to go talk to the blacksmith then!” She grabbed Eulogy’s hand to run out of the shop. He grabbed the boy’s hand. Don’t you *ever* do that again. If I ever catch so much as a hint that you’re back to—to doing this, I will… Eulogy tore away from the girl instinctively. She appeared confused but apologetic. “Sorry,” Eulogy mumbled. “Thought I

Eulogy’s words seemed to reassure Kohitsuji. “You’re right. Let’s give it one more try.” She attacked the trees with a renewed vigor. Raking her fingers between the branches, she came away with a pile of materials this time. “I did it!” She exclaimed. “It turns out that for the smaller trees, all you really have to do is bend the branches just enough that the leaves appear ready to pop off, and then…” Everyone in this game really seems to enjoy talking. Eulogy drowned out her monologue by retreating into his mind. He began to plan out his next few quests. There were a few shorter ones on

Eulogy was beside himself. He’d believed himself to be ahead of the pack with his sheer will and quick-thinking. And this girl literally tripped into a new class right at the start of the game. What a joke. “That’s incredible!” Eulogy gushed. “Maybe when we’re done, you can show me where the quest is?” Kohitsuji clapped her hands and smiled. “Of course. I’d love to help you out. But let’s complete this one first, okay?” “You’re right, Kohitsuji. How were those last nodes?” She frowned. “Well, they aren’t really dropping a lot, unfortunately. Some of these higher level nodes require a

Surprisingly, Kohitsuji took them back and closer to the wall. “I don’t see any nodes here.” “Look closer. At your level, they’re almost invisible.” Sure enough, when Eulogy looked at the nearby grove, he saw icons so small and white they were nearly impossible to see. “Those are higher-end foraging nodes. Just level two, but I can get some for us.” “Level two?!” The shock in Eulogy’s voice was genuine. “We haven’t been in the game for thirty minutes. How did you rank up so fast?” “Well, I sort of stumbled into it,” she admitted sheepishly. She began to forage at the high-level

Quickly, Eulogy rifled around his mental wardrobe of personalities. The girl appeared very shy, although she had been willing to approach a stranger. They were about the same age. Most likely, she was scared and looking for someone to help her. But sharing her knowledge of the game also suggested that she wanted to be needed. Eulogy decided that a classic, younger brother demeanor would be a good start. “I… I’m sorry.” Eulogy blushed. “I just—I don’t really know a lot about the game. And now the announcement, and the fact that everything here is *real*, and—” The girl reached out and

What was his dream, anyways? Eulogy actually hadn’t thought that far ahead. But he didn’t want to. The joy of waking up and not knowing what would happen that day was dream enough. He was free to do whatever he wanted. Except for right now. Right now, he was supposed to be picking stupid leaves off a stupid plant. Or rocks, or whatever passed for gathering in this game. Eulogy hated it. It was dull, monotonous work. He wished that he was dull enough in this moment to enjoy it, but he knew better. Eulogy found a small pile of rocks with the gathering icon above them. He rooted through

The cheese had been atrocious, like cold snot rolling down his throat. No doubt the old man was a terrible cook. But he’d seen the stat buff it gave him, and was willing to eat awful cheese for the bonus to his looting. The outskirts of town were a frantic mess. More people were out leafing through the gathering nodes, although Eulogy was perplexed at their presence. He knew he was one of the very first people out here. So how were there players now ahead of him? Focusing hard, he looking for a few of the gathering nodes further away. Most of the players were still being too safe. They ha

The old man’s shop was disgusting. Ancient shelves sagged with unidentifiable potions and salves. The whole place had an awful smell, like mold and chemicals and who knew what else. Eulogy gagged as a kindly old man appeared from the back of the shop. “Why hello there, my child. What are you here about?” Eulogy choked down his disgust. “Quest. Money. Do you owe the mayor money?” The man took a long moment to think, and it made Eulogy want to throttle the idiot. “Hmmm. I will need to look through my records. In the meantime, would you mind doing me a favor? I need some materials gathered.

Dorian was finally free. Eulogy barged forward and hammered the “accept” button before reading. The mayor droned on with some long, boring, convoluted tale about lending money and forgetting where he had given it to. Eulogy rolled his eyes, grateful he didn’t have to mask for the lifeless NPCs. He had no doubt that the last stop in the quest would be the person who actually owed the Mayor money. But the quest didn’t allow him to skip NPCs. It was going to make him follow the objectives, line by line. “I apologize for my forgetfulness. Why, just the other day I was leaving to go talk with

Eulogy approached Dorian. Two other players stood in line to talk with him while the third finished obtaining the quest. He couldn’t afford to wait behind these idiots. “Hey!” He started with a chipper tone. “What did you think about the lumberjack’s advice on this quest?” Of course there was no lumberjack, but who could resist confident words? The first player turned around in line with a quizzical look. “Lumberjack? There wasn’t a lumberjack listed in the quest log.” The man already looked anxious. He must be terrified of the game. What a fool. “Oh yea!” Eulogy brimmed with enthusi