[SP-F1-Complete]EaL Quest: Salting the Earth with Burned Water

[Lumiel 0]

"Hey Pillsbury Dough Boy, did mamma forget to pack a few carrots in your lunch pail full of Twinkies when you were a kid? [censored] fat ass..."

Lumiel laughed as he shot his way past shoulder barging his way through the thick crowd of fucks that stood before him like fish moving upstream and just as stupid. They either made a path before him or they were removed by being swung aside or thrown across the street from his mighty arms. Running a hand through golden hair, the soon to be Pugilist made his way onward to the quest area to pick up his first quest after the Kyaba Joke. Of course, he knew it was no joke but he laughed as if it were one and laughed even harder that some stupid fools actually thought people died once their HP hit zero in the game. If that was the case, Lumiel will be having a score of dead bodied before he could possibly exit the game, until then...

"Hey Sweet Ass! I got some creme for that Cherry Pie of yours!" A booming laughter was made with a rather rude gesture made from the female after his compliment, "[censored] Bitch...Screw you too!" he shouted back with a middle finger raised to the sky.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

It had not taken long for Lumiel to find the quest quiver. His lavender eyes rolled as he ran through the dialogue of the quest giver and clicked accept as many times as he could when the pop up asked if he wanted to take on the ordeal, "Yes, yes, yes, come on mother fucker. I don't got all damn day for this [censored]." his poking finger finally stopped to continue the conversation where he was escorted into the shop behind him. The smell of food filled his being as he got a sense for what he might be doing today...cooking [censored]. Once more rolling his eyes he was explained to take a spot at a small cooking section of the kitchen and to wait for instructions. Cracking his knuckles obnoxiously and waiting as he was told to do so, another NPC came out to greet him.

"Quack, quack [censored] duck. Get on with it..."

[Lumiel 0]

As he stood around it appeared he would be competing against some livestock NPCs in their own kitchen areas as well, as the NPC explained that there was only one spot left to be under the careful tutelage of seasoned Chef. Lumiel loved a challenge, but this was [censored] hilarious, "I could just massacre the dead weight and claim victory now you stupid fucks, but I'll keep my horns under wraps for now..."

"The first item on the list that you will be making today is a Toasted Club Sandwich. You will need fresh vegetables, two slices of preferred cheese and thick cuts of turkey and bacon. First start by..."

Lumiel thought he was going to fall asleep by the sound of this douche's voice. He slumped off to the side, placing his massive elbows down on the flat counter before him, he yawned and drowned out what he was listening.

[Lumiel 0]

After the instructions were given, Lumiel started to hum to himself as he prepared the meaty sandwich, [censored] that cheese [censored]. No one likes cheese, and instead he placed extra thick cuts of turkey and bacon on his sandwich. It was made to perfection in less than a minute, while he waited for the others to make their meal he could only watch and laugh as they fumbled around the kitchen pulling off broken pieces of bread and ripped slices of cheese on their sandwich creating a monstrosity of a failed project, "Hahaha...[censored] losers, what is this [censored]? Looks like something I would vomit in a toilet, or something that came out of my ass."

"As soon as you finish your sandwich, place it in the oven in the middle rack and allow it to heat until the bread is golden brown."

More stupid instructions, and Lumiel did as he was instructed. he wouldn't let these pansy ass [censored] claim what was rightfully his.

Edited November 30, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

"Ding! Hot Pockets!"

That annoying theme song was stuck in Lumiel's head as the timer had gone off. Forgoing the use of a mat or anything, he used his bare hands to grab the metal tray from out of the oven with a hot fresh Toasted Club Sandwich. Without even a burn, Lumiel produced his prize winning art to the judge as he passed by. Taking a knife, he lifted the center of the sandwich to see that he had created a cheese-less masterpiece. "Hmm-Hmmm," was all he said as he looked it over. 

"Very good students. The next part of your training as a Chef is to find exquisite ingredients that will make or break your creations. Go out into the fields and look for materials to be used in your kitchen masterpieces, as they will be the very life source of everything you make. You'll quest objective should be updated. When you return, we shall continue."

 

[Lumiel 0]

Moaning to himself, Lumiel lifted his mammoth hands to his face and swept back golden hair as he slowly made his way outside of the complex. His violet eyes strained from the sun as he gave a low disgruntled noise as they focused once more on returning to normal. Shifting his weight, his heavy foot steps started down the City of Beginnings, his eyes carelessly roamed over the crowds of people as they flocked, laugh and were herded around like sheep. Pathetic creatures that had no right to be living, it would only be a matter of time till his plan could be set in motion. Shoving his hands into his pockets, the future Pugilist made way towards the boundaries of the safe zone.

"Ugh...[censored] me...I don't even have bronze knuckles or anything to deal with the mobs around here. [censored] am I supposed to do again?" the edgy male swept a hand over his menu and eyeballed the quest objective again to collect materials. Moaning to himself, he moved towards the outlying land and steered away from the mobs until he had the damage output he could mister in creating a dent in those things.

[Lumiel 0]

ID: 40896
LD: 11 [+1 Mat]

Cracking his knuckles, Lumiel stepped beyond the safety of the edge of the town and slowly narrowed his eyes out towards the distant horizon, but kept focus of anything monstrous that would make his way towards him. Reading the notes from past experiences of others, he had made note that the boar's in the area were not aggressive unless you wanted to make yourself known to them. Shaking his head, he found it antagonistic to have to creep his way through these down trodden creatures, but it was better to be safe than sorry and he did not want to die a horrible death by a boar on his new journey.

So he had to find some ingredients for this Chef guy and that was all well and good. Materials is what the populace called them, whatever it was...it was generic as soon as it went into you inventory. You could find a plum and later it could be an iron ore or some vegetable. Whatever...Lumiel sighed as he leaned over and found an apple lying out in the middle of no where. No tree or anything...questionably enough, he took it without a second glance and pocketed the fruit.
 

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

ID: 40897
LD: 9

This had to be the most boring thing ever created in this game. Gathering materials was as much fun as beating up a scrawny ass [censored] from the ghetto's of Russia. His violet eyes rolled, and he complained to himself as he scoured the land for anything that would prove to be of interest. The land was as barren as that bitch from the Red Light district some years ago. Although in his defense, he was drunk off his ass but that was just an excuse. In the end...both parties were happy and he got what he wanted out of it. Shifting his right hand into a pocket while the left dangled, his purple button up shirt billowed out from him show trace signs of a particular tattoo on his back before it slowly fluttered back down over his flesh.

 

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

ID: 40898
LD: 19 [+1 Mat]

"Ring-a-ding-ding." Lumiel said to himself picking up what appeared to be another apple. In any case, he enjoyed apples. They were probably the best fruit ever created, why? Because the Serpent persuaded some dumb bitch to eat a long time ago which gave man kind shame. Shame was awesome, but Lumiel had little of it and he glorified himself on sin on the day to day basis. He would comit the oldest of crimes in the newest of ways and one day would shoot out wide spread fear to the masses, until then he couldn't even spook a ghost or another player with his shitty stats. But that would change soon, he had plans...he might be just a rock head, but he had some semblance of a plan of action which will shoot up in the ranks of a nobody to a Somebody. He barked out a laugh from his gut, an earth shattering jovial sort that came from the depths of his gut. Smiling to himself he continued on his way...

"The [censored] did I just step in? Boar [censored]..."

 

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

ID: 40899
LD: 6

Smearing his boots against the grass of the [censored] that he stepped in, Lumiel proceeded down a small path away from the boar hunting area. He watched as other players had taken down the mobs without so much as a fight and smirked to himself and waved his hand in front of him, if it was that easy to kill the boars with a sword and shield, he could do the same thing with his bare hands. They did a good enough job back in Russia when he was part of the mafia, he wondered if they were taking care of his body over on the other side?  But this was deffinetly not Russia he was in, this was some sort of fantasy game or another with swords and spears and other useless items. All he needed was his fists, the bare white knuckles pounding another man. Up close and personal, that was his style. Alas, he shot a violet gaze around his surroundings, too bad there weren't any more apples in the area to collect.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

ID: 40901
LD: 13

Fingers weaved over one another as Lumiel raised his hands over his head locking them in place as he searched the surrounding land for these special ingredients. The life of a Chef was a boring one if this is what he had to do to earn his materials. Looking on the ground for fruits, vegetables or whatever the [censored] they are supposed to do was something he was not necessarily made to do. Of all the professions out there, he chose the Cook...it was a woman's place to be cooking food, but in the long run the enhancements that were offered in the tutorial pages of his Guide Book were enough to show him that the Cook was the best choice to make. Besides, that even meant he could make his own liquor and that was reason enough to go this route.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

ID: 40902
LD: 5

Kicking grass, the boot on his foot lifted skywards as he rooted up emerald blades from their home in the ground. He gave out a long drawn out sigh as he shook his head once more finding nothing of interest out in the fields. This was by far the most boring job he had ever had to do, well, it came close. The mafia had some pretty boring jobs, but he had his comrades to do [censored] with to make things more interesting. That lifestyle was pretty damn fun though, he got to help rule a city in one term or another and the cops gave no [censored] for the kind of stuff they did. Too scared were they when they knew Lumiel, or rather Virgil was making his rounds to collect. Whether you paid or not was non of his concern, if you paid; great! If not, well, you got your head bashed in by those massive fists of his. And sometimes, stopping was just too difficult of a task.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

ID: 40903
LD: 17 [+1 Mat]

"A little ripe tomato..." he said to himself, finding a vegetable patch off the beaten path. The little garden showed little interest in him as material gathering was as he had stated a dozen times now, the most boring thing ever created. Plucking the ripened sphere from the plant, he inventoried the item and sighed to himself. Smoothing golden fibers of hair from his face, he swept back the fine strands and turned about walking back in the direction he came in. That was enough of that, he was finished here. It was time to go back to the city and finish up this stupid quest and get his [censored] together. As soon as that came about, he could drink himself stupid for the next couple of days and figure out what to do next.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

ID: 40904
LD: 2

Just as he thought, the patch of greens were being eaten up by some form of bug or another. Grunting excessively and moving on, he had finished his little day out picking for vegetables in the garden and was fed up with this bullshit. Making his way back to the City, he found himself rather confused as there was no set number of materials he needed to find. Was that on purpose or something? His mind hurt too much to think too deeply on the games mechanics and ended up passing through another crowd of people. "Ugh...move...out of the [censored]...WAY!" his large hands moved out in front of him as he started to shove people left and right making a clear path.

"Hey screw you jerk!" someone shouted at him as he moved by and stopped him dead in his tracks. Lumiel looked over his shoulder and grinned slightly, "You talkin' to me?"

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

As Lumiel spun around, his smile grew wider and when the player had shouted at him, he didn't take Lumiel's size into consideration at all. His arms were as large as an elephant trunk, his body was rippling with vascular muscles. The moment he stepped forward, the other player darted off, "Hey!" Lumiel shouted but he was long gone through the thickness of the crowd of people it wasn't even worth running after him. He did get a good look at the player though and would pay him back for his little comment one of these days. Cooling his head, Lumiel ran his fingers through his hair again and maintained a steady walking pace back to the Quest Shop where he would finish out whatever task he needed to do and get this [censored] done.

[Lumiel 0]

Returning to the shop, the NPCs seem to materialize out of thin air like ghosts, it was sorta creepy as he entered the shop and engaged the necessary string of dialogue to get things moving again.

"Most excellent! It seems you have got a taste for finding some superior ingredients, now wasn't that fun?" Lumiel was about to ball up his hand into a fist and bludgeon this NPC with everything he had. It most certainly was not fun. The Pugilist made his way back to his cooking station to wait for further instructions. As time went on, the Veteran Chef had began a detailed explanation of the world of food and how to become a Five Star Chef, all to which Lumiel cared little about. It was just one thing after another, droning on and on about food. Seriously, did this guy have some sort of fetish or something?

[Lumiel 0]

As he was lecturing, Lumiel began to make himself another sandwich. Listening to this goofball was agonizing and he would drown all that [censored] out with something else. As he looked up every now and then to the Veteran Chef, Lumiel had ended up making himself a new creation; a salted pork sandwich...it smelled good, looked good and...He took a massive bite out of his sandwich while mustard sauce ran down the corner of his mouth, "Aww...this is so good!" he said stuffing his face with it more, eating and chewing talking with his mouth full of the flavored pork meat. The class had continued on as Lumiel searched around for something to drink, "Holy [censored]...we can make drinks too!" Not hesitating, he used his work space to make something cold and refreshing, just something quick to wash down this epic of epic sandwiches.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Lumiel

[Lumiel 0]

Cooking or making something was not entirely a difficult task to do for the Pugilist. There was a set of basic instructions to go on when making things as a Chef and it was broken down into two groups more or less; drinks and food to which both were accessible early on in their careers. And with a click of a few buttons, depending on your rank this could be done easily or a bit more time consuming in the process of making your food. Right now the task was making a beverage for the tasty sandwich that was now half eaten had been put down as he ran a finger over the instructions on making something to drink. Following the instructions carefully, he mixed equal parts of the ingredients together and made a splendid soda pop drink. The bubbly soda was full and refreshing as it glided down the passage way and interrupted the lecture with a mighty booming burp.

[Lumiel 0]

Plowing down the rest of his food and drink, Lumiel had realized he had missed most of the important stuff on how to run a chef's kitchen. This was total bullshit however since all the information was clearly in the Beginner's Guide, there was no way he would listen to all that droning from an NPC. Bored and antsy, the Pugilist tapped his foot against the ground and folded his arms over his expansive chest and waited for this lecture to be done. Occasionally he would look around to see if he could stir up some trouble or something, but that was neither here or there. It was so God damn boring to just stand here and listen to this [censored].

"And in conclusion..." It seemed like the NPC was right about to finish up his explaination on things which meant Lumiel was one step closer to getting this [censored] done and over with. Finally.

[Lumiel 0]

"Congratulations! You have been chosen to be our next favored Chef!" Said the veteran cook as Lumiel pointed to himself out of surprise. Well...that was unexpected, but apparently it was a shoe in if you were the only player character in the shop at the time doing this event. Well that was good news, that means he could finally get his own shop and get things down to business. The Veteran Chef walked up to the mammoth of a man that stood in front of him, Lumeil gave a wide grin as he was given data documentation that he had passed the course with flying colors, which was funny as hell since Lumiel didn't do much besides screw around with the kitchen. A handshake later and the deal was done giving the Mafia Bruiser the keys to his own shop and where it was located at. All that needed to be done was to wrap things up here and check out his new crib.