[PP-F11] Return of An Old (Only Friends of Clarence Allowed)

[Clarence 0]

Saying hello to friends he has not seen in forever seemed challenging. He needed them to understand that this, right now, was not a return. He wants others to come that he knows to explain himself on why he has been gone. He doesn't think he will be back soon, just to say he isn't gone yet. Clarence sat out around the fire he set up by the safe zone so any one of his Orange friends could also come. He sent a group wide message to all the people he could think of bringing to this get together, hoping someone would show. The past few month have been some of the worst, maybe I can make ties with old people, and throw myself back out into the fray... maybe. He shivered, maybe at the thought of going out into the world again, or to the cold air flowing against him, he couldn't tell.

To All who Apply.

I'm not dead. I would like to see all of you just to, you know, apologize. Come if you want to actually see me. I love you all....

~Clarence

"Maybe they will show up...."He muttered to himself and willed a tear from his eye. He knew he messed up with Lowenthal, regreted not even saying goodbye to Zelrius. Wished he could see Ssendom and Calrex again. Even missed Daeron, a scary though. Hoped he could talk to Oikawa again. What if Lowenthal showed up? Would I be able to handle it? Probably not. But maybe I could finally apologize to him.... I know he would never take me back. Maybe today will be a great one.... maybe.

 

(OOC: If you are confused if you can partake in this thread, message me.)

Edited January 24, 2016 by Clarence

[Calrex 0]

It wasn't long after receiving the message that a faint blue light could be seen at the teleportation circle in the eleventh floor safe zone of Taft. Shortly after the flash was replaced by a blue-haired player as the Ultramarine Knight completed the animation for materializing his avatar on the floor. He gave a calming breath before opening his eyes to the medieval town, glancing above as he saw his blue peregrine falcon familiar also appear, immediately flying ahead.

"Looks like another good friend has come out of hiding. Best not waste any time."

He had sent a message over to his wife, Teayre, but it had been a few days since she had told him she was going to be on the lower floors to come to terms with her father's murder. Giving a small sigh he rubbed the back of his head as he exited out of the gates. Turning on his friend tracker it didn't take long for the bluenette to discern Clarence's location. As the young man came into view he gave a friendly wave as he completed the walk over, "Well, it's certainly been a while!"

[Lowenthal 0]

Lowenthal was in his shop, on one of the many beaches of floor eleven. He no longer had to sleep there, whcih was a good thing seeing as pkayer killers soul just enter in and attack him, as he now was a full member of the Azure Brigade. Which meant he had acess to thier guild hall, and thier rooms. It was nice, to finally sleep in a real bed that he didnt have to pay for. But what was nicer still, was the company around him. He reached up, and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, wiping the sweat from it. It had been hotter than normal, and he had been busy cleaning his shop for a good part of the day.

He had just set his broom aside when he recieved a notification. Wondering who it was, or what it might be, Lowenthal opened his menu. He read the message, then read it again. It was from Clarence, and it was a mass invitation. Of course it was. Lowenthal knew what would happened if he went. Hed say some colorful words, Clarence would cry and say he didnt mean to, and with the small crowd there it would make Lowe out to be a bad guy.

Lowenthal tossed his head back, smacking it against the wall of his shop. He was tired of this. Everytime he thouggt he was free of those memories, of those thoughts. Clarence managed to appear and reinstil those thoughts in him. Lowenthal made a choicr in his mind, and walked out the door.

A few moments later, he had arrived. And of course in normal fashion, Calrex had beat him to the punch. He ignored the Bluenette, and oushed ahead. He stared at Clarence, now not knowing what to say. He had thought this through, so many times. And had even practiced on the way here, but the sight of Clarencr threw him for a small loop. Finally Lowenthal gathered his complexion, and spoke. "Dont get to excited. You were along the way." He said, trying to show that he didnt care. He didnt care, at least not anymore. But he refused to let his emotions get the better of him. "Im waiting." Lowenthal said, hinting at the apology that Clarence had stated in his message. But it was beyond apologies, and all Lowenthal wanted was an answer.

 

(Phone post)

[Clarence 0]

Clarence looked up to the sound of Calrex arriving. "Calrex!" He said with a sad smile, hoping up and giving the man a warm hug. A guy, who he didn't know extremely well, motivated him to try and become a higher level. Clarence released the blue man and he took a step back, taking in the very high level player. "Wow Calrex, aren't you THE highest level player in Sword art Online?" He said with a smile, the sight of Calrex showed the skill he put in to trying to become the best he could be, and it worked well. The pair talked for a few minutes, catching up, dragging the thoughts of coming back to Clarence's mind, it seeming like something he might actually do. The arrival of the next broke his heart, but forced him to wear a fake smile. Lowenthal showed up and he knew that he didn't want to be here. He probably just wanted to get this over with. Knowing him he is completely over me and never wants anything to do with me, makes sense... Lowenthal urged him on and he broke from his thoughts. "Lowenthal... I'm surprised you came....." He trailed off and looked down a the ground but he looked up, a sad smile on his face. "I know you hate me, I understand that. You don't want anything to do with me, I understand that too. The reason I did what I did, broke away and became quiet, introverted myself from you and everyone around me is... Depression basically set in when I met.. Azazel. I became a jealous wreck that nothing could help. I trusted you but not her.... But all those inside jokes between you two, looks and winks, and even messages bore into me deeper and deeper. I thought I was losing you, and thinking back to all those I lost... I had to drag myself away. It was dumb, stupid, and I know I shouldn't have. No apology will work, but maybe understanding can help?" Clarence's eyes were tearing up but he forced himself not to cry, he did that too much.

[Calrex 0]

Calrex gave a friendly smile and nod as he exchanged words with the young man he had not seen in quite some time. As it almost appeared to be customary now, Clarence had taken notice of the bluenette's rapid progression through the experience levels of the death game they were trapped in, now being the highest player in Aincrad. He gave a smile as his cheeks tinged red out of embarrassment, "Heh, please it's nothing to write home about. It just means I've spent a lot of time out in the field zones training, not exactly something completely out of the ordinary for the frontliners right?"

However, as he heard footsteps behind him before a flash of orange appeared in front of Clarence in a confrontational manner. It was Lowenthal, the self-titled Master of Shadows and bearer of the unique title of Hanzo. It hadn't been too long ago that he and the young new head of the Azure Brigade took on both the unique skill rumor and a dungeon on the sixth floor, but this certainly did not appear to be a happy reunion between the two former lovers. He kept quiet, yet remained attentive to their conversation. It was true, Clarence had taken a long leave of absence without warning to anyone. The last time Calrex had seen him was at Lowenthal's birthday beach party some time back. He was certain a lot had happened during that time, but as he heard the reasoning he gave a small sigh to himself.

Moving over to the side he calmly stood a decent distance away, letting the two have their time to talk. It was not his place to butt in. However, from what the Ultramarine Knight understood of both of them, they were driven strongly by their emotions, something that he at times figured to be a double-edged sword. It kept both of them honest, but it also could result in unwanted escalation. At this point, he figured that he had to be both observer and mediator should their exchange become more heated. It certainly wouldn't be the first time he saw someone get hurt because of it, and he aimed to at least make sure that their reunion wouldn't build to a point anyone would look back on with regret.

[Lowenthal 0]

Lowenthal chuckled as Clarence stated that he was surprised that Lowenthal had shown up. "Hell, I'm just as surprised as you are." Lowenthal said, then allowed Clarence to finish talking and explain himself. Lowenthal listened to Clarence. Not just listening as one would hear a conversation, but he listened truly. And for what Clarence was saying, to Lowenthal was nothing but bull. If Clarence did trust him, then why would he leave out of jealousy? If he did trust him, then why did he not confer with Lowenthal about his feelings or his depression. Lowenthal wanted to call him out, call him the liar he was. But he held his tongue. Lowenthal took in a deep breath and let it out through his nose.

"Look, Clarence. If what you say is true, then I feel so much better." Lowenthal said, taking a few steps back. "That it wasn't me, but you. You 'lost' me, when you gave up on me. Gave up on me, and left." Lowenthal said, his hands in his pockets. He removed a single hand, and ran it through his hair. "You're right though. No apology in the world can fix what we were. But at least I understand now." He placed his free hand on top of Clarence's head and ruffled his hair. "You take care of yourself. Because no one else will. Live for yourself, no one other. Now, excuse me." Lowenthal said, turning away and walking away. "Calrex." Lowenthal said, as he nodded his head as he walked by.

As Lowenthal left, he was glad that he didn't let his emotions get the better of him. Through the entire conversation, he felt nothing but anger and hatred to the man he once called his lover. Lowenthal kicked a rock off the path, it bouncing into the grass beside him. He wanted to hurt Clarence, more then than ever. He wanted to make Clarence feel his emotional pain, physically. And perhaps even kill him. God, how he hated that man, and he was glad to be finally walking away from it. And from him.

-Lowenthal has left the thread, unless pursued-

[Clarence 0]

Clarence heard the words that Lowenthal said, and felt his hand on top of his head. Clarence flinched at the touch but stood there, listening to him. What really bothered him, not that Lowenthal was angry, and not that he said it was his fault. But, the fact that during their relationship. Lowenthal kind of accepted him pulling away. Come to think of it, Lowenthal didn't try very hard to get a hold of him. You are suppose to fight for a relationship. Not just blame the issues on the other. I know I caused bad things, and hurt him bad. But Lowenthal A: Has built up anger, and B: can also be to blame. "Relationships are a two way street." Clarence called to him, knowing that should get Lowenthal's attention. "I know what I did was wrong, but yet you act like you didn't do any wrong." Clarence yelled and turned to Calrex. "Sorry, this will only be a moment. If you want to leave, that is understandable. But this needs to be fully ended... Now." Clarence gritted his teeth and walk up to Lowenthal, catching up to the man with hurt and anger in his eyes. "You say I caused this, but you didn't try to put an end to it. You didn't hear me out when I saw you at Zelrius's party when you know I was going to come clean and accept what I did. You got angry at me, kicked me out of the guild, and left me. And you only reason you probably came is to get off your chest how horrible I am. Well.... well F**k you. You are not equal in the problem. But you are also to blame. I know you hate me. So why did you REALLY come anyways?"

[Calrex 0]

Calrex gave an understanding shake of his head as the tension seemed to build, "No worries, you two take your time. This is something you two should get addressed first. I'll keep an eye on the fire in the meantime. Just don't you two go running off too far."

With that he gave a small sigh before sitting down next to the blaze, the simulated heat warming his body as he relaxed a bit more. "Just keep an ear out for them for now. If things go too far, simply step in. Nothing I haven't done in the past for sure."

He felt a bead of sweat form on the side of his head as he heard Clarence give his respond to Lowenthal's words. It was certainly not a side of the young man he had witnessed before. In the past he seemed to be genuinely sweet and caring, even when they were in the midst of combat he had a light-hearted tone. Of course, this was not exactly a situation that could be taken lightly. With a glance upwards he checked and made sure Roc was still hovering overhead before turning his gaze back to the fire.

[Lowenthal 0]

Lowenthal heard the steps behind him, as Clarence was shouting out to him. His cries fell onto deaf ears as Clarence spoke. Lowenthal stood still, biding himself. What Clarence had said struck a nerve. Lowenthal turned on his heel, and with a balled fist punched Clarence. Lowenthal's fist met against Clarence's cheek. Without any ranks in the martial art skill, it barely did any damage, if it dealt any at all. "I tried! I tried dammit!" Lowenthal said, his voice cracking. "Clarence, haven't seen you today. Clarence, where are you? Clarence, was it something I did? Clarence please talk to me." Lowenthal said, listing off messages he had sent to the man. "I didn't give up! I grew wise!" Lowenthal shouted. "What was I supposed to do after you stopped talking to me?! Just, keep sending messages, on the off chance that one day you might actually [censored] reply!?" Lowenthal shouted again, his voice growing hoarse.

"And when you did come back, what did you do? Come running into my arms? Send me a message to let me know you were still alive? No. Instead you hid away. I'm actually convinced that when we did run into eachother at Zel's party it was on god damned accident!" Lowenthal said. "Tell me I'm wrong. Look me in the eye, and tell me I'm wrong!" Lowenthal shouted, not really caring about anything anymore.

[Clarence 0]

Lowenthal struck him. It wasn't really a hard hit, but the implications of the hit sent shock waves through him. Lowenthal blew up on him, reading off messages he sent, and accusing him of not trying to see him at the party, and he was right. "When I showed up to that party, I was ready to make my "final goodbyes" sort of say. Me, in the real world, I was diagnosed with Depression, but I kept that a secret. Ever since I was put in this game, it was on the back burner to trying to survive. But when I started to meet people and feel safe, old feelings busted through. I tried to fight them, but I couldn't. I left you, Lowenthal, because it was too much, and I was jealous of Azazel and you. I saw you at the party and couldn't hold back the tears. You did what I thought you should have done honestly. What I did was horrible. But, do you not remember the one message I sent early on? Or did you ignore it. "Hey, I'm not in a good place, I need time. Please stop, the messages are making it worse." And two seconds later the messages flowed in. You didn't listen. Not blaming it on you. It wasn't a plan to see you at the party. Because I didn't think I was going to see anyone else after that party, ever." Clarence said with tears in his eyes and looked at the ground, knowing how  horrible he is.

[Calrex 0]

"Geezes...they certainly are taking a while. Hope everything's alright."

Placing a hand on his chin the bluenette gave a small sigh to himself as he took a nearby stick and poked at the kindling for the fire. He already understood that the actual blaze was mostly aesthetic with simulated warmth, without needing any actual assistance for kindling, but in some ways it helped to remind him of the real world. Back before SAO he had gone camping many times in the past, learning how to use a knife to hack away at branches to properly prep them for starting campfires, survival skills, and the like.

Of course, in the game nearly all of that training went out the window. Most things that would require hours to prepare were most of the time completed in a series of button presses. The only aspects that he could tell required more than that were the professions. He had seem Oikawa and Teayre work hard to perfect their crafts, as the frustration at a failed product.

Shaking his head to help snap back to reality he continued to remain silent, hoping he might be able to pick up on a bit of Lowenthal and Clarence's conversation, if anything to make sure things didn't escalate.

[Lowenthal 0]

Lowenthal gritted his teeth again. "So it was selfishness then! Perfectly fine with leaving me, the man you loved behind! Because you were feeling sad yourself!" Lowenthal said, spitting on the ground. "I don't care about you. Or your feelings, or your depression." Lowenthal said calmly. He took in a deep breath through his nose, letting it out through his mouth. "You should've stayed gone." Lowenthal said. "It would've been better. I would've gotten over my feelings quicker, and you would be gone." Lowenthal said, calm with his words full of hate. He stepped past Clarence, walking back to Calrex. "You're not wrong. You would be better off dead." Lowenthal said, in a whisper to Clarence, before continuing his walk. Lowenthal gave a warm smile to Calrex, as well as a wave. "Well, I'm off. Take care of yourself Cal." Lowenthal said, only stopping for a moment.

Edited April 10, 2016 by Lowenthal