[OP-FI] Strong or Just Wishing?

[Cyanidezi 0]

Dezi's short green hair shivered in the early wind as she sat under a tree. Lonan was back at one of the motel things in a nearby town, but Dezi wasn't feeling it. Dezi wasn't feeling anything.

All Dezi could think about was the fact that she wasn't strong enough. How long could she hold up, before even she fell to the hands of this game. And how long after until Lonan fell. She had no control over this world. She had no control over anything. Anything she did would be exactly what the people holding the strings wanted. Anything she did would be what they wanted. That is, unless she found a way to break their game. Which, she couldn't do. She wasn't going to give herself false hope.

She put her head in her hands, and couldn't hold back her tears. All she was doing was postponing the inevitable. It was obvious that they weren't getting out of that game. Not unless someone else won, but how likely was that? More likely than her winning. But now she was trusting her life in the hands of random people who she didn't even know. The question was, how long could she wait for them before she too would crash? 

The virtual wind blew past her virtual hair, reminding her that no matter how "virtual" this world was, it was real now. Tears came streaming down her face, remembering how much weight she held on her shoulders. She had to be strong, or least act it, or else others would lose hope. She'd already lost hope, but she didn't want the people close to her to fall like she did. So she had to be strong. But she couldn't. She just couldn't. She was afraid. Not just afraid of watching the people close to her lose hope, but of dying. She was afraid of dying, as much as she would hate to admit it. And she was almost certain that she was going to die at some point. And that was a pain that she would have to feeling, knowing the future. Knowing that anything she did would mean nothing. She would die anyway, and when she did Lonan would too. And then their parents would be as good as dead. And it would all be her fault.

Th sunlight in the forest came streaming down through pockets in the leaves, leaving Dezi in plain view to any players who happened to be wandering around the forest. Dezi truly did care if they saw her, but didn't have the willpower to move. She barely had the willpower to stand, let alone go anywhere. All her strength was gone, mentally and physically. She felt like she couldn't go on, but she knew she had to. And that made it all the worse.