[SP-F1] Hassle In An Old, Creepy Castle

[Bhairyuu 0]

As Bhairyuu walked away toward the exit leading to the rest of the city, he began to compile a mental list of things he would need to accomplish in the initial stages of this death game so as to successful in surviving it. 

 “Hmm, let’s see…what are all the things on my agenda before I can venture out into the fields to fight the monsters?...if I were to go by the guidebook for this game, I would need to work on skill training for combat as well as for out of it, building up my Col reserves, acquiring basic inventory items and equipment, getting a basic layout of the land for now..."

As he realized how much he had to do, he groaned in exasperation and muttered to himself

ugh...having to do so much work just to survive is sure to be a real drag...but it would be even more of a royal pain if I were to die before achieving the goal for which I came into this world, so I guess I don’t really have any choice when it comes to doing these things...”       

 He then considered the list of tasks he had just made and wondered which of those tasks would be easiest to accomplish at his current level and which would be the most crucial for his success. After thinking about the issue for a few minutes, he finally decided that for the time being, he would start out by exploring his immediate surroundings, namely the Town of Beginnings. He spent the next several minutes going over all the info he had learned from the SAO guide book about the layout of the Town of Beginning and realized that though he knew the general features of the Town of Beginnings, he would still need detailed information on various related things like the exact locations of all the shops, the inns, and other important buildings in the town. He also realized he needed to have thorough knowledge of not only the Town of Beginnings but the surrounding area outside its walls so that he could, if at all possible, avoid as much confrontation as possible with the more dangerous monsters on Floor 1 and in doing so, hopefully keep himself in one piece.

Edited November 1, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

Spoiler

 

 

While he was thus preoccupied with his thoughts, the sky above slowly changed color to deeper and darker shades as the afternoon eventually gave way to late evening and when Bhairyuu finally came out of his reverie at this time, he found that his feet had carried him to the alleyway beyond which lay that same alchemist shop he had been at earlier in the day, with both of these being located in the southwestern part of the Town of Beginnings. This alleyway had, to his great surprise, completely changed its appearance from what it was when he had seen it earlier in the day. It had been replaced by a sort of improvised tunnel formed from series of rather roughly hewed stone arches each of which was separated from the arch immediately before and after it by an equidistant span of about 3 feet. 

Each of these arches had atop its capstone in the center a large sinister looking gargoyle statue which was flanked by two other smaller, but equally sinister looking gargoyles. The presence of these gargoyle statues combined with the way the light of the evening sun fell upon the arches gave the scene an eerie feel which sent an inexplicable chill coursing up and down Bhairyuu’s spine causing him to shiver involuntarily. However, this also served to pique his curiosity about the source of the chill he felt when he gazed upon the arches, and so he muttered to himself

"Gee...whoever is the owner of this store sure has a most interesting taste in decor...I just hope that they are not as creepy as they have made their store and its surrounding to be..."

 

Edited June 7, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

 

He paused running his right hand along the surface of the stone arches as he started to make his way into the tunnel, thinking to himself

"Hmm, my better judgment is telling me NOT to go in, but if I leave it well enough alone...this mystery will just keep nagging at my mind henceforth...but if I do go in, what will I do if I get into an unnecessarily energy-intensive experience?...Dammit all to hell! This is so damn troublesome!!"

He swore thus as he dithered about after he had stepped into the archway tunnel while ruffling his hair in such an uncharacteristically irritated manner that any who knew him would say that he was not acting like his usual calm self. After a few minutes however, he decided that he would go inside against his better judgment, muttering after letting out a sigh

"Ah well...as the old adage goes...nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? ... So, I might as well see what light lies at the end of yonder tunnel..." 

He spoke to no one in particular and then chuckled at his clever use of another saying before heading further into the archway tunnel.

Edited June 7, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

As he made his way through the archway tunnel, he muttered under his breath while looking about and studying his surroundings

“Geez…what the hell happened to this area anyway?...When I had come here earlier, it was looking innocent enough, but now…it looks so creepy now…I am no coward but still…this would serve to unnerve just about anyone…

He kept muttering like that all the way through the tunnel, the whole trip taking him approximately 10 minutes. At last, he exited the tunnel and entered the space beyond it wondering all the while about the cause of the strange, creepy vibe he got from the place. When he exited from the tunnel, he found himself face to face with some sort of a massive semicircular stone bridge which spanned the gap between his location and a large, medieval looking castle which rose above the surrounding area.

Bhairyuu tried to get a good look at the castle but unfortunately for him, some parts of the castle before him were obscured by multiple rolling wisps of mist which he found to be most certainly unnatural given the location of the area he was in at present. However, this served to intrigue him enough that he decided to venture further into the eerie mists that blanketed the place like multiple thin veils in the hopes of learning more about the castle. 

Edited June 7, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

Spoiler

 

Bhairyuu tried to get a good look at the castle but unfortunately for him, some parts of the castle before him were obscured by multiple rolling wisps of mist which he found to be most certainly unnatural given the location of the area he was in at present. However, this served to intrigue him enough that he decided to venture further into the eerie mists that blanketed the place like multiple thin veils in the hopes of learning more about the castle. 

Thus, Bhairyuu stepped onto the bridge and started making his way across it, all the while taking in the details of the architecture of said bridge. As he observed it on his way across, he found that the stone guardrails on either side of the bridge were topped by the same incredibly creepy and sinister gargoyles that he had spotted atop the stone archways that formed that tunnel he had just passed through on the way to the space he was in now and groaned aloud, muttering 

"More gargoyles...really? Wow...hasn't the owner of that castle ever heard of variety and imaginative decor before? I mean...seriously...any normal person would include something different in their decor choices at least ONCE in a while, but I guess such a concept must go right over this person's head...how annoying..."

Grumbling thus, Bhairyuu made his way across the bridge, all the while wondering what sort of eccentric the owner of the potion shop turned castle had to be to have the sort of decor sense as he had seen thus far.

Edited June 7, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

Spoiler

 

The whole trip across the semicircular stone bridge took nearly 30 minutes at the end of which, Bhairyuu finally reached close enough to the castle to actually see enough detail since by now, the veil of mists that had been obscuring the castle from view had parted before him, letting him see the castle. The castle was enormous and was built in a medieval style and had been constructed with the same kind unnerving weird style as were the bridge and the archway tunnel he had encountered on the way to the castle. The castle towered above him so much that Bhairyuu could just barely manage to see its ramparts which seemed to have what looked like long, deadly looking vertically positioned spikes topping them which gave the impression that the owner was maybe trying to stop some airborne foe from landing there, which struck Bhairyuu as he wondered

"Hmm, now that's odd...as far as I know...there are no flight-capable monsters on Floor 1... So why would the owner of this place put those spikes up there?...Oh well...no use wasting valuable brain power on this...now let's see about the rest of the castle..."

Thinking thus, Bhairyuu turned his attention to the rest of the massive castle before him and examined it thoroughly, hoping to find some clue as to the identity of the owner of the castle so that he could be mentally prepared for when he actually met him/her. The whole structure seemed to be made of some sort of black stone and was divided into three main sections. The center section was the most intricately designed and spread outward, ending in two tower like structures which had a series of what looked like windows near the very top, the windows seeming to extend around the entirety of the towers. At the top of the towers were statues mounted on a some sort of base. After looking at the towers, Bhairyuu once again directed his attention to the center portion of the edifice, amazed by the sheer degree of visual details he had to take in from it.

Edited June 13, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

The center section of the edifice was a complex one since the middle most portion was constructed in such a way that it jutted outwards and forward from the rest of the center section while the edges seemed to be more inset and connected to the two towers he had observed before. The middle most portion was again divided by a sort of ledge made of the same material as the rest of the castle, this time into top and bottom portions. The top portion was made of two rectangular stone columns with which rested on a massive square block which served as the base for them and in between these was an inset portion which had a large statue of what looked like a dark god. This statue was positioned below a fancy stone arch which interrupted the evening light falling on the statue, making the statue look even more sinister than it was probably meant to be. 

The lower portion was also framed by the same rectangular black stone columns as was the upper portion of the center part of the edifice. In their upper sections, each of these columns had long narrow grooves in the center which had a much more narrow stone column which was white in color. The lower part of the center section of the edifice between the lower portion of the stone columns had larger windows, the bottom part of each of which was decorated by a ghastly looking tapestry. Set between the two tapestries was what looked like a satanic figurehead complete with long horns and a small pentacle on its forehead which served to amplify the intensity of the creepy vibe the whole castle and its surrounding gave off. Below the satanic figurehead was what looked like a pair of massive wooden doors that guarded the entrance to the castle and leading a little way to the bridge was a small stone staircase. 

As he took in all this, Bhairyuu muttered to himself while suppressing a shiver which he knew was not from the chilly evening air

"Wow, a dark god AND a satanic figurehead...whoever this owner is, he or she must be some sort of bonafide witch or wizard...I mean, it's quite clear that they have a propensity for some rather dark decor... 

Then, shrugging off the shivers that were coursing up and down his spine at the moment, Bhairyuu decided to take a risk and approached the castle's stone staircase and headed up towards the massive wooden gate and used the thick bat-head shaped, black colored brass knockers to knock three times, hoping but not at all expecting the doors to open for him. 

[Bhairyuu 0]

As he stood there waiting Bhairyuu was surprised to see the enormous wooden gates open with a loud creepy creaking noise which made it seem like the owner had not oiled the hinges in a fairly long time. As he peered into the shadowed innards of the castle beyond the doors, Bhairyuu wondered to himself 

"Wait...these doors opened...but there is no one here who could have opened them...meaning they opened by themselves...that just adds a few more points to the creepy factor of this castle...and makes it seem like the owner was expecting someone to pass by here and knock upon her doors...but who would actually go near such a sinister looking place...except the hyper-curious like me?...Ah well, whatever..." 

Thinking thus, Bhairyuu made to enter the interior of the castle, but just as he stepped forward, he felt his right foot sink a few inches into the top step of the stone staircase and wondered just what he had stepped on. His reverie was interrupted when, just moments after his left foot hand sank, another noise was heard, this one appearing to one of something clanking against something else and this sound was coming from the groove built into the stone archway above the gates. Soon, Bhairyuu saw the very edge of what looked like one of those drop down metal grill gates and so he hurriedly dashed into the castle. Moments after he entered, sure enough, a rusted iron grill gate with the edge having short metal spikes dropped down with a loud deafening thud into the groove built into the floor, effectively sealing off his only apparent means of exit from the castle. 

Edited June 13, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

As he watched the whole scene unfold while sweating bullets, Bhairyuu breathed a sigh of relief muttering to himself as he realized he had avoided a potential bad end for him

"Wow...talk about a close call...that could have been me back there...if I had stood there any longer than I had, I would surely have been crushed to death under the weight of this grill gate...which in turn would have meant that my body back in the real world would also have died right then and there...thank goodness for my quick reflexes..." 

As he stood there trying to calm his racing heart down to its normal physiological parameters, Bhairyuu made a mental note 

"Note to self...need to watch out for any more secret switch mechanisms so that I don't end up dying in such a crappy manner as this...that would be a real drag..." 

Sadly, Bhairyuu did not have too much time to rest as a massive swarm of tiny vampire bats swooped down on him out of nowhere as if following the stereotypical script for some horror movie. Bhairyuu swore and then ran for dear life heading deeper into the castle in an attempt to give the bats the slip. After what seemed like hours of non-stop running, Bhairyuu finally managed to give the bat swarm the slip by ducking into a small room and hiding in it. 

[Bhairyuu 0]

Spoiler

 

After about 10 minutes, Bhairyuu noticed that the sounds of the bat swarms were getting further and further away from his location and so, he peeked around the door-frame of the tiny room he was hiding in and looked about cautiously, taking stock of where he was and looking out for any more sources of potential trouble. Since he did not detect anything immediately dangerous, Bhairyuu stepped out into what appeared to be a long hallway wondering to himself 

"Thank heavens, I thought I was surely going to be driven batty by those...bats...but now that they are gone, I can be on my way...hopefully there won't be any more surprises like that one..."

He then walked along the length of the hallway keeping all his senses on full alert for any potential threats that might come his way and eventually came across a massive chamber. As he peered inside, he saw that it was laid out like a massive dining room, one which was so ornate that  it seemed fit for royalty. To confirm, he looked outside again and noticed that the doors to the dining room were flanked on both sides by two large ornately constructed pillars each of which had a big brass plaque on which were engraved the words [Welcome to the Great Hall], causing him to smile and lick his lips in anticipation of a possible free meal

Edited July 3, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

"Well well...what have we here?...a dining room?...Hmm, if I am reading that right, it says "Welcome to the Great Hall"...wait...Great Hall...Great Hall, now why does that sound so familiar to me?...Let's see...Oh yeah!! I know...it's from that series of novels written by that one famous female author...J.K. Rowling...if memory serves..."

He paused this train of thought of his and tried to recollect what he could about that female author and her novels, all of which he had read in the recent past and all the movie adaptations of said novels that he had seen on the occasional free day when he was bored out of his gourd by not having much to do. He then muttered to himself again, all the while fully aware of how ridiculous he must look right now to any who chose to observe him

"Hmm, I guess the person on the design team for this VRMMOPRG who created this particular scenery is not only a fan of Skyrim but also of Harry Potter and his creator, J.K. Rowling...not that I blame him or her, I enjoyed those two very much as well...Now...let's see if I can swipe me a free meal..."

Muttering thus, Bhairyuu slowly and cautiously stepped into the very center of the dining hall and set his mind and his eyes to work in observing its architecture and layout. The room seemed to be constructed, at least from what he could see of its detail, of the same black marble as was the rest of the castle. Directly opposite him was one of the walls of the room composed of a center section which slightly jutted out from the rest of the wall and which was carved such that it had what looked like a fireplace and above it was some sort of balcony like part. This part was mostly shrouded from view by two thick curtains made of some dark colored material, so he figured it must be for important guests and such of the owner.

Edited June 21, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

The portions of the wall that flanked this centerpiece on either side were recessed and sported what seemed like an incredibly ornate pair of tapestries which no doubt held the story of the history of this place and of course, of its mysterious owner. After taking all that in, Bhairyuu made a mental note

"Note to self...must give those tapestries a good read one of these days...if the owner would be kind enough to let me do so, of course...Reading through that would go a long way in explaining how this entire thing came to be..."

Then, Bhairyuu let his eyes wander first to the left where he noticed that the portion of the wall there had some sort of stone staircase resting against it and so he walked to that spot and upon reaching there and taking a closer look, he saw that the stone steps he saw were just the initial portion of the entire staircase and that the staircase led upwards, but alas, he could not see any further because of a massive curtain made of some dark colored material hung down, obscuring the path ahead. Letting out a disgruntled sigh, Bhairyuu once again turned his attention to the room and went back to studying it, his curiosity overpowering his hunger for the time being and providing the driving force that let him ignore it, if only for a brief while. Directly opposite him, at the other end of the dining hall was a pair of rooms situated right next to each other. One of them was only partially open while the other seemed to lead to a roughly hewed path which ended in yet another staircase, this one leading down into the bowels of this massive castle. As he walked toward these rooms, Bhairyuu wondered aloud

"Hmm, I wonder what those two will lead me to...either way, I am sure it will something either unbelievably corny/cliché or something really exciting...can't wait to find out..."

Edited July 3, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

Bhairyuu then turned and walked over to the center of the dining hall where there lay three ornate tables which, upon closer examination, he found to be something akin to Burma teakwood or perhaps even ebony. One of the tables was situated horizontally, or if he was being mathematical about it...along the X-axis while the other two were placed parallel to each other along the Z-axis, leaving a large rectangular space enclosed on three sides by them, this being he stood as he studied the tables. He looked up and down the tables, noting the absolutely lavish spread of food and drink there as well as the accompaniments in props

"Hmm...let's see...flame colored goblets with some sort of liquid in them...and is that butter-beer I see in them?..."

Bhairyuu muttered to himself as he picked up one of the goblets and took a whiff of the aroma from the liquid in it. He then set it down and cast his gaze about the tables, examining the food and muttering to himself again

"Wow...there's what looks like pumpkin pastilles, bouillabaisse, treacle tarts....oh this is just too rich...everything on these tables are food items I know from Potter-verse...man...I don't know if I should call this corny...or if should praise the designer for the degree of detail and work he put into these replicas of the food items from Potter-verse..."

Bhairyuu said to himself as his eyes fell on the last food item there...a massive roasted boar complete with an apple stuffed in its mouth and fried potato pieces arranged around it.

Edited July 3, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

As he concluded his examination of the food, Bhairyuu thought to himself

"Hehe, talk about food, food everywhere, but not a person to eat it all....how strange, was the owner expecting some company?...because if that's the case...they sure are missing out by being so late to this veritable banquet...what a shame..."

Thinking thus, Bhairyuu shook his head and sighed in exasperation as he heard his stomach growling louldy, a sure sign that his hunger pangs were slowly but surely becoming well nigh impossible to ignore for much longer and muttered to himself while taking some of the food he saw onto his plate, all the while looking around surreptitously

"Hmm, well then...I doubt they would mind very much if I help myself to some of this all-you-can-eat buffet...if they do, I can probably pay them some Col in compensation when I meet them..."

With that, he began to wolf down the food items one by one since he was so famished from all that exercise he had gotten earlier from exploring the castle so much and dodging those vampire bats.

Edited November 1, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

Several minutes ticked by slowly but surely as Bhairyuu tore through the food items one after another until finally about 30 minutes or so after loading his plate, Bhairyuu was finally finished with his impromptu meal. After that, he cleaned his plate and then after downing some of the butterbeer from those flame-colored goblets he had seen earlier, Bhairyuu cleaned himself up and then headed off to the far end of the dining room where he had seen the staircase on the left and a large door with a mysterious looking room on the right side. Once he got there, Bhairyuu was puzzled as to which side he should explore first and so he did the typical "Eenie meenie minie moe" game at the end of which, he ended up selecting the large, ornately made door on the right side of the dining room. After making his choice, he walked at a brisk pace towards it and then slowly and carefully opened the door to peek inside, wondering what he would see in the room.

Unfortunately for him, most of the room was enshrouded in a sinister-looking veil of shadows that made shivers run up and down his spine and he sighed, thinking to himself as he strained his eyes and was barely able to make out some ominous looking shapes towards the end of the room.

"Geez, just once...just once...I thought I would get something easy and safe to see...but here I am staring into a room that looks more like a jail cell or a torture chamber...is it really that much to ask for to have something easy and safe?..."

[Bhairyuu 0]

Spoiler

 

Bhairyuu sighed and then stretched and twisted from side to side, trying to iron out the kinks in his body from having sat so long at the dining table not too long ago when he had been enjoying some of the delicious food set on it. He then set foot into the room, muttering

"It sure is dark...but hey...nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?...So here I go...I just hope there's nothing too troublesome waiting for me..."

For a split second after he had entered the room, it stayed dark, dank, and dreary, but then a minute or so later, the whole room was aglow with the soft flickering firelight from the torch held in the hands of a sinister statue of what looked like a demon or perhaps a vampire located next to the entryway to the room. Once his eyes had adjusted to the flickering firelight, Bhairyuu started cast a series of sweeping gazes about the room, trying to take in all the details he could, his jade green eyes on high alert for anything that looked ominous or problematic to him.

Edited November 9, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

After about an hour of looking about the room, Bhairyuu managed to get the general layout of the place and so he headed further inside, examining the room and trying to glean the finer details, all the while hoping to gather some clues about the identity of the mysterious owner of the castle so that he could sate his curiosity. The room was roughly spherical in shape with the walls looking rather roughly hewn, as if they were carved directly out of the rock face that the castle was supported by from behind without any sort of polishing or attempt to make smooth rectangular walls out of it. As he examined the walls, Bhairyuu found a glistening veneer covering the walls which became apparent in those places where the firelight from the torch fell upon them unabated by any obstacle, making them appear as if they were covered with some transparent substance, but alas he could not find any such thing when he ran his hands along the walls. Perplexed by this, he sank into his own thoughts for a few moments

"Hmm, judging from the appearance of the walls of this room...perhaps the owner of this castle has not planned on showing it to anyone in his social circle...but why?"

It was then that he had looked down at the floor by sheer coincidence and noticed some rather suspicious looking stains on the floor. Intrigued by them, he knelt down and swiped the index finger of his right hand across the stains and then brough it to his nose for a whiff, muttering

"Hmm...there a very faint odor to this, so that must mean it was quite a while back that this substance fell on the floor...let's see...and it seems like it's almost dry...which reinforces my conclusion...but what in the world is this substance?..."

Bhairyuu wondered thus while looking around for any potential sources of the stain substance, but to his dismay he could readily spot anything that looked like a potential culprit, so he decded to file the stain problem away for a few minutes and got back to his feet, looking about the room curiously, deciding on his next target.

[Bhairyuu 0]

As Bhairyuu looked about, he noticed a series of cabinets on each end of the room with what looked like a fireplace in the middle and wondered

"Hmm...those look intriguing... I wonder what's in those...it wouldnt hurt to check it out at least...it's not like I will be stealing anything...

With that thought in mind, he crawled up to the cabinets on the left side since those were the closest to his position at the moment and studied them, hoping to learn something new about the owner of the castle from the architecture of the cabinets. They were made of what looked like ebony wood with an intricate gold and silver inlay depicting what seemed to be a scene from an alchemist's lab from the days of yore. As he was fascinated by the artwork, Bhairyuu stopped for a few moments to admire it and then gently pulled open the panel guarding access to the innards of the cabinet since he did not want to damage anything or leave any traces of his presence there. After that, he started to sweep his hand slowly through the first cabinet with all his senses on high alert for anything that might prove to be troublesome to him.

Edited November 11, 2016 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

Several minutes passed with nothing turning up in his search and so Bhairyuu was just about to give up when he felt his fingers brush against what seemed like a group of flasks. So he pushed the cabinet's sliding panel further to the left in order to be able to see the flasks. Once he did, several flasks and vials of various sizes were revealed by the firelight that now fell upon them, each one containing a different colored liquid. As he gazed upon the intricately designed containers each with their own serum inside, he was more or less mesmerized by them and reached out his hand, taking one in each. He flipped open the tops of the flasks with his thumbs and began to take light whiffs so as to not trigger any adverse reactions inadvertently. Nothing happened and so, presuming they were at least safe to drink, he began to down one of them when all of a sudden, he was tapped on his shoulder.

This of course caused him to leap a few inches into the air from his current position since he was startled by the tap he felt a few seconds ago. Then, while trying to calm his now pounding heart down, he looked about, but did not see anyone or anything, causing him to mutter

"Hmm, odd...I could have sworn I felt something or someone tap me on my shoulder...oh well.."

With that, he went back to downing the contents of the flask in his left hand. After a few minutes, he finished emptying that flask and put it on the top of the cabinet. Then he looked at the exposed parts of his body to see if there was any detectable change, but alas there was none. So, he started to down the other flask, this time a little faster just to see what would happen as his curiosity had gotten the better of him.

Edited February 3, 2017 by Bhairyuu

[Bhairyuu 0]

A few uneventful seconds passed as he continued to drink the contents of the flask in his right hand and Bhairyuu was starting to get disappointed when he felt another tap on his shoulder and so, he spun around on his heel swiftly, fully expecting to see the owner of the castle or one of his/her subordinates...but again, he saw absolutely nothing, save for his creepy surroundings, illuminated as they were by the firelight. Muttering to himself, he turned back and took a particularly long draught from the flask, polishing this one off as well. Then he waited for anything noticeable to happen, and his wait was not in vain this time as his arms changed shape to look like the tentacles of an octopus...or perhaps a squid. Bhairyuu examined his new appendages with great amusement and interest, musing

"Well well...this could come in handy...let's see how long it lasts..."

He waited to see what would happen with one eye on the timepiece outside in the dining hall and the other on his new appendages. After a few minutes of waiting, he felt another tap on his shoulders, so he whipped his body about and lo and behold, he came face to face with an exceptionally well-endowed woman clad in standard witch's attire and with curious pieces of jewelry adorning her statuesque, seemingly 30 year old figure. The woman leaned close to him and spoke, her voice having a enchanting tone to it

"Well well, what have we here? It seems like my security has become lax...if even such a greenhorn such as yourself can sneak in to my sanctuary...but...you intrigue me, so I will spare you...but tell me boy...why have you come here? And what is it you hope to gain?"