[PP - F4] Warmth

[Lessa 1]

Hold me in this wild, wild world. Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be, and in your heat I feel how cold it can get.

Continuation of New Beginnings.

Frozen Lake ❄ Closed to Baldur

At the thought of their first meeting, a wry smile twisted her lips. "If I remember correctly," she began, "I about killed you." As her gaze found his, and noticed the humor in his eyes, her expression softened. "Did I ever apologize for that, by the way?" At the very least, she assumed that he had forgiven her, as he considered her one of his closest friends. There was a sudden desire to share her own feelings, that he was the best friend that she had. But in the moment, she worried it might feel forced, and the last thing that she hoped to do was make their evening uncomfortable. Instead, she shelved the notion, and turned back to the path ahead.

"It means a lot that you told me your name," the blonde admitted, once the topic had been breached. There was a pause, a moment's hesitation as the woman worked to collect her thoughts. "But," she started slowly, "I guess I still have a hard time seeing you as-" I can't even say it. "-anything but 'Baldur.'" The look she gave him was pained, and mildly apologetic. "'Baldur' is safe, you know? 'Baldur' is here, and now. 'Baldur' doesn't assume that we'll see the outside world. Or, that we won't. Don't tell me your name so that I can tell your family if you die. That's garbage. I don't want that put on me."

"I told someone my name, once." Now she plowed ahead, the hesitation giving way to slightly panicked babbling; she worried that she might have offended the dark-haired boy. "I did it because I wanted him to know who I really was, outside of the game. So we might reconnect, one day, when we were free. That was years ago, and he, uh, he didn't make it." Lessa's hands moved to fidget with the belt on her jacket. "So, yeah. Names are weird." Her eyes dropped to her boots, and her blonde hair fell about her face like a curtain. Her expression was shielded from him when she added, "and so am I, apparently."

[Baldur 0]

Baldur breathed in a long, deep draw of that cold, crisp air flavored with the scent of pine and freshly fallen snow that permeated the floor. It felt so good to be walking along the lake with Lessa. He wasn't worried about anything, even as their conversation moved to players they had lost. Instead, he had only the walk and good conversation to enjoy. How long had it been since he had done that? He enjoyed his sessions with Calrex, but the tutelage and philosophical conversation was a force of will, it was something Baldur meditated on, reflected on, and then taught with an effort. Here, now, with Lessa Baldur could relax, mind and soul.

"Heh.. I don't know if you did or not. Probably so, because you then went on to help with our friend quest. And then you invited me to join the Guardians." He smiled faintly at the memory. 

"To be honest, I do feel more like Baldur than Jason. The outside world is such as distant memory, that if you told me I had the chance to go back or stay here, I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to go back." He chuckled awkwardly, "Not that I don't have a problem with this death prison that we're in, just to say that I've become so used to this floating castle... I don't know that I'd be able to adjust back. The longer we're here, the more this seems real and the more the real world seems like the dream." Baldur took a moment, thinking about how weird it felt to say his other name. "Baldur is someone I am proud of. He has been a good person, treated everyone with respect, holds his own and contributes towards a good noble cause every day... I couldn't say the same of Jason... But whether I make it out of here or not, I want someone to know who I really am, and when we get out of here, you can get that I'm going to track you down and give you a real hug." He smiled shyly at her sideways, without every really facing her.

He gave out a deep, guttural giggle when Lessa, her face covered in embarrassment, admitted that she was weird. 

"You're weird? That must be why we get along so well then." He gave her a bigger grin now as he slipped his hands into his pockets and looked up at the sliver of night sky they could see between the floors. Once they got to the other side of the lake, they'd only be a little ways away from the edge of the floor where they could see the whole of the night sky.

"Who you are is plain to me, Lessa, even if it isn't to you and you feel that you are in flux. Jason is a different person than Baldur was at the beginning, to who Baldur is now - and yet I'm still the same person, aren't I? We have been forever changed by this world, but as you said, it has brought me your friendship, so it isn't entirely bad." His steel blue eyes danced as he gave her a playful, rueful look. 

[Lessa 1]

"Hmm." The noise was light, and thoughtful, and only just barely audible. How could the man possibly prefer to stay here, trapped in this floating prison? The thought baffled her, but she managed to keep the perplexed expression from her face. Rather, she remained neutral. All the while, her mind raced. Was it possible to grow so acclimated to the game that it became reality? In a sense, she understood; she was far past considering the threats imaginary. But the outside world still felt real. It was her goal. It motivated her, and she wanted it more than anything else.

"Lessa still feels like a different person to me," she explained, putting voice to her musings. "I wonder how much of her will stick around, after all this is done. I have done some really extraordinary things, and I've changed so much. But I miss... not being Lessa. I miss not fearing for my life, and the lives of the people around me. I miss just existing, without some big goal, or purpose. Just sprawling out on the couch, watching bad Hallmark holiday movies with my mom, without a care in the world." A hand moved to her head, her fingers raking her curtain of hair back from her face. Now, with her expression exposed to Baldur, her pain was apparent. "I think about it a lot," she concluded. "I don't want to stay here. I want to go home. When I get there, I wouldn't mind that hug."

Her eyes, a shade lighter than the lake before them, were clouded. There was so many negatives to fixate on, and the opportunity to harp on them only made things worse. But recognizing that she was letting herself slip into a less than favorable mood, she gave a small smile. "You know," she informed her companion, giving him a gentle nudge with her arm, "I don't think you're giving Jason enough credit. He couldn't be that bad."

[Baldur 0]

"I understand what you mean. This..." Baldur gestured to the world around them, "is probably the first chance I've had to breath in a while. I have been so busy training and pushing forward, doing everything I can to save as many lives as possible... that I forgot to breath for a while... and this walk has shown me that. Having a chance to enjoy just spending time with someone I like, and taking in the bits of beauty we can... for me it's akin to what you miss. Relaxing on the couch and just...be-ing." He turned his head to face her and smiled.

"It's really nice."

As they walked along, Baldur's eyes scanned the horizon and the mountains around them. His eyes could occasionally pick out mobs in the hills, but here along the edge of the frozen lake they were not bothered much.

"I don't mean to disparaged Jason, but he was always a work in progress, ya know? I didn't even intend to be not a good guy, but I had to learn how to actually be a good guy, and along the way, I did a lot of stupid stuff unintentionally... " Baldur's eyes grew distant for a moment and a smirk appeared on his face.

"I met this girl in college... well, she was really pretty, so I ended up staring at her an uncomfortable amount. So she ended up coming up to confront me about it. I apologized and was just honest. I said I thought she was really pretty, and I didn't mean to stare, and introduced myself as we ended up becoming friends... I guess when you're considered classically handsome you can get away with that... anyways, I ended up eventually getting to the point where I worked up the courage to ask her out... some cheesy line I used with the limited amount of Russian I can speak... she was flattered so we went on a date. Had a great time... but school was chaotic, and I got caught up in things and never called her back... such an idiot. So then, perhaps a year later, we end up getting back in touch and going on another date. Again, perfect, wonderful time. We even kiss several times. I'm ecstatic.  But I get busy, time goes by, and I'm so embarrassed I hadn't called her yet that I just... don't call her again."

Baldur blushed, and not from the cold. His steel eyes still distant, as if remembering a dream.

"I can only imagine what she thought of me." He gave a soft chuckle and let the thought hand in the air for a moment, "I was really such an idiot in school."

Baldur smirked at Lessa.

"But then, aren't all boys? It took me another decade before I think I finally became a man."

[Lessa 1]

Like a good friend should, Lessa listened in thoughtful silence while Baldur spoke. However, despite her best efforts, she could not keep the bemused smirk from curling her lips. By the end, she was nearly grinning at him. Perhaps it was inappropriate, and more than a little insensitive, but his short story had left her teetering on the edge of a fit of giggles.

"Baldur," she started, her blue eyes dancing as she leveled her gaze. "When you tell me that Jason wasn't a good guy, you've got me thinking of kicking puppies or stealing candy from babies." She gave an amused snort, her breath a small cloud that hovered on the frosty air. "If the worst thing that you did before this game was not call a girl back, you're far better off than you think." There was a sliver of discomfort, and a pang of regret, as she recognized that she was mocking something that seemed to truly fluster her friend. But the situation was also so ridiculous that she struggled to help herself. "Seriously, at this point, I don't think you're capable of any real trouble." Then, more shyly, "its something I like about you."

When he referenced the stupidity of boys, Lessa gave a small, non-committal shrug. "Most boys are, sure," she countered, "but I'd argue most girls are too. Or, at least, the ones I've met. And I'm no exception." Wondering if sharing a story of her own would ease any pain she might have caused, she forged ahead. "At least you had formal dates. It all sounds so grown-up, and mature. All I had were these really weird flings with my brothers' friends. I have three brothers, and they had a lot of friends, and we normally hung out together." Now her cheeks warmed. "It was nothing serious. Just stupid stuff. And it never amounted to much."

Her voice trailed, and her eyes widened, as if realizing something for the first time. "You know," she said suddenly, "I guess I've never thought of it before, but you do look like you're older than me." One hand rose, palm outstretched, in the universal sign for forgiveness. "Not old old," she backpedaled. "But older than me. So I guess more grown-up dates would make sense. I was only just settling into college before I got stuck here."

Edited November 18, 2016 by Lessa

[Baldur 0]

Baldur smiled and blushed a bit when Lessa commented on his harmlessness. It was true, that the worst he had done was treat people poorly, but it was something that he had tried very hard to grow out of. Since being trapped in SAO, it was like he had a new lease on life. Yes, it was a death game, but no one knew anything about him from the real world other than Tyger, and so he could almost reinvent himself. It was especially true now, since Tyger was... not around. He was making an effort to be the man he always wanted to be, and put a lot more thought into who that person would be. It wasn't something he could do in the real world, though he had tried that when he had moved to Japan. Old habits died hard, but in a whole new world, with new rules, that all changed. He, like his swords, were forged.

"I appreciate you saying that." he gave her a friendly smile as his blue faded and they continued to move along through the snow.

"I don't want to sound fatalistic, but I am glad that whatever becomes of this game... That someone whose opinion I value so highly, will regard me well, and who will carry on my memory should I be asked to make the ultimate sacrifice. It..." Baldur paused as he searched for the right words, "... it takes a weight off of my soul. Like it's nice to know that I am succeeding in a world where that can be hard to gauge."

When she told him that she hadn't been subject to a lot of formal dates, his brown eyebrows climbed slightly in surprise.

"Well... really... is sounds a lot more impressive in retrospect. I was mostly a shut in with only the occasional spurt of being social." he gave a slight laugh to play off the situation. He had always viewed his college life as being lonely and loveless, though he supposed maybe he had intentionally tried to ignore all the times he had been an idiot.

When she mentioned his age, his train of thought paused. He had always thought of Lessa being closer to him in age than most of the people he had met here, though as he turned to allow his steel blue eyes to survey her face, he realized that her appearance didn't reflect that. He had always had the problem of feeling like he was younger than he was; an ironic turn of events since when he had been younger he always associated more with people far older than him. If what she said was accurate, then he was quite a bit older than her, but she had the soul of someone beyond her years.

"Thanks... I think?" He gave her a playful smile, "I guess you must have an old soul. I always felt like you were more of a peer, but considering how long I was in college, I must be close to a half dozen or more years older than you. It's... hard for me to judge time, even before getting stuck in here."

"Is it strange that to me, you will always be that life-filled blond standing on a mountain top in the midst of a sunset? I mean, when we meet up in the 'real world' I feel like that, or seeing you napping under a tree on the first floor when we first met, will always be my strongest impression of you." he let out an awkward chuckle as he turned away and watched as the two wolves seemed to be having fun, bounding around in the snow and playing with one another.

"I'm not sure if that's comforting or not." Idly, he rubbed his jawline with the back of his hand as if he had imaginary stubble.

"That's all I had meant before... here, there is an amazing amount of self-determination. The system is ultimately the same for everyone, no advantage or disadvantage except what we bring ourselves. I feel like... trying to readjust to the outside world will be difficult. To get back to a 9 to 5 grind, and the somewhat... effervescent goal of being a wage worker. Being on the front line, fighting to save lives, I guess it's just more purpose than I ever felt in the outside."

[Lessa 1]

When she spoke, Lessa chose her words carefully. Each word was deliberate, a cautious attempt at relaying her thoughts without offending her friend. "It means a lot that you would place that sort of trust in me." How could she make him, and so many others, understand? The thought of carrying a name back to the real world, or finding someone's parents, terrified her. This task was only necessary if said individual fell victim to Aincrad's cruelties, and that was not something she particularly enjoyed dwelling on. Alkor had never instilled within her this responsibility, and for that, she was grateful. Perhaps it was selfish, but it had taken her a long while to come to terms with his death. If she carried it on her heart every day, that wound would never heal. As deep as her feelings for Baldur ran, she did not wish for such a thing to be placed upon her shoulders.

But the question remained - how to tell him this? Only moments earlier, she had let frustration add fire to her words, yet her outburst had done little to convince her companion. What other choice did she have? "I have carried weight for other people for a very long time," she started again, this time, her voice small and timid. "Your memory is going to remain, Baldur, no matter what." She blew out a sigh, and continued, "but I don't want to be your final request. I don't want to keep that, for however many more years we are trapped here." Every line in her expression hardened, and when she concluded, her voice had found strength. "I'd rather we just both stay alive, so we don't have to worry about that." She had left the door wide open for arguments, and excuses, and a variety of other "but we have to plan for"s. And maybe it had been wrong of her to say such things, but if there was anyone who she owed the entire truth to, it was the dark-haired boy who walked beside her.

"Anyway." With the familiar twinkle of chimes, Lessa called up her HUD. Quick, practiced flicks of her wrist allowed her to equip a pair of black, wool gloves. Once they were on, and her display hidden, she reached up to rub at the bridge of her nose. "I guess I don't mind being called mature. I was twenty when I came into the game. I guess that makes me," she paused, doing some mental math, "twenty-two maybe? Twenty-three? God, I guess I don't even know." A short, humorless laugh escaped her. "What I do know, though, is that I definitely missed my twenty-first birthday. That sucks."

When he continued to describe his impression of her, Lessa's shoulders rose and fell beneath her warm coat. "Life-filled blonde on a mountain, with a sunset." A wry smile twisted her lips, and she added, "sounds like the cover art for a bad romance novel. And I guess I never really considered myself any sort of larger-than-life figure. Honestly, I'm a little surprised you ever did." Pink crept across her cheeks, and her face softened when she spoke again. "Sleeping on the job, being scared shitless by an unsuspecting player, waving my sword around madly... yeah, that sounds more like me."

Her improved mood threatened to wane again when the conversation turned back his opinion of the game, but the girl did her best to keep from slipping backward. "I mean, sure, the game has its benefits. I've grown a lot as a person. But I would never want to stay. I would never wish this place on anyone. And if I could do it over again, I never would have put on the nerve gear. I'd have done everything in my power to stop others from doing so." With one gloved hand, she motioned over the lake. "Its a pretty Hell, but it is Hell nonetheless. I can't find it in my heart to value a game that has claimed so many lives, and ruined so many others."

Edited December 11, 2016 by Lessa

[Baldur 0]

Yes. If only it was simply our desire to stay alive that kept us so safe.

By now, Baldur could see that his words were bothering her. His words must have bothered her the last time they spoke on this subject as well, but the words were heavy on his heart, and he needed to share them with someone. He just hoped that Lessa could bare a little more burden, along with his name. He hadn't realized how difficult it was on her, asking her to remember him well. That, should he fall in spite of his best efforts and she survive, that she tell people he was noble in the end. That he had managed to somehow live up to his ideals. It was not why he did what he did, but it was some small comfort that should the worst finally happen, his family could know that their son, brother, uncle... that he was a man they could be proud of. That in the face of evil, in the face of death he stood up and fought for the freedom of others.

The freedom of others.

"I am not trying to laud this place. Perhaps I did put on the helmet because it seemed like my ideal fantasy world... but rather, the thought of going back to my old life? I'm not saying my life was bad, I'm saying the thought transitioning back to that old way of life is... more intimidating to me than risking my fighting against death. It's more of a japanese term, than a western one, but wage-slave could be just as appropriate. I was someone that was always chasing after the ideal of life, but there I was, sun-up to sun-down chasing a paycheck so that I could pursue some goal of retirement, so that in the twilight hours of my life I could enjoy the sunset."

Baldur's gaze was focused downward at the snow. He was pouring out his heart to her, he didn't know what words would come next, only that they were the very core of him.

"Is that life really so much better? Had I the choice of doing this over again... I don't know what I would choose."

He looked up at  her then, and there was fierceness in his eyes, "But no, I would never wish this sentence on anyone. I will fight, tooth and nail, to free you and everyone else trapped here. I will fight to get everyone out of here, and to make it out alive, because I know my family is crying for me right now. I know their hearts ache every day that I am in here, and I cannot let them bear that sadness when I can do something about it. So I will make sure we get free. I will fight with every ounce of skill that I have, I will save as many people as I can, and I will make sure that we get out of here the right way. I will fight in a way that brings honor to my family, and to who I am in here." Baldur thumped his chest.

"But should the worst happen to me as it has to others, the only consolation I can offer my family, is that they can be proud of me, and how I conducted myself. That when they look at my picture, they can know that I stood up, and spit in the eye of the devil, and made them proud."

He hadn't realized it, but a pair of tears had leaked out of the corner of his eyes. He didn't realize it until he had brushed them away. He was not one to shed tears, not even at the funerals of loved ones.

"I am sorry I have asked you to bear that for me, but I have no one else to ask it of. Not anymore..."

Baldur shook his head, clearing his thoughts and his tears as he gave a labored breath.

"I'm sorry Lessa, but I only have you."

[Lessa 1]

Lines of pain criss-crossed her face as Baldur spoke, her stomach knotting at the words. Were he given a second chance, he might still don the nerve gear? The mere thought of it made her a bit nauseous, but out of respect for her friend, she did not make that fact known. When she did speak, however, her voice was heavy with pent-up emotion. Her face also revealed such things, but in attempt to further disguise it, she kept her gaze on the path ahead.

"Of course the real world is better," she replied simply. "That's where our lives are. Our memories. Our childhoods. Our houses, and our pets, and our friends, and our families." The very notion that someone might sacrificed it all to stay in Aincrad baffled her, and for a reason she could not quite figure out, angered her as well. "Sure, we have jobs, and they can get repetitive. But we also have freedom. We have room to take risks. And we have a future." She threw her arms wide, exasperated. "This isn't a future. Time is passing, our bodies are getting older, but we're stuck. When we go back, we'll have to pick up where we left off. And the longer we stay here, the harder it will be."

"How could you possibly be alright with staying here?" she blazed ahead, all caution thrown to the frigid, arctic wind. "Maybe it's because you're older than me, and you're just jaded." The moment the words left her lips, she winced, regretting the choice immensely. She blew out the last of the breath she held, and added, "sorry, Baldur. I didn't mean that."

But she did. Some deep, dark part of her meant every word. What was he thinking? How could he have become so comfortable here? How could he have forgotten all the terrible things he had seen? When she dropped her gaze, she saw her hands, and noticed that they had clenched into fists at her side. Slowly, deliberately, she opened them, spread her fingers, and pressed her palms to her stomach. "I don't know," she mused aloud, her voice now soft and thick with uncertainty. Only then did she turn back to him, and see that his face was damp with tears that he had shed during his declaration. Her frown grew deeper. "I believe that you want to free us," she began hesitantly. "But I can't imagine staying. Thinking about it terrifies me. Getting out is what I think about every day. It is what I work for. It is all I want."

She watched him now, her eyes dry, but swimming with the same emotion that streaked down Baldur's flushed cheeks. "You have me," she assured him, but her voice was only a whisper. "But at what cost? We're trapped. We're prisoners. This isn't a life." Her jaw clenched and unclenched for a moment, as she fought to maintain her composure. "I sleep in the same inn every night. I fight the same monsters in the same fields. I work in the same shop. Am I not living that same repetitive life that you spoke of? But now, I do it alone. Sure, I see you occasionally, but who is with me for the other twenty three hours of the day? I live without my family, or my community, or anyone who can help me get through the hard stuff. And that is the worst fate I could ever think of."

Edited December 12, 2016 by Lessa

[Baldur 0]

"Life happens wherever we are, whether we want it to or not." The words were more powerful than he expected, though they weren't directed at Lessa, the emotion with which he spoke them made them appear to be. "The life you're running away from here, is the one I'm running away from out there. If you're doing it alone, that's a choice you're making. In order to keep going, I have surrounded myself with a new family, and a new community, and with you. Otherwise I wouldn't have the ability to push myself to the limit every day."

The tears were coming again, but he needed to get this out.

"And don't get me wrong. I am out there doing this for you. For Tyger. For those kids. For everyone in in the Town of Beginnings. I am seeking to destory the world I feel more comfortable in because I see the suffering it causes others, but I don't see the difference, other than that I feel like I belong here more. I have a life here. Friends that I never would have met elsewhere. Pets, friends, a family. I have friends and family out there too, and I fight to get out so that they don't have to live in fear of losing me, but to them they probably already have. It's been years, and they have learned to live in a world without me, with only a threadbare hope that someday we might pull ourselves out of here."

He shook his head and paused, turned away from her for a moment to wipe tears away from his eyes he didn't want her to see, though she already had.

"It breaks my heart, but just because we were comfortable out there, doesn't make the world any better, we just happen to live somewhere where the risk isn't to us. In the outside world, we're the people that never left the Town of Beginnings. It's incredibly selfish of me, but in this world, the goal is simple. It's right in front of me. And that lizard part of my brain chose fight instead of flight. I know, that in order to make the world a better place for you and everyone else, I have to clear the next boss. Get stronger, and clear the next boss. That kind of clarity gives me peace. But make no mistake... I will get you ou-" he hesitated for only a split second, almost imperceptibly," all out of here, and I will labor with every breath to do it."

He took another deep, ragged breath and turned to face her, all sign of tears gone.

"I know you hate it here. I will never excuse what Kayaba did. But I would be lying to you and to myself if I didn't admit that this world didn't draw me in and give me a clarity I couldn't find out there."

[Lessa 1]

"I'm not choosing to do this alone." The words exploded from her like water through a burst dam. Once they hung in the air, mingling with the steam of her warm breath, the embarrassment bloomed across her cheeks. Had she been thinking more clearly, she never would have admitted as much out loud. But it was the truth, wasn't it? With one hand rubbing at the back of her neck, Lessa fought to keep her gaze leveled on Baldur. "I mean, it would be nice to have more of a community here. I wish I had more people to talk to, more people to lean on. But I don't have that right now. Outside, I had no problem making friends, and surrounding myself with people. In the real world, I have so much family, so many friends. Here? I have you."

The hands that had been gesticulating wildly stilled, then dropped to her sides. "I have you, and I know that's better than nothing. I'm so, so grateful for you, but I can't depend on you for my happiness. I don't want to become your responsibility. I don't want to hold on too tightly, because there might be a time when you're not around, and then where would I be?" Her voice cracked, and so did she, with all the grace of a calving glacier. "I don't want to depend on you, Baldur, because I don't want you to know how weak I am. I don't want to be this weak. You are fighting so hard, for all of us. I want to be someone worthy of that fight."

---

Had she succeeded? Lessa stared out over the frozen terrain. The frigid wind sent shimmering snowflakes pinwheeling inches above the ground, and whipped her blonde hair into a tangled mess. Absently, she shoved it back with a gloved hand, only for it to tumble back into her flushed face. Even after so many years, the lake remained untouched, a pristine snow-globe that never ceased to amaze her. Some things never changed, and truthfully, Lessa took comfort in that fact. But some things did - she did - and she took comfort in that, too.

Lessa, and the woman who had stood in this same spot four years ago, had just as many differences as similarities. How would that conversation go now?

Quote

To: @Baldur

Hey you! If you're free, would you want to drop by the Frozen Lake on floor four? It's been a while, and it would be nice to catch up.

Let me know!

- Lessa

 

[Baldur 0]

The chime of a message pulled Baldur free of his thousand yard stare, and he swiped for the menu to appear as he held the fishing rod with his off hand. His toes caused slight ripples in the water as he shifted his seating position, and scared away any of the fish in his pond. The pool was so calm and clear that you could see the fish swimming about, but he loved to sit here on the engawa by the pond at his home on the 24th floor.

He smiled when the name <<Lessa>> showed up and he quickly opened up the message, read it, and then send her a reply that he would be here shortly.

---

A short time later, through the snow that was always falling on the 4th floor, the dark silhouette of Baldur became visible as he made his way to the frozen lake they had so often shared. There were probably more lakes on this floor, and it could have been anywhere on any of those lakes. But this was Lessa, and this was him, so it would be here. It was always here, as if this were their spot to get away from everything and to catch up.

As he saw the blonde warrior woman, his oldest friend on this floating castle, he couldn't help but smile. They had both been through a lot since the last time they had been here. They had been together since, but that was a quest, and while it had been fun, they hadn't really had a chance to just catch up.

"Ohayo, Lessa!" He called out to her, his voice muffled by the snow but still audible. His eyes scanned the snow, looking for Ryker as well, and he hid the small treat in his hand.

"Thanks for looking me up. I was beginning to feel a bit like an old man taking the day off to relax and fish a bit."

[Lessa 1]

His entrance was a dramatic one, even if he had not intended it that way. Something about Baldur simply commanded attention, and so simply showing up meant "making an entrance." In this instance, his blue and white haori seemed to simply materialize among the ever-shifting curtain of snow. Today, Mother Nature herself had contributed to his flashy arrival. Or, more appropriately, whoever had coded the weather on the fourth floor, had. Aincrad was tricky that way.

When his greeting reached her, the blonde broke into a grin. "Ohayo yourself," she responded, expression and words warm enough to melt the mounds of snow. Immediately, she noticed the way his glacier-blue eyes scanned the ground at her feet. Only after a quick laugh did she correct him. "Riker's actually not here today. He's back at Manderley. I told him we were going to the fourth floor, and he tried to climb under my couch." The blonde planted her hands on her hips, then shook her head slowly from side to side. "I’m sure he'll be disappointed that he missed you, and whatever snack I'd be willing to bet you brought him."

"Fishing, huh?" With a quick jerk of her head, she motioned toward the frozen lake. "I hope your spot isn't quite so frozen, unless ice fishing is more your speed these days." As soon as the words left her mouth, a sudden curiosity overcame her. "Come to think of it, can you ice fish? I honestly can't believe I've been here this long and never asked myself that."

She was rambling, and she knew it. Funny, how time with one of her oldest friends could bring out the more social side of her. Baldur had not exactly torn down the walls Lessa had built during her hermit years, but he had a fascinating way of simply phasing right through them. Her own personal Danny Phantom.

So rather than feeling embarrassed by the outpouring of words, she simply shifted to nudge him with her elbow. "Thank you for coming when I messaged you. I know we had that quest a while back, but it's still really, really nice to see you. I was hoping maybe we could just talk a bit, if that's okay." Finally pausing, she looked out over the spot they had visited together so many times. "Not really sure what possessed me to come back out here, but I figured it was only right that you be here, too."

[Baldur 0]

"Sometimes the more things change the more you want something old and familiar to remind you that the world will keep on spinning... not that that means you can make old jokes at my expense."

His blue eyes twinkled with mirth as he moved forward and embraced Lessa in a big warm familiar hug.

"And you never need to have a special reason to message me. You know I will always come when you need me."

Baldur cdid seem a little sad when Riker wasn't there to give his treat to, but the gaijin samurai just pocketted the treat for next time. The wind swirled around them and took the hem of his trademark haori and flapped it in the wind.

"I love this spot though now mostly because of all the time we've spent here together.  I used to come here for some soul searching but I haven't needed that in a while and I can still find some peace and quiet at my home now. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I had one again."

The old friend gave his one time mentor a warm and knowing smile.

"It looks like you've found yours as well."

Baldur was curious to find out what happened for Lessa to call him out here. Was there something she needed to tell him? Perhaps an announcement she needed to make. Whatever the reason he was just glad to have a moment to catch up. He gestured with one hand and then began to walk the familiar path around the lake.

 

[Lessa 1]

A soft "oh" escaped Lessa as Baldur tugged her in for an unexpected hug. Why had the gesture surprised her so much? Baldur had been one of the first in Aincrad to embrace her, so it shouldn't startle her now. Still, given the years that had rolled out between them, she found herself endlessly wondering where she stood with him. Based on the hug, nothing had changed. Why did she feel the need to overanalyze where he was concerned? Why did her brain insist on sabotaging something so genuine and simple as their friendship?

So the woman simply wrapped her arms around him and returned the hug. See? Simple.

Only once they had drawn apart again did she hit him with the lopsided grin. "Familiar and old does do a very nice job of describing you, though," she teased, despite Baldur's warning. "You know, if you decide to write an autobiography after we get out of here, you might consider it for a title."

At his comment, she tilted her head slightly, the expression going a bit sheepish. "Well," she began slowly, "the truth is that I didn't really need you, or need anything, for that matter. I just..." her voice trailed, and she rolled her hand in the air as if to catch the words amid the snowflakes. "Well, I guess I just wanted to let myself fall back into the past for a little while. There's so much happening right now, with the upcoming floor boss battle, and all of the changes in my life." Her hands plunged back into her pockets, and her gloved fingers toyed with the seam while she thought on it. "I'm happy with where things are at, definitely. So it's not that I want to go back to the past, I just want to..." she blew out a breath, and decided on, "remember it, I guess. I don't want to forget it. I like to remind myself of how far I've come."

In spite of herself, Lessa gave a quick laugh. "I'm just sentimental, I guess. Though I will admit, life was a little simpler when I just hid in the mountains and didn't interact with anyone."

[Baldur 0]

Baldur let some tension go when Lessa embraced him back. Not worry about her, but it had honestly just been a while since he had been hugged. He held a somewhat unique position in sword art online, upon reflection. Calrex, the strongest player and once highest level player in the game, was jokingly referred to as Baldur's kohai. Macradon, the highest level player, was a good friend of his. Baldur always seemed to blend in effortlessly with the people who were at a class higher than him. Baldur had also been to a lot of raids, and while there were players with more experience than he, few spoke up of their experience as much as Baldur did. It lent him an air of experience, and perhaps a bit of reverence, he didn't necessarily deserve. Between that, the length of time he had been present on the front, and his age, it set him a part from the others in a way that was difficult to nail down.

So it was just nice to be hugged.

 "Familiar and old does do a very nice job of describing you, though," she teased, despite Baldur's warning. "You know, if you decide to write an autobiography after we get out of here, you might consider it for a title." Lessa teased.

"Oof! You wound me!" But his eyes were bright with the laughter that bellowed from him.

She then went on as they walked about her sentimentality.

"Well, since I'm an old man, you can humor a story." his oceanic blue eyes sparkled. His normal steel blue grey eyes were the most common, but somehow Lessa always drew out the unguarded ocean blues.

He let them walk on for a moment, listening to the crunch of the snow under their feet, the wind through the trees, the faint background music of the game and it's beautiful, serene yet almost eeire piano music, and the peace and comfort of an old friend who he'd occasionally shoulder bump as they walked.

"When I was younger, and I went on my first backpacking trip through the alps, it was intimidating at the start. You stand at the starting camp, and you stare up at these mountains and think, 'It's going to take me forever to get there!' but then you hike, and before you know it, you're at the summit. The first thing you do is you look back to where you came from and you marvel at your achievement. Then you look at head, at the valley you have to cross, at the next highest mountain and you despair because it's so much further to go. But then you work at it, and days go by, and you get to the next summit. And the first thing you do? You look back at where you came from, and you marvel at the journey you just overcame, because only from the summit can you see the totality of the path that you walked to get there."

He checker her playfully with his shoulder.

"Now in this analogy I'm not the previous summit. I just walked with you for a ways. So now that we're at the summit, you and I can both look back an marvel at all the hard work, suffering, enduring, crying, and struggling we did to get here." The gaijin samurai gave her a lopsided smile, "And because I came along that hike with you, I can look back at who we once were, and marvel at the people we have become, because though off and on, we have struggled together."

The window blew again, tossing his dark bangs, and landing snowflakes in his hair and his stupidly long and perfect eyelashes.

"And because that's what old friends are for."

 

[Lessa 1]

They walked across the tundra together, the Empress and the Gaijin Samurai. Of course, they had known each other far before such titles came into being, and Lessa found that fact oddly comforting. Equally comforting was the gentle, rolling way with which he told his tale. It was far from monotone, but it also avoided being loud overly expressive, either. Somewhere in between, she decided. This was not a parent telling a child a story. Rather, this was a friend confiding in a friend. A mentor teaching a pupil. And once he had concluded sharing his memory, Lessa found herself oddly disappointed that it was over.

"I'm a little bummed that your story didn't start with 'when I was your age,'" she admitted on an overdramatic sigh. But when she grinned at him, she chased the comment away with a wave of her hand. "Your hiking trip sounds incredible. I'm not sure that I would have ever had the courage to tackle something like that, let alone the lung capacity. I'm sure it was one hell of a workout, but the view from the top was probably incredible."

Of course, the woman was dancing around the point Baldur had actually tried to make. Something about the profundity of the story caught her a little off-guard, and the words did not come to her as easily as they might have usually. "I'm glad you were on that hike with me," she finally blurted out, her mouth moving before her mind could comprehend. "I think we've probably seen a lot more valleys than summits over the years. And I know we didn't really walk with each other for a lot of it. But it's been comforting knowing that you were always a message away, even after all this time." The woman drew in a long, slow breath. Then she let it out, watching the steam rise steadily into the snowy air. "And I'm not sure I would have made it out of those really early valleys without your help. So... thanks."

[Baldur 0]

"I'm a little bummed that your story didn't start with 'when I was your age,'" Baldur gasped at Lessa in feigned outrageous disbelief, clutching at his non-existing pearls at the insinuation of his age. She was right. It had not often felt that way with Lessa, which was one of many reasons she occupied such a place in his heart. She was one of the few where it didn't feel like he was the lone adult in an army if iron blooded orphans. She was a fellow adult.

"Your hiking trip sounds incredible. I'm not sure that I would have ever had the courage to tackle something like that, let alone the lung capacity. I'm sure it was one hell of a workout, but the view from the top was probably incredible."

He chuckled. She didn't know how long and hard he had to train for that trip, and he still had oxygen problems. The locals, however, blew past him in the villages like it was nothing while Jason had struggled to walk up a single flight of stairs. It felt like they had a cheat code, and I was the only one without.

"I think we've probably seen a lot more valleys than summits over the years. And I know we didn't really walk with each other for a lot of it. But it's been comforting knowing that you were always a message away, even after all this time." The woman drew in a long, slow breath. Then she let it out, watching the steam rise steadily into the snowy air. "And I'm not sure I would have made it out of those really early valleys without your help. So... thanks."

The gaijin samurai waved away her concern and regret, but her thanks did touch him in a way often empty compliments did not. Lessa had earned her way into his heart, and as such, she saw a side of him that no one else did. She was the good friend who had a key that let them in the side door, instead of having to knock on the front.

"It's an old truism that the greatest friendships are ones that can survive years of limited contact and then pick up again like no time had passed at all. We've spent more time together over these past..." Baldur made a vague gesture with his hands, as if grasping for an ephemeral number, "years that I have with a lot of my family, and I've never fought to the death with them." He tapped his chin as he let the words linger in the air for a moment, "nor would I want to, really."

He gave her a playful smile and veered into her, giving her a soft shoulder bump on the snowy path.

"It may not seem like there have been a lot of summits, but we are hiking to the highest one we will ever see. When we look back upon our journey, from the 100th floor, so very, very far away now, we will look back on a valley of years, a trial of lifetimes." He smiled back at her reassuringly, "We will win. We will save as many lives as we can. And every life I save, will be because of help you gave me in the early days. And every player I help, will have your fingerprints on them as well. Hopefully they will also continue to pay it forward, and so my life will help more people than I ever would alone."

His smile suddenly became mischievous. 

"All because I decided to approach a blonde who was sleeping by a tree who didn't kill me."

"So tell me, Lessa-senpai. Tell me of the friendships you've made. Let's talk about the good for a while. My heart could use it too."

[Lessa 1]

As his body drifted into hers, she let out a quick laugh, and returned the gentle bump with one of her own. Then she simply settled in to listen to him speak. Baldur's words carried a certain weight that she had always found fascinating. The same sentences could come from anyone else's lips, but from his, they boomed like a general's rallying cry. He inspired her, excited her, and made her feel like she could accomplish anything. Those mountains he had talked about? After a Baldur-quality pep-talk, maybe she could climb them after all.

"You know," she cut in when he paused for a breath, "you give me way too much credit. I really didn't do all that much. Just helped you hack down a couple of weeds, and gave you a couple of pointers." She gestured to him, her hand swishing through the fat snowflakes that fell silently around them. "You're the one who went on to become this incredible fighter, with your own dojo, and people studying under you. Make sure you're taking pride in that, because accomplishing what you have in a place like this is really something." Her gaze, wide with the same admiration that wove through her words, caught and held his. "You know I'll always be happy for the little push I gave you, just to help you get moving. But I mean it. You're really amazing. I have no doubt that if anyone is going to be doing most of the saving, it's going to be you."

At his use of "senpai," Lessa felt warmth bloom in her chest. "I know I've said this before," she began, expression still soft with pleasure, "but I'm really glad I didn't kill you that day."

She spent the next few moments reminiscing with him, talking of her many attempts at running a guild, and the people she met along the way. Of her interactions with Alexander, her favorite NPC, and his family. Then, excitedly, of the horses she now visited almost daily. "It's been easier to find the good lately," she concluded. "It wasn't always that way. Thanks for being the good, when I could find any anywhere else."

[Baldur 0]

Baldur smiled as the spoke, but waved away her dismissal. The blonde was conveniently forgetting that she too, fit into a role akin to his for many many people, and he intended to remind her of it. While she may not have taught him to use a katana, she did save him often, through days like this, and walks like this, which meant so very much to him.

"I, too, am glad you didn't kill me that day." His ocean blue eyes sparkled.

"But you don't need a sword or to kill NPCs to save people. You don't have to teach someone how to kill to help them survive. You've saved me many times over, and you've taught me so much just by being my friend. Our love for one another has forged a bond between us. You give me strength through the lessons you have taught me, the example you have set, the kindness you show others, and by knowing that when the chips are down, I will have you in my corner."

He was watching his feet as he spoke the words, and but when he paused for a moment he glanced up at her from under his bangs to see how she was responding to them.

"What I needed wasn't help learning to fight. What I needed was a reminder to be kind to people, that we're all human -- well okay, most of us -- we all are trying to find our way, to get through the day, and that just because we're in a fight for our life doesn't mean life stops. You taught me to nurture people's growth, to seek out players lower level than myself and help find their path, as you did for me. I needed someone to see me for who I am. I needed someone I could confess to, that I could trust, and that wanted to see me succeed at a time when it felt like there wasn't anyone else."

He raised his head and flashed her one of his more confident smiles.

"And I will always be that person for you too."

"Now then." He said with a dramatic flare, "how do we figure out how to go horse back riding through the snow."