Sorry i need help

[Alejandro 0]

Im new and i need help from some one

[Hirru 0]

Hello, and welcome!

I'm your every day Hirru!

What is it that you are having trouble with?

[Alejandro 0]

Character approval  

[Hirru 0]

I'm not staff, but I've been here long enough to know what is wrong.  Your journal isn't fully complete, it still needs some revisions.  Here's what I can tell you:

• As a new player, you start out at level 1 (5 SP) without much experience in Aincrad, and basic gear (no enhancements).  Your bio suggests otherwise, which makes no sense.  We all started from somewhere, and had to do the same thing.
• Your character requires flaws to exist.  No one is perfect.

I'd say there are other things as well, but you'll have to consult with the staff member that is currently looking over your journal admission.  I'm sure he has sent you a PM about what you need to change, too.

[Alejandro 0]

Yeah but nvm im done with this 

See yah my freinds are geting a beating

Im going back to goodreads

[Alejandro 0]

Well see yah i give you a salute with two fingers XD

[Alejandro 0]

Heheh

[Alejandro 0]

There fixed it

[Husky 0]

Hello.

I can see that you've made this thread in order to sort out your journal problem. And by the look of your journals, I can tell that you have some problems. I'll be as useful as I can to help you sort out the situation.

But first, you must refer to the Rules for Journal creation found here

 

[Alejandro 0]

Can you help by speaking english 

Also i dont get this group 

[Husky 0]

Ah, sorry. I'm still learning English. It's not my primary language, and I've only started a few years ago, I believe... Either way, if it bothers you that much, I apologized for the mistakes along the way.

Also, which part of the forum don't you seemed to understand? I might be able to enlightened you with what I could provide.

[Alejandro 0]

The peragraphs

[Husky 0]

With the lack of details and information in your reply, I can't really tell what you're looking for. I'll only assumed that you mean 1-2 paragraph length standards that the Rules and Guides has set.

It's pretty much what they meant. You need at least 1-2 paragraph about your character's background information. All character need to start at somewhere. Also, the rules hasn't clearly mention it, but you couldn't start your character off on the top. Everyone must start at the bottom floor (in this case, level 1) and you must work your way up to the top through hard works and persistence. 

[Alejandro 0]

Really i fix tomarrow one more time

[Baldur 0]

4 hours ago, Husky said:

Ah, sorry. I'm still learning English. It's not my primary language, and I've only started a few years ago, I believe... Either way, if it bothers you that much, I apologized for the mistakes along the way.

Also, which part of the forum don't you seemed to understand? I might be able to enlightened you with what I could provide.

Your English is excellent Husky :)

[Alejandro 0]

is this good

 

 Name: sushui yukkia

age: 16 Years old

hieght: 6:9

gender: male 

history: Was a orphan since he was 3 months old, because his mom died of giving birth to him and his dad died in a car crash. He got adoptive into a family that hit him and hurt him for no being a orphan, so he hated them for that. He went to school and got bullied there for having his eyes different colors and because they made fun of him, he covered one of his eyes even thou it didn't do anything to stop them and they also made fun of him being a orphan and about his religion and his race. so he ended up being a student that got into trouble all the time,  but when he was a sophomore in high school he dreamed about running away until he found out about Sword Art Online a vrmmo game. He was level one but was part of the assault team when they first fought the floor one boss.

personality: He has a dark personality because hes been hurt so many times by his girlfriend family and also so called "friends". but now that he has been hurt he was part of the laughing coffin but never was able to stick with it after escaping the assault teams arrest he only escaped because he was a spy for the assault team. He still is like a dark figure on the front lines but he does have a fun happy side to him after seeing his team mates on the assault team having fun together. but then remembers the fun times at his home and that is what makes him fight on.

virtues:  a sweet talker at times and does not hesitate to harm others that try to do harm against people. he tends to try to stay away from girls mostly because he ends up getting them to fall for him which he doesn't like and the bad thing about it is he doesn't know how to say no to females. Also he tends to wait and watch the enemy movements before he strikes he has a special move that can kill a person in 8 swings of his Excalibur. and he also doesn't hesitate to kill anyone. 

personality:  Is a serous type of person when it comes to protecting someone because there were some people in his life that protected him so by protecting others in this game he feels like he is paying the other ones back.

flaws: He cant kill anyone without a good reason and always blames himself for the deaths of others and because he's a solo player its his biggest disadvantage

Profession: loves fishing and weapon collecting.

[Anemone 0]

You need 3 virtues and 3 flaws. This mandatory, not an option, when you are creating a character journal. And each one should explain why your character has these traits. Look at other profiles, and read the tutorials.

[Alejandro 0]

i did already 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Alejandro 0]

 Name: sushui yukkia

age: 16 Years old

height: 6:9

gender: male 

history: Was a orphan since he was 3 months old, because his mom died of giving birth to him and his dad died in a car crash. He got adoptive into a family that hit him and hurt him for no being a orphan, so he hated them for that. He went to school and got bullied there for having his eyes different colors and because they made fun of him, he covered one of his eyes even thou it didn't do anything to stop them and they also made fun of him being a orphan and about his religion and his race. so he ended up being a student that got into trouble all the time,  but when he was a sophomore in high school he dreamed about running away until he found out about Sword Art Online a vrmmo game. He is level one but was part of the assault team when they first fought the floor one boss.

Weapons: simple blade no shield

personality: He has a dark personality because hes been hurt so many times by his girlfriend family and also so called "friends". but now that he has been hurt he was part of the laughing coffin but never was able to stick with it after escaping the assault teams arrest he only escaped because he was a spy for the assault team. He still is like a dark figure on the front lines but he does have a fun happy side to him after seeing his team mates on the assault team having fun together. but then remembers the fun times at his home and that is what makes him fight on.

virtues: 

1: he is a sweet talker at times and does not hesitate to harm others that try to do harm against people. he tends to try to stay away from girls mostly because he ends up getting them to fall for him which he doesn't like and the bad thing about it is he doesn't know how to say no to females. Also he tends to wait and watch the enemy movements before he strikes he has a special move that can kill a person in 8 swings of his Excalibur. and he also doesn't hesitate to kill anyone. 

2: he Is a serous type of person when it comes to protecting someone because there were some people in his life that protected him so by protecting others in this game he feels like he is paying the other ones back.

3: he is also a funny guy at times because he has a dark personality someone always is able to put a smile on him, which makes him crack out a lot of jokes.

 flaws: 1 He cant kill anyone without a good reason and 2 always blames himself for the deaths of others which leaves him a easy target for attackers to attack and  3 because he's a solo player its his biggest disadvantage which means people can ambush him and kill him quickly.  

Profession: loves fishing and weapon collecting.

[Takao 0]

Welcome to SAO-RPG!

I noticed a few others had tried to help you, so I figured I'd throw in my own advice and let you know what you need to do to get approved.

Firstly, I noticed you added that your character was part of the first floor boss raid. Unfortunately, this was done on-site and has a thread that can be read and referenced. Because this isn't solely a story point, we can't allow you to have a character that wasn't part of it. He could claim he was, surely, but he cannot have historically been there, as he wasn't in the thread.

Secondly, your flaws and virtues need to have 3 traits each, and be a minimum of three developed sentences each. A developed sentence is admittedly a little vague, but I would recommend trying to write anywhere from 15-20 words per sentence, if we're quantifying it in a literal sense. Here's an exceptional example of what we might look for in a flaws(or virtues) field of the journal:

Quote

Flaws:

Stoic: While she has grown braver, powerful, and cultivated a strong will, Teion's time in Aincrad has taken its toll on her mentally. She sees herself as a warrior, whose only purpose now is to fight. She won't go out of her way to create friendships, mainly out of fear or insecurity of them waning away just as the others have. Instead, she puts on a strong persona--one she now feels very comfortable in.

Jaded: While not completely, Teion has grown desensitized to everyday life in Aincrad. At first, her outlook was much more positive, greeting each day with a smile. Nowadays she just keeps pressing forward out of necessity, working towards a far-off goal. There are still plenty of things that get to her, but her innocence has faded over time.

Inarticulate: In the event that Teion would speak open and honestly with someone, she does not have (and never has had) a way with words. In a fit of anger, she would likely say something she didn't mean. If she began to cry, she would probably crumble to her knees. Since she's very aware of this, she tries her hardest not to let her innermost feelings show.

Also, as a side note, you're missing the skills portion of the journal. You're given 5 SP to start with as a Level 1 character, which is enough to achieve Rank 1 in a single skill. Most people choose a weapon skill, but you're free to put those 5 points wherever you like!

If you're confused or need some other examples, I'd recommend taking a look at some other journals that have been approved. It's a good way to get an idea of what we look for before granting approval.