[PP-F1] Floods of Emotion (Itzal)

[Kasier 0]

It had been a dreadful guild meeting, a meeting that had struck a spot in everyone who had attended it. The death of one of the most well-known players on this game had brought everyone's head and spirit down in unison. It was almost as if everyone had lost some bit of hope within them the moment that the truth had come flooding out of the gates like water pouring out after being restrained for a long time. While Kasier had not been as affected, it was obvious that Itzal had been affected most by the passing of his blonde guild mate and comrade, Beatbox, who had been a personal friend that meant a lot to him. It was a shame that Kasier had not been able to take Itzal to a private room for him to calm down and clear his mind as he was needed in the actual meeting, but there was no way she would let Itzal go off on his own without talking to him about recent events first. Also, she wanted to make sure that Itzal doesn't do anything stupid out of anger and without logic. Indeed, the responsibility of this would fall on her, the most insignificant player in the entire guild - yet, she would prove to be one of the most significant characters in Itzal's life.

Kasier tugged Itzal's shirt, getting his attention before whispering to him that they should leave as soon as the guild meeting had come to a conclusion. She allowed him to get up on his own and walk without assistance for him to keep his dignity before she finally held onto him once they were far away from the guild hall that held so many bad memories that had been created by the meeting. "Alright, let's go to my shop on the first floor. We should talk about some things." Kasier exclaimed, walking close to Itzal in case he passed out or anything of the sort. If Kasier was not sure of Itzal's willpower and strength, Kasier would've definitely helped him the whole way, but she knew that Itzal would be able to walk on his own despite the news of tragedy that he had just received. 

Soon enough, Kasier opened the door to her dusty shop before walking upstairs into the single room that she had in her shop with a basic bed and nothing else. It was a basic room with pretty much no furniture, but it would definitely do for a good conversation on the bed. Kasier motioned for Itzal to sit down before sitting down next to him, remaining silent and preparing herself for anything that Itzal might say or pour out. "Alright. We're alone."

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

A maelstrom of emotions with no thoughts in his mind.  That was the most accurate description of Itzal at the moment, and even then it wasn't accurate.  Two emotions swirled strongly in him, these being sorrow and hate.  Itzal felt that he had known Beatbox the best out of everyone in the guild.  It was he who had spoken to him, bringing him out of his broken state and giving being with others another shot.  It was Beatbox he had knocked multiple quests out with, other than Jonathan of course.  They argued but they also had many good chats.  From being the star of Aincrad with his cute little fox, to being an incredibly powerful front liner whose accuracy was without equal.  And now...  He was dead.  If it weren't for Kasier he may not have left the guild hall and just collapsed in the nearby room.  It was a good thing she had taken him out though.  While he didn't see it due to his eyes being closed, a message popped up in front of him stating how in twenty four hours the system would be updating and his house and the guild hall would be gone and their col returned.  Itzal wouldn't mind it too much as it gave him an excuse to go out and level grind.  For a purpose he didn't want to worry Kasier with.  He suspected that she'd be suspecting what he may be thinking, so he had to be careful.  What killed him was, he didn't want to lie to her.  Not now and not ever.  At the same time he doubted she'd let him go through with this.

He heard Kasier mention something about her shop and opened his eyes at last, noticing they were on the first floor.  He watched through his half opened eyes as they made their way through the floor towards the shop he recalled going to for a few LD enhancements once or twice, before she closed it for good.  They stepped inside but he didn't notice any of the dust or anything.  She sat down on the bed, having him sit beside her.  Even though she told him that they were alone he sat there in silence for a little while, a tear or two slipping down his cheek silently as he shook.  "....He's dead....Beatbox....He's dead...."  He was convincing himself, not her.  And as he said this his tears flowed more steadily before he began to break into an unstable stream of tears and cries.  He couldn't say anything.  He put his head into his hands as he leaned against his legs, though he may collapse even with the supports.

Right now, Sorrow was winning as the most dominant emotion.  @Kasier

[Kasier 0]

Kasier watched as Itzal cried, and cried, releasing his tears and bringing upon a flood of emotions that washed over his face. He was shaking, a clear human response to shock and disbelief, and Kasier could see exactly why he was feeling this way. Humans are amongst all the mammals of the earth, the most brilliant, complex, and intelligent creatures. We have the capability of memorizing billions of facts, create formulas, and communicate with one another to survive. In ancient times, we were able to use our minds and teamwork to hunt down creatures faster and stronger than us. Our minds are complex beings, a figure that is not to be reckoned with - a figure that still remains to be discovered for each individual. It is, after all, the source of who we are. However, such intelligence comes with a cost - emotions. We feel more emotions than other creatures, at times, this might become an obstacle. Stupidity and unreasonable thinking is a result of such emotions. With the amygdala fully at work, emotions might block out reasonable thinking, leading to unfortunate events that might be caused at the spur of a moment. That is why it is essential for Itzal to calm down, and that is what Kasier will try to do.

However, it was quite awkward for her. She wanted to comfort him, but she had no idea what she should do to do so due to her occasional social awkwardness. She had never felt what she was feeling before, as if a weight of pressure was pressed upon her back, waiting to be released, but blocking her range of movement. So she simply sat there for a while, hoping that Itzal would stop crying and think over it. It was then that he repeated "he's dead" several times, at which Kasier was finally driven to do something. Sitting next to him, she wrapped her right arm around him, gently placing it on his right shoulder while positioning her face so it was next to Itzal's. "Itzal..." Kasier began before stopping and taking a deep breath. "I know that Beatbox was one of your best friends, if not your best friend, but death like this will happen, and there's nothing we can do about it. He made a choice without going to anyone else and asking for advice, which is why he passed away, unfortunately." Kasier paused, "Itzal. No one wants to see you like this. I feel as if my heart was smashed by a hammer when I saw you shed tears like this. You are a strong man, Itzal... And there are people out there who needs you. Please don't let this impact you that much. Is there anyway I can help? Do you want to go somewhere?"

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

There was quite a bit of silence while Itzal grieved.  No response from Kasier as he cried, though he didn't expect much physical response to this.  He needed her presence because he knew that although she wasn't very good at communicating her feelings and thoughts, she cared about those around her.  While he would have liked a hug or encouragement, he was content if she didn't.  Kasier was extraordinarily kind, and very thoughtful of others, though it didn't seem like it at times.  In fact, sometimes Kasier could appear cold, even though she really wasn't.  The reasoning for all of this was that she was sort of an introvert.  She only expressed herself and spoke freely to Itzal, or sometimes when Itzal was around.  However whenever she was with others she would close up.  Hide her emotions from the rest of the world, and speak very direct and bluntly, which can at times come across as cold to others.  Regardless of this however, Itzal had become rather proficient at knowing what she was feeling or thinking behind her social mask.  At the moment however, he was a bit distracted.

It was then Kasier spoke, saying his name.  When he heard her speak he took a sharp breath inwards before calming himself down enough to listen to her words clearly.  She spoke of how Beat was one of, if not his best friend, and reminding him that death like this can and will happen.  That there is nothing they could do about it.  She shared how he had made a decision, a choice, without asking for any advice, which was the reason he was gone.  Itzal was silent during the pause, his tears still sliding down his face.  He knew all of this...  He knew death happened and he knew that Beat should have consulted with them first.  They could have worked together after all.  She continued however.  She told him how nobody wanted to see him in the state he currently was, and described the pain she felt seeing him in tears like this.  She told him that he was strong and that there were people who needed him.  Asking him to not let this impact him to the magnatude it was currently, and asking how she could help.  He was silent for a while.  "I...I'm so sorry Jenna...  I'm sorry, I didn't realize how I, how this, would effect you..  I..  Yeah, actually..  There is somewhere, if you wouldn't mind..."  He pulled himself off and sat upright, wiping his tears as quickly as he could so he didn't appear to be such a wreck.  "I'm sorry........Um, so..  There's a flower meadow, out near the center of the floor...  Is it, alright if we went there?"

@Kasier

[Kasier 0]

Kasier watched quietly as it seemed that her words managed to find its way into Itzal's ears and into his brain. She realized that this was the first time in forever that not only was Itzal having such emotions, but she was having emotions as well. For the first time, she wanted to tear off her mask, not for herself, but for the one that she loved most... The mask that had hidden away who she was from the beginning, but also the mask which had taken her thus far. Her seriousness in public, her lack of affection for others, her attempts to teach lower-leveled players through unusual ways... All of those from the mask that she had covered herself with from the death of Helios, who killed himself despite how happy he was, and how happy she was around him at that moment.

No, she would not let another incident like that happen. She was determined not to have that happen. It was the first time in what seemed like forever that she wanted to tear the invisible mask from her face, but even so, she could not tear it from her face completely. It would remain... traces of the mask that had stayed with her all this time. She wouldn't want it to go completely. After all, it was the mask that she had stayed with all this time, and it was the mask that had kept her alive through tough times and through difficulties. "Alright," Kasier exclaimed, "Do you need help getting up?" She asked, not knowing whether Itzal wanted to be seen being supported in public. Her thoughts would be for another time. Her mask would continue to slowly disappear, and during the mean time, she would  just letit happen, knowing that whatever happens, it would not disappear forever.

Soon, she found herself sitting next to Itzal on the flower fields of the first floor. Like usual, it was beautiful, but anything is only as beautiful as one made it out to be. Kasier remembered all the times before she had met Itzal when he had made her beautiful, and now it was time for Kasier to repay him. "So, are you feeling better now?" Kasier asked without the serious deeper voice that she used in public, but one of true caring.

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

Itzal heard her acknowledge and agree with him and thus he started to move.  When she asked him if he needed help getting up, all he did was take her hand.  He had a grip, but it wasn't too tight or firm.  More like the caring, loving type of grip.  Not at all hostile or aggressive or painful, but rather a sense of longing.  Even though he was toughening up, he still needed someone there for him.  Holding her hand like this washed away his pain, keeping it at bay.  To know that even though his good friend was gone, he still had someone whom was very close to him.  Closer even.  If he lost Kasier, well.  He didn't know what he'd do if he was honest.  He recalled the boss's words in his mind.  The words of multiple bosses who had spoken to him regarding his issue:  when the time comes, you'll snap.  And the world will see you for who you truly are.  He knew that his anger wasn't what he truly was, but..  It was a part of him.  He hated it but it was true.  He was nothing more than a mess trying to help others in order to feel better.  As if helping others would help himself in where it counted.  He stood up nonetheless, and walked with Kasier towards the meadow.

When they were among the flowers he slowed his pace until they arrived at some purple flowers.  The same flowers his sister loved more than anything.  He was silent for a moment as he looked at them, bending in the wind.  What was his sister thinking right now?  Was she staying strong or was she falling apart at his absence, and possible death?  What was going to happen to her?  Would she try living her life or was she stuck in time, worried sick about him.  When Kasier asked him if he was alright, he smiled sadly.  He was never good at hiding the truth.  "If I'm honest, not really.  I just lost a close friend to the void.  I've never lost someone I personally knew before.  Save for my parents, but I've had time to move past that..."  He turned to Kasier.  While his smile was sad, hope remained in his eyes.  "But..  If I'm being honest here, I think he'd call me a fool hearted idiot for crying over him and yell something about moving on with my life."  Velnia flew over to Kasier's shoulder and rested there.

"...Hey Jenna..  Do you think, people on the outside are watching us?  As if we were livestreaming?"

@Kasier

[Kasier 0]

Kasier placed her hands on top of Itzal's as she sat closer to him, offering him the sense of... well, anything he needed at that moment. This was the weakest that Kasier had ever seen Itzal in, and it sort of opened her eyes. Itzal had always been so strong, so strong-willed in her eyes... always willing to help others, which was what she loved about him, but she had never seen a weaker side of him, a side that ultimately made Kasier love him even more for his imperfection. She felt bad for feeling this way, but for the first time, she felt like Itzal truly needed her to be a part of his life. For the first time, she felt like she could actually do something to help him, not through battle of course, since she would never reach his level, but through actual communication and affection. Kasier listened as Itzal talked about how he has never lost anyone personal, except for his parents, and Kasier was about to ask him what happened when she realized that that would not have been the best option at the current moment. Save it for another time, She thought to herself.

"Well, I know what it feels to lose someone precious to you. I actually didn't enter this game by myself. I lost the three best friends that I came into the game with within the first week of being trapped in this game... I should've died as well, being the weakest amongst them, but they sacrificed themselves for me. So what do I do? I go into my hotel room, cried there for a month, and then find the courage to come out once more," Kasier exclaimed, shifting her attention to the sky. "But then, one of my dearest friends, Helios, jumped off and killed himself. That sort of sealed a deal for me. That I am to become strong, and help the front lines to defeat all the bosses as quickly as possible. Well, really hasn't worked much. Since I haven't progressed at all. Death is so frequent in this game, that I put on a mask to not associate myself with anyone. This way, I will only feel a tickle in my heart, not a pain if someone dies. And I'm sure Beatbox will probably tell you to move on as well, he's definitely up there, looking at you and the progress in this world," Kasier said, and then chuckled, "Maybe if you concentrate hard enough, you can hear him talking to you from up there."

Then Kasier was asked a strange question: whether people on the outside could see the players on the inside. "Well, I'm not sure. But if they could, I'm sure my parents would be looking at me right now, yelling at the screen for me to get into the safe zone even though they are proud of the strong boyfriend that their daughter managed to get her hands on. What about you, Felix? Do you think your family is watching us right now?"

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

Itzal listened as Kasier told him about the people she had lost.  That she had lost three of her best friends within the very first week of the game.  One of the first two thousand players to be killed by the system.  And what was worse, at least for Kasier, was that they had sacrificed themselves in order to protect Kasier, who claimed to be the weakest among them.  She had to watch them die as they protected her.  Itzal couldn't imagine what that must have been like.  Or rather, he could.  His parents didn't want the murderer to kill him, so they did their best.  It was futile really, but the point was there.  She mentioned how she cried for an entire month before she managed to head out again in an attempt to succeed and do something.  Her story continued as she looked upward, mentioning how a very close friend of hers had committed suicide.  Here Itzal closed his eyes.  People who kill themselves for whatever reason never truly realize the pain they cause those around them.  To see someone take their own life...  It changes you.  Now Itzal understood.  Now he knew what had changed her from such a joyful, and positive person, into someone who wore a mask.  Attempting to seem cold and calculative to the outside world...  It didn't matter though because Itzal knew the truth now.  She was trying to protect herself.  And now she was ending up protecting Itzal.  And that felt right somehow.  In fact he welcomed the need to rely on someone.  Especially the woman he had fallen in love with.

He didn't cry.  He didn't break down.  He knew she wouldn't want him to feel sorry for her.  However he did nothing to hide the pain in his eyes from hearing this.  He continued to listen to her as she explained that while it wasn't working out too well, it was her goal to become strong and join the frontlines.  She agreed that Beat would have told Itzal to move forward and was watching his progress in this digital realm.  She joked about hearing him and a light grin came to his face as he imagined Beatbox yelling at him during a boss battle, telling him to stop analyzing and just hit the d**n thing.  When she heard his question she essentially replied with if they could they'd be telling her to run for safety....  but proud of her boyfriend, him, and how he was strong.  He blushed as he doubted he was strong.  He couldn't even deal a great amount of damage against bosses.  Then she asked him if he had any family.  He smiled softly as he turned to the verbana flowers again.  "Yeah.  If they could I doubt they'd take their eyes off of me.  My parents would most likely be terrified to see me charge towards danger the way I do, but I think they'd eventually shift to an encouraging state rather than fear.  Especially my adopted father.  He's a police officer.  My sister, I'm not really sure.  She's never faced a situation like this, I'm not sure how she'd react.  Although, I'm pretty sure she started smiling the instant we met."  He smiled towards Kasier now, doing his best not to show any sorrow through tears.  He pulled out an item from his inventory.  It was an artisan made bracelet using strong materials and purple verbana flowers.  "I keep this to remind me of my sister.  Purple Verbana flowers were her favorite.  I forgot her the first two months.  I refuse to forget my family again.  I refuse to forget what I'm fighting for."

@Kasier

[Kasier 0]

Kasier smiled as Itzal began talking about his family. It was good for her to get distracted by his own memories and the rememberance of his own family, because only through becoming lost in one's memories can one truly forget about the present. And Kasier really thought that Itzal needed to forget about the stress and worries that she was having at that moment. Kasier sighed, taking in what Itzal had to say and putting herself in a world of memories as well, as she began to remember certain details in the past. "Your sister huh? Well, I might not have met her before, but I'm sure I know exactly what she's like if she hasn't changed. You did say at one point that I resembled her. That was far back... back when we first met. That was back when I was still my old self." Kasier smiled, remembering the Kasier that would've probably died if she hasn't transformed and changed her ways. "Back when I was innocent. I didn't think much of it, but when we first met, it was around here as well, right. Near the flower fields where I jumped all over the place, enjoying the scenes. Times has definitely changed... back then, it was just me, my innocence, and the rest of the world. And then it all changed." Kasier smiled. Although the suicide of one of her closest friends was a drastic event, it had changed Kasier for the better, and she had to thank him for that, even though he sacrificed his life for it to happen.

She sighed, opening her menu and pulling out two "ancient Chinese teas" that she made at her cafe a while back. Luckily, food doesn't exactly expire in this game. She looked at Itzal and offered him a cup, "Want some?" Kasier smiled, "Purple verbena flowers. Well, it sure doesn't seem like you forgot her. Since Velnia is always there to remind you of the purple that she loved so much. I'm looking forwards to meeting her once we get out of this game and get you back to your family." Kasier said, yet with a glance of sadness towards the sky. For some strange reason, she recently had a feeling that she would die in this game, although it was just intuition. Just a bad feeling, she often told herself.

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

Jenna seemed to be enjoying this conversation so far, so at least he wasn't screwing this up.  No, no, he needed to be optimistic here.  Being negative could get his emotions running again, and he promised Jenna he'd stay strong.  It seemed that Beatbox' death was going to be harder to get over than he originally thought.  He'd be able to move on at some point, but right now it was hard.  He needed to focus on his own family and his..  Fiancé.  He was still getting used to the word, he never ever thought he'd be saying that.  Mentally or out loud.  He smiled when he thought about what he did have rather than what he was missing now.  Then Jenna spoke up.  She mentioned that, while they never met before, or even knew that the other existed before she met Itzal.  She most likely knew her if she hadn't changed since he told Jenna she resembled his sister.  It was a while ago, before Jenna had changed.  He nodded as he knew what she was referring to and smiled as she did.  She mentioned how she was innocent back then, and how when they first met it was right around here in the flower fields.  As she described herself jumping around through the fields he chuckled lightly but remained silent as she continued.  She finished by stating how it was her, her innocence and the world before it all changed.  Itzal lay down in the flowers with a smile.  "You reminded me to just lie down and enjoy the world we're in.  Remember?  I'd been grinding way too often before you came along."

Not long after that he smelled something and opened his eyes, spotting the cup.  He heard Kasier ask him if he'd like some and he nodded, pushing himself back to a sitting position.  He held it there, waiting for it to cool before taking the first sip.  He never really cared for tea, but there was something about the way Jenna made it that Itzal couldn't resist.  He could feel his nerves and muscles relax as well and it would be very visible.  He listened to Kasier mention how there wasn't any way he could forget his family with all the purple everywhere and he couldn't help chuckling to that.  He nodded with a firm smile when she mentioned meeting his family.  "And I look forward to meeting your parents as well Jenna.  Don't worry, we'll make it out of this world no doubt."

@Kasier

[Kasier 0]

Kasier felt less tension in the air as Itzal appeared to become more relaxed and calm. His tears had dried up a bit, it seemed, which was a sign of relief for Kasier. Every minute that she had to spend looking at Itzal's sad, crying face was a minute that she felt terrible with herself. At this point, it seemed like Itzal was so influential to her that his emotions basically transferred to herself. There's a common saying that smiles are infectious, but so are tears and frowns - perhaps a bit too much. Kasier sighed, relaxing herself and taking a sip of the tea that she had made for the occasion. "Yeah, I remember that time. I also remember that you had a few occasion anger outbursts, with that other personality of yours. That was a while ago. I guess it's good to better yourself, but going way overboard is not healthy, and eventually fuel will run out. Sometimes, you have to look at the small things in life, like the petals of the flowers, the color of the sky, heck, even the uniqueness of the mobs. They are a beauty as well, until they kill people. Oh, and the face of your lover." Kasier joked at the last part, attempting to carry out the conversation to end any sort of awkwardness that might find its way due to Kasier's inexperience in dealing with situations like this.

"Yeah, that's right. We better both make out of this world alive, so you make sure that you don't get into situations where you'll die, got that?" Kasier asked for a confirmation one last time so Itzal won't do anything stupid. Kasier knew that Itzal was strong in his own way, but no matter how strong he is, he is probably no where near the player that killed Beatbox. Beatbox was one of the strongest players when he passed away, so it was probably extremely dangerous for Itzal if he did engage right now. All Kasier could hope was he didn't do anything too out of the question.

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

Itzal had no idea how much effect he had on Jenna.  All he knew was how he felt, and how strong he knew Jenna was.  Even now he didn't understand the intensity of the effect the had on her.  But if he was serious about going through with marriage then he needed to ensure he'd stay strong for her and be there when she needed him.  Regardless of the situation he knew.  At any rate he'd be needing a day or two to meditate and think about this, and where he wanted to be.  What he didn't realize was that he'd be gaining far more than just a day or two.  This however was not going to start until a good ways after his wedding.  Something was coming, or rather someone.  And when it hit, the question was whether or not he'd recover.  Despite this and despite his lack of knowledge of the future, every time he looked at or to Jenna, his heart warmed and a smile always made it's way to his face.  He chuckled with a blush as he recalled that and rubbed the back of his head.  "Yeah..  Sorry about those.  Ulises and I clashed once or twice but eventually got past our differences.  I remember he used to always talk about you, rather consistently too.  I miss him sometimes.."  When she joked with him he gave a light laugh.  "I think my fiancée would be near the very top of that list don't you think?"  He said with a smile.

When she told home that they would make it out of this world alive, and to make sure he avoided situations where he'd die.  He nodded firmly.  "I swear that I will not allow myself to be careless and reckless to the point of endangering myself.  You don't have to worry about my dying on you Jenna.  I promise."

@Kasier

[Kasier 0]

Kasier giggled, "Ulises used to talk about me? I wonder what types of things he said about me. Probably not that good considering who he was, and how I was." Kasier looked around, finally finding herself relaxed and chilled after having that conversation and getting assurance that Itzal won't do anything stupid like go kill himself by seeking revenge for Beatbox. Well, although Kasier wasn't sure what Itzal would do in the long run, she was very relieved that she managed to talk some sense into Itzal and it is most likely that he won't go do something stupid any time soon... Not when Kasier especially asked him not to do such things.

"Fiancée..." Kasier felt a slight blush as she was reminded that they were to marry pretty soon. They had already made the plans to do so, and it wouldn't be far until they finally get everything sorted out so they can finally get married. She didn't know exactly when, but she knew that right now, Itzal was probably not even thinking about the marriage. He would be too absorbed into this whole drama involving Beatbox and the front lines. At the moment, he's probably way too busy with everything, being a crucial member of the front lines as well as a player who goes around helping others during free time as well. Kasier wouldn't even dare to ask Itzal to spend free time with her, not when progress in floor leveling was going so slow. Kasier was only a heavy weight at the moment, until she too becomes as strong as Itzal so she can support players during boss raids without worrying about dying. "... Yeah, I guess so. It's kind of weird. I would've never expected to be called that so soon in my life's journey. But I'm happy, especially since the fiance is Felix, the beacon of hope. Where did you get that title from anyway?"

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

"Actually it's the opposite of what you think,"  Itzal said with a chuckle, as well as a slight blush.  "He kept pushing and urging me to just get with you already.  He told me that if anyone was right for me you were.  And the day he vanished, he demanded that I never let you leave my side, nor I leave yours."  He chuckled at the last bit, and while he did miss Ulises, he knew he was always a part of Itzal.  He just didn't hear his words directly anymore.  At any rate Jenna seemed more relaxed now than before which he was happy about.  Even if he was in pain, he cared about Jenna's health both physical and mental...  Or, rather.  Digital and Mental he supposed, more than he did his own.  While he did promise Jenna to live on without her, he doubted that he'd ever just let Jenna face death alone.  He'd fight to protect her, all the way to the very end.  If he had to watch her die, or find out she died, he didn't know what he'd do.

When She repeated the word and started blushing, Itzal started blushing right back.  It was still weird and awkward for Itzal if he was totally honest.  And clearly it was still odd for her as well.  He wasn't sure to what extent, nor for what reason even.  He especially didn't guess that her feelings toward it would ever be similar to his own.  There was a bit of silence which made things more awkward, but then she spoke again, mentioning how it feels kind of weird.  How she never had expected to be called that in this point in time.  He chuckled.  "Know what?  I felt the same way..  Well except that I doubted I'd ever find someone who would want to be with me.  And it was the last thing I thought of while in this world."  Then she mentioned how she was happy, and especially since her Fiancée was the beacon of hope.  He blushed again as he hadn't heard that name for quite a long while, and it was used mainly as a joke.  However she seemed to take it literal.  He thought about that for a moment.  Beacon of hope...  The way the frontlines were right now only presented selfishness and greed nothing more.  He wished they could just work together as allies, friends, even as family in the hopes of clearing the floors and saving everyone.  However it didn't seem like that was going to happen the way things were going.  Perhaps he could-  Then she asked him where he got the title.  "You know, I barely remember.  I think I was talking to a friend or two, and they mentioned it.  Mainly because they heard others talk about me.  This was back when the guild was active of course, and not when people have either gone missing or just isolated themselves.  I never got why they called me that though."

@Kasier

[Kasier 0]

"I guess Ulises wasn't as bad as I thought, then." Kasier joked, and then giggled, "Well, I guess when we first kissed, it was a bit of that anger housed within him which triggered the whole thing. Perhaps Ulises is still within you, just hidden away in a deep part." Kasier exclaimed thoughtfully. Itzal was the first person that Kasier had witnessed such a conflicting difference in personality which can be switched around with one simple trigger. In the beginning, Kasier had gotten a lot closer to Itzal due to this curiosity, but as time faded, the personality disappeared, and Kasier began to find interest in Itzal as the person he is, not his alternative personality. Perhaps Ulises really was the key to their relationship, it was the reason that Kasier followed Itzal around so much back then anyway, from what she could remember. She sighed, remembering that so many people had already disappeared from her life, including Helios... and Mossino. "By the way, do you know what happened to that girl? That Mossino?" Kasier asked. She never added her to the friend's list, so she didn't know exactly what was going on with her - perhaps she was even dead.

"You doubted that anyone would get with you? Come on, you're basically perfection. You're nice, and kind, and would sacrifice yourself for a friend. I don't think anyone would ever turn you down if you got braver and asked them first." Kasier analyzed, putting an analysis from her side as a female. "Although some girls are more into the... other type of guys." She remembered. "And yeah, I really like the name, fits you quite well actually." She finished, looking around as some boars began to walk the grounds of the first floor. The boars would most likely not bother to attack the two players though, since they obviously too high-leveled for the mobs of this floor.

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

When Kasier giggled, Itzal chuckled and all weight that was lingering on his mind and shoulders was lifted instantly.  Kasier was perhaps the one person whom Itzal would rather be with through any and all situations.  Jonathan was second of course, but he wasn't close enough with him.  Especially recently.  Jonathan seemed to be a little more short than usual, and seemed to be holding back something from Itzal.  What it was he could not say, but it worried him.  Well, not at this current moment that is.  He was focused mainly on Kasier and their conversation.  She mentioned how when they first kissed, it was the anger within Ulises that had triggered it all.  Itzal was a bit confused by this statement but he forgot about it when he heard her next words.  He smiled and chuckled.  "In a way he is.  Ulises was a program that developed in me due to my.....  Well many issues passed on from real life.  After I took the <Calming the Soul> quest however, I didn't destroy the program.  We just kind of worked together.  When he vanished he informed me that he had sorted through my emotions and became them once more.  So yeah, I suppose he is there somewhere.."  After a little bit she asked him what happened to Alisa.  He nodded as that was something that had happened suddenly, too suddenly for others to hear the truth.  "She's fine.  She hasn't taken me off her friends list though she never actually replies to my messages.  My guess?  She's probably found a place to lay low until Aincrad's beaten.  I hope she gets to enjoy herself in the meantime.  Poor girl's been through a lot."

When Kasier started speaking praise about him he began to blush...  Very badly.  He hadn't blushed this hard in a very very long time.  He rubbed the back of his head nervously, half hiding his face.  When she talked about how no one would turn him down if he was brave enough to ask his blush intensified more which he didn't think was possible.  "I'm not, nearly that good......"  When she talked about his title, Beacon of hope, he relaxed a bit more but looked a bit down.  "I don't know.  I haven't been much use to the frontlines lately.  The last boss we fought I dealt like, fifty points of damage and that's it.  I was pretty useless then and I'm pretty useless now...  Though that doesn't mean I'm going to just give up, don't get me wrong." 

@Kasier

[Kasier 0]

Kasier nodded in understanding as Itzal informed her of Mossino's whereabouts. She quite liked the girl, so it was a shame that she decided to simply lay low and wait until the game was over. Kasier didn't blame anyone who decides to remain safe constantly though. There are a lot of players in this game that just don't come out of their hotels or the safe zone in fear that death might find its way upon them. Death is, of course, a serious thing, and something that is feared by all. Kasier used to be one of these people, until certain experiences changed her, and now she'd rather reach the front lines and die than to stay away from it and live on knowing that she was not helping the players up there with beating this game and escaping. "Yeah, quite a common decision. I hope everything works out for her, then." Kasier exclaimed, realizing that at this point, the two players were just having a casual conversation. Itzal was definitely calm now, and distracted by the bombardment of words coming from Kasier's mouth, which was Kasier's intention. By using some random topics to create chitter-chatter, Kasier accomplished what she set out to do, and she was glad that she could finally do something to help out the one person that she wanted to help most.

"Oh, come on. You really think a few numbers in a video game is that important to people? Everyone has their roles - you are a scout, so you aren't expected to deal that many damage. Plus, you are a beacon of hope - an inspiration to other people. I'm sure you'll get your damage up, but just by being your friendly self, you are helping a lot of people. No one is truly useless, not you of all people, at least. So never call yourself that again. If you really don't see your "use", you'll find it eventually. There will be a time." Kasier said. She was a firm believer that everyone had a role to play in this world.

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

Jenna seemed to be accepting of what Itzal had to say in regards to Alisa.  According to her, she didn't like the name Mossino and had been meaning to make a new account because of that....  Then they were stuck with the name they had typed out, which was a very real bummer.  Itzal felt as if they should have at least been allowed to change their username at least once after the announcement had been made.  At least then they could change their username from something embarrassing, or so unlike their characteristics, to something that really fit them.  For instance, if someone had a name that described the person as dark, cruel, and unforgiving when really they were a gentle person.  It was very unfortunate that they had to be trapped in this world with a permanent username that they had no control over.  To a great many it could easily be a living nightmare.  He mentally shuddered at the thought of having a seriously embarrassing name that others would always see if they were in a party with him.  He wished there was some setting that let him change his username or hide it in that manner.  When Jenna mentioned how it was quite the common decision nowadays and wished her the best of luck, Itzal nodded with a smile.  "I hope so as well.  Honestly the thought of her staying in hiding gives me a bit of comfort.  I feel uncomfortable thinking about Alisa joining the frontlines and having to fight with her life on the line...  Though as of late the bosses have been more tedious than deadly."  Itzal had noticed the satisfaction on Jenna's face but wasn't sure what it was for.

When She spoke to him in regards to his 'uselessness' and listening to her response, he blushed in silence until she was finished.  "...Thanks Jenna.  That means a lot to me."

@Kasier

[Kasier 0]

Kasier smiled as the man talked about how comforting it was for Itzal that Mossino had decided to lay low instead of joining the front lines. This was the opposite of what Kasier thought. To be completely honest, Kasier was not settled with the fact that so many players have been dropping out of even reaching the front lines, deciding to lay low in a hotel or something to avoid death. The front lines have not changed in forever, and a rare death was enough to cause a ripple of damage to players within the front line. At the moment, it was bascially the same players fighting for a common cause for every other player in Aincrad because they the ones brave enough to fight for everyone else who has decided that their lives were more important than other lives. "Although it's safe for players to hide inside their hotel rooms and the sorts, it kind of is discomforting that there are so many players not even willing to try and get to the front lines because they are more selfish for their own lives than the lives of others." Kasier exclaimed, expressing her opposite view point. "Although safety should be a primary concern, it should be everyone working together to get out of this game, instead of just a few of the same people fighting on the front lines. I'm hoping to join the front lines pretty soon. I hope when the time comes, you won't forgo your duty for an emergency situation." Kasier finished. If there was a time that she had to die, she would do it. This game must be defeated, and even during Kasier's death, she'll rest well knowing that she had contributed to the cause that she had recently set out to complete.

"It's a pity not everyone thinks like me though. But that's to be expected," Kasier finished, grabbing the grass from both sides and looking up at the sky. It was approaching afternoon now, and the two players have spent quite the time in that field, talking to each other about their thoughts and experiences. It was a good talk, and Kasier managed to find out even more about Itzal than she knew before. 

@Itzal

[Itzal 0]

It was definitely true that Itzal felt more comfort now that Alisa was most likely keeping her head down until this game was won.  Partially because he was worried the girl would take on too much and perish, or that she would become more and more aggressive in battle and ultimately lose herself in the raw emotion.  He was more concerned with her protecting her own self and her spirit as well, than he was with the frontlines.  As it was right now, the bosses weren't really anything dangerous, just tedious.  Sure if you came with no buffs you'd be in deathly danger, and if you were stupid and let your guard down you'd probably risk death.  But so long as you were focused and prepared you really didn't have anything to fear in the coming battle.  And since they had more dps players than anything else, the bosses have mainly been nothing more than a bunch of health with a few twist abilities to make it harder to kill.  They've been more defensive than offensive as of late to be honest.  That was why the battles were more tedious than anything in his opinion.  Of course, they had no way of knowing what Kayaba was going to do, or not do, in the future.  Was he comfortable with the way his bosses were?  Was he going to pull something on them?  Itzal was not at all certain.  Then Jenna started to speak again, mentioning that while it was indeed safe for players to hide in the towns and cities, it was discomforting to see so many who would rather not try to get to the front lines because they are more selfish, and that even though safety is a prime concern everyone should work together to get out of this game instead of a few people.  Itzal smiled and closed his eyes.  He knew she didn't mean anything harshly, she was concerned for the front lines in her own way.  "And what about all the young ones?  I've seen players between the ages thirteen and nine.  Do we expect them to fight?  You have to remember that there are so many people who don't have any experience with violence and nor should they.  This game will cause many mental issues for most of the players it's trapped, and I expect everyone in this game to have post traumatic stress disorder in the end.  Some people are mentally built for difficulty, challenge, and the threat of death.  Others don't stand a chance.  While I agree that anyone mentally able to should stop playing mercenary, assassin, and fooling around in order to help us beat this game, we cannot force others to do something they aren't ready for.  Nor should we in my opinion.  In the end, we need people who want to save everyone, not to gain the best gear for personal gain."

"I too wish people thought more similarly to you Jenna, as that would mean this game would end quicker.  But at the same time I'm glad they don't.  Because there's only one Jenna.  And I only ever want to marry one person," he said with a blush, but just as much with a warm smile.

@Kasier