[SP-F4] A Cowardly Farewell

[Teion 0]

Teion felt a growing sense of unease as she made her way to Aereth's shop at the edge of the wintry forest on the fourth floor. It had been a month and a half since she'd returned from the 'event' she participated in on the second floor that had kept her away from the rest of Aincrad for four days. Though she and Max had briefly discussed her absence and had seemingly gone back to their regular lives and occasional dates, Teion had been left hoping that she wasn't acting as strangely as she felt since her return.

There was a lot that weighed heavily on her mind as she walked. The details of those days spent alone with Ryo, her dangerous encounter in the desert about a week ago now, and most importantly her uncertainty and doubt surrounding their relationship. Just considering the latter made her feel sick to her stomach. She cared for Max, that much was certain. The thought of hurting him filled her with a dread that had kept her avoiding all of these topics for this long, but today she pushed past the tight and heavy knot that nestled in her stomach while she approached the tailor's shop and gave a quick knock.

@Aereth

[Teion 0]

The few seconds she waited felt much, much longer. Teion held a curled hand in front of her chest, forcing herself to wait a bit more. And then a bit more, still. But after a while it was apparent that the brunette wasn't in his shop. She turned away from the door, immediately kicking herself as she took a couple of steps to the snow-covered floor outside of Aereth's tailor shop. The woman began to pace, her thoughts racing and anxiety building with every step. What was she doing? What should she do? Part of her just wanted to try talking--spilling her guts the same as she had over a campfire on the seventh floor, and hoping for the best. The rest of her was too terrified to pull up her menus and start writing a message to call the brunette over.

Teion's breath began to shake as she finally stopped and swiped a hand through the air to call the familiar semi-transparent window in front of her. She wouldn't pan over to her friends list, but rather quickly navigate to her inventory and select an item with an icon of a small stationery set. She forced herself to sit on the couple of steps leading to the door of the shop still standing in front of her, and placed a blank sheet of paper down beside her.

Quote

Max,

I really am the biggest coward I know. I came here to at least try and talk with you, but all I could manage was writing some sh*tty letter.

I've been having second thoughts. I don't know how else to describe it, or how to explain everything that's been going on in my head lately. I feel like I've already been keeping secrets from you, or at the very least I haven't been completely honest. I really wish I had the courage to try and tell you all this in person. Just writing this is terrifying. I wonder if you could ever forgive me for this.

I'm going to keep fighting. I have my own demons to beat, along with the other 70-something floors of this godforsaken castle. You saw me at my worst. I wanted to give up, but you didn't let me. And even if I have no right to be so selfish, there's something I want to ask of you. Max, please don't give up.

I'm sorry. For acting like this. For making you worry about me. For hurting you. About Alice. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the princess that you deserve. Just, if you don't hate my guts after this, I don't want this to be goodbye forever. I'm still terrified I might just see your name crossed out on the monument one day. Max, I understand if you never want to talk to me again. Or maybe you wanna tell me off for this. But if things ever get really bad, you know where to find me. Hopefully I could end up being better than nothing, if you need help.

-Thea

She could hardly make out her name through her blurred vision as she wrote it. How long had her letter taken to write? She had stopped to compose herself at least two or three times when the tears and the shortness of breath were too much to keep going. Teion turned, hugging her knees close to her chest for several minutes as she got the last of her feelings out in broken sobs in front of the brunette's shop.

When her shoulders had stopped shuddering and the last of the moisture had been rubbed away from her skin with the backs of her hands, the violette looked back to the letter still sitting beside her. She drew in a deep breath of cold air, a swift shiver running through her as the time outside in the snow finally began to set in after the desert-dweller's emotional outburst. Teion pushed herself up with weak legs, taking the edge of the note and sliding it under the door. She straightened up, drained and weary while she opened her menus and found her friends list. She selected the first name to appear, index finger hovering for several long seconds with a pained expression on her face all the while. "I'm so sorry, Max." She breathed out in a whisper, finally selecting the option to remove the username from the short list.

@Aereth