F2-PP) Discovering the truth (Eatos, Stryder)

[Stryder 0]

Ever since getting his familiar, something had been on Sky's mind. He looked at Silver, smiling at her as he slowly stroked her head. She was very.... Well timid. She seemed happy around him, and that but he hadn't actually brought her around others yet. Since she had a traumatic experience about being attacked.... 

He smiled, giving her a hug, his mind going back to Eatos. Embers had been right.... She was hiding something from him. Something big, and he wanted to know. 

"Hey Silver, lets go for a walk" He says to her, smiling as he roughs up the wolfess'es coat, starting to head out of his shop/home. The wolf growls, but in a nice kind of happy way, as she walks beside her master. As they walk, he sent a message to Eatos... 

Hey, can you meet me where we broke that boulder? I need to talk to you

 

[Eatos 0]

Eatos' eyes shot open, panic and fear dominated them. Yet another nightmare. She checked the in-game clock and swore silently. She'd barely been asleep an hour. Sleep aluded her of late, and it came bearing horrible gifts. An event she should have never been able to forget, the one that affected her for years. She saw that, in her time asleep in her shop on the fourth floor, she had received a message. From Stryder. Of course she had. Because what she needed now was a talk about the guild, when she'd barely been sleeping the past few days. 

She sent a curt 'I'll meet you there in an hour' before sitting up fully and taking a deep breath. She just needed to mentally reset and put on a brave face. Only one person alive knew what plagued her mind, Silver, or known as Thorsten by the guild. She could just survive today, then maybe, talk to him about the nightmares. About him, about how that boy continued to haunt her. 

 

Nearly an hour later. Eatos, with Angel trailing behind her, began the hike up to the top of the mountain. She knew 'Breaking the Unbreakable' quest was up here, but she had no interest in doing the quest itself. Her Katana was enough, if it was seemingly what was making those nightmares worse. She looked around for Stryder upon reaching the top. His 'home' was nearby, surely he woudl beat her here. 

[Stryder 0]

Sky was there for about... maybe thirty minutes. He was laying down on a small patch of grass, right next to where the boulder was, which obviously had respawned.... Though this time he had no reason to break it. The wolf was laying across his stomach, and with what could interpreted as a smile on its face. Ever since Sky has rescued her, she had become attached to him. In more ways then one. She was always crying when he got back after going out without her, and always tried to sneak onto his bed to lay at his feet. She stayed awake quite often to, in what he could guess was protecting him, though they were in a safe zone and there was no need for it.

He opened his eyes when he heard a growl, sort of aggressivly. She didn't like others very much... at all it seemed. She would slowly, hopefully, grow to like others, especially those in his guild, though that wasn't his main issue right now.

He looked over at her, putting a smile on his face as he stroked Silver's head. 

"Took ya long enough"

[Eatos 0]

The lack of sleep had made the 'hike' harder than it should have. Twice she'd tripped over a stone, only to have Angel catch her before she hit the ground. For all the times she called her familiar overally protective, she knew how to look after her foolish owner. After all, if she were smart, she wouldn't let a single nightmare reoccurring break her so fundamentally. The lack of sleep had done little to improve her mood, and so Stryders smart-crack was not met by a smile, but a simple sigh from the amber-eyed girl.

"What is it Stryder? We could have just met at a teleporter or something, instead you had me hike my way up here. What's happened? The guild seems fine if that's what you're concerned about" Eatos couldn't understand why else he'd call her, here, of all places. It was ages away from anywhere and a pain to get too. Her lack of sleep had killed what kindness she had, and the hike hadn't put her in a smiley mood either.

Angel tilted her head upon seeing Silver for a second time. The Husky stood between Stryder and Eatos, a curious look in the dogs blue eyes, but a slight growl. Angel trusted Stryder not to hurt her master, but the wolf at his side was something else entirely. 

[Stryder 0]

She seemed to be a little annoyed at him about him making her come up here, and of course, her first thought is about  the guild. He was a little... disturbed by this instant thought. They did talk about the guild a lot... But he was also her friend, and could talk to her without the need for something like there guild coming out. He shook his head at her, attempting to indicate he wasn't really wanting to talk about that.

"This is something else, and i felt coming somewhere.... well, calm was the best place to discuss the disturbing vibe i got from you last time i saw you in combat" He said to her. His mind is racing, trying to imagine how they were going to proceed. This was something he needed to talk and solve with her. If fighting was something that brought up repressed memories... There was a good chance he wasn't going to let her go back in combat. As her guild leader, he was willing to basically isolate her from actually swinging a blade... he didn't want her to have to relive real world problems.

[Eatos 0]

Eatos frowned at Stryder, before she looked away and walked towards one of the cliff edges, taking a seat. She closed her eyes, so he'd noticed when they were rescuing her familiar. It was true, she'd seen something she had been struggling to push away. Something that she couldn't ever forget, and honestly, it had been forever since she'd thought about. But there was never an escape from the demons that lay within her own mind. But how did he know?

"Listen Stryder..I'll be fine if you're worried about me. The past few weeks, i've just had some bad dreams. It's nothing important, just, keeping me up" That was a lie to a degree. In the past week, she'd spent about an hour a night asleep. That was being generous. She was tired and whenever she closed her eyes, she could see the image. The knife in her hand, the person....! Her eyes shot open and her breathing picked up, even her heartbeat did. She hated it, this was the one thing that could make her lose her calm. Dammit! "...That other girl, what's her name..Embers. She told you something was wrong with me didn't she?"

Of course it was. Embers was violent, that much was clear. It wouldn't surprise her if she had the same sin as that ginger. Murder. 

[Stryder 0]

He was hearing her words, but he wasn't believing them. Not at all. She had become a different person last time they had fought together, and it was something he was going to nip in the ass. He wasn't going to let this issue progress into something she wouldn't recover from... Thorsten had done this for him, and he wanted to pay his kindness forwards. She seemed to be slowly losing her calm, she was  being a little more aggressive then normal, but he wasn't scared. Silver was though, sensing it with her sharp animal senses, backing away a little. Sky simply put a hand out, the wolfess moving her head into it, calming down a little. 

"No, i noticed it before she said anything. Ever since you picked up a blade in the defense of others you have slowly been getting more and more unstable, and i want to know why" He said, walking over towards the cliff himself, sitting down next to her, Silver moving to the side of Sky that Eatos wasn't on. 

"Your easily my best friend in this world, your the first person i met and you helped change me. I want to return the favor, tell me whats going on" He says to her, his words sincere.

[Eatos 0]

Eatos let out a sigh, but she couldn’t even argue against it. She had been, different on late. More emotional, less calm. It was all the nightmares fault, keeping her awake. When she closed her eyes, she’d find herself in that alley way, knife in hand, blood painted on her like a sick joke.

She looked over at Stryder as he sat down near her, he wanted to know? She glanced at the ground as she felt Angel walk up to her and lie down, resting her head on Eatos’ lap. Unable to not, she began stroking the huskies head.

“I’m sorry Stryder. But there are just, some things, that should be kept under wraps..” She looked down at her familiar. Under wraps, yeah…Like she was being successful in suppressing the memories the past month. She let out a sigh “Stryder, I want an oath. A contract, that if I tell you. No one, and I mean no one, finds out the truth about me….” The more despicable of truths… "If you do that for me...I'll tell you, i'll tell you my sin..."

[Stryder 0]

She was getting very serious with him, he could tell. Especially with her wanting an oath from him, a vow that he wouldn't tell anyone else what she was about to say. Then she said it. A Sin. That made him a little anxious and worried,  what could she have done that was so bad? He knew the sins, having actually learnt them mainly from Eatos, with all her weapons and stuff. There was the sin of Wrath, Lust, Envy, Sloth, Pride, Gluttony, Greed... But which would she have done? Which would she be filed under? He didn't know, but what he did know is that whatever it was, it is chewing her up... and he wanted to help his friend.

"You have my word no one will find out, and i promise no matter what it is i won't think any less of you" He says to her, Silver doing somehting similar to angel and putting her head on his lap, to which he simply started to stroke her fur a little, a soft growl coming out of her.

[Eatos 0]

There was no escape, and even telling Stryder wouldn't absole her of what she had done in the past, what her sin was. It was a burden that she would bear until death came to claim her, or worse. But, he was right. It was affecting her in a negative manner, and if he knew, he could help her. Ensure she wasn't placed into situations her flashbacks would trigger, keep her away from danger when not needed. Of all the people, Stryder wouldn't understand it. But he could comprehend what occurred...His words may not be enough, but they were all she had. 

"When, i was 16, i committed my first major sin...I, was with someone, my boyfriend at the time. He...well, he was a sociopath they said afterwards, incapable of feeling proper emotion. And me, well, i had part of that in me, a detachment. My heart, usually, never changes it pace unless i'm running. They said, afterwards that...." She cut herself off, had too. She took a deep breath and cuddled Angel tightly "For two years, i dated a Serial Killer a-and i....I helped him. I lied to the cops, i was his alibi. A-and later on, i...." She shut her eyes tight, refusing to look at Stryder "I killed people for him....several, he gave me the knife and i...did what he said"  

 

[Stryder 0]

Sky was shocked, but he didn't show it. In times like these he often could keep himself calm and rational, and because he knew Eatos he wasn't about to flip his [censored] on her. He just listened, and when she closed her eyes, hugging Angel and refusing to look at him, he decided to do something a little bold. He walked up and hugged Eatos, not getting in the way of her hugging Angel, Silver following closely and starting to lick at Eato's arm.

"Thats... not what i expected to hear in all honesty.... But i don't think thats your fault.... He decieved you, probably made you believe without him you would be nothing... But thats not true. Look at what you have been doing in this world, you have saved my life more times then i can count with your healing, and your armor" He said to her, his voice sincere, trying to convince her that she wasn't at fault, and that she has been doing good with herself so far. "Though your heart pace not changing wouldn't suprise me, your very good at what you do" He said, at this point letting her go, hoping he had done something.

[Eatos 0]

Eatos wasn’t sure how Stryder would react if she was honest. She knew his opinion of player killers, they had discussed as much when setting up the guild and its approach to player killers and such.  All that time, she had kept it buried within her. She kept her focus on Angel, holding the familiar that was still her life line back to the real world. She hadn’t expected Stryder to hold her, and after a short bit, she tried to shrug him off. She had never liked hugs, too personal.

“You’re wrong” she said instantly to Stryder as he finished his piece. It was an all-too familiar piece she’d heard from every therapist she spoke to “I had my own life, before and during him, I was independent…” She took a deep breath, but his final comment received a glare, a violent one “That’s Why he picked me. He knew, somehow, he knew…I’m good at lying, good at keeping emotions in. Good at….killing. Over those years Stryder, he killed over a hundred people…and I..I killed 32”

Within her trial, there were three things that allowed Katherine Williams the non-guilty verdict. The first was evidence, while there was plenty of evidence on Adam Tains, there was no hard evidence saying she had ever killed (Despite her full testimony that was never released). The second was her information, but giving the police everything, evidence and a testimony, she was given a free pass by the legal system. And the third…was her own body. Police had found her body loaded with drugs, too many for the girl to remember. In the trial, the judge had said they made her ‘easy to control’ and ‘submissive’, and she was not accountable for her actions during her drugging. But the third she hated, hated the idea that she wasn’t herself.

“When I hold a blade here…o-or even a knife back home. I can’t help but have…flashbacks, to the alley ways where we…we used to kill” The girl look a deep breath and forced, yet another, image back “It’s why I’m a healer, why I make armour. Because of me, Stryder. Over a hundred people are dead…”

[Stryder 0]

A... hundred.... and she had helped him kill 32 of them by doing it with her own hand.... That was a lot... He really wished he hadn't said anything now... This is completely hell... He had no idea what to say, or what to do. She sounded like she felt responsible... But if she killed for him, she must have either had a reason, or that.... Well, he had no idea. He needed to keep blades away from her, that is all he knew... He needed to keep her hand off that blade as much as possible.

"Well.... I can't really relate to that... I'm sorry... But you are making your wrongs as right as you can by being a healer, by keeping those who are hopeless alive... You are helping to save thousands of lives" He said, hoping that saying she was doing something good was going to at least calm her mind a little bit. "Why did you do it for him....? Was there a reason?" He asked, wanting to know the whole story, even the parts she didn't want to tell... and the parts he didn't really want to hear.

[Eatos 0]

Eatos wasn’t looking for sympathy dammit. She hated it, hated hw everyone told her they knew how it felt, or stating obvious information such as she was a healer in this game. Like she didn’t already know that. She had become a healer, in part, for that entire purpose. That was part of the reason!  

“Stryder, don’t pull the wool over my eyes” she said, looking up and giving him a weak glare “I know that here, I’m not doing much. I’m not near the front lines where I could be saving everyone, and I’m just too scared to go anywhere near them. My store isn’t all that, and my healing ability is sub-par at best” She couldn’t stand being treated like a kid, not after Silver helped her recover…

Stryers last question cut through her, and she couldn’t help but flinch from it. In part, she could say what the judge said. That she had no idea what was going on because of the drugs in her system but that was a lie. She knew, all too damn well, what had been happening, she had just closed her eyes to reality.

“Because…it just happened. At first, it was just, lie to the cops and say I was with you. That went on for, months. Then it was ‘come out with me’, and I watched him kill. After that, it was helping him get them in place…” The girl took a deep breath “I can’t explain why it happened, the doctors said I was drugged up or something, but it was two years. No way he drugged me for two years…b-because, I remember it all, every single detail…”

[Stryder 0]

Drugs.... He had no idea if that was the true reason. Everything about this was sounding... well, horrible. He knew this girl, he had been her friend for ages and from everything that had happened he KNEW she was no killer at heart... But he didn't know how to help her. The Docters said she was drugged, but she didn't believe she was. He had no idea how he could rationalize that...

"Maybe at the moment your not near the front, but eventually our guild will be there helping the frontliners. We might not all go into the fight itself, but you are still a big part of our guild... So what if your not saying everyone, your saving your family, me, Pinball, Hei, all of the guild... were a family" Sky said, giving her a smile. 

"I mean... he might have drugged you with something that doesn't affect memory... But i have no idea about what drug could do that...." He then said, really wishing he could help rationalize how this had all happened... But he couldn't. He sighed, looking at her, having only one thing left to ask.

"What can i do to help you get through this? Your my friend, i don't want you to have to go through this alone... Especially since Silver has straight up vanished at the moment" He said, remembering when they had all met up in  this game, she seemed to trust silver a lot.

[Eatos 0]

A family huh? The girl couldn’t stop the snort. In a way, he was fight, but it just felt so wrong to call people who she didn’t even know the real name of, a family. But she would look after them regardless, even if she was no where near the front lines. Someone had to look after the weaker players, might as well be her?

“It doesn’t matter if he did, or he didn’t, Stryder. Regardless of it he drugged me, I still killed them. I’m the one who ended their life” It was true, and even Silver hadn’t been able to change her mind about it. Teach her to cope, yes. But that blood was on her hands alone, nothing would ever change the sin she had committed.

“Silver? He does this, even back then. He’d vanish for a while when he had to, he’d usually tell me it was important. But, he always comes back, trust in that” The girl answers, mostly not wanting to think about the first question. The very fact these memories were coming back, was there anything you can do against your own mind?

“Honestly, Stryder, I doubt it. I just…have to get used to holding a blade. You know I dueled Pin, and mid battle, I had a flash back and just…I screamed” Eatos petted Angel, who barked lazily back “I don’t think there is a cut and dry solution to this Stryder…”

[Stryder 0]

She dueled pin... and had a flashback and from what he was guessing, she had a spaz out. He really was hoping she hadn't taken her anger out on anyone.... But aparently she had. He was slowly realizing trying to make her feel like she wasn't responsible wasn't going to work.... He just had to be here and be a crutch, that was the only way out of this for her... Having someone to help her.

"Well, i hope he comes back again.... I don't know how much i can do for you. Also... I think you should find another way around it then just getting used to it... I think that might make you worse. I'f i'm around, you won't need to pick up that blade...." He said to her, hoping it would do something, though he highly doubted he was going to be that lucky. He doubted that anything he could do would break through, though that didn't stop him from wanting to try.

[Eatos 0]

Eatos scoffed at Stryder, despite his suggestion. He wanted her to run away? To run from her problems, just as everyone said to? How could she do that, in a world, where everywhere she turned, she had to make that choice?

“So you want me to, what? Put my blade down?” She eventually asked, petting Angel slowly “You want me to just, ignore the dreams? Ignore the nightmares that keep me up at night?” Was that his plan? Well, it couldn’t be hers. “Our guild is made up by weaker players Stryder, players that I have to protect”

Eatos let out a deep breath. The words became harder to say, but she had to confront her demoms somehow. “Do you expect me to just, do nothing, while more people die Stryder? I already bear the sin of so many corpses. I’m scared of dying, but I’m even more scared having to…having to add more names to the list”

 

[Stryder 0]

Sky winced horribly when she reacted, realizing his words had been taken wrong... He needed to stop being vague, and be exact in what he was saying. He knew what she was saying was right, but he had no idea on how to help her... At all.

"Not run away.... Look, iv never been the best at rationalizing situations like this, and iv never been in a situation where iv had to.... Deal with anything this hard, hardest thing that has happened in my life was the first part of SAO before we met, when i was still shy of really leaving the town.... I don't know how to help you, what can i do to help you? I don't expect  you to let people die, we did start the Guardians to protect everyone..." 

He completely exhaled after that, before getting all his breath back. He wanted to keep himself as.... Well sane as he could... Sane wasn't right, but he needed to keep himself as happy and open minded as he could.

[Eatos 0]

She knew it wasn’t an easy topic, hell, the only person she’d ever talked to about it with any maturity was Silver. It had been a lot to learn, but now, without the one person who helped make it rational for her, without the one person who had helped her once before.  While Stryder was there for her, now, she knew it wasn’t what she needed. He didn’t know how to help, Silver just did. He knew how to support her, how to help her. Stryders words weren’t, helping.

“That’s the issue Stryder. I honestly, don’t know. Back when I had Silver, he just…knew what to say. I think, my plan for now at least, is to simply survive” She let out a single breath “I don’t expect you to do the same, honestly no one got to me before Silver did. But he did, somehow” It was still a mystery to her how she met him, how he knew.

“Just…if we get into a fight, and I have to draw my weapon. Keep my focused, remind me…that I’m not in that alleyway…and I’ll be fine”