[Multiple Floors-PP] Numb

[Mari 1]

TENTH FLOOR
 

Years, It has been so many years - resenting the years… of the adversary

How long had it been since she locked herself away? Days? Months? Years? Did any of it even matter anymore? Mari's blue eyes watched the fireflies dance in the lanterns above her. They stared through the whimsical lighting hanging above her - tiny jars filled with fireflies. Her eyes  void of movement or motion. The only signs of life were a slow blink when they demanded the need to.

The once feared PKer, and frontliner. Nothing more than a mere whisper upon the wind between players - Mari was sprawled out on the hard floor of her tent. Pink hair a messy halo around her head. Clothes? She stopped caring about how she presented herself long ago. Adorned in nothing more than a plain white dress - the only colour coming from a red scarf given to her by a long departed man by the name of Daeron. It supposedly had an ability that protects one from the cold - but Mari couldn’t tell you if that were still true or not. She felt a constant state of numbness.

The dilapidated tent was a place that once served as a popular Alchemical store. The plush pillows that decorated the floor were now pushed up to the sides o the tent- lying limp against shelves filled with outdated potions thick with layers of dust. Unwanted. Redundant. Undesirable. Much like her.

 As it should be. She was not something to be feared. Not a demon, not a frontliner. Nothing more than a grieving recluse, waiting for death or for someone to clear the game. Last she heard, they were up to floor 25- only a quarter of a way through, in two years. Chances were, many of them would leave this virtual world to a life of near death. Unfit for the outside.

The systems had updated and changed around her and Mari wasn't even sure her skills were useful. All she had was her small, dinky tent. An out of date alchemist store no one visited in the dark depths of the 10th floor.

That, and her thoughts.

Nothing more.

She wasn’t always like this, just a few months ago she even had a companion - even if it were merely through PMs.

Corvo. Someone who had been close with Alkor, a childhood friend. Not that Mari would ever have picked it. The man was virtually the polar opposite of the dark stoic man.

Corvo was one of the few players who had tried to reach out to her, sending her a couple of messages, if nothing more than out of duty to his departed friend. Perhaps the only time she had smiled lately was when Corvo had made a joke about how when Alkor was younger Corvo managed to convince him that cows were just painted horses on tv - and horses were a bunch of cats taped together. It reminded them both of simpler times.

Sadly...

Small reprieves like that were short lived. It was just a painful reminder of everything she had lost. Imagine teasing Alkor about that along with Corvo, or joking about it with her daughter. Such things were impossible in a world where dragons and monsters were real. A world where the simplicities of hiding in your refrigerator when you were sad or marathoning your favourite TV series were long out of reach.

 Corvo and her, the two of them were equally hotheaded, and hurt. Mari struggled to reach out to others, and Corvo? Well. He was Corvo. So eventually, those messages stopped. The obligation ended there.

It would have been nice… to have someone else to talk to but Mari couldn't bring herself to do so. The last time she opened up to someone, became friends with that someone… he had turned on her and tried to kill her. Lowenthal was the final nail in the rotting coffin of her psyche. Of her attempts at reconciliation, or redemption. 

If that's the way people were to treat her, then so be it. Mari couldn't be angry at him nor anyone for wanting her life. A player killer was not something to be idolized, it was someone who deserved just retribution. Secluding herself like this was as close to prison as she could imitate.

And, is that not what she deserved?  A sigh escaped two pink lips. "Well, I tried my best and failed miserably."

 

Mari pushed herself up off the floor and smoothed the wrinkles out of her clothing, then ran long pale fingers through her messy hair, pushing her bangs up and out of her face to rest behind her ears.

It was almost time…

The anniversary of a death. The death of the only one who truly opened up to her.

It was the only time she ever let herself leave her prison. The only time she allows light to touch her alabastor skin.

Each step felt heavy, burdensome. Why did she commit herself to this? Why not just stay here in the comfort of the darkness and solitude?

Still… her feet moved forward - out of the dimly lit tent, and into the eternal darkness of the 10th floor. Blue eyes flickered green as her Night Vision ability activated.

Silently...she wafted across the floor, avoiding the mobs - to the teleportation gate - heading to a place of bitter memories.

 

FOURTH FLOOR

Mari stood at the edge of the lake, arms crossed over her chest. She welcomed the bitter cold. It reminded her that she was alive. Hell, the only reason she hadn't thrown herself off the edge of Aincrad was a promise that she'd live.

 

And look where that got her.

 

"Why am I even here?" She asked.

 

And of course…

 

No one replied.

 

“Is it bad I can’t remember.... If I was ever able to play for you?” Mari asked. “Is it worse...that the only thing I want… is for you both to hear me?” Her voice cracked at the second question as she choked back the emotion that she tried so hard to push down. “You...played the piano right?” The tears fell freely down Mari’s face now, and she made no attempts to wipe them away.

Her tiny fists balled up into fists, her breathing ragged. “Wouldn’t it be nice...if we were able to play together?”

Silence washed over the petite woman as she lost her voice to emotion. Tiny sobs wracked her body. Why? Why did coming here always do this to her? She was doing so well, so well at being numb.

How Ironic - that this icy domain was the one thing that thawed out the walls that she tried to entrap herself within. 

 

 

**Notes**
-I was given Permission by Alkor to mention his side character in this
-last time I was here the Violin was allowed as a cosmetic item, if this is no longer the case please PM me and I’ll edit the post accordingly.

Edited December 10, 2019 by Mari

[Alkor 0]

The world felt cold.

It was a nice contrast to the hellish heat that plagued his memory, but it offered little comfort to the player. He had effectively become a ghost, a haunting memory for those who knew him. Some of them had fond thoughts, while others spat his name like venom. For Alkor, running into any of them meant finding a piece of the lost puzzle. He needed to solve that in order to find himself again.

Snow crunched under his boots as he made his way through the Starglade, each meter he went evoking another scene from his fractured past. There had been good times and bad times in this place. Did those people still come to visit? Did some of them still remember?

He couldn't fault them if they had put him out of their minds. Survival in this world meant that dwelling on the past was a luxury. Forward thinkers and momentum carried them toward the top floor. They could keep vigil for the fallen for only so long.

You played the piano, right...?

The words seared like fire against his flesh as the familiar voice seized his heart. Alkor never expected to see her, at least, not so soon. She came here to reflect, but still, she recalled such an abstract detail? How could he face her? After all this time, and all of the things he couldn't do or say...

Comfort was something the man rarely knew how to give.

His spirit spoke for him, because kindness was his nature. Alkor found himself moving without willing it, and his voice rising against his fears. Whether bold or stupid, he reached out.

"Yeah," he replied softly. "I did. Not too many pianos around here, though."

His gaze softened, and he wore the sorrowful smile of a man who had lost everything.

"But yes," he added. "It would be nice."

@Mari

 

[Mari 1]

Mari stilled, her breath stuck in her throat. Often - she had thought she heard things here, taunting words lilting like a sonnet echoing in the winds but this was different. This was so very real.

It was as voice she had heard countless times before. In her memories, in her dreams. Even in a distorted reality, when she drank a potion of her own design that made her see the hearts truest desire - a voice she knew all too well - and yet, never quite well enough.

Alkor.

Mari was almost too afraid to turn around and face the source of the voice. What if it wasn’t real? What if it was someone who merely wanted her head. Without turning, without letting her mind runaway with impossible fantasies Mari steeled herself. “If you’re after my head - at least let us leave this area. I do not want this place desecrated.”

Finally, with the resultion that it was not Alkor, Mari turned to face the cruel assailant. “At least give...me...that….”

The strength in her words faded as she looked upon the man. Pale skin, wisps of dark hair creeping out from his black hood - and her most favourite colour in the world. The golden amber of his eyes.

First one foot, then the other, propelled the tiny woman forward toward him till they were but a breath apart. Tiny shaking hands reached out to lightly graze his cheeks.

“Oh how cruel my mind is being…” She whispered. “It’s like you’re really here…”

A rueful smile split her shaken lips. “If you truly were...maybe you’d tell me what possibly possessed you to believe cows were painted horses on tv...and that they actually taped cats together…”

Mari knew she should withdraw her hand. The aching warmth that seeped into her skin had to be a lie -and if it weren’t...the Alkor of her memories was not one for fondness or human touch.

Still, her body moved on its own. Breaching the gap her hands fell to wrap around his back and her cheek pressed against his chest. “It’s a shame ghosts can’t answer the questions our mind has no answer to, but at least they can’t push me away…”


Mari tightened her hold, dare she ask that question - "Are you real? Is this truly you Alkor?"


@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

His face contorted in a pained expression. Even without asking, the cursor over her head was enough to tell stories. She had held it close to her heart like an envenomed blade and plunged it deeper, desperate to find a way to him. It did not matter that it meant death. Alkor let out a chilled breath as he listened to her words. 

She never had let go. It twisted her until it controlled her completely. Devils in her mind saw him around corners, just barely out of reach. Mari had yearned for him so deeply that she had lost sight of reality. 

His fists curled and tightened at his sides as she told a tale of acceptance. Mari would accept that people wanted to kill her, and in turn, lose herself deeper in a sea of crimson. It was not a life he had ever wanted for her.

The dull ache in his chest spread wider, to his arms and the pit of his stomach. Emptiness swallowed him whole. In a single instant, he had failed her entirely. "I-" he began to say, "I am here, but then she said something completely obtuse. Cows? Horses? Cats?

"Why would I believe that?" he blinked skeptically. Were the delusions far worse than he could comprehend? "Who the hell would believe that? It sounds like some goofy line from a cartoon."

He had already flinched from her initial touch, but eased himself into acceptance. If her mind was to heal, or any part of her being it meant fragility in handling right now.

"A-ah!" he let out a cry of surprise as she wrapped him in an unexpected embrace and held him close. "Y-you're close," he stuttered. "And we're in public."

At her final words, the swordsman closed his eyes and nodded.

"I think I'm real," he answered. "At least, as real as I can be in a virtual world."

@Mari

 

[Mari 1]

The nuances of unease did not go unnoticed by the pink haired woman - before she had gone in to embrace him, she saw the look on his face as his eyes lifted up to her cursor. His was once red too, they promised that together they'd remove the vile crimson stains upon their identities - but oh how they had fallen. How he had fallen. "How are you here?" She asked.

Mari knew he was uncomfortable with the embrace, her eyes watched as his fists tightened - and she could feel his chest strained as his breath stilled. She knew she should let go and give the man the space he desired but just this once. She was going to be selfish. She may never get this chance again. so wanted to soak up each and every minute moment. Every detail. The feeling of the cotton against her skin - the warmth of his body, the erratic beat of his heart, the faint scents. Everything. Mari did her best to commit every piece to memory.

"Corvo." Mari said. She dare not look up at his face as she mentioned his friends name, it was hard enough for him to be here. "I-we ran into each other, and we kept up communication via messenger for a short while. I guess at one point it was his attempt to cheer me up." Her words were quiet, but steady. Somehow, just having him here had made the shaken tears and emotion melt away, again, ironic - considering the frozen tundra they stood in.

"Although...realistically...I suppose it would have been much more believable if it were the other way around. We don't really talk anymore. We both were too hotheaded I guess, but - he's doing well." It was then she lifted her head up to offer him a forced smile.

Mari a final squeeze of his hand before fully letting go - and stepping back. It was clear he did not want to be affectionate, and may not harbour the same feelings for her as she did for him. It was hard...but Mari had to learn to be ok with that, besides- he was here now. He was alive. "I wanted to be selfish, and be close. For a moment."

It was a moment she may not have again. Mari gave him a small nod of affirmation, raising her hand to clasp over the white material of her dress.

"Welcome back Thom."

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

"In the last moments, before it could kill me, I teleported out." He revealed his secret, something he would have told everyone sooner had he not slept like Rip Van Winkle. "When I woke up, it had been multiple years. Someone must have dragged me back to the Inn on the Ninth Floor and left me. It's all fuzzy, I can't remember any details."

He shook his head as she prolonged her embrace, much more for herself than for him, and his eyes went wide. "He's in here?" Alkor asked. "Is he still alive? Are any of the others trapped in the game?" he asked that so fervently, it almost seemed like he expected her to know all of his friends without ever introducing them.

If she had met Evan, then in all likelihood, more of them had entered the game as well. That was more to process than he expected.  "Nevermind, that's a silly question," he relented. 

He smiled as she spoke about closeness, and of selfishness, and he nodded. "That's fair," he murmured. "You've thought I was dead for so long."

Alkor reached up and patted the top of her head. It wasn't nearly as affectionate as her deep, long embrace, but he had never been good with closeness or affection. When his eyes opened, he let out a ragged breath. "To be fair, I thought I was dead, too. It was like a long, dark dream that wouldn't end. I wanted to wake up. I wanted..."

The words caught in his throat. I wanted to see Grandma.

When she greeted him by name, he shut his eyes once more.

"Thanks," he whispered. "Thanks, Amari."

@Mari

[Mari 1]

"If I knew, I would have dragged you back into the world of waking...." Mari mused, then - a real smile, soft- scared, and lasting for a flicker before fading. "Or perhaps I should have bought Corvo to kick up a storm...he's alive - and well. I'm not sure if the others are here or not...but if they are, then I'm sure they're together. When, or if - and only if you're ever ready to confront that. I'll message him." 

She wanted to tell him it wasn't a silly question, it wasn't foolish to wish to know how your friends were - it was honestly nice to see the sudden outburst of emotion from the man. It showed he wasn't completely lost - and that, even beneath the ever stoic facade, he was just as human as anyone else.

 

Mari knew what he wanted, he didn't even have to say it. She extended her free arm out to reach him but it paused midair.

No....

Affection was not something he wanted. Instead, it returned to her side. Her hand entwined into her dress as she clenched her fist around it. A poor substitute, but it would quell the temptation to reach out to him again.

"To see your grandma, right?" Mari asked. His golden gaze widened, Alkor slowly shut them then slowly nodded.

It was strange... he had been gone for years, she had so much to ask him, to tell him - and whilst everything felt so different. Many things felt very much the same. The distance between them was so small but it may as well have been miles. Mari pulled her gaze from him to look at the frozen lake they stood beside.  "You know, there are a few months a year where the frost melts, and you see the most beautiful white Koi dancing beneath the sheets of ice. If majestic creatures like that can survive trapped under the weight of that ice so long, then you can too. The ice was your slumber, that's melted now. So you're free to live your life."

Mari turned her gaze back to him. "But, what do you want to do with it now?"

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

He wasn't ready to face that. There were other demons ahead of him, each more pressing than his own personal desires. If he did see his friends in the future before they finished the game, he would be happy; but the most important thing was what he did now with the gift of life.

Slumber, experience, and suffering had taught him the meaning of something he discounted so readily before. He knew his grandmother would have been proud of his growth without ever having to hear it.

But Mari gave voice to that desire nonetheless. "It's the very last thing I can worry about," he said at last. "Grandmom isn't here. The game is the present, and the only way back to her is through it."

It was hard to say, but he forced it out no less.

"I finally understood, at some point just before we fought the Hydra. And I finally understand now, what I have to do. Why Alkor exists in this world." He tilted his head and smiled softly. "I wasn't wrong, but I was going about it the wrong way. These people trapped here, they all have lives. Most of them had lives that were important before they came to Aincrad. I only found the importance of mine once I got here."

He looked toward the frozen water and then gestured. "I have a duty to those people, to make sure they can have that back. And a duty to myself, and to Grandma, to make sure I get a chance to have a life of my own."

"I'm gonna fight."

@Mari

[Mari 1]

'A duty to everyone, with naught but a mention of myself'

The thought tore at hear heart, doubt digging into its already fragile flesh. Did he really not care? At all? He got to sleep for two years two [censored] years. Blissfully unaware of the pain and anguish that was happening around his form? A goddamn sleeping beauty. Maybe it'd have been better for him to stay the hell asleep, and not be subjected to the cruel reality of this godforsaken place.

Mari bit her tongue to snap her out of her dark thoughts. It would do her no good to travel further down that path. She took a few steps away from Alkor and crouched down in the snow, reaching out to let her fingers dance across the icy surface of the lake. The cold prickled her fingertips. This was what she was familiar with. The cold. Mayhaps his slumber wasn't all that peaceful. He said so himself, all he wanted to do was wake. She knew her dreams were filled with nightmares. Who was she to judge him? To assume his time away was any sort of reprieve. Besides, he was green. He wasn't hated. He had friends.

Alkors words had stung, even without him meaning to - everyone did indeed have lives out there, families to return to. Mari had found that importance here, but she had also lost it. His words were a cruel reminder of just how little she had waiting for her outside. It was part of why she gave up fighting on the frontlines. Why bother fighting for a world that hated her? The people of Aincrad wanted her dead. And on the outside she was just another statistic.

"You'd still fight huh?" She asked quietly, pressing her palm to the ice. "Yeh. That sounds just like you. I suppose you haven't changed."

There was a pause where no words were spoken. The both of them never deemed it necessary to fill it with needless chatter. The only things ever said between them, were meaningful. Important. It's a part of why she enjoyed his company so much. They shared many likenesses.

"I love you, you know." Mari said simply. She didn't wait for a reply, tracing circles in the ice with her palm she continued. "I never stopped. I often thought about those small moments we shared. For a long time it helped me. But no matter how hard I tried to push forward I was always dragged back. Multiple friends turned on me, wanting my head. Rumours spread that players would murder me if I were to battle at the frontlines, oh how easy it'd be to call it an accident."

Heh

"I can't even hate them for it. I just...stopped caring about everything else. You don't have to worry though. I expect nothing from you. You're alive Alkor. Whatever path you choose - I just hope it brings you back to your home."

[Alkor 0]

He pulled away to give her a very serious look. "I can't fault you, nor would I, for falling into despair. It's a deep, sinister pit with high, slick walls. You can't climb out of it alone. No one can."

I couldn't. I tried.

"But you're faced with a decision now. You can move forward, or you can stay hollow." He hadn't immediately responded to her confession of love. It wasn't anything she hadn't told him before, but it was an icy and bitter sentiment the way she offered it. Not warm, not inviting- it sounded like she meant to wound him with her emotions. Perhaps she did.

Alkor could forgive that after all the pain he had caused her. Instead, a slow and thoughtful response came to him after he chastised her for the lingering darkness. It was hopeless enough in Aincrad without adding fuel to the fire yourself.

"You're not alone," he said at last. "Not anymore. I don't disregard you when I say every life in this world matters. You're precious, even with all the things you've given up or had stolen from you. You're the only one who's forgotten that."

He exhaled sharply, uncertain of how to say what he felt. "This..." his voice trailed, and he stared up at the stars. "This isn't a good world for what I want for you,'' he said at last. "I want to see you thrive, and I want to see you live. We can't do either while Aincrad holds us hostage."

The words were chillier than he wanted them to be, but no less honest. He had always been honest, even when it hurt. "I care for you deeply," he said, "but I can't risk throwing you into that place. I don't know if I can bring you fully out of it now, let alone if I could pull you out again."

He pointed to the cursor over her head. "You need to find focus again. You've let yourself stay imprisoned for too long. Get rid of that, firstly," he spoke of her Player Killer Status. "It's time to start healing."

@Mari

 

 

[Mari 1]

Mari sighed, shaking her head as she lifted her hand to push pink strands up and away from her eyes. She forgot how inept he was with human interaction, with how cold he always sounded. The harsh bitterness of his words. Despite them reigning true - they were delivered with the dead tone of someone who couldn't care a less. Uncaring. Aloof. But, really - he must care to some extent, otherwise he wouldn't be here now. He was always so quick to walk away, and draw further in upon himself.

"I tell you I love you, and you act like I'm trying to wound you with it." Mari muttered as she finally stood. She gently dusted the snow from her powdered white dress. "I could throw those very words back at you - Grumpy." Mari gave him a small smile. "You forget all those who care for you, and want you safe. I can name at least two people beside myself in this world - Corvo, and Lessa. Don't doubt the impact you've made on those around you."

Her eyes rose up toward the sky, he once said midnight blue was one of his favorite colours - and that her eyes mirrored that very same sky. The nostalgia of the memory ebbed at her heart, filling it with a long missed and needed warmth.

Throwing her into that place?

"You know...." Mari began, her eyes dancing over the different constellations above - "I fought so very hard. I practically solo'd a floor boss - and for a time was reigning as the strongest person on Aincrad. Even now..." Mari lowered her eyes to her hands as she lifted them. Clenching then unclenching her palms. "Even now, after so much time away I could confidently step into the frontlines with my current stats and level. I know you want to fight - but...." Mari wrapped her arms around herself. She was afraid of loosing him again. The fear of that loss, the memories of him dying started to bubble up to the surface and the woman did all she could to hold back tears.

"I want to see you thrive too. Don't do anything stupid this time."


'I care for you deeply'

*Crunch*

    *Crunch*

          *Crunch*

 

Just three steps, three steps breached the gap between them. Mari knew he would flinch away. That touch bothered him. It made him uncomfortable. And if she did love him, perhaps she should respect that and keep her distance. But he said it himself, she needed to start healing. And that meant no longer shying away from things - no more second guessing herself.

A single hand reached out to cup his cheek, fingers gingerly dancing underneath his eyes.

"I'll get rid of it - and I'll rejoin the frontlines - but on the condition that you focus on yourself too - don't shut yourself away from others. Let those who care about you in." Mari offered him a wry grin, even with the tears dotting her eyes, it was genuine. "Oh, and add me to your friendlist again, so I can keep tabs on you."

@alkor

 

Edited December 11, 2019 by Mari

[Alkor 0]

He steeled himself for the caress that came next. Alkor had always shied away from touch from anyone but his grandmother, because she was the only one who had never raised her hand toward him. Years of distrust culminated in the form of a youth who wanted no closeness with others, and yet, not everything was about Thom. Sometimes, other people needed other things and they weren't always within comfort. Her hand touched him, and he let out a ragged sounding breath.

"I had a lot of time to think about it," he said at last. "It was dark, dreary, and lonely, but it left a lot of free time. I thought about who I was, and what I wanted; and I thought about whether or not I had been going about it the right way."

He put a hand over here. "Alkor exists for a reason. I have fundamentally grown as a person because I took on this role. I've accepted responsibilities, and I've set goals. More importantly, I've learned what it means to be a friend, and to care about others. All that time I spent running headlong into danger without a thought for my own safety, I was endangering the hearts and minds of those people who had surrounded me. For that, I can't begin to apologize."

He held her hand there for a few moments longer, then released it to swipe open his menu. He went to the Friends tab, and input her name- prompting the request to appear before her. "You have my word," he told her. "No more reckless endangerment."

@Mari

[Mari 1]

These moments were so few and precious to her, If Mari had it her way - and she had to steel herself to not have it her way - she'd have wrapped her free arm back around him and nestle her head into his chest the moment his hand clasped over hers. But she knew it took so much effort to even do this. Alkor was trying, even if it was out of some sort of sense of duty, at least he was trying.

"I know it makes you uncomfortable."

Her words were spoken softly, with hints of remorse and rue - "To be touched, even the slightest brush of fingertips steels you. I'm going to make a few things clear - I don't want to make you uncomfortable with my affection - but I'm also not going to let you off easy."

Her hand pulled away from his cheek as she opened up her menu, hitting accept on her friend list. It was nice... to finally see a name fill the empty space. A reminder, that she wasn't alone. Mari looked back to him as she folded her arms over her chest, slowly rubbing them - whilst her attire did help quell the bitter frost in the air - she still found goosebumps rising on her skin. "I'll still offer my affections, I won't force them - I won't..." She turned her gaze away, she wanted to - she wanted to remember what the sensation was - but she knew that whilst he cared greatly for her, these things may never be possible. Mari's lips parted as she closed her eyes, softly mumbling unspoken words as she reminisced the one kiss they shared.

"I won't go as far as to kiss you, nor do I expect you to share embraces." Her eyes opened as they rested back on him, trying to read his expression. "I will rarely seek out the warmth of an embrace, but - I will have my brief moments. Times where my hand will find its way to your cheek - or my fingers to yours. If you truly don't want that - tell me now. Because I do not want any confusion between us - if you want me to heal - if you want me to push forward again - then I want you to be completely honest with me."

Mari let one hand rest back at her side, the other started to glide through her inventory, "Comfort is a wonderful thing, but can also be a terrible tool when used the wrong way." She paused as she selected the violin from her inventory. It fell neatly into her hands.

"I don't want to misinterpret you saying you care for me deeply - and create an uncomfortable or undesirable situation for you. I know these sort of conversations bother you, so I don't want to focus too much on it... and I don't expect an immediate answer, its just...something I want you to think about."

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

He tensed once more as she spoke, and his eyes followed her. "If I'm going to be completely honest," he told her, "I need you to understand exactly who I am outside of a stream of data relayed back from my mind." Alkor placed his hands on either of her shoulders.

"I've never had anyone close to me other than a few friends, and my grandmother. Those friends understand that I'm not always able to find the strength to leave my room, or go outside, or even talk on the phone. They accept that, and it's because they accept it that I can call them true friends." He paused and let out a breath. "I got trapped inside a world where I can't get away from human interaction, and it absolutely overwhelms me."

He closed his eyes and shivered slightly. "Before, when I was just a character in a story, it was easy to disassociate that- but Thom, who I am, is the object of your affections, and he's not sure how to handle them, let alone reciprocate. That doesn't mean I don't care. It doesn't mean I don't feel anything. It means I don't understand any of it."

When he reopened his eyes, he looked down into hers. "I don't want to give you an answer now, because I don't want to disappoint you, or hurt you worse than you already have been hurt. We're friends, and I most definitely don't want to throw that away. If there's more than that, we'll find it in time. The very most important thing right now is that you find yourself again, because with or without me, you have a life to go back to when all of this is over."

He managed a soft smile. "And I want to be sure we get to meet on the other side."

@Mari

[Mari 1]

"You told me parts of that before, idiot."

Her words held no venom or ire, rather, they carried the jovial tone of a friend. "I know very well the kind of life you lead - not just from what you've told me, but from Corvo too...and please, don't blame him for it - reminiscing was our way of coping." Mari tapped her lips with the bow of her violin. "What was it that he said again..." After three gentle taps Mari flashed Alkor a coy smile. "Ah - that's right he said 'how the hell did Thom land a catch like you?' " Mari shrugged. "I wish I knew myself. It'd be easier for sure - being smitten with someone who actually knew how to smile once in a while. But that's not entirely you, and I'm fine with that."

It was an attempt to ease the tension in the air, the weighted feeling between the two of them. "As I said. I don't need an immediate answer." Mari stepped away from him, letting his hands fall away from her shoulders. A part of her wanted to remind him that she didn't exactly have a life to go back to after all this.  She couldn't believe that, not yet. Even with his promise that they'd meet on the other side.

"I'll hold you to that promise." Mari said as she jabbed him lightly with her bow.

"Now, you did interrupt my ritual, but - it was one in memorium of you, so I think I can forgive that - you don't have to stay. I'm sure I've made you uncomfortable as is...but playing this..." Mari lifted the worn violin up. "Soothes me."

Another step away, and a deep breath - then she closed her eyes and began to play - the song was close to her heart - and when she asked that question, which felt like so long ago...

I wonder...if we could play together....

 

She wanted it so terribly so to be this song.

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

"Tch," he looked away as she joked about his inability to smile, scratching the back of his head. "I'm not that bad..."

His voice trailed off as she pulled away and asserted that she did not need an immediate answer. She was insistent, he gave her that. Not wanting to hurt her, Alkor had given her the knowledge that there was still something. Right and right now were not always synonymous, after all.

He just didn't know what right was for himself, and it wasn't fair to answer for either of them. "I don't plan on dying," he reiterated. "not until I'm old and gray, and outside of this damn game. So, you better not either."

Alkor furrowed his brow when she said he'd interrupted her ritual, and he wondered how many times she had come to this place to play. She said he didn't have to say, but it would be wrong not to. After all, she had meant to play it for him.

He should hear it, at least once.

@Mari

[Mari 1]

"You are that bad, but only sometimes." She retorted back.

Then it was silent - breathe in, breath out - steady yourself, this time is no different than all the other times - he isn't here watching your back. Alkor is not comfortable, he'd take his chance, and he'd leave...right? He's done that before. But he wants to change - maybe he would stay.

Mari wasn't sure if Alkor had stayed or not. A part of her wanted him to. Because after all these years, all these times of coming here. Every time she had played the tune. Not once did she have someone listen. And most surely not once, was that someone the man the song was intended for. This piece was meant to be played with an accompaniment of a piano - Mari wasn't sure if he'd recognize it. But that didn't matter.

Halfway through the song, Mari had to take a deep breath and hold it. Here was when she normally began to cry, the damn crescendo - this song was so bittersweet. Something she hadn't told anyone but her ex-husband... a song her grandpa had taught her on violin, one of the first pieces she performed on stage. Something she performed at his bedside when he was ill with cancer. Something so very close to her heart.

Details like this she couldn't possibly share with Alkor, they were too personal - and too close to home for him.

As the song finally ended. Mari released her breath  and lowered the violin. With a few quick motions it was back in her inventory. Dare she turn around and see if he was still there?

She had to at some point...

Mari pivoted on a single foot, and there he was...an ashen figure standing amondst fields of white.

"I guess that was my first performance in quite a while."

 

@Alkor

 

Edited December 12, 2019 by Mari

[Alkor 0]

It was always soothing to Thom when he got to listen to beautiful music. Anything with strings, winds, brass, or just a skilled voice could take him away from his own mind for a short time. Mari had talent with the violin as she had shown before, but the depth that went into this particular song struck him. 

The way she played it reminded him of one of his grandmother's favorite songs. It echoed into the river of eternity and dragged up swirling emotions that had long clung to the bottom. He reclined himself as much as he could, then closed his eyes and allowed for the music to let him drift.

When she finished, she looked back to him. "You didn't do too bad for someone out of practice with having an audience," he praised faintly. His expression was ever gentle, serene. "It's a beautiful song," he added.

"I think it's missing something, though," he correctly put two and two together, for once. She mentioned wanting to play together with him earlier; and by ear, he could tell this piece was meant for accompaniment. One day, he'd have to learn it.

[Mari 1]

Mari nodded. "Yeh - it has a piano accompaniment - my grandp- I mean..." Mari turned her gaze away. She had almost so readily told him about it all. The poor guy had enough on his plate. Then again. What was the use of holding back anymore? Why? If she didn't say it now it'd only plague the both of them at a later date. "My Grandpa taught me the violin and he'd play the piano. I honsetly kinda hated it when I was younger. I wanted to go out and play, but now - I'm really grateful for it." She said with a small smile.

"So the song...it's close to my heart..."

Mari pursed her lips. She had to do something...ever since mentioning his name guilt had ebbed at her. She would message Corvo - Not about Alkor, a promise is a promise. But to make amends.
 

Quote

TO: Corvo
Subject: What's Brown and Sticky?
Content:
The stick I just pulled out my ass...For what it's worth. I'm sorry.

 

Having sent that, Mari approached Alkor again, being sure to kept a respectable breadth apart. "I'm...glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the compliment. Honestly When I started this game I was a performer - I wanted to support others in battle with my music - but A violin isn't exactly the best instrument to take into battle and-"

Mari blinked. She had received another message from Corvo, that was quicker than expected. She knew it was rude to be messaging him, especially with Alkor right in front of her, so as Mari opened up the message she explained herself. "I just messaged Corvo - to apologize for being a b**ch to him and I..." Her eyes read over his message and they widened. A deep red hue crept across her cheeks.

 

Quote

To: Mari
Subject: RE: What's Brown and Sticky?
Content:
Really? I thought it was my d**k ;)
 

 

"OF all the goddam...." Mari stopped talking to feverishly reply to him.
 

Quote

To: Corvo
Subject: Re:RE: What's Brown and Sticky?
Content:
I'd rather something bigger, thanks.
Jerk.

 

"Geez what the hell is his problem?" Mari asked as she covered her flushed cheeks. "All I did was try to apologize and -" Her eyes fell to Alkor, the ever silent, ever patient man who had somehow won her heart.

"Sorry...." She stammered as she knealt down into the snow. "I thought about what you said and I decided I wanted to reach out to the one other person who didn't try to literally kill me. Another ping, and as her eyes read over it Mari groaned, gesturing with an outstretched hand to beckon Alkor closer - to read the exchange. "I take that back, he's killing me with embarrassment, or frustration. Or....something..."

 

Another reply popped up from him and the woman was almost too afraid to read it. Still, she reached out ahd read it.

To: Mari
Subject:ReRE: What's Brown and Sticky?
Content:
Yeh. Good luck finding something, but if you can't you know where to find me ;) ;)

The pinkette groaned loudly and bought her knees up to her face, she burried it into them. "How?" She mumbled. Then beckoned Alkor closer with her arm, pointing to the HUD - urging him to read the exchange. "Alk...how do you deal with this? What do I even say to that? All I wanted to do was apologize. The jerk."

Note: I have permission from Alkor to use his Corvo character in these exchanges.


@Alkor
 

 

 

 

 

Edited December 12, 2019 by Mari

[Alkor 0]

He watched her enter into a face paced string of messages and blinked. It almost seemed like she'd made a good friend in his absence, if not for how exasperated she seemed. When she beckoned him to look at the conversation, he seemed altogether unsurprised. "Honestly, I thought he'd be a little tamer when it came to actually talking to a woman, but I stand corrected."

He gave a slight shrug. "If you go back at him, he has to come back at you. Just how he is. He gets enjoyment out of being an absolute lunatic." Alkor smirked after a moment. "But it looks like you two are having a lot of fun together, honestly. I wouldn't say his shenanigans are altogether a bad thing, given how you play right into them."

Corvo had always been much more outgoing than Alkor, if not exactly the most gentlemanly of characters in a roleplaying game. He was very different in the real world, a more modest person who rarely let his Id run wild. That was what made MMOs so refreshing and soothing to the red-haired lad. Alkor and Corvo got along because they were polar opposites- the no-nonsense, level headed player, and the murderhobo without a filter. Yin and yang.

"In fairness, you brought in on yourself by making that first joke. He wasn't likely to pass up the opportunity to turn it around on you." Alkor felt a tinge of relief at the knowledge one of his good friends was alive and well. It was hard knowing that the other man was inside this world as well, but he seemed to be in good spirits.

"If you change the subject, he'll probably make a few more jokes and then get tired of it when you stop fighting back."

@Mari