[PP-F22] Ghosts of the Past...

[Mari 1]

One day the light of love, though it seems far away, will shine again in your eyes
Transcend and rise above
But there is only one dream and its been ripped at the seem
Will this world end in ruin, and I lose all I love?

Mari had never been to the 22nd floor of Aincrad. Even so - she hadn’t explored it too much. The woman lay sprawled out, amidst lush green grass beside a large circular lake. Gone were the thorns on pink armour, gone was the pink hair, all that remained from that time - was the ever cursed orange player icon. Spinning evermore above her head hiding sinister deeds and tales.

Mari wore a simple white sweater, and black boots - the sweater hung long and low to sit just above her knees. The woman wasn’t a fool - she was wearing shorts, albeit hidden. Orange hair nestled around her head like a golden halo. The skies above were cloudy, and rumbling with the threat of an oncoming storm.

Mari was trying so very hard to push through. To be ok. To stand on her own two feet but it was so hard. It felt like every step forward she took. Every small smile that she managed to genuinely wear - was ripped from her - as she was pushed back several feet.

Back to where she belonged. Back to the darkness, back to her isolation and her despair. Because no matter how hard she tried to grasp for the light and reach redemption… she found herself failing.

“Have I sinned that much?” Her question wasn’t answered. No one was here - she was alone. Even though Alkor was back. Mari should be happy right? So why did she feel more alone than ever before?

Was it because she found out that Alkor was just playing a role in the past? That all the affections were more or less one sided? She had fallen for him, but he was simply trying to fill a role he felt she needed. He didn't feel the same. She doubted he ever could, not just for her - but for anyone. As much as she wanted to hate him, to decry his name and tell the whole world of his wrongdoings she couldn't.

Because despite the fact that he was a man who ran his long calloused hands through her hair as he whispered the words 'I Love you' to her...who had died and was now back from the dead could barely look at her, told her that he deeply cared for her. Only to cough and avoid her gaze, to shy away. A man who could barely stand the touch of her fingers against his hand...it was a man she still cared deeply for. He told her she should not love him, and yes. That was true. But that would take her time. A man who, despite his terrible fear of others, tried his best for her - that meant something. Right?

A crack of thunder was the heavens only warning before rain began to fall. All Mari could do was shield her eyes as a bitter laugh left her lips. If this was her retribution, it was a pretty poor attempt at one. The cold was something she was used to.
 

Edited January 7, 2020 by Mari

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru had been wandering the floors for quite awhile. His mind was clouded, and things troubled him immensely. There was a lot on his shoulders as of late, and not all of them were by choice. Some he was forced to handle. From this next floor boss, to the IBS, to having to stay strong for others. He had to do his best to stay strong and keep his head high. But in reality, something was off, something he had tried to fix countless times, but every attempt always ended up in failure.

He felt alone.

The loneliness was overwhelming, and that's why he was travelling. He wasn't doing these trips to fight or to grind, he just was trying to find... himself. He didn't need to worry about monsters, as he could easily escape their grasp with stealth, and continue on his way. It was one of the highlights of Shadowed Path, it made things easier for him to be alone. But this was also a burden to him some days. The time's he's spent in stealth, waiting and being so silent, had started to bubble over into his own attitude. He had become even more quiet than he used to be, becoming distant. He had taken steps to open up with people, being him. And he was doing great. But when Kit left him, when she disappeared from his life, he took ten steps backwards, retreating into himself again, and he was back to where he started. It was mentally frustrating, but fear had overtaken his mind and he just wanted to be alone.

It wasn't healthy, but it helped him cope.

He was okay now, he had accepted his third heart ache in this game, and he had moved on. It still hurt, it was still a sore spot, but it didn't hurt as much as it had before. His time finding the views on each floor had been good. It helped him to see the lighter side of things within this game. He saw things here that he would have never seen in real life, some things that were impossible to see in the real world. This game was a prison, but it was a beautiful prison.

In his own thoughts, he had honestly forgotten where he was. He heard the roaring thunder above him, and it's what brought him back to reality. The rain started to fall around him, his cloak starting to get wet. He brought out an umbrella from his inventory and covered himself in it. It was a paper umbrella from the chinese new year event he had been at awhile ago. it was effective as the paper wasn't affected by the rain, thankfully. However, he noticed something- or someone, on a hill nearby, laying down and getting soaked. Hikoru fought with himself. Being away from people and avoiding towns for awhile makes him want to avoid them entirely. But, the person wasn't taking any affect from the rain. Even though <<Survival>> was a thing, it still didn't keep you warm.

For once, Hikoru decided to do the human thing and be kind.

He went over quietly, his feet light in the grass, barely making a sound. as he neared closer, he saw that they had an orange crystal. At this point in his career, an orange crystal was just a warning to prepare his stealth. He had no fear of them, because if they tried to kill him and actually started to become a threat, he could stun them and escape. He came over, and held the umbrella over the person's head.

"It's cold. You ought to stay warm."

[Mari 1]

Blue eyes shifted to a figure that stood over her - blocking out the dreary greys of the wailing sky above.  Black hair shielded his eyes from her view. He wore a long sleeved blue overcoat and black gloves - and in said gloved hands the man held what looked like a flimsy paper umbrella. Still, it looked like it kept him dry. Mari sat as she pushed back orange bangs out of her face. The wet of the rain let her fringe stick to the top of her head, where it would usually fall back into place.

The stranger told her it was cold, and that she ought to stay warm. His voice rolling and deep - but, if Mari were honest, it sounded like he was holding back? Restrained. He had a restrained tone about him.

"Mmmm...." Came Mari's lethargic response as she shifted her eyes away from him. He hadn't attacked her yet. Yet but that could change. Even if he were to strike, Mari was sure she'd be able to withstand it - then she'd simply use a teleportation crystal and leave. "I'd rather feel cold than nothing." Came Mari's final reply.

God that sounds depressing.

The woman shook her head and drew in a breath to let out a long sigh. "I don't mind. I'm used to the cold. Until recently I've been cooped up alone on the 10th floor. So really, I'm just trading one cold place for another." Her eyes shifted away from him and turned back to the sky. "At least here...I can feel the breeze - and see the world above. Even if its mocking me right now." Mari snorted. How conceited did that sound? It wasn't raining just because of her.  "Not many come right up to someone with an orange crystal...." Mari mused. "I'm not sure if you're stupid, have a death wish, or have an inane curiosity."

It didn't occur to her that he was simply trying to be nice, because Mari didn't have that. She didn't have people be 'nice' to her. Those that had, had lied. Had wanted something. So why would she expect anything earnest from anyone?

@Hikoru

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru felt the tone shift as the orange-haired- girl? Oh, it was a girl. As the orange-haired girl looked into, or at least attempted to look, into his eyes. Her blue eyes gazed into him, and then she turned over, expressing her carelessness of the cold. He kept quiet, then she turned and explained herself. The 10th floor eh? He had lived there a time as well, when he had an orange crystal atop his head. Amazingly, he had never met this girl in his time of being that. Which was odd, but hey, it happens. Floor 10 is a big floor, and he had found a secluded spot. He listened for a time, and shook his head.

"Trust me, I know that floor all too well. I get how you feel." He spoke, still holding the umbrella above her head. His cloak was getting soaked, but he didn't feel it. She said he was surprised for the most part that he walked up to her. Hikoru shook his head. "If you knew who I was, you'd understand that I don't fear anyone other than the game itself. You could try to kill me, but you wouldn't get very far." He spoke confidently. Nothing in this game other than the actual bosses scared him anymore, but even then as long as he wasn't alone, he would be fine. The girl was still being stubborn. So, he sat down, sticking the paper umbrella in the ground between them, mostly covering her, half of the umbrella only covering himself.

"And even if you wanted to kill me, I don't think i'd fight it too much."

[Mari 1]

Mari didn't move nor flinch when he stuck the umbrella into the ground. He flicked his now damp coat up and out the way then proceeded to sit next to her. She gave him a questioning look, but didn't voice any concerns. So he knew the floor? Mari's eyes narrowed as she studied him. She...didn't recognize him, but - she could say that about practically everyone here. Beside Alkor, Or Lessa - and the others she had recently met Mari could safely say she didn't recognize anyone. "I haven't seen you around." She said simply. "But...I shut myself away in isolation, sorta like some f**ked up self imposed imprisonment. So...it doesn't surprise me. I locked my store so no one could enter, and I never left. We can't die of starvation, only feel the pain. Things change though..."

Mari absently began picking tufts of wet grass up as she listened to him. She didn't even know his name, nor he hers - yet the conversation had grown heavy. Emotions taught and weighed down by a thickening depressive air. "If I knew who you were? I'd say you're a little arrogant, but you carry yourself like you have the right to be ...at least." Mari said. "I'm..." She paused. Hesitating to tell him her name. The last few times she said who she was, she was met with ire. Instead, Mari once again fell silent.

The next words he spoke though...

'And even if you wanted to kill me, I don't think I'd fight it too much."

The hell? The hell was his problem? Who just said that? Mari lifted her hand ready to slap some damn sense into him. "The hell is wrong with you?"

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru listened quietly to what she had to say, how she had taken care of herself. It was true, food wasn't a necessity in this game, but the hunger and the pain was still true. It was something that forced you to eat, but you could go days without food, weeks, even months if you were that dangerous. But it took a toll on you mentally and physically, you would feel drained and always be in pain. It was a rough place to be, and he had never been able to stay like that for long. "Well, I've never been able to do that, so i'll give you that as a win." He said sarcastically, attempting to lighten the mood. "Plus, i'm good at hiding, so i'm sure you wouldn't have found me if you went looking." He spoke silently.

She said that he sounded arrogant, and he just shook his head. Of course, he probably did. It was a big statement he spoke, and something he just... knew, wouldn't happen. But for others, it could sound conceited about his own strength. He didn't mean it that way, but it probably came out like that without him realizing. "I just... speak from experience." He spoke, avoiding eye contact as the rain continued to pour from the heavens. 

He had apparently sparked some anger from the woman, as she lifted a hand and attempted to slap him. In an instant, he unsheathed his dagger, grabbing her wrist firmly and stopping her arm in place, the dagger at her throat in an instant. He held her life in his hand for a brief moment, the hum of his Holy enchanted dagger the loudest thing around them. He didn't speak a word, nor did he even make eye contact. He held this for a moment, then spoke.

"I told you, you wouldn't get very far." He spoke. Then he pulled away the dagger, flipping it in his hand and sheathing it, lightly letting go of her arm. He retreated to his original position. He sighed and looked up. "So, you didn't finish with your name."

[Mari 1]

His words were a threat, a warning. As he told her she wouldn't get very far. Mari's eyes narrowed as she challenged him. Her other hand grabbing the wrist that held the dagger, pulling it closer to her throat - just enough so the blade touched her skin, but did not strike her. The two sat in stilled silence for mere seconds, but they ticked over like minutes upon hours. She could feel her heart beating hard and fast in her chest, and her breath was caught in her throat. His action illicit a course of fresh adreneline to rush through her body.

"Looks to me like you would fight it." She chided. "Very much so." Mari said, again challenging him. She could see his eyes now. A radiant silver, sharpened as though they too, could cut right through her. "Maybe next time don't tote the line of suicidal death so easily." She said finally as he pulled away, flipping it expertly to rest in his inventory. "It pisses me off..." Mari said as she opened up her own inventory in a casual manner. "But I probably shouldn't have tried to slap you. My bad." It wasn't exactly an apology, but it was probably the best she could muster right now.

"You're... a dagger user too." Mari finally breathed - subconsciously rubbing her throat. "I don't think I see many of us. Since the Dagger doesn't have much AoE." She pulled out her own Dagger; the Demonic drop she got from defeating the Orochi. Mari held out the weapon, balancing the tip of it on her palm. The blade was a dark crimson, as though it had been soaked in blood - and the hilt two coiling snakes around each other in obsidian black. "Despite the fact you had it at my f**king throat" She seethed. "It is nice to see."

Mari let the blade fall out of her hand and uselessly to the floor before she picked it up and put it away. "As for my name? Mari. And yours Mr Suicidal Strong Man?"

@Hikoru
 

Edited January 7, 2020 by Mari

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru was surprised at her ferocity. Instead of cowering in fear, she grabbed his own wrist, pulling the dagger closer to her own throat. She held it, egging him on to push just a little farther, just a little bit of pressure to deal some damage. He however restrained himself, not wanting to fall to that level. She eventually let go, and he sheathed it as she spoke to not joke about suicide. 

"Suicide is going to a boss raid without buffs and armor, going in with just your weapon and gaining the highest hate. I am just done fighting. I'm tired." he spoke quietly, his eyes the only thing showing emotion. Pain, hurt. That's all they could show. She tried to give an apology, and he just shrugged. It was silent for a few moments, then she spoke about his dagger. She pulled out her own dagger and he looked. It was an interesting design, but he liked it. 

"Indeed, we are a dying breed." he chuckled halfheartedly. She introduced herself, and his name he remembered instantly. From the first days he finally left the first floor settlement. "Hm, so you're Mari... My, it's been a long time since i saw you." he spoke. He didn't move, but his tone changed to amusement. "You probably don't remember me, but i watched you kill someone a long time ago" he spoke quietly. "I looked different, just started out on grinding my way to the frontlines, and you were the first person to strike fear in my heart. " he chuckled. "not the last one, but the first." he sighed and held out his hand for a handshake

"My name is Hikoru, and I forgive you."

[Mari 1]

"Whoever it was, I'm sorry you had to witness that." Mari said when he told her he had watched her take the life of another. "No one should ever be subject to that. You....shouldn't forgive me for it Hikoru." Mari said softly as she reached out to gently shake his hand. His grip was surprisingly strong and warm.  "I doubt anyone would be striking fear into your heart now, eh?" Mari tried to joke, but her tone fell flat as she let go of his hand and turned her eyes to the lake before them.

"There is no nice way to paint it. I'm a murderer - I don't know about others, but if we ever leave this game...I plan to turn myself in to the authorities. It's unforgivable, especially to the extent I have done." Mari shook her head, she did not want to have to relive those painful memories. She was lost, scared, alone - and continually attacked. She was nothing more than a frothing animal snapping because she was cornered, but it was never an excuse.

Mari related to his words, she related to them far, far too well. Hikoru taked about how tired he was, how running into the frontlines virtually defenceless was suicidal. "Just tired huh..." Came her response. "I...can really understand that."    Mari bought her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and let her head nestle atop her knees. "I'm tired...of betrayals. People pretending to be my friend, pretending to be my lover. I'm tired of people and of trying to play nice...." Mari shut her eyes and sighed. "I'm so tired, exhausted...but I don't want to give up just yet, and I don't think you should either... maybe that's why I felt you deserved a good slap."

Mari turned her soft eyes to Hikoru, watching him. She honestly had no memory of him... and a part of her felt guilty for that, but perhaps it would have been better that way. Mari wished she could forget many others. She wished she could forget Lowenthal, and Life, she wished she could forget Alkor, and at times - she wished she could forget her daughter. But if she forgot all those people.... all the times she had her heart torn and ripped to pieces, would she be the same person she is today?

The youth before her clearly needed some sort of support, and Mari was definitely not one who could really give it. Still... she found herself reaching out to place a hand over his and offering it a short but reassuring squeeze. "You're alive now." She said softly. "You're warm, and you're breathing. I don't know what has you down, and it may be suffocating but you're breathing now."

....Yeh...

She really wasn't good at comforting.

Mari sighed as she pulled her hand away. "I'd be hypocritical to tell you the joys of live and how wonderful it is to have your heart still beat or some poetic sh*t like that. Just...I unno.... You're here now. So am I."

@Hikoru

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru listened Mari quietly explain that he shouldn't have to forgive her, and she told him that she planned to bring herself into the proper authorities. He listened with a soft look in his eyes, feeling sad for her. To kill a person in this game meant many things, but one thing always lined up with whoever did such a thing: they were broken. They were hurting, and they felt that lashing out at another would make things better. He had been guilty of it towards an NPC. It earned him an orange cursor, and he knew that the NPC would respawn, but for the rest of the quest line, it was repeated over and over again that he was a murderer, that he had killed a brother, a friend in cold blood. It opened his eyes to the realization that, this is what would happen if he really did kill an actual person, not just a program.

"No, I feel like I should..." he spoke quietly. "I know that the world can never forgive you. What you did was wrong, I cannot deny that. But, seeing you do that gave me a reason to get stronger, so I can protect those around me. There was a time I wanted to avenge that young girl, but now here I am and I can't even think of hurting you at all. I have no reason, no drive. Because now I am in your shoes in that moment. I'm stronger, I could easily wipe you out and avenge all that you've killed..." He shook his head. "But then, would I be a better person? Or would I be just as bad as you used to be, and all other PK players are?" He asked. "So, I forgive you where others may not. Because everyone deserves forgiveness, because people can change."

He quietly sat there, listening to what she had to say, and realizing that she was right. For now, he was alive. Asking for death was something he promised himself he wouldn't do. But here he was, thinking about it. He sighed and nodded quietly. "You're right, i'm sorry. Thanks for that." he spoke quietly. He looked at her. "And i'm not one to turn my back on others. So if you need someone to trust... You can trust me." He spoke, genuineness in his voice.

[Mari 1]

"I wouldn't blame you for wanting to avenge her - that...was my greatest mistake..." Mari  assumed he meant Aubrey, because if he had seen Evelyn - he would have known that it was an accident. Uriel had literally thrown the child in the line of fire. "It's what prompted me to live in isolation, but someone wise told me that if I were to die easily, it'd spit in the face of those who have passed away. It takes a strong person to come to the decisions and realizations that you've made."

"I appreciate the olive branch Hikoru, but I'm not one to easily trust others." Mari watched the rain hit the lake. She didn't like having to continually bring this up, yet here she was, doing just that. "The last few times I did it didn't work out well for me. I had friends literally try to stab me in the back - all for a pitiful single unique item. I trusted them...I'm trying to learn to get back out there but..." Mari sighed. "It's not something that can just happen overnight. But.... I want to try."

Mari lifted her hand to open her HUD, she couldn't exactly put all her trust in him now, but that didn't mean that she could learn. And he was so very clearly hurting. So Mari did the same thing he did, she extended a friendly offer. This time, in the literal sense. Mari sent Hikoru a friend request. The sounds of the rain began to fade, although thunder still rumbled above them.

"It takes a lot to destroy a spirit. If I may ask..." Mari began, as she turned her eyes to Hikoru's silver gaze. "What made you give up?"


@Hikoru

 

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru just chuckled lightly at her words. She truly thought of herself as evil. He didn't blame her, what she did is always a toll on the mind, he should know. She spoke that he was strong, and he just shook his head. "I just know right from wrong, some lose that in this game." He spoke quietly. The rain didn't let up around them, but it was still peaceful, and they were alone, away from prying ears. For once he was okay with just being a little broken, a little frustrated at everything, and this moment was something that would probably be kept between them until the grave. He enjoyed that thought, that for once he didn't need to try and pry to get information to sell off to the highest bidder. This was genuine, and something he could keep to himself.

She said that she wouldn't trust him, due to past things. He just nodded silently. "I understand far more than you realize." That was all he spoke about the subject. A few moments passed, and finally, the rain let up a little bit. He looked up at the clouded sky, the rumble of thunder booming within the atmosphere, when a ping brought him back to earth. It was a friend request, from Mari. He smiled quietly. Baby steps, that's what this symbolized from a broken person. He accepted it quietly, and then she asked what he had been hoping wouldn't be asked.

"Well..." He tried to stop himself, but she had been open with him, so he should do the same. "I have worked for a long time to get where I am, almost at the top compared to many others. I'm strong, i'm trusted enough by the people around me to have a leadership role, and i'm a model for those that want to be on the frontlines." he spoke, then stared at the river for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "But, the top is lonesome, and it can be brutal at times. I've been alone to fight mental battles, emotional, and most of the time physical." he chuckled. "And I do okay at it. But, three times, I have... attempted, to not rely on myself." he spoke. "...and each time, that person has disappeared from my life, after promises of love, they have left me to rot." He spoke quietly, the pang in his heart growing. "The first betrayed me, the second abandoned me, and the third.... deserted me." He spoke, a small tear forming in his eye and dripping down the right side of his face. "I act like things are okay, so that other's don't worry..." He lowered his head.

"But it still hurts."

[Mari 1]

,I know my right from wrong, some loose that in this game'

 Those words were so true, Mari had seen it...experienced it first hand. There was a time where she had completely snapped - acting like a complete and utter madwoman. That was back when Life had betrayed her...damn...just how many of her friends were actually her friends?  The only one she could really consider was Alkor, and that was a damn shame. Not because of him, but because he was the only one. Thunder clashed above, followed by streaks of lightning that danced across the night sky. The two watched the rolling clouds, reflected in the shimmering lake in front of them. It was...peaceful. Even with the heavy atmosphere between them. Mari didn't feel suffocated. Maybe, she really did need a therapy session - but instead of in the form of two prying girls, it was in someone who understood her. Despite how much younger he was.

"People see the top as...some sort of shining beacon - an unobtainable ray of hope...but it's not." Mari said quietly. "It's scary, its lonely, and people are so ready to topple each other over all in the name of some sort of acclaim." Mari spoke from experience. She had been there. It felt like so long ago but she had been in that position, back then it was so toxic. "People want to see you fail." She said, as she recalled the time the entire Azure Brigade left the frontlines, purely because Mari was the one in charge and heading the meeting. Despite that though...she had succeeded and fought successfully against the 11th Floor boss.

"It won't stop hurting. But that's not a bad thing." Mari said as she finally turned to him. "Because it shows how much they meant to you, and how human you still are. Recently...I had someone I loved and cherished tell me that their love for me wasn't entirely real...That they were just words and actions used to placate me, because he thought that's what I needed to hear...that..." Mari clenched the grass. She thought she was getting over Alkor, but the pain tore at her chest and made it difficult to breathe. "It almost shattered me. I was ready to hide away again...but I can't...I'm just...glad he is alive."

Mari reached out and grabbed Hikoru's shoulders, and before he could really protect she placed his head into her lap.  "You're not rotten..." Mari said gently as she shifted bangs of wet hair away from his eyes. "Right now things aren't ok. To hell what others think. Here, things aren't ok. So lash out, cry. Shout. Stab me. Do what makes you feel better in this moment."  Mari had a bad habbit of sometimes, forgetting her place, and forgetting that those younger than her didn't need to be mothered. She did similar things with Esther, and with Jacob. To her, Hikoru was someone who clearly needed support, and she was just in the right frame of mind, and in the right place to give it.

"It's not ok, but it will be..." Mari said as she began to brush the knots from his hair with her fingers.

@Hikoru

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru quietly agreed as she spoke about how the top was. While it wasn't as bad as it used to be, there were still moments where people were trying to take him down, wanting to see him fail, to be killed by another and pass on the Unique skill to some other poor soul who thought that having it would make him stronger, make him the best. It only makes him feel isolated in the end, that's the curse of a Unique Skill. He sighed and could only nod, as no more words would form.

It was the next action that caught Hikoru off guard. She had grabbed him and set his head down in her lap, slowly telling him what the situation was, and what it would be. She played with his hair like a mother would, and she told him to let out his frustration. He wanted to scream, he wanted to lash out, get his anger physically like most men would. But Hikoru... he was different. All he could find himself to do was cry. It started with silent sobbing, but soon evolved into true tears, tears rolling down his face as if the rain was still pouring above his head. He couldn't find any other way to convey emotion but this, and his body shuddered between the choking sobs that emanated from his throat. He hadn't cried or let out his emotions in a long time, and now they were finally bubbling to the surface. He couldn't stop himself, no words came from him, just tears, just crying, just raw emotion that he couldn't help but let go.

And for the first time, he felt okay to do so.

[Mari 1]

Oh how quickly the mighty can fall...

Because the mighty, those in the spotlight - those on the top - often carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, not only that, but they carry the burden of all those beneath them. It was not a position Mari would want herself in. She was in all honesty expecting Hikoru to fight, to scream at her about how embarrassing the action was. Maybe scream 'You're not my mum' in a typical rant that she'd feel completely justified. There was no anger, no bile, no barbed words.

Instead, he rolled over and cried, tears spilling over his cheeks. He was taller than her - so the sight must have been an odd one. But there was no one here besides Mari and he. His body curled around hers and shuddered. Mari hadn't realized it, but she had began to sing gentle soft words trying to lull the turbulent emotions that beat against his psyche like waves. Small thumbs danced beneath his eyes as they wiped away the tears, even as more replaced them. Mari was ok with this, she let him have his moment that he so sorely needed. There was no restraint to his heartache.

In this moment Hikoru wore it as proudly as he could. He was lost in his way, deep in the stories of Aincrad- he had lonesome follies and the pain was enveloping him. His tears and quiet sobs were a chorus of pain.  But just like the rain had fallen, and passed. So too would this. Mari returned to gently patting his head. Reminding him no matter who or where people were. No one was ever truly alone.

Even her.

@Hikoru

Edited March 7, 2020 by Mari

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru's tears streamed like a roaring river for what seemed like an eternity. He couldn't hold back what emotions he had been hiding, suppressing underneath his cloak, underneath the mask of being okay for the others around him. It had become a damn, and finally the cracks that had been forming over time, the small leaks had turn into roaring rapids, releasing what was held back for so long. He was not able to form words, his mouth busy trying to keep up with breathing, making sure he didn't become unconscious. If he did that here with a random person, he was unsure where he would end up.

After a long time, he finally regained some control over himself, the rapids running into a cool stream once more within his mind. He didn't move from this spot. He calmed down his breathing as Mari sang a song, playing with his hair. He felt as if this was his mother, and this was one of the many, many things he missed from the real world, and he didn't want it to end. He just sat for a few more moments, until she either stopped or she spoke, feeling his body ease up from the tension of his everyday life, and enjoying the feeling of a motherly love, a caring for a person like a child. He was still young, and he missed his family. In this moment, Hikoru missed the outside world even more than he did before.

[Mari 1]

Mari looked up at the sky, even as she spoke she didn't stop her gentle ministrations - truth be told, she didn't even realize she was still detangling his hair. "When the skies are dark, and full of rain - it usually feels like we're drowning. We can't breathe, we can't see. We can't hear. We panic. But it can't rain all the time..." Her eyes drifted across the sky, seeing bits of blue poke through the rain clouds. She didn't know what to say to him, how to comfort him.

Not when she felt irrevocably alone herself.

Alkor.... if I could go back to when we first met, I thought over and over about all those happy days, and how it feels so painful now. I wonder if it'd be better if we hadn't met. But I remember when I was anxious, you were there gently squeezing my hand. Completly embracing me with who you were, your kind words...how could I possibly take that away from me, from us? Even if it weren't entirely what you felt... there had to be something right? Even if there isn't now... I am happy we had those moments. They helped me. They guided me. I'm happy to just be your friend now.

"Sometimes I thought....wouldn't it be nice...." Mari began. "If the word goodbye could be forgotten?" Her gentle words asked him. "But, then... I think without those goodbyes, those gentle caresses - the fluttering warmth...it wouldn't be as strong."

Mari glanced down at Hikoru, was he asleep? She couldn't tell. Mari opened up her inventory and pulled out her winter cloak - a thick white overcoat with fluffy edging and draped it over him. Being careful not to disturb him too much. If Hikoru needed sleep, that would be fine. "You know, I used to sing this to my daughter." Mari said to him as she gently rubbed his arm. Her voice still quiet, she didn't want to wake him if he had slept, instead of continuing a conversation she doubted he heard. She began to sing again

Alkor placed a finger to her lips when she began to utter nonsensical drivel about being a monster. "Shhh," he said, "too many words." His voice became low and gentle, and as he held her close, he whispered in her ear. "Too much thinking. Mari said she loved him. He let out a sigh.. "I love you, too," he told her in a low mumble. "I love you, too."  His hands rubbed her back and the back of her head in a slow pattern. "Just be here, with me," he crooned. "Just us."

Her own eyes betrayed her; as she tried to comfort Hikoru, why did that memory have to come up now? Her voice shook as she sang the soft melody, so did her hands as they tried so hard to comfort someone who needed this more than her. A few small droplets hit Hikoru's cheek, Mari  angled her face upwards to look at the ever clearing blue sky. 'Oh look...it's raining again....'


@Hikoru

Edited January 10, 2020 by Mari

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru in those moments had fallen silent. Although he wasn't exactly the greatest faker, he didn't need to fake the quiet listener that he was, nor did he have to fake about how tired he was truly becoming. He eyes soon started to become heavy, and everything around him started to fade. He felt something envelop his body. He couldn't tell what it was, but it was warm, and soft. He slowly nuzzled into it, his mind enjoying the comfort that it was giving him. He wished that he could stay here forever, within the comfort of the warm embrace of the soft thing around him. He heard something within the distance of his own ears, a light singing that soothed him into a deep sleep. He felt his breath slow down, his mind finally shutting down, giving him time to rest

His eyes opened on their own overtime, and it was easy to tell that time had passed. He moved slightly, his body still asleep but his mind starting to become alert about everything around him. He tolled over so his face was upwards, facing the sky. "How long was I out?" He asked simply, unsure of how much time had passed, and not being able to tell, as he fell asleep before the sun had come out.

[Mari 1]

Hikoru was long since asleep, and hadn't noticed Mari's social faux paux. He didn't notice her trembling hands or silent tears. Her staggered breathing and heart beating hard and fast against the encroaching loneliness. It all went unheard, unknown, hidden. Just as it should be. 

When he finally stirred and sat up Mari shifted, pulling her legs out from beneath her and stretching them out before her. Mari began to massage first her thighs, then her lower legs to release them from the tingling sensation of pins and needles. "You were out for a few hours, probably. Looked like you needed the rest so I let you be." Mari didn't mind. She enjoyed the silence, and she couldn't lie...it was kinda nice that someone had relied so heavily on her for the briefest moments of comfort. It reminded her of moments in the past which she knew were best left forgotten. 

Mari turned her bloodshot gaze to the sky. "It'll be night soon." It was her way of telling him he should perhaps return home - and enjoy the warmth and comfort of a bed, safe, in an inn - or a house. Things that so many others took for granted that she was no longer allowed.

@Hikoru

[Hikoru 0]

Hikoru rubbed his eyes, removing the non-real eye crusts he felt. He stretched a little bit, making sure to get every muscle had the numerical blood flowing through his muscles, and sat up. He looked at the sky as Mari explained that it was about night fall, and he nodded. "Guess I threw my sleep schedule out of whack then." he spoke, cracking his neck to the side to feel a feeling of release from the stiff was he had slept. He definitely was not used to sleeping on a lap, not for a long time. It was weird to say, but he felt... better. He couldn't explain it, but the colors of the world seemed to be a bit brighter, and things seemed easier to understand and comprehend. It was definitely odd, but he wouldn't complain.

"And where will you be staying?" He asked quietly. "I know orange cursors can't exactly go into towns without stealth." He said with experience from the topic. He stood slowly, taking the umbrella that was still stuck in the ground, and putting it back into his inventory. Luckily, the rain didn't actually make it wet or ruin it, as it would in the real world. It was one of the few things that was actually nice about the game, that he might miss when they get out of this game.