[PP-F4] Melting Preconceptions of Past

[Mari 1]

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2 Hours Prior
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"W-what did you DO to me!?" Screamed the brunette as she stared at her arm, now covered in flames.

"I Uh...Yeh I told you not to attack me because of my Flame Aura- are you okay?" Mari asked, glancing over at her adversaries HP - it had just dipped into the yellow. Mari had not attacked her, not once - but the other player, who called herself a Maverick Hunter hadn't given up. Even after Mari thought she was safe, the brunette had sprung out of seemingly nowhere to attack again.  "I don't really have any health potions on me but I gotta teleporta-"

"OH like you give a damn!" She spat as she aimed the red, bladed pole-arm at Mari. "I know who you are! You think you can just lull me into a false sense of security? IF you were really trying to redeem yourself wouldn't you just let me kill you."

Mari winced then shook her head. "N-no. That...would have been the case a few months ago, but - a wise person told me that If I were to die here - that it'd only spit in the faces of those lives lost." She rubbed her arm, she had thought she was used to the hate and vitterol by now - but every time she was met with something like this. It still hurt.  Still - all she had to do was close her eyes and think of the words Baldur told her - or her friendship with Macradon. At least one person would be sad to see her go.

"Oh yeh? Then why haven't you even bothered to take the Redemption quest yet?" She sneered.

Mari shook her head slowly. "Because I don't deserve it right now - tell me, if you saw me with a green crystal - wandering around a town - would that make you feel any better? Wouldn't it be better if I truly, really truly earned it - rather than just taking the quest out of  convenience?"

The hunter's grip on her weapon loosened, and Mari could see it reflected in her green eyes - the question caught her off guard. She opened her mouth as if she were going to say something, but then it clamped shut and instead she charged at Mari...

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Present
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"Dammit..." Mari said as she covered her eyes with her hands. How could she have been so lax? So stupid. She had been too complacent lately, hadn't she? Mari sighed as she finally managed to shake the young Polearm who was chasing her down - "Phew..." She couldn't remember the last time she had been hunted like that - sure...she had been attacked recently on the first floor by that mob of players, and hell even Hidden had shanked her. But that girl? She was relentless and if Mari hadn't shaken her she would have feared for her life.  Mari pressed her back to a tree and slid down it till her butt touched the cold, wet snow. She inhalled slowly then exhaled as she sprawled her legs out in front of her. "Just give me a moment of peace, goddamn."


@Oikawa

[Oikawa 1]

Snow crunched rhythmically to the patter of scattered steps as figure darted about the frosty expanse. The hint of urgency in their steps prompted one to assume they were on the run. Perhaps they were, but assumptions would never do you any good in these kinds of situations. The cloaked figure stopped. Coming to a halt after checking for whatever was tailing them only moments ago. Golden eyes continued to watch as the figure felt for the tree they rested on before sliding to where the roots sprawled into the ground and sitting for a rest.

A flicker of shadows enveloped Oikawa as he approached from the figures left. The darkness unveiling around him just as quickly as it had appeared.

"Just give me a moment of peace, goddamn."

A weak chuckle escaped the brunette's lips as he rested his shoulder on the tree. "Peace? An odd request for a place like this. Even more so coming from someone of your..uh..history," Oikawa mused. Scenes of the pink-haired woman danced through his mind. Vague memories of her antics reminding him of just who he was dealing with. Back then, he was scared. Afraid to approach the infamous leader of Cerulean Silence. One of Aincrad's most notorious PKers despite having a body count lower than more unknown PKers. The profile at which she operated however was in a league all on its own. Renown more so these days for her ability to elude capture and execution. That being said, if one was looking for her, she wasn't necessarily hard to find. As proven by the encounter before them now.

Shifting his gaze to the now ginger-haired lass, Oikawa continued. "Sorry for the intrusion. Our last encounter was cut rather short.." Turning, he pressed his own back to the tree and slid until he too rested in the snow. Frosted breath slowly expelled from him before sharply returning.

"I need your help."

[Mari 1]

Cerulean eyes swiveled to meet a much taller and darker man than her - eyes golden like the sun shimmered beneath bangs of chestnut brown, and he wore a cocky-half grin that hid the tiredness his body wore. He looked familiar, extremely so and it was bothering her that she couldn't place a name to such a familiar face. He clearly knew her - and her history. "W-wait. Were you following me?"  She gave him an incredulous look. "So you just watched that poor brunette girl hurt herself?"  Odd statement, since said brunette was trying to kill Mari. Clearly, Mari's priorities were not on herself. She watched as he leaned against the same tree, and slid down to sit next to her, so close in fact that their knees touched.

Mari blinked, staring at him silently for a few moments before it clicked - and she realized who he was. "OIKAWA!" She practically screamed in his face as she pointed at him. Then, embarrassed by her outburst she slapped her hand to her face. "Gah..S-sorry. Sorry." She shook her head and sighed. "I just - never really expected to see you. I mean...I've heard about what you did - and how you disappeared and...."

She paused. Wait...

Did he just ask her for help? Mari chewed her lower lip as her brow furrowed. It wasn't unusual these days for some of the newer players to ask for help - they weren't around back then. They didn't know her - but someone like him?  Mari felt conflicted, of course she'd help him. She couldn't exactly turn someone away - but what if this was some ploy to try and murder her too? Like he had done to Zelrius. "Why my help?" Mari asked quietly after the embarrassment of the previous moment had settled. "I'd have thought I'd be one of the people you'd wanna see least. But...." She turned to look at him. Just like Hidden, he seemed hurt - confused. Like Aereth, so many Pkers were coming out the woodwork now .... and somehow, they were coming to her. The least she could do was try.

"And I believe in this world of Aincrad, that we all have a chance at redemption."

"What do you need help with?"

@Oikawa

[Oikawa 1]

Oikawa's gaze jumped at the mention of his name. "Did she really only just realize who I was? I suppose with the hair and style switch, my look has changed rather drastically from my 'white knight' days." Her bare finger pointedly directed at him before just as quickly snapping to her mouth in apology. He chuckled as she stammered out "Gah..S-sorry. Sorry...I just - never really expected to see you. I mean...I've heard about what you did - and how you disappeared and...." She paused briefly, and understandably so.

The brunette met her stare. His eyes slightly switching back and forth between her icy blue orbs, searching for any inclination on how to respond. Was she surprised by his question? Was she upset with him for what he had done, like so many others? Was she even that close to Zel. He honestly couldn't remember. Did she feel bad for him? Surely not. She had no reason to. The extent of their relationship was nothing more than two PKers who had butted heads a few times. How long had he been staring? "I should say something..."

"I reason that's something we both have in common. Disappearing that is. Long to be forgotten and ignored by the general public. Though that's not exclusive to just us either..." Her brow furrowed. "On edge I wonder? I mean I did kill Zelrius in one of the most cowardly ways possible. It's not unreasonable to be apprehensive.."

"Why my help?" She questioned as her expression softened. "I'd have thought I'd be one of the people you'd wanna see least. But...." Her gaze seemed familiar. Welcoming even. It reminded him of the same face Kotori would make when he was bothered by something. The same face Kiru made when he told her what he had done to her best friend. Not quite the look of understanding, but the look of knowing there was more to understand. It scratched the edge of pity...and he hated that. But because of it, he knew why he sought her out. In many ways they were different, yet similar all the same. At least so he thought.

Snapping away from his thoughts, the wayward frontliner answered.

"I didn't follow you. As you've pointed out before in our last encounter, your routine hardly changes. I simply happened upon you by coincidence in this case as I didn't expect to see you away from home." Oikawa pushed his palms into the slush, turning his frame to sit more so in front of Mari rather than beside her. "I want to cope, understand, and overcome," he explained. "I- I- try not to let this crystal define me. I am more than just that single action I took. But the truth is, that moment has tore at me since. I wasn't quite in my own state of mind if you will, but they were MY actions nonetheless. I wanted him dead. And I was given the tools and impulse to act on it. I don't deserve redemption. I don't think I ever will. But I want to atone for what I've done, and I'm not sure how."

Shuffling in his seat, he lifted his head. His solemn look on his face searching Mari over for a response.

"I don't expect you to have a direct answer...I guess I'm asking more for guidance than anything.." His gaze shifted to the sun.

"I wonder what they would think," he mused.

@Mari

[Mari 1]

The man was silent for a few minutes; a few really awkward minutes. His eyes swam over her features as though he was taking everything in. Did she look that bad? Was it because she simply changed her hair colour? Mari coughed and covered her freckled cheeks as she turned her head away from him. She didn't need to hear it, she knew she looked a mess. Finally, Oikawa spoke. Saying they both had something in common. Mari lowered her hands back into her lap as she listened to his words. "Yeh..." Mari said quietly as her thoughts drifted to people like Hidden, and Aereth. "That's true."

Mari snorted as Oikawa pointed out that her routine rarely changed, even from back then. "Hey, give me some credit - I'm out of home more often than in these days. But ahh..." She tugged on her ginger locks as she pressed her back against the tree. "You're right - I tend to get lost in my own mind a lil' too much. I actually live close by - that shop on the 10th floor is all but abandoned."

Mari watched as Oikawa pushed himself away from her only to sit directly in front of her. Mari wasn't sure what kind of answer she expected, but it certainly was not the one he gaze. Mari met his gaze - he held himself so tall and proud in her memories. A cocky half smile and confident eyes. But the ones that stared back at her leaked an unspoken sadness. A weight that was so great he could no longer bare it alone. Mari still wasn't sure why he wanted to come to her of all people - surely, there were others far better suited to this. "I ....don't know how I can really help with that. I'm probably the worst person to ask. I'm trying to do that everyday."  She reached out and placed her hands atop his. They were cold and shaking. "But I'll try to offer some insight."

Mari pushed herself off the ground with those words. "However, I don't think that is a conversation we should be having in the snow." Mari reached out to him to help lift him up off the ground. "Come to my house, I'll make you some tea."  Mari offered him a small smile.

"And for what its worth, I think everyone deserves redemption."

Oikawa stared at her then shifted his gaze down to her hand. Amber eyes boring into it as though staring at it would change anything. After a minute he closed his eyes and grabbed her hand, using it to help lift himself up. He still towered over her.  Mari lead him to her small cottage, the walk there was silent - but she expected that. Silence never bothered her, sometimes it was better for others to remain silent and work through things in their own head.  Mari knew that better than anyone, now he was probably wondering where she was taking him.

The path lead to a small snowy cottage by a frozen lake. It looked quaint, and despite it's exterior the interior only had a single room. Mari glanced over her shoulder at Oikawa. "Sorry it's not much... to be honest I feel like I don't even deserve this."

They approached the door and Mari entered, stepping aside or Oikawa. "Sit at the Kotatsu. I'll prepare something for us."

The inside was more or less what one would expect from a snowy cabin in the words. Wooden walls and stone floors. Mari could only afford the one room, and she opted for a living room. Directly opposite them was a small table; enough to fit two if they were to squish together - a place for her to eat.  To the right; a roaring fireplace, there was a place to put a pot to cook food, but the hook was currently empty. The floor before the fireplace looked like it had been draped in a few different indescribable animal skins. In front of the fireplace were two chairs facing opposite each other; made from a rich red velvet, adorned in pillows.  There was also a small mirror on the left hand wall, round without trimming.

To their immediate left, right by the window was a small corner that looked like it didn't quite belong in the room - cobble floor fell away to a light tatami mat - and atop that sat a Kotasu table. It's surface made of a wood that had been stained a golden brown. The surrounding material, thick and plush made of black. Atop the table sat a small ornate teapot - painted with the images of the 'Great Wave of Kanagawa' and beside around it four matching cups.

"I think the best way to discuss any troubles....is over a good pot of tea." Mari said as she shifted to sit opposite the space she left for Oikawa.

@Oikawa

Edited March 25, 2020 by Mari

[Oikawa 1]

The wheels turned in her head. He could tell as her eyes searched him for then answer to her question; why her? However, her words echoed a different sentiment. She reasoned that there had to be someone better suited for what he requested. Someone that had already overcame their fears, their demons, their betrayal. She pleaded that it was something that she still struggled with herself and from the outside looking in, Oikawa thought she had it all figured out. Sure she still kept to herself, but she wore the mask of "being fine" all to well. But he could only chuckle at himself for being as naive as to think she didn't still struggle too.

"No one has this all figured out," he thought. "Surely not with an orange crystal permanently glued above anyway" Mari's next words surprised him even more so though.

"But I'll try to offer some insight." Removing herself from the slush, she extended an open hand to him. Hesitant and cold, Oikawa stared briefly before accepting her invitation. His trembling hand clasping hers as he too was removed from the snowy ground. Her welcoming grin and the promise of warmth and tea eased him ever so slightly as they began to head to her home.

"And for what its worth, I think everyone deserves redemption."

The words echoed despite the sounds of chilling wind and crushed snow. Maybe it only echoed to him. Repeating over and over within his head. "But do I deserve redemption?" he questioned mentally. The looping of the two statements played back in his head a few more times to no avail. He remained unsure.

Snow continued to fall around them. The little flakes providing little more than background noise to their silent trip. He was unsure where they were as he had never been this deep into the fourth floor. His eyes wandered. Taking in what he could of the surrounding area. Not that there was much to point out aside from differing trees and shrubs here and there. Orange curls bobbled into view as his focus resettled on Mari. His hand was still wrapped in hers. The little heat he felt only resonated there and he wondered just how long she had been accustomed to living out here. Though if he recalled correctly, within SAO, feelings of pain and temperatures were reduced to nearly nothing. So whatever he felt was also just in his head. Though he didn't mind the thought.

As the path they follow diverted, a small frozen lake made its appearance. Her small home hugged the edge of the bank; seemingly serving as a guard to any threat of the area's serenity. Her apology brought his attention back to her. "No need to apologize," he responded. "Though I'm unsure on why you feel you don't deserve it. No one deserves to be homeless." 

Pushing through the front door, Mari gestured to the Kotatsu and made mention of preparing something for them. He felt honored and lousy the say the least. Not only had he bombarded her with problems, he did so without so much as a hello or thank you. A selfish one he was.

"Thank you," he let out. "For everything and inviting me to your home." Atop the table sat a teapot with the 'Great Wave of Kanagawa' etched into the side of it with paint. The matching teacups softly rattled as Mari sat across from him. "I think the best way to discuss any troubles....is over a good pot of tea." He nodded in agreement. Tea was rumored to soothe the soul, and more than anything his soul needed soothing. Taking note of the dried seaweed that had occupied one of the counters when they entered and the Matcha milk she was preparing already, he gestured to the seaweed; "May we?"

With a nod, Mari retrieved the seaweed and passed him a few pieces of it. "Thank you," he mentioned again as he placed one of the squared nori sheets in his mouth. Looking to her, his amber eyes settled upon hers.

"Where did we go wrong?" The question was more rhetorical than anything but he wondered about her. Why did she carry the same burden as him? What was her story and what weight did she carry on her shoulders? He wasn't so inclined to ask directly but he didn't want to go on and on about himself without learning about her too. After all they barely new each other and she welcomed him nonetheless.

"If you don't mind, why do you think your undeserving? We're similar and I know much less about you and yet I came to you of all people for help. The crystals above us played a role, but I guess I felt you were the person who may understand the best what we're going through."

@Mari

Edited March 26, 2020 by Oikawa

[Mari 1]

Mari watched quietly as he took a few pieces of the dried seaweed- a nice delicacy she picked up from Cordelia's shop. Now that Mari was able to eat again, she did so. Often. She had snacks and food available where she could and those little dried salty sheets - topped with sesame seed were just perfect for her, and apparently for her guests. Mari couldn't help but smile as she watched him. Thankful that he felt comfortable enough to eat - and if he were anything like her...it had probably been a while since he had. Mari carefully poured Oikawa a cup of the milky liquid before passing it over to him.  "You said no one deserves to be homeless - would you say you deserve one?" Mari asked him. It was something she had been made to realize herself, that she was very hypocritical. She could feel the pain that swirled around him, a miasma of emotions that were so turbulent that they drove others away.

"It wasn't just us." Mari said quietly as her eyes traveled down. She twirled the cup in her pale hands before cupping it. "I've gone mad asking myself the same thing over and over..." She paused as she took a long sip of the tea. Long lashes fluttering closed. Sighing happily as the bittersweet taste allowed her to forget her troubles. The warmth settled in her stomach and permeated throughout her being. Her legs sneaked up under the blanket of the heated Kotatsu. Mari had denied herself these things for such a long time, and now...she felt like she finally was able to rest, but she couldn't Not quite yet. She was so tired...

They slowly opened when Oikawa asked her why she felt she was undeserving. Cereulean orbs, soft and forgiving with a gentle gaze- one that hid a storm of emotions beneath a calm facade.  "Ah..." That...was a lot harder to answer. "Do...you know how I got my crystal?" Mari asked him quietly. "I think...It'd be easier for me to answer that if you told me what you've heard or know about me. I can fill in the blanks and correct any misinformation. But...Aren't we here for you?" Mari asked, concern lacing her soft voice. 

She reached out to him and forced his hands to wrap around the cup tightly before letting them go. "When was the last time you were able to let your guard down, to just shut your eyes for a minute and breathe? I bought you here so you could do that within comfort and warmth. Things often denied to people like us."

@Oikawa

 

[Oikawa 1]

The salted weed was comforting to say the least. The dried sheets reminded him of home in way; something he had almost forgotten he had outside this place. Crystal blue eyes watched him over. A smile sought him out as their eyes met again. The ginger-haired woman poured the finished milk into a cup before passing the warmed mug to him. He swirled the liquid around before taking a sip of his own. Placing the cup down, she poked her own question in response to his. 

"You said no one deserves to be homeless - would you say you deserve one?"

Memories began to occupy his mind. Flashes of friends and events that had taken place since his time being stuck in Aincrad. Early days he held onto the most. The days of his first guild. His first few friends. Meeting Calrex and eventually Teayre, the people he would come to call family after all this time. People such as Azide, Ariel, Takao and various other figures that have either perished or disappeared from the light of the frontlines; much like himself. Then there were the memories of them. Kotori, his first love in this heartless world. Her time cut short as she slowly isolated herself from Aincrad and himself. His first heartbreak. Then there was Kiru. Another prominent 'love' in his time here. A person that at one point he was willing to dedicate his life to seeing her get out this game, and even at this point still holds that same ideal, also vanished from the world much like her lover Keith and her best-friend...

Zelrius. His friend. His fellow commandant. Aincrad's only known wielder of Dual Blades. The blond playboy who led Azure with a King Arthur style approach and at one point his best friend...

and first mistake....

The sounds of shattered polygons replayed over. And over. And over. The scene on repeat in his head. The motion of his rapier turning Zelrius red in fourteen distinct places before causing him to no longer exist. The cowards take as he never saw his face. Only his back riddled with red dots as he ceased to exist in this world.

Tears welled up.

He hated this moment more than anything. This one action cost him so much and took that much more from everyone else. Did he deserve to be homeless for his actions? For committing a cardinal sin in a game where there are no do-overs or second chances? Every ounce of his body screamed no. He didn't deserve anything for what he had done. But could he ever atone for his actions and attempt to make it up to the people he let down if he just allowed himself to die? Could he ever even approach forgiveness if he didn't make the attempt to fix what he had done?

His thoughts settled, his attention returning to Mari as flicked away the tears welling up. "Do I deserve what I have for a home now? No, I don't think I do. But I do think given that we don't have many options for housing due to the crystal, I think if we are making an effort at change, having a consistent place to sleep is a necessity to payback what we took."

Motioning her own cup into a small circle, she sipped before continuing quietly. "Do...you know how I got my crystal?" she questioned. He thought for a moment. "I haven't the slightest clue how she received her crystal. Surely she already had it when they first met some time ago; though back then she was much more...hostile...at least I think. The memories are fuzzy to say the least."

Edging into a more upright position, he moved the nearly finished drink to the side. The 'sip' being much more of a gulp and the last few of the droplets that had welled in his eyes dissipated as a more serious demeanor overtook his features. "I can't say I'm familiar with the origin of your crystal. I vaguely remember a rumor going around that you caused harm to family but I don't put much merit in rumors. That said, our first few encounters did live up to your notoriety at the time. Seeing you like this...I should say... seeing us like this... is still a shock to me to say the least. I've only ever been this vulnerable with a few people and on the outside; and I've never seen this side of you."

Decidedly, he finished off the last of the drink before resting his gaze back to her. "And though we are 'here for me' you carry a burden of your own too and despite your outward appearance, it seems your emotions are just as knotted and entwined as my own. I'd venture to say you need someone to talk to just about as much as I do. Even if only for me to listen and nothing more." His brow furrowed ever so slightly as she settled-in beneath the Kotatsu. "She could look a lot worse for wear," he thought. "As for letting my guard down? As I said, there's only a few people I've let my guard down around." A half-cocky grin snaked its way out, "somehow you managed to coerce my walls down and make the list."

Settling beneath the Kotatsu himself, the warmth and comfort of the milk settled into him. His eyes slowly edging shut. "You put me at ease Mari. I'm not sure why. But you do. But tell me, how did you receive your crystal? Why were you one of the most feared PKers in SAO? Why are you still being hunted?" It was a tall order of questions surely, but this Mari in-front of him couldn't be the same one he was willing to go to blows with before. Then again, she was probably thinking the same of himself.

@Mari

[Mari 1]

Mari reached out, leaning over the table to flick him in his forehead. "Hypocrite." Came her simple response to him saying he didn't deserve a house. "Didn't you just say to me that no one deserves to be homeless. Why place different standards on me? Why put such harsh and near impossible restrictions on yourself?" Mari leaned back and motioned to get up. Her legs yearned for the missing warmth as she pulled them out of the Kotatsu. She padded across to the mantle over the fireplace. "I get it." She said. "I do the same thing, I have such low value for myself, and yet if I caught anyone saying any of the self depreciating sh*t I say I'd probably slap some sense into them." She picked up a small embroided handkerchief and headed back over to Oikawa. "So that's why I don't like hearing you say those things." She said as she gently grabbed his hand and placed the linen into it. "For when you're ready."  Mari would never tell anyone to not cry or to hide their emotions.

Mari, whilst still close to Oikawa picked up the teapot and carefully refilled his cup. "Normally I'd say to ignore rumours." Mari said quietly as she took her place near him, sliding her legs back under the Kotatsu. She felt it best to start a little ways back, before the incident. She rarely talked about her time with her ex-husband and when she did, she kept it short. "I was married, a few years ago - I was young. Stupid. In love. The man I married was very business orientated - and when I feel pregnant he changed. Grew violent and paranoid - wanted a divorce. When we went through the proceedings I lost everything, apparently they found traces of drugs in my urine and blood samples. Turns out he hired a crooked lawyer - Its...." Mari sighed as she ran her thumb over the rim of her own cup. "I swear you only see that sort of thing in movies or tv shows - you think ' oh that'd never happen in real life. Our systems wouldn't allow it. But you'd be wrong. HE got everything...so - when I saw that Lawyer in the game, with my child." Mari clenched her hands over her cup, tightly gripping it to avoid shaking hands.

"I went to attack him, and he threw her in the way of my blade." Mari swallowed. "That day... I lost everything I had been fighting for. So - " Mari reached out to Oikawa, her hand resting on his wrist. "I know first hand what it's like to loose someone close to you - and to be the cause of it."

Oikawa tried to deflect, offering that if she needed it - he was there for her. Mari was grateful for that, but the tale of her daughter took a lot out of her . Despite her outward composure. Mari rose tired cerulean eyes to his burning amber. A small squeeze of his wrist. "Thank you." She said quietly. "But as I said, right now. I'm here to listen to, and help you. What kind of host would I be if I didn't? Especially when you specifically sought me out."

Oikawa leaned back, shoulders softening. It looked like some of the weight he had carried was alleviated. Mari lifted her hand from his wrist, placing an elbow on the table she placed her chin in her hand. "Mmm? Do you really think it a good idea to let your guard down around me?" She asked in a joking manner. "To drink my tea and sit comfortably in my home?" Mari exhaled soflty, shutting her eyes. "Most would call you insane." She tilted her head down to her own drink, most of it had been drunk. Ginger locks fell into her freckled face.  Right...most would think she'd be up to something. Trying to lure them into a false sense of security. Hearing how she had somehow put him at ease...it made Mari feel a swell of comfort - knowing she could do that for someone. "I hope that's a good list." She jested.

"As for your other questions...I wish I had answers for them, but I don't - I could tell you about every life I took, and why. But it wouldn't help any, right? I guess it was because at the time,  I was the strongest player. A frontliner - holder of a Demonic Weapon, and at the time they were scarce. I may just have been an easy target...didn't help the Azure Brigade and its leader seemed to hate me."

 

@Oikawa

[Oikawa 1]

The brunette barely winced as the flick of her finger pecked him in the forehead. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as she jumped up to retrieve something from the mantle of the fireplace. Placing the fabric into his hands, Oikawa realized the stitched square was a hand crafted embroidered handkerchief. Clutching it in his hand, he adjusted as Mari fixed him another cup tea before parking next to him and placing her legs back under the Kotatsu.

Feeling her breath rise and and expel, she paused before beginning to unravel the tale of her past. Oikawa listened. Heavy words rolled off as she recounted the story of taking the life of the one precious thing she held closest to her. Her pain was unimaginable to him. "How could he ever compare his loss to that of hers? How did she shoulder a burden like this and remain sane to this point?" She tried to hide it but she shook. Her cup trembling ever so slightly as she clenched the porcelain between rose tinted fingers. He went to comfort her but instead she beat him to it as she placed her hand on his wrist in reassurance. "Mari..." 

Lightly squeezing his wrist, she reiterated their time was for him especially given that he sought her out. She even went as far as to tease him for letting his guard down around her. "Hmm... one would be a fool to turn down such hospitality from someone as beautiful as yourself," he said with a chuckle. "You ire for turning down your offer is more scary than drinking your tea." Resting his palm on her wrist, he returned the squeeze. "Rest assured being called insane is the last of my worries and the list is good...

for now.."

Returning his grip to the warming cup, he let the tea cascade and fill his throat once more. The bitter taste slightly more apparent the second go around as his face slightly twisted. "Hmm.. maybe I should be more cautious," he coughed in jest. Glancing back over to Mari, something she mentioned sat with him. Readjusting, he laid on his side; resting his palms beneath his face and before addressing her last statement.

"So you and Zel were at odds?" He knew he was supposed to be seeking her help but surprisingly he didn't feel as distraught but rather just unguided. Maybe he just needed the company of someone who knew what he was going through. Nevertheless, he was intrigued with Mari. He knew so little about her and he wondered if this was the case for most.

"Sorry for prying so much. I know were here for me and my issues but ... I'm not nearly in the same position as you. I made a choice. Your initial choice was made for you. I still have trouble coping with my actions. I understand why I did it. I know the underlying reasons and what my actions would cause and I still made that choice. However, from this and you I'd like to learn how to overcome. You've begun to take those steps. I too want to make those steps."

@Mari

Edited April 5, 2020 by Oikawa

[Mari 1]

"Mari..." 

Her name fell from his lips in a pained whisper, it carried with it the weights of his concerns and unease. Mari wouldn't quip on it. Instead she flashed him a soft smile, genuine and sweet - warm enough to perhaps melt away some of his burdens. Mari could take a haphazard guess at what he was thinking. "Don't compare yourself to me." She said quietly as she turned her gaze to her tea. "IF that's what you're thinking that is - I'm taking a guess...because if I were you...I'd be attempting to compare, trivialize my own burdens in lieu of others." Mari paused to take a gentle sip of her brew then quietly set it down. "It's a way I deflect things, I won't need to focus on my own pain. Because it's not important. So - hypocritical as it may be - don't do that."

She reached out and picked up the spoon from the table, twirling the silver utensil in her finger. "If I suspect you do. I'll have to flick you on the forehead with this."

That very same spoon clattered to the table when he called her beautiful. Mari stared at him, mouth slightly agape before she quickly clenched it shut. Beauty was glistening dew on a flower during a winter morning. It was the sun peaking through a cloudy sky - a smile that shined brightest when laughing, and yet a frown that held happiness betwixt its lines. Beauty was someone free of sin, someone who hadn't been married, hadn't been torn and ripped apart by a cruel, relentless yet just world. Beauty was everything Mari was not.

Mari was plain. Freckled and pale, with sickly eyes and wide hips. Short, without the long slender legs that would carry her gracefully across the room. Mari was just...Mari.

"I'm not..." She shook her head, trying to find the right thing to say to him. "You really shouldn't joke about things like that to a woman." Mari said as she scrambled to pick up the spoon. It was a joke, nothing more. A slightly cruel one, but still, a joke. She brandished it toward him in a threatening manner. "You'll break hearts with talk like that." She warned.

Oikawa seemed to chuckle lightly as he leaned back. Asking her about Zelrius. RIght...most everyone else adored him, didn't they? He was Oikawa's friend too. It'd be unfair for Mari to talk ill of someone who was no longer around to defend himself.

Mari sighed as she dipped the spoon into her cup, absently swirling it, listening to the gentle chimes as the metal hit the sides of the cup. "Honestly...we but heads a couple times but I didn't think anything of it. I wasn't nice back then. I struggled greatly with loosing Evelyn. But having him storm into the Boss meeting, banning his entire guild from helping? That's kinda a big way to say 'f**k you' to someone. He literally risked lives, so many lives...because of his arrogance." Mari took the spoon out and gently tapped it on the rim of her cup.

"Then, we managed to survive that battle despite all odds - and despite all those odds I managed to find the next boss room - alone. That did not seem to go down well. I was threatened, told if I were to ever be at the frontlines again - I'd be killed there. So I find it ironic he met that same fate. It's sad, and no one should have been struck down from this world, but it's happened." She lifted her eyes back up to Oikawa.

He had been the one to take Zelrius from this world, Mari couldn't find a way to hate him for it. "No one could hate you more than you hate yourself right now." She said quietly as she brushed back errant hair from her face.   "We all make choices we regret - we're human. You've acknowledged what you've done. As have I. There is no easy answer. No sure fire way to overcome things. People will be against your redemption. They will hate it, an hate you - but if you have the determination, and the will to better yourself. Things...can have a way of working out."

Mari gently tapped the table with her forefinger. "Sometimes, we just need someone to believe in us.... Honour the life you took by persevering, doing better -and working to save other lives."

@Oikawa

[Oikawa 1]

Take aback by her response, Oikawa shuffled back into a more upright position. "I think you misunderstood love. You being beautiful wasn't a joke in the least bit. One does not simply give compliments for the sake of it. I am many things, but a liar is not one of them; nor would I say something like that for the hell of it. You are beautiful, you just haven't come to see it yet you goof. And side-note, we both know what we're capable of and fearing you is pointless and laughable," he beamed. Resting his back against the wall he let her finish before adding more. Her sigh signified her realization that to an extent, he was at one point friends with Zelrius and maybe her badmouthing of him was off-putting; however, what she didn't know was that he was no stranger to stupidity the blonde boasted on about and her words were sure to be more accurate than anything the late dual-wielder could've said about himself.

As she explained her differences with Zelrius, Oikawa could only vaguely remember these moments that floated about the frontlines before he had joined them. Sitting up, he laced his fingers; attentively resting his chin upon them as he placed his elbows over his bent knees and listened. She relived the moments of his dominance of Azure and his ability to effectively cut those in out something as important as boss raids, effectively leaving many lives to nothing more than a battle of chance. His sheer petty haughtiness nearly costing people there lives as well as having the audacity, though surely at the time something he could back up, to threaten another player with the death in way that proved she wouldn't be able to safely participate if she chose to.

Their eyes met once more. She wasn't in the wrong for her feelings towards Zelrius. Despite the love many showered him with, he also was equally drenched in disdain. A feeling the brunette was all to familiar with for multiple reasons. Despite this, Oikawa longed for his fellow commandant. Despite their differences, his blade never should've struck him. Mari was only half-right however. "Surely Kiru or Manta Gaul or Tristan would have to disagree. Well Kiru less-so now since our last encounter, but nonetheless I imagine neither Tristan nor Manta would want anything to do with me and I seem to remember a PK hunter wanting me dead as well. Though I guess I'm not exclusive to that hit-list I imagine."

Pushing the hairs from her face, Oikawa for once was clearly able see the freckles that lined her cheeks. "You're right you know. And I hope you continue to embrace the advice you've given me." The brunette was unsure if he'd ever quite feel the effort he planned to put into learning to live with and overcome the decision he made that day. For so long it ate at him and only just now did it begin to slightly lift from his myriad of problems. A soft smirk came from him as eased back into a laying position. He was unsure why he felt better more in this moment than he had in a while, but surely Mari was the cause. At least in someway or fashion.

"Thank you. I believe in you as well," he stated as his amber gaze offered a reassuring expression to her cerulean orbs.

@Mari

[Mari 1]

Wasn't a joke?

Wasn't a joke!?

Mari scoffed, she gently shook her head. "You' be surprised..." She said quietly. He ex-husband had done just that, Alkor had too. Each for varying different reasons. Still, when Mari looked at herself in the mirror - she saw everything that did not encapsulate beauty. An idle finger reached out to trace the rim of her cup again. "You're sweet to insist that - but I still don't see it." Her words soft spoken and pained. "One would never accept nor desire one as tarnished as me."

Mari drew in a deep breath, trying her best to push out the cruel and scathing words that had been shouted at her, whispered at her - repeated to her by Life - words said with the intent to harm and break her. A slow exhale and for now, they were suppressed. Now was not the time. Gentle eyes rose to meet the beaming face of Oikawa and she did her best to match his smile with one of her own.

"It is, isn't it? And yet people still do." People still feared her. Perhaps, they never would stop. Mari was doing her best to be patient and kind with Oikawa, his dark skin and hair shadowed by the brightness of his eyes. Emotional, bright and unrelenting amber eyes. Oikawa mentioned names Mari remembered, like Kiru and Tristan, and others she did not like Manta. "Do those people matter to you?" Mari asked. "If so, in time - seek them out - I know...I would like to talk to those I've affected with my actions. It may not end well, but I feel they deserve the closure...but, if seeing those people would bring you nothing but pain. I don't think it bad to wish to avoid them. Forge new bonds with people."

Were her words good? Mari wasn't sure. She gave a small groan as her head fell into her hands. "I'm Sorry Oikawa, I'm really not good with words. I'm terrible at explaining things. So if I sound corny or inane at times that's why." Another grumble from her lips as she lifted her face once more, brushing all her hair away from her face. Her hands sat there, in her hair as she watched how relaxed he had became.

At least there was that, being able to take comfort, and take a moments reprise - especially for someone marked as a PKer - it meant more than anyone with a green cursor could ever possibly understand. "You're always safe here, from persecution, judgement, and Pk hunters, maybe not so safe from my ramblings though." She added with a wry half grin. "I'm trying to listen to my own advice, but I gotta tell you a secret. I'm kinda a big ol' hypocrite."

Oikawa, a man who towered over her - who had slain someone who had in Mari's mind, loathed her so much to wish her death - a man who was troubled and pained, who carried a weight heavier than the world in the palm of his hands - was resting, among the folds of the heated Kotatsu table. Lithe limbs laid back - relaxed. He offered he a simple and gentle smile that radiated the comfort that he must have felt in that moment. 'I believe in you as well' He said.

Not many people said that. Mari coughed as she let her hair go, turning away from him. "T-That's nice." It was all she could say.  Mari should have thanked him, should have offered him more words of support. But nothing came.

@Oikawa

[Oikawa 1]

Unease was one way to describe Mari as she continued to refute his compliment. He was not as naive as to think his words would reach her as easily but he yearned for nothing more than for her to be able to accept herself and realize, "You know, I was once told that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is not up to you to decide whether you are beautiful or not, but for you to accept that you are beautiful regardless if you see it or not." His words could only do so much he reasoned, but given their current state and having only known each other briefly, showing her was quite an option either. "So my words will have to suffice for now," he thought.

She forced a smile of her own. Her words cutting back at his own comments. He seemed to be saying the right thing but in the wrong ways, or perhaps the wrong the the right way. Either way his communication was becoming jumbled to say the least and Mari was taking everything he stated the wrong way. That being said her question caused him to think for a moment. "Tristan and Manta were as close as casual coworkers could be. We got a long well enough but I didn't know them intimately enough to call them my close friends. But nonetheless they were apart of my Azure family and if I knew there whereabouts I'd surely reach out to them in time."

His thoughts began to settle. "They do matter to me, but I'm not sure if I matter to them. Since his death I've heard from none of the remaining Commandants save for Kiru because I sought her out specifically. But since then, even she has gone been radio silent. Aside from Calrex and Baldur players I once called friends have all slowly eluded me. Whether on purpose or not I'm unsure. Like you I began to isolate. Keeping myself from those that would see my crystal and think 'He killed Zelrius. His friend, fellow Commandant, and strongest damage dealer in the game. And he did so with little to no consequence. Did he even regret it? Look at him? He hasn't taken [Redemption] he doesn't feel bad for it?' They will never understand," he paused. 

"Sorry, kind of a side tangent." He wanted to forge new bonds with people. But getting to know new people and address them was the hard part, especially when the inevitable question arises about his crystal. He sighed and her head fell int her hands with a groan and an apology. "No need to apologize," he quickly quipped. "I'm not much better if were being honest. But thank you for your words and safe haven. Seijuro Manor is the same for you, should you ever find yourself in need of some company on the twenty-first floor."

"T-That's nice." Was all she could say as she turned away from him. Still laying back, he flicked open an eye half sleepily and eye'd the time. It was beginning to get late and he didn't want to intrude or over stay his welcome. Shifting to a more upright position, he leaned over and offered her a hug from behind. His chin ever so slightly resting atop her head as his arms gave way to a light squeeze.

"Thank you Mari. I imagine after such a long day, you're tired. I should let you rest and be on my way. Perhaps we can meet up again though." His golden eyes searched for hers as he rose up and stretched. "You've been an amazing host, Mari and I hope to repay it to you at some point."

@Mari

[Mari 1]

Mari inwardly flinched, she probably sounded cold, right? That's nice Who just says 'That's nice'  to someone who is sincerely trying to reach out to you? Mari picked at her nails as she chewed her bottom lip. "I mean..." She turned back to him, trying to find the right way to tell him. "I appreciate it. It's nice hearing that."She hoped that those words would have sufficed for now.

Her demeanor perked up when he mentioned Baldur. "Ah. Actually." Mari  pushed her cup out of the way as she leaned forward on the surface of the Kotatsu. "I keep in contact with Baldur, if you'd like - I can ask his permission if it's okay to set something up between you two, if you're worried- I'll come along."  She gave Oikawa a faint smile as she picked up his now empty cup, eyes focused on the wave pattern. "He...." Her tone shifted, it was warm, reminiscent, as though she were talking about a long time friend or childhood sweetheart. "I owe him a great deal - he's really amazing. So I doubt you'd need me there, he is a man who believes in redemption."

Mari set the cup down next to the other - to the side and out of the way. "You shouldn't take that Redemption quest. Not right now." Mari said perhaps a little too plainly. "If you took it now; then have you truly earned it? Did you truly repent? I think...others would respect you more if your current actions lead to that more naturally. They'd be more accepting, at least - that's what I think. I know many dislike the quest- because its too easy to just take it and wash away the colours of our cursors. But even those people can't deny irrefutable facts. They may never understand, but you have someone who does. At least a little" Mari said as she pointed to herself.

"The 21st floor is quite high up, I'll have to keep that in mind though; I'll need to make the long trek up there when its time to do the boss fight. A halfway house would be nice." Mari noted that Oikawa was almost falling asleep, she'd have let him if he had - unsure if he even had a decent nights rest - he looked like he'd been wandering around the wilderness for weeks. He asked if she was tired and Mari rose her shoulders in a shrug. "Honestly, I always am." It was hard, constantly fighting her own inner demons, presenting herself in a friendly manner... shouldering everything, and doing her best to keep her problems from her newfound friends, lest she loose them.

Oikawa shifted, and Mari was expecting him to get up, instead he leaned over, wrapping taught dark arms loosely around Mari's shoulders. "Wha-bah-g?" Sounds of confusion escaped her muffled mouth as he squeezed. Tendrils of onyx hair tickled her nose and she wrinkled it. When...when was the last time someone had hugged her? Willingly hugged her? Oikawa smelt like fire. More so...like the burning embers of a fire, of wood and earth. A smell that tickled her nostrils. She lowered her forehead to rest onto his shoulder. "It's...a nice smell...." She whispered.

The last time someone hugged her...

That probably would have been Alkor; back when he had tried to comfort her, course - he hadn't felt anything then - and she knew that her touch unnerved him. Mari drew a sharp breath trying to hold it together in that moment. This wasn't like back then, this wasn't the same thing.  Mari didn't know how to respond, she rose a hesitant hand to gently pat him once on his shoulder before he let go. Offering to repay her at some point. A part of her missed the warmth as it left her upper body, but she was also relieved. She hadn't known what to do with something like that.

Mari slowly stood, her legs feeling heavy and dull. "Y-you're more than welcome here any time." She said to him. Mari knew he was fixing to leave. SHe shifted her gaze to her own fireplace, currently out - already it reminded her of him. She wondered if he spent lots of time by his own warm fire.

"Stay safe, Oikawa." Mari said as she drew her eyes back to him. Her hands absently tugging on her hair.

@Oikawa

Edited April 7, 2020 by Mari

[Oikawa 1]

Oikawa nodded at Mari. He fastened his cloak, clasping it into place as he prepared to exit the quaint home. "I always am, even if I don't look it. Be sure to remain safe yourself Mari." She tussled at her ginger locks, a half smirk displayed as he turned the handle. He offered a final wave before singing the door open and stepping out into...

"A damn blizzard..." he murmured. Glancing back over his shoulder, he realized that traversing in this flurry storm was possible but he'd more than likely succumb to exhaustion before reaching the double digit floors. "This is one of the few times I wish this damn crystal allowed me to use teleportation gates. I don't want to be a bother however..but. Tch. What should I do?"

The puzzled look on his face couldn't be hidden even if he tried. Sighing, the darkened lad beginning rubbing the back of his neck. "Um M-Mari, if it's not too much of a bother..could I possibly stay here for the night?" Absent-mindedly he looked the house over for a the guest room before suddenly remembering that she stated the home was a one bedroom house earlier. "Uwahhh.... I'll...umm sleep in here of course," he said gesturing to the Kotatsu with a slight blush. "If that's alright with you?" Regardless of her answer, he closed the front door. It was rude to allow the elements to sully her home.

"If not, I can at least wait the storm out before heading home. I can't imagine it lasting too long." Fixing his gaze upon her, he offered a warm smile before retaking his seat at the Kotatsu. The hug seemed to have a positive effect on her earlier, the slight pat of his shoulder before he was poised to leave confirmed at least that much. She even briefly mentioned his scent being nice, though he felt the scent of a blacksmith would be the last thing to be considered nice.

"You have nice smell to you know. Flowers and snow. An interesting yet comforting scent. A combination you don't come across often." Following her gaze to the fireplace, "I can also light that if you would like. The smoldering embers do well to remind me of home."

@Mari

[Mari 1]

Mari's hands drew to her face - shielding it as the sudden flurry of freezing wind slammed the door open. "G-geez." She muttered as Oikawa stood there with his mouth agape - and the door still wide open. "Well!?" Mari called out. "Don't just stand there close the bloody thing!" Mari cried out. Oikawa finally shut the door and Mari lowered her hands with a sigh then proceeded to dust off the flurry of powdered snow that had been blown onto her lithe form. 

"Yeh... I guess that's fine..." Mari said as Oikawa averted his gaze, asking if he could stay the night. It's not like he made the blizzard happen. It was clear he didn't really want to impose. And if he had a green Crystal she'd rightly tell him to bugger off to a town somewhere. But he didn't. Just like her he had to trek through each floor slowly, via the boss rooms. "These sorta storms come and go - usually at night and can last anywhere from an hour to the whole night." Mari rose her shoulders in a shrug, "How else do you think the place stays covered in snow - it's like it replenishes its damn self each night." 

Mari gestured to the Kotatsu as he sat at it. "Ya can sleep there I guess. I'll wake you when the storm passes." Mari tried to flash him a smile, she felt a little awkward with him sleeping there but she wouldn't deny him warmth or comfort. Her stance relaxed as she exhaled. "You look like you could use the rest, no offence - but you've also had a bit of an emotional day - that'd wear out even the most hardened of warriors."

Mari turned, and began to dim the oil lanterns that were spotted throughout the small one roomed cabin, to give him some peace. As she moved about the home she could feel his amber gaze on her, Mari tried to brush it off- it was nothing, it was natural to follow movement that's all.

"You have nice smell to you know. Flowers and snow. An interesting yet comforting scent. A combination you don't come across often."

Mari paused as she reached the fireplace, hand on the mantle. He said...what? Mari whipped her face around to meet his gaze, eyes wide. Confused. "You, I'm- what? I'm sorry f**king what?" She shook her head in disbelief. "I'll-I'll err, l-light the fire in a moment." She mumbled as she turned away from him. "Snow doesn't even have a smell." She muttered.

@Oikawa

Edited April 8, 2020 by Mari

[Oikawa 1]

"You look like you could use the rest, no offence - but you've also had a bit of an emotional day - that'd wear out even the most hardened of warriors."

She wasn't wrong. His eyelids felt heavier than himself and slightly still puffy from the almost waterworks. He had seen far better days to say the least. But at the moment all he could think about was the lights dimming around him as Mari waltzed from one end of the room to another. Her figure only slight visible in the darkness, outlined by the shimmer of snow and moonlight peaking in through the home.

Suddenly she whipped around in confusion. His earlier statement must've finally settled in as she stumbled over her words.  "Snow doesn't even have a smell." She muttered beneath her breath. Oikawa could only chuckle. He could assume that she wasn't used to compliments. But the brunette was not going to shy away from giving them. Especially if it flustered the normally withdrawn ginger. "I'm willing to bet all my Col that someone has found away to turn the smell into a candle. And if it was lit right now, it would definitely be you."

Oikawa managed to move both legs under the Kotatsu. The fireplace mantle slowly crackling to life as Mari begin to stir its embers. The warm glow illuminated the room in away that allowed their shadows to dance with the slightest movement. Folding his hands behind his head, Oikawa looked towards the ceiling.Golden eyes searching the wooden planks above for nothing in particular, but slowly drifting all the same.

"Mari...this Kotatsu is rather warm. I'm surprised you don't sleep here...I-I should get one of the-," a yawn erupting from him. Rolling over to face her, Oikawa let a small grin show through. "You really aren't that bad. And I think you should give yourself more credit. You are a warmth person, Mari. I think if people let you, you could easily melt whatever past preconceptions they had of you."

@Mari

Edited April 8, 2020 by Oikawa

[Mari 1]

The fire sprang to life with the crackle of burning wood and leaf. Mari shuffled back and watched the flames as they licked the sides of the fireplace. Casting wildly dancing shadows over her face. The warmth tingled her skin as she rubbed her hands together, then her arms. Her cabin wasn't cold by any means, but without the constant heat of the Kotatsu - there was a slight bite to the air.

They....were strange words - Mari was not used to compliments. Especially such flowery ones. "So...." Mari tilted her head, not looking at Oikawa. She felt like if she did she'd see him with a wide grin, and he'd admit all his compliments were nothing more than a joke, because lets face it - Mari did not look nice, nor smell nice. "A lit candle that smells like snow. So - water, I smell like water?" It was obviously a joke. She'd give him a pass, just this once - but next time she'd have to mention it again, didn't he have any tact?

His voice was airy as he mentioned the Kotatsu; and why she didn't sleep there. Thing was, she had, once. Mari planned to use it as her makeshift bed, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to sleep in her house all that much. She had also been busy on the upper floors, and with no way to teleport back to her home safely, Mari still found herself sleeping in caves.

There was a long silence, and Mari thought she could hear faint snores from Oikawa. "Warm person..." She repeated as she stared at the flames. It'd be nice... if that were true. Mari was trying. She really was, but warm wasn't something that had come to mind. Her head sunk into her knees as she tried to hold herself together. If only she believed her own words, if only she felt that she too could be redeemed.

@Oikawa

[Oikawa 1]

If Mari had responded, it had fallen on deaf ears as the brunette's lid were long closed. His chest would rise and fall steadily. The faintest of snores slipping out as, the heat of the Kotatsu enveloped his wary frame. He wasn't deserving her hospitality, least of all a warm place to sleep when he wasn't even sure if she made it to bed herself. But his body was much too tired to check and his mind was much too relaxed to enforce it.

Dawn broke soon enough. Amber eyes snapping open as he sat up to the faint smell of snow, albeit water now, and flowers. Dazedly, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Finally remembering where he was and what had transpired the night before. Looking up to the fireplace, which was little more than a smoldering flame now, he spotted Mari curled near the fireplace with little more than that the clothes she had worn earlier. Shuffling around the Kotatsu, he retrieved a quilted blanket and gently laid it over her. 

Managing to find the milk in the kitchen, he warmed the kettle and poured her some and set the Kotatsu as it was when he arrived. Placing a few biscuits on a plate, he placed them and the milk on the Kotatsu before making his way to the fireplace. Prodding the embers, he revived the flames enough to warm the room again. Re-adjusting his cloak, he drafted a small message to Mari thanking her once again for her kindness.

"Stay warm, Mari," he whispered before slipping out the door and into the frosted forest.

@Mari