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F21-SP [NT] One Million Club


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Guess what day it is? Farming day! Oscar shuddered at the thought. He wanted nothing more than to lie in bed and just sleep the day away. But his dwindling wallet was screaming at him to restore it to its former glory. Understandable. Previous generous acts had left him with a pittance compared to his maximum wallet value. He couldn't really rest while that task was outstanding. So, he gathered up his buffs and scarfed them down. He touched his Kumatetsu Statue gingerly and hit the door, familiar trailing behind him. A quick jaunt later and he had arrived at Deepedge. More specifically, he had arrived at the Teleportation Platform in Deepedge. He let out a sigh and stepped onto the stone dias. With a flash of light, he was whisked away, carried through time and space to his destination on Floor 21.

Kumatetsu Statue Activated [+1 DMG]
Queen's Honey Consumed [+3 DMG]

Imagine if Azrael Was a Hot Dog Consumed [+2 DMG, -30 MIT]
Evasion Dog Consumed [+2 EVA]
Diamond-Infused Hot Dog Consumed [+45 MIT]
Golden Dog Consumed [+3 Prosperity]

Crazy Lucky Hot Dog Consumed [+3 LD]

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Honestly, the only thing Oscar hated more than Farming at this point, was Spiders. Probably because the two both had something to do with one another. Their spindly legs and propensity to be creepy as fuck were secondary to the fact that Oscar had seen so many of them that he never wanted to see another one again. But, alas, he would never reach his goal of one million col unless he dealt with these arachnid fucks on the regular. He went to his usual spot, Money Shot in hand. He waited for a group of spiders to clump up so that he could catch them all in his cleave and then rushed forward with an Explode Catapult. He didn't even have to really aim. Absolute Accuracy made it so he would hit no matter what. He did, however, need to pay attention to the spiders' counterattacks. As per usual, however, they missed like the useless bugs they were. 

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Honestly, Oscar shuddered to think about what he'd need to fight once he'd leveled too high to be able to end creatures in two hits anymore. It seemed as if the monsters he fought leveled up as he did, gaining more health and damage in the process. Due to that, the loot they dropped was oftentimes better than their lower-leveled counterparts. Of course, Oscar had outleveled the lower floors and he was on track to outlevel these creatures too. Where would he go then? It didn't matter that much, he supposed. He could likely eke out a living elsewhere. But for now, the spiders assembled before him needed to be dealt with. A single Explode Catapult would do them in. Once slain, Oscar collected the loot from the shimmering spots that they had left in their wake. He was surprised at such a massive haul so quickly into his grinding session. Perhaps this day was looking up.

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Oscar wasted no time engaging the next group of spiders. He was ready to get this over with so he could go home. Perhaps he shouldn't have been so hasty. For, you see, though Oscar had cleaved through half of their collective health with a single stroke, two of them managed to land clean hits upon him. It would have been an issue if not for the copious amounts of Mitigation he came stocked with. His health bar barely flinched as the two spiders sunk their fangs into his shoulders. He would be concerned for venom if this had been his first time fighting these creatures. But it wasn't. And he wasn't. He shook them off of his body and let out an annoyed sigh. At least Battle Healing would be there to stitch him back up. It was a good feeling, not having to worry about managing his health. It often just managed itself. No input necessary. Interactive and engaging gameplay.

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As with the last group of enemies, the second group was lain low by Oscar's follow-up attack. A significant portion of the damage that they had managed to deal to him had been restored thanks to his Battle Healing. It was a shame, really. Oscar was in possession of one a powerful piece of restorative armor, yet he'd had yet to have an occasion to use it. Of course, these were normal enemies. It was probably par for the course that he wouldn't need to use his most powerful gear to deal with them. He possessed a full wardrobe of powerful equipment. It was rather tragic that they would only be reserved for Raid Bosses and the like. They were tuned solely for long, drawn out engagements. Not short bursts of combat like this. Even the more powerful quest bosses would barely require their use. Oscar collected his loot and moved on, wondering why he was chasing loot if he had equipment like this.

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Another round of combat. Another tick of Battle Healing brought Oscar closer to full health. He was on autopilot at this point. Throwing out Sword Arts without worrying about whether they would connect. He didn't even care if he got hit in the process. But he didn't. The spiders were dumb and inaccurate. They were kicked about by the sheer force that he brought to bear. The hope for additional loot kept him going. The desire to hit that one million mark overshadowed any issue he had with grinding his face against a cheese grater for the next couple of hours. It was approaching time for him to rest and restore his energy. Maybe he'd go for a nap or something. Even if he got aggressed while unconscious, he doubted that the creatures on this floor would be able to kill him by the time he woke up and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He really needed to find a better hobby.

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A final Explode Catapult heralded the end of the spiders he was fighting. Battle Healing had taken him all the way back to full health but it was juxtaposed by his almost-depleted energy bar. It was time to take a breather and pull himself together. But, before that, loot. He interacting with the glistening remnants of the spiders he destroyed. One by one, the contents of their "pockets" were added to his inventory. His wallet swelled, as did his inventory. Now it was time for him to find some place to rest and recover. As blase as he was over the prospect of getting attacked while his guard was down, he wasn't exactly looking forward to it. Maybe he'd poke his head back into town and wander for a while. Surely there was something there that would keep his interest and prevent him from heading home entirely too early. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
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As many times as Oscar had been here, he'd never really spent much time in the main settlement. Tomoika it was called. It was a real disservice that he had done to himself. The story of this floor was so woven into Oscar's own story that it was a wonder that he had never noticed. Indeed, he possessed the only remaining fragment of their God's power in this world. Tesseleth's Fury, passed down to him by Zandra, was a mere fraction of the Tyrant's strength. Even from the confines of his inventory, the shard seemed to resonate with the statues of the Tyrant that littered the settlement. The people, for their part, were all too happy to be free of the yoke of worship. Oscar would have to make a point to not brandish Tesseleth's Fury too much here. It wouldn't do to have the NPCs of this town suddenly aggressive to him. Especially if it was one of his few safe bastions against the spiders.

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It was probably best to go ahead and distance himself from Tomoika while he still had a chance. He made his way to the gate and slipped outside it. How he had been able to nonchalantly walk straight through town with the object of the people's oppression on his back so many times prior to this he would never know. It was rather fortunate that he had never been confronted about it while still laboring under his ignorance. So much the better. It wouldn't be long now before his energy bar refilled. It would be much better to be hard at it out in the wilds than to have an angry mob wanting to tear him apart in town. Even still, it was nice to see that the story of Floor 21 continued on with him. Sometimes, when you really looked at things, you'd be surprised by the sheer amount of dedication and intricacy that went into crafting the floors. Kayaba might have been a madman, but he was a genius madman.

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With full Energy, Oscar returned to his usual spot. By the time he'd returned, the spiders that he had slain previously had respawned. He waited just a bit, giving the spiders time to clump up. Once they had, he dashed in. Money Shot took on a dark blue glow as Oscar charged up his sword art. He cleaved through the spiders with Explode Catapult, reducing the lot of them down to half health. There was just something about the first groups that Oscar engaged. They seemed to be more accurate than the rest. One spider managed to clamp down on his shoulder, dealing a small amount of damage. Not a big deal. No poison, just a little pinch. Oscar grabbed the spider by the thorax and slammed it to the ground. He didn't have time for this uppity fucking spider. It was time for it to learn its place. In the dirt.

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Oscar swung into the spiders again. Explode Catapult dropped them all down to zero. One by one, the spiders shattered like glass. Their remaining shards disappeared over the horizon, carried aloft by the breeze. In their places were left four glimmering spots. Upon interacting with them, Oscar added their loot to the pile. He took a beat to acquire his next targets. He let out a contented sigh and pushed forward. All told, this outing was proving to be very profitable. Not just in col, but in unidentified gear as well. Perhaps he might actually get something useful the next time he visited a merchant. Odds were there would be something of use in his burgeoning amount of unidentified gears. Or, maybe his luck would defy the odds and he wouldn't get anything at all. That would be lame, honestly. But, it was always a possibility. Only remedy for that was more farming.

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Second group. It's go time. Oscar rushed in with reckless abandon. Money Shot glinted in the sunlight, it's gaudy golden surface seeming to radiate wealth. Oscar sliced through the group with Explode Catapult, bringing the collective health values down to half. He'd been a touch too reckless, however. Two of the spiders clamped down on him, piling even more of their pitiful damage onto him. He shook the arachnid foes off and punted them away. He winced and shook the soreness from his joints. It didn't really hurt, but the pressure felt like knots were forming in his upper back. It was rather unpleasant. With that done, he watched as the spiders skittered about and waited for an opportunity to take his next shot. His next Money Shot that is. He laughed a little at the thought. Fuck he was a really funny guy.

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Money Shot tore the spiders apart. They shattered like glass one after another, their residual fragments carried off on the wind. In their wake, the spiders left the glimmering spots. Oscar collected his loot. This was definitely typed by hand and not copy-pasted from another post. I know what it looks like, but I promise you I wrote this entire post by hand. There's only so many ways one can say "the spiders died and Oscar collected his loot" before it starts to get samey. Word count be trippin'. Even so, Oscar was happy to see that his Col earned had broken the one hundred thousand mark. That meant that he was almost done for the day. Just a few more rounds of combat to go and he would be done.

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One more group and he would be out of energy for a spell. He would need to rest up after this engagement. But, until then, it was time to do some spider blending. He found a third group all clumped together and ready to get rocked. Oscar rushed forward, swinging his axe wildly. It didn't matter how wildly he swung, his blows always found their marks. Seconds after engagement, the spiders were slain. Perhaps, he could have stood to be more cautious though. Either that or this most recent batch of spiders had their scope lenses on. Either way, another spider managed to sink its fangs into Oscar's shoulder. Battle Healing was able to keep pace with the incoming damage somewhat, but it was still rather annoying to get blatted about like that. Ultimately, it didn't matter however. They'd be dead soon.

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A final reckoning was delivered to the spiders. Oscar had become rather annoyed at their constant needling of his shoulder blades. This annoyance colored his final attack. With a surprising ferocity, Oscar cleaved through them. They didn't simply shatter when he was done with them. They exploded. The force of their explosion sent their residual shards flying off in all directions like shrapnel. Fortunately, those that struck Oscar shattered on impact, dealing no damage. He let out a sigh of relief and collected his loot. One more good round of combat and he would be ready to go home. Until then, he would need to wait for his energy to restore. Even though he wouldn't burn through his entire energy bar, he didn't really have a choice in the matter. His energy restored in two ticks and then full replenishment. There was no middle ground.

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Instead of heading back to town, Oscar sat himself down on a rock and just decided to chill for a bit. As he sat, he watched the spiders respawn. It was rather funny to watch them skitter about aimlessly. They were larger than your average spiders. Much larger. About the size of a medium-sized dog, really. Their legs only served to make them that much larger and that much more intimidating. And then he saw something that completely changed his life. There was a glowing spot on the ground that caught one of the spiders' attention. It skittered over, twitching its legs as it observed the item. And then, quick as a flash - so quickly that if Oscar had blinked he would have missed it - it snapped up the item and thrust it towards its thorax. It disappeared on contact. Oscar could scarcely believe what he'd just seen. So many hours spent theorizing and it had been proven by mere happenstance.

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Spider pockets! They existed! Oscar knew that there was no way that they could carry so much loot without having some sort of hammerspace attached to their bodies. He leaped for joy. Strangely, the spiders began to scatter. The hair on Oscar's neck stood on end. He suddenly got an unexplained urge to look up. As he did, he saw four massive spiders descending from on high, held aloft by strands of silk. They touched down on the ground, surrounding Oscar on all four cardinal directions. Their beady eyes bore into his very soul. And then one of them spoke:

We are the arbiters of the Spider Council. You have seen too much mortal and now you must die. No one can ever know of the pockets our kin possess. I wish you hadn't witnessed it. Goodbye.

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The Giga Spiders had picked a bad time to engage Oscar. As soon as they moved to strike, his Energy Bar ticked back up to full. Oscar didn't know what the Spider Council was, but he sure as hell wasn't about to get smeared across the cave floor like this. Especially not after being vindicated for so long. Oscar struck first, carving through the Giga Spiders with a powerful Explode Catapult. Their massive size did them no favors - even if Oscar hadn't been wielding Money Shot. A cool third of their health bar was carved away in a single swipe. In response, the closest spider sent Oscar sailing through the air with a mere flick of one of its forelegs. As he crashed into the ground, he noticed that for all the power, the Giga Spider hadn't done much more actual damage than its lesser brethren. An interesting development indeed. He picked himself up off the ground and made ready for the next round.

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Rallying from the heavy hit delivered to him from the Giga Spider, Oscar rushed forward. He was forced to stop and change direction as one of the spiders shot a strand of silk at him. He knew that getting hit by one of them would be a death sentence. He zigged and zagged, slowly advancing into their midst while dodging the shots of silk. Then dodging the flailing limbs. Then dodging the gnashing fangs. Truly, their Giga status was meant purely for intimidation. If they wanted to be actually dangerous, perhaps they should have sent something the size of a regular spider. Oscar would have had a hell of a time dealing with that. But these? Not even close. He planted his feet and swung his axe in a wide arc around his body. Another third of their collective health was shredded. After only taking a single hit, Oscar's victory, survival, and vindication were assured.

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Their attempts to keep Oscar at bay having failed, the Giga Spiders attempted to retreat back to the safety of the cave ceiling. Oscar was not about to be having that. If they managed to escape, they would return only with greater numbers. This floor would be forever locked off to him due to inexplicably-aggressive Giga Spiders. While that wouldn't be the worst thing, he wasn't going to take the risk that they would one day get lucky and manage to defeat him. A final Explode Catapult rang out. One by one, the Giga Spiders shattered - their health bars having reached zero. Oscar collected his loot and made a quick escape. As he returned to town, he realized that no one would ever believe what he saw. But that didn't matter. He knew what he saw. He had finally been vindicated. His countless nights of theorizing had not been for naught. And that made it all worthwhile.

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