[F16/PP]Pirate Kneecaps

[Oscar 0]

Quest

A pirate quest. But not just any pirate quest. A pirate quest that required participants to board the pirate's vessel and exterminate them with extreme prejudice. Oscar knew exactly who he wanted to run this quest with. He opened his menu, standing before the vessel that would bear him to the quest location. He quickly typed out a message and hit send. He beamed with glee at what he had just unleashed upon his friend. It seemed rather fitting considering the subject matter of the quest. Plus, it was definitely in-line with the cheesy level of humor that Freyd would have come to expect from the man at this point. That being said, somehow he doubted that Freyd would be prepared for this level of shitpost:

 

Quote

Aw shit, get your towels ready it's about to go down 
Everybody in the place hit the fucking deck 
But stay on your motherfucking toes
We running this, let's go

I'm on a boat!
also please come help with a quest on Floor 16, 'kay?

 

Spoiler

Name: Oscar
Level: 72
HP: 1470/1470
EN: 144/144

Stats:
Damage: 19
Mitigation: 106
Evasion: 3
Accuracy: 4
BH:73
FLN:12
BRN:36

Equipped Gear:
Weapon: <<TESSELETH'S FURY>> - T3/DEMONIC/2HBA - BRN 2, FLN 2
Armor: << MYTHRIL GREAVES >> T3/PERFECT/HEAVY ARMOR - MITI 3 (+81)
Misc: << IVORY GOLD LEAF RING >> T1 DEMONIC TRINKET - +2 ACC, +2 EVA

Skills:
Two Handed Battle Axe [Rank 5]
Battle Healing [Rank 5]
Light Armor [Rank 5]
Parry [Obtained]
Searching [Rank 5]
First Aid [Rank 5]
Extended Mod Limit [R3]

Extra Skills:
Fighter Mastery: Fighter
Concentration
Survival
Meditation

Mods:
Ferocity
Precision
Finesse R3
Athletics
Sprint and Acrobatics
Justified Riposte
Field Medic
Barrier R3

Battle Ready Inventory:
Teleportation Crystal*1
Empty Slot*1
Empty Slot*1
Empty Slot*1
Empty Slot*1
Empty Slot*1

Housing Buffs:
Well Rested: -1 energy cost for the first three expenditures of each combat
Squeaky Clean: The first time you would suffer DoT damage in a thread, reduce damage taken from DoT each turn by 25% (rounded down)
Hard Working: +2 EXP per crafting attempt and +1 crafting attempt per day
Filling: Increase the effectiveness of a single food item consumed in a thread by +1 T1 slot.
Item Stash: +1 Battle Ready Inventory Slot
Delicious: Turn 3 identical food items (same quality, tier, & enhancements) into a Feast. A Feast contains 6 portions of the food items sacrificed.
Relaxed: Increases out of combat HP regen by (5 * Tier HP) and decreases full energy regen to 2 Out of Combat Posts.
Skylight (Searching): +1 Rank to the Searching skill.
Angler: +1 material gained when fishing
Basic Training: +1 SP to a thread. Limit one use per month [1/1]

Oscar | HP:1470/1470 | EN:144/144 | DMG:19 | MIT:106 | EVA:3 | ACC:4 | FLN:12 | BRN:36 | BH:73

 

[Freyd 0]

Freyd received and read the message thinking... "What the hell?  Only Oscar."  This was exactly what he needed: an opportunity to go kick some ass with someone who knew why and could toss the moral baggage overboard when it got in the way.  Racing from his shop and home to the central portal in Angel Point, he paused as he approached the central arch.  Some time ago he'd commissioned an item from Raidou, but hadn't quite found the right opportunity to wear it.  This seemed like the perfect occasion.  Removing and storing his trademark cowl, Freyd donned the black mask and bandana - both of style and cut to make even the dread pirate Roberts proud.

Stepping through the portal, Freyd sauntered towards the docks like a proper scallywag.  Oscar would likely be about somewhere nearby, terrorizing some frantic-looking sailor with psycho-analysis, glare and the sheer overwhelming power of stale hot-dog breath.

Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows | HP:1310/1310 | EN:143/143 | DMG:19 | MIT:79 | EVA:2 | ACC:4 | HLY:6 | FLN:6 | LD:4 | BH:65

Spoiler

Name: Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows
Level: 64
HP: 1310/1310
EN: 143/143

Stats:
Damage: 19
Mitigation: 79
Evasion: 2
Accuracy: 4
BH:65
HLY:6
FLN:6
LD:4

Equipped Gear:
Weapon: Samael's Pride (T3-2HSS, ACC 1, HOLY 1, FLN 1)
Armor: Skirmisher's Garb (T3 LA, MIT 2, EVA 1)
Misc: Night Shades (T3-Trinket, ACC 3)

Skills:
2H Straight Sword [Rank 5]
Light Armor [Rank 5]
Searching [Rank 3]
Battle Healing [Rank 5]
Parry [Obtained]
Energist [Obtained]
Charge [Rank 2]
Extended Mod Limit R1 [Obtained]

Extra Skills:
Disguise
Familiar Mastery: Fighter 3
Survival

Mods:
Precision
Finesse - Rank 3
LA Athletics
Ferocity
LA Sprint and Acrobatics
Night Vision

Battle Ready Inventory:
Teleport Crystals*5
Concentrated Joy (T3 Vitality 2)*3
Missing You (Instant T3 HP Recovery)*2
Fruit-Infused Tea (T3 HP Recovery)*5
Imugi's Inspiration (T3 Mass HP Recovery)*5
Assassin's Cowl (T2 Trinket, ACC 2, Keen 1)
Grave Injustice (T3-2HSS, ACC 1, Keen 1, Abs. ACC)*1

Housing Buffs:
Rested: -1 energy cost for the first two expenditures of each combat
Clean: The first time you would suffer DoT damage in a thread, reduce damage taken from DoT each turn by 20% (rounded down)
Hard Working: +2 EXP per crafting attempt and +1 crafting attempt per day
Filling: Increase the effectiveness of a single food item consumed in a thread by +1 T1 slot.
Item Stash: +1 Battle Ready Inventory Slot
Tasty: Turn 2 identical food items into a Lesser Feast. A Lesser Feast contains 4 portions of the food items sacrificed.
Relaxed: Increases out of combat HP regen by (5 * Tier HP) and decreases full energy regen to 2 Out of Combat Posts.
Skylight (Searching): +1 Rank to the Searching skill.
Angler: +1 material gained when fishing
Advanced Training: +2 SP to a thread. Limit one use per month [0/1]
Multipurpose: Gain +1 to LD, Stealth Rating, Stealth Detection, or Prosperity to one post in a thread. Can be applied after a roll
Decor [Potted Tanabata Bamboo Tree]: This buff affects the player and their choice of up to two party members.

Guild Hall Buffs:
Lucrative: Reduce LD needed for Salvage by 5 (10+ for Alchemist crystals, 6+ for everything else). +2 EXP per craft. Rank 9 crafters receive +1 crafting attempt per day. Rank 10 crafters receive +2 crafting attempts per day.
Col Deposit: +5% bonus col from last-hit monster kills and +10% bonus col from treasure chests.

Scents of the Wild:

Wedding Ring:

Spoiler

Night Shades (T3 Perfect Trinket – ACC 3)
Acquisition ID: # | Identification ID: #166287 (Made by Raidou)
A black ebonweave mask and bandana set with a slightly hawkish style. They are terribly comfortable to wear and make the wearer’s intention inconceivable.
(Obtained by Freyd: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/19822-guild-member-gear/?do=findComment&comment=622069)

 

[Oscar 0]

Oscar was riding high off the heels of his shitpost, so he wasn't expecting Freyd to join him so quickly. In the interim, Oscar had busied himself "convincing" a sailor to take them out to the cove to deal with the pirate menace. For a town so terrorized by the high-seas bandits, they weren't very willing to help deal with the problem. Finally, Oscar had had enough and just assumed command of the boat himself. He was just stepping up to the helm - despite the captain's protests - when he saw Freyd approaching dressed like a proper pirate. Oscar waved the man over with his right while simultaneously pushing the frantic NPC away with his left. "HEY FREYD CUT THAT ROPE FOR ME WILL YA?" He was talking about the line that kept the vessel tethered to the docks of course. In order to slay the pirates, they would then need to become the pirates apparently. Oscar didn't make the rules. He just broke them.

[Freyd 0]

"They're called mooring lines, and cutting them is kinda dumb, 'cuz..."  Grabbing the coarse and heavy loop of rope, Freyd casually flipped it off the mooring post, stepping off the dock with a casual stretch of his leg and onto the boat proper.  Though, if he were any judge, it wasn't really a proper boat.  

"Don't worry Uncle 'Frantic', we'll have the car back by midnight!"  He waved without looking at the elderly gentlemen who sat perpetually next to the frantic sailor, puffing on a pipe until you let him take you to Ill Man's Cove, or basically did it yourself.  Freyd had already completed this quest once and knew the way.  There was no sense uprooting the poor guy, especially if he'd just started his smoke.  Besides... the yellowy beard that was bigger than the man's entire face creeped him out a little bit.  He had beady eyes too, leading Freyd to wonder how easily the buccaneers might have stolen his nephew's vessel in the first place.

"Hey!"  Freyd said, wandering up next to Oscar, not that there was really anywhere else to go in their tiny dinghy.  "I hear you need a pirate-smiting expert.  Dread Pirate Freyd, at your service!"  He bowed with bombastic flair. 

"What's new?"

[Oscar 0]

It was adorable how Freyd thought they were going to be bringing this boat back. Didn't he know that the cove was blocked by a pirate ship? Probably not. Either way, by the time Freyd had jumped on board, Oscar was already at full sail. He was making engine noises with his mouth while he turned the wheel side to side. The ship was getting faster, the dock a mere speck on behind them as Oscar steered them out into open ocean. On the other side of the bay was a cove where the pirates usually moored their ship and counted their ill-gotten gains. Oscar had chosen this ship specifically because of the massive amount of gunpowder in the hold. "Not much," Oscar replied. "Just getting ready to blow some fools to kingdom come." The cove was in sight. Oscar set the ship on a collision course with the pirate's vessel parked perpendicular to the entrance. He tied the wheel down with some rope that was just lying around and then ducked below deck. He was gone for a moment, but when he came back, he had a barrel of gunpowder under his arm and was creating a trail to the front of the ship. "Hey, uh. You might wanna get ready to boogie." 

With that, he tapped the haft of Tesseleth's Fury on the deck. A black spark ignited the gunpowder, which started to burn swiftly along the trail he'd made below decks. The ship's trajectory remained true and, before long, Oscar could make out the whites of the eyes of the pirates unfortunate enough to still be on the ship. "CHOO CHOO MOTHA FUCKAS!" With that battle cry, his ship collided with the pirates'. At that moment, the gunpowder below deck ignited, turning both ships into a massive fireball. It was a scene out of a B-rate Action Movie. Oscar fell in slow motion, camera cutting about twenty-five different times before he finally landed on the ground and tucked into a forward somersault. The pirates before him were shocked at his sudden arrival and didn't immediately skewer him out of existence. He popped up on his feet, readied his weapon, and said with a smile. "Hope that thing was insured." Oscar wasn't at all worried about Freyd. Dude was probably fine.

[Freyd 0]

Stepping out of the wreckage, smoke billowing about him yet leaving him untouched, Freyd brandished his blade with flair and flurry.  Confused and disoriented pirates bobbed about the beach, checking on injured comrades, most of them perforated with splintered hunks of what was once their ship.  Most shambled around, their wits addled by Oscar's blast, too stunned to piece together the threat, or drunk to realize what had just happened.  Somewhere in the background, someone called out.  "Why is the rum gone?!"

A handful of sober and more capable deck hands rallied to face their assailants, their blades outnumbering their collective teeth.  One of the gawped as he saw Freyd and Oscar advancing.

"Whush dis den?" He slurred at the bizarre pairing, one wearing an elaborate suit and vest, the other looking like Errol Flynn and Ezio Auditore's secret love child.  "Hoo in Calypsho's short and curlies do yuh too t'ink y'argh?!"

Freyd didn't bother answering, and just pressed forward to engage them.  He'd been looking for an opportunity to cut loose, and this was going to be it.

 

Freyd activates Parry (-5 EN)

Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows | HP:1310/1310 | EN:138/143 | DMG:19 | MIT:79 | EVA:2 | ACC:4 | HLY:6 | FLN:6 | LD:4 | BH:65 | PARRY

[Oscar 0]

As the pirate officers arrived on the scene, Oscar got this party started right with an Explode Catapult. They had previously been barking at the pair in their Pirate-ese, but Oscar wasn't having any of it. He stepped into the midst of the officers and what little members of the crew that we're drop-dead drunk or drop-dead splattered by the explosion. Tesseleth's Fury moved in a wide arc, carving through flesh and cutlass alike as if they were butter. The heat from the explosion or the heat from his axe left nasty burns on a couple of them. Before they could turn their ire or their steel towards him, however, Oscar bounded back and handed the Killing Floor over to Freyd who had, indeed, survived the massive explosion that had heralded their entry. "Go get 'em champ. I softened 'em up for ya." Oscar stabbed the butt of his axe into the sands beneath his feet and shot finger guns at his companion. It was fun not to take serious situations seriously.
 

Spoiler

Oscar HP:1470/1470 | EN:126/144 | DMG:19 | MIT:106 | EVA:3 | ACC:4 | FLN:12 | BRN:36 | BH:73
Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows HP: 1310/1310 | EN: 143/143 | DMG: 19 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 79 | HLY: 6 | FLN: 6 | LD: 4 | BH: 65

Explode Catapult[x14] vs Amir, Jessamine, Deckhands 1 & 2 -18 EN [Rested 1/3, Finesse]

[Os1, Fr0] Boatswain Amir HP: 194/400 | DMG: 125 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 60 | ID: 172441 | BD: 5+3-2, Deal 206 DMG
[Os1, Fr0] Boatswain Jessamine HP: 120/350 | DMG: 175 | ACC: 2 | MIT 50 | ID: 172442 | BD: 9, Deal 230 DMG, BRN applied
[Os1, Fr0] Pirate Deckhand1 HP: 24/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40 | ID: 172444 | BD: 5+3, Deal 226 DMG
[Os1, Fr0] Pirate Deckhand2 HP: 10/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40 | ID: 172445 | BD: 9, Deal 240 DMG, BRN applied
Pirate Deckhand3 HP: 250/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40
Pirate Deckhand4 HP: 250/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40

 

[Freyd 0]

His eyes still on Oscar's ridiculous pose, Freyd flashed his sword through the sand, flinging an assortment of sand, shells and startled crustaceans at the remaining pirate rabble.  Fearsome, yar- and avast-infused battlecries became a chorus of girlish pleas calling out: 'My eyes! MY EYES!!!' and 'Oh god!  Not the face!  NOT THE FACE!'.  Ducking below wild cutless slashes, the Whisper dispatched both lingering deckhands with little effort.  Jessamine still have half a starfish caught on her face and never saw the stab that struck her through it.  Like the others, she burst into a smearing cloud of red crystals that vanished into the thick smoke still billowing over the battlefield from the wrecks behind them.

Amir tried to get flashy, whipping out his rapier and executing a well-choreographed flurry that culminated in a hit directly in the middle of Freyd's forehead.  Instead of the devastating crit he thought he'd landed, the boatswain's sword bent awkwardly, the tip pressed into his opponent's flesh.  Freyd's health bar dipped slightly as a consolation prize.  The Whisper, meanwhile, pointed directed Amir's gaze downward with his free hand, to where Samael's prize had much more effectively pierced the man's groin.

"That's a bad beat, fella," Freyd added, sympathetically, before scoring a point for team 'players' in the air and winking at the poor, doomed pirate.

Spoiler

Oscar HP:1470/1470 | EN:126/144 | DMG:19 | MIT:106 | EVA:3 | ACC:4 | FLN:12 | BRN:36 | BH:73
Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows HP: 1263/1310 | EN: 127/143 | DMG: 19 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 79 | HLY: 6 | FLN: 6 | LD: 4 | BH: 65

Calamity Disaster [x12 AoE + 8 for hits] = 20 EN - (Rested 1/2, Finesse 3) = 16 EN

ID #172578 | BD: 3 + 4 - 2 +1 (Applies Potted Tanabata Tree for +1 BD) = 7 (hit).  Freyd deals (19*12=228-60 = 168) damage to Boatswain Amir.
ID #172579 | BD: 9  (Crit +1, Holy +6). Freyd deals (26*12=312-50 = 362) damage to Boatswain Jessamine.
ID #172580 | BD: 2 + 4 = 6 (hit). Freyd deals (19*12=228-40 = 188) damage to Pirate Deckhand #1.
ID #172582 | BD: 7 + 4 = 11 (hit, Fallen +6).Freyd deals (25*12=300-40 = 260) damage to Pirate Deckhand #2.

Keen triggers.

ID #172578 | MD: 9 (crit +1).  Boatswain Amir deals (126-79=47) damage to Freyd.
ID #172586 | MD: 5 - 2 = 3 (miss).  Pirate Deckhand #3 misses Freyd.
ID #172587 | MD: 7 - 2 = 5 (miss).  Pirate Deckhand #4 misses Freyd.

[Os1, Fr1] Boatswain Amir HP: 26/400 | DMG: 125 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 60 (194-168)
[Os1, Fr2] Boatswain Jessamine HP: 120/350 | DMG: 175 | ACC: 2 | MIT 50 120-362)
[Os1, Fr1] Pirate Deckhand1 HP: 24/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40 (24-188)
[Os1, Fr1] Pirate Deckhand2 HP: 10/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40 (10-260)
Pirate Deckhand3 HP: 250/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40
Pirate Deckhand4 HP: 250/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40

 

[Oscar 0]

If one had to describe Freyd's tussle with the pirates, one would have to first hearken back to the first days of animation. It had been very difficult to animate choreographed fracases with any semblance of realism. Ergo, cartoon shorthand became just a dust cloud accompanied by a cacophony of sounds and squeals. With that being the industry standard, anything else simply wasn't worth the effort and was prohibitively expensive. So it was basically one of those old-fashioned chaotic messes a la Tom and Jerry.  So much the better as it thinned the herd. But once Oscar saw where Freyd's blade had landed on Amir, he could only recoil visibly.

"Come on now, man. You didn't have to hack off his Pieces of Eight!"

Oscar dashed forward and lopped of the heats of Amir and the two closest Deckhands to him, while leaving the survivor in a terrible state. A mercy kill. No man should have to go out like that, NPC or no.

Spoiler

Oscar HP:1470/1470 | EN:109/144 | DMG:19 | MIT:106 | EVA:3 | ACC:4 | FLN:12 | BRN:36 | BH:73
Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows HP: 1263/1310 | EN: 127/143 | DMG: 19 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 79 | HLY: 6 | FLN: 6 | LD: 4 | BH: 65

Explode Catapult [x14] -18 EN [2/3 Well-Rested, Finesse]

Boatswain Amir HP: 0/400 | DMG: 125 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 60 | ID: 173327 | BD: 10, Deal 248 DMG
Pirate Deckhand3 HP: 0/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40 | ID: 173328 | BD: 7+4, Deal 394 DMG
[Os1, Fr0] Pirate Deckhand4 HP: 24/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40 | ID: 173329 | BD: 5+4, Deal 226 DMG
Pirate Deckhand5 HP: 0/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40 | ID: 173330 | BD: 6+4, Deal 394 DMG

[Freyd 0]

"Dude was gonna pierce my forehead.  I pierced his fores..."

RAAAAARRGHH!

The last remaining deckhand had apparently elected to go kamakaze rather than face the same possible fate as his comrades, whose crystalline shard-like afterlife was still settling in the smoke filled haze around them.

*THOK*

The hilt of Samael's Pride smacked the man squarely between the eyes, momentarily stunning him while the blade spun with Freyd as its fulcrum and disconnected his head from the rest of his torso.  

"Wow... this went a lot faster than last time."  Freyd mentioned, casually.  He was still expecting captain what's-his-fuss... the one with the eye patch... to show up any minute and act all badass.  He could only imagine Oscar and the scallywag getting into some kind of absurd staring contest, arguing with each other over who had the more intimidating scowl.  It could still happen.  The small size of this pirate crew also always seemed disappointing, but Oscar's initial ship-borne assault had at least provided a plausible explanation - no one else had survived.

Spoiler

Oscar HP:1470/1470 | EN:110/144 | DMG:19 | MIT:106 | EVA:3 | ACC:4 | FLN:12 | BRN:36 | BH:73
Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows HP: 1263/1310 | EN: 127/143 | DMG: 19 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 79 | HLY: 6 | FLN: 6 | LD: 4 | BH: 65

Cyclone [x4]: 4 EN - (Rested 2/2, Finesse 3, Turn Recovery] = 0 EN

ID #173332 | BD: 7 + 4 = 11 (hit, Fallen +6).  Freyd deals (4*25=100-40=60) damage to Pirate Deckhand #4.

[Os1, Fr0] Pirate Deckhand4 HP: 24/250 | DMG: 85 | MIT: 40 (24-60)

 

[Oscar 0]

With the small fry dealt with, everything seemed like it was coming to a close. The pirates had either left this mortal coil by merit of alcohol poisoning or acute metal toxicity. Some even lost their jewels in the process. But just as Oscar was ready to head back, the quest tracker updated with one final target. Burlock, the Quartermaster walked through the chaos with a certain level of calm. Blade and pistol at the ready, it was almost as if he were parting the ocean the way the crew members flailed in every direction but his as he approached. Truly, this was a fearsome enemy.

A fearsome enemy that Oscar immediately drop-kicked and slammed Tesseleth's Fury into while he was down. The stars aligned and all of his damage-boosting enhancements applied to the unfortunate officer at the same time. Oscar put his foot on the pirate's chest to hold him down. The force of his sudden impact jostled the flintlock pistol out of Burlock's hand. Oscar grabbed it from the air as it fell and took aim at the pirate's legs. Two shots rang out in quick succession and both of Burlock's kneecaps were destroyed by a pair of musket balls. "Git 'im!"

Spoiler

Oscar HP:1470/1470 | EN:111/144 | DMG:19 | MIT:106 | EVA:3 | ACC:4 | FLN:12 | BRN:36 | BH:73
Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows HP: 1263/1310 | EN: 127/143 | DMG: 19 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 79 | HLY: 6 | FLN: 6 | LD: 4 | BH: 65

Explode Catapult [x14] -12 EN [3/3 Well-Rested, Finesse]

[Os1, Fr0] [BRN 0/2]Burlock, the Quartermaster HP: 246/600 | DMG: 165 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 80 | ID: 173339 | BD: 8+4-2, Deal 354 DMG, BRN Applied

[Freyd 0]

Burlock was a more wily foes than either of them had expected.  Wounded as he was, and still very much on fire, he gave them both the toothy grin of a madman and flopped his leg onto a nearby trail of liquid that seemed to be wicking from a large, nearby barrel of rum.  Freyd barely had a moment to shout a warning before the entire scene burst into flames once more amidst the sound of the mad, cackling quartermaster.  

Freyd crashed into the shallow wasters of the shore, a dozen yards away from where he'd previously stood.  The salt stung his eyes and the superficial flashburn from the barrel.  It must have been nearly empty and full of vapours to have combusted with that much force - or some environment designer had gotten a bit too carried away with the pirate imagery.  Burlock was still chuckling away, even as the flames engulfed the bulk of his torso.  Oscar stood over the man, glowering, his face covered in a radial pattern of soot, along with the rest of his suit.  Somehow, the man remained unmoved and glowering over the pirate.  

"How the hell did I get flung over here, and you just get to stand there looking all epic?" Freyd laughed as he cursed Cardinal and its damnable, misfortune-filled vendetta against him.  There probably wouldn't be much of Burlock left by the time he get back over there.

Spoiler

Oscar HP:1411/1470 | EN:111/144 | DMG:19 | MIT:106 | EVA:3 | ACC:4 | FLN:12 | BRN:36 | BH:73
Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows HP: 1310/1310 | EN: 126/143 | DMG: 19 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 79 | HLY: 6 | FLN: 6 | LD: 4 | BH: 65

Freyd recovers 47 HP from BH (max health).

Freyd activates charge.

Galaxy Destroyer (x13): -2 (miss) + 1 turn rec

ID #174056 | BD: 4+4-2-1= 5 (miss).  Freyd misses Burlock.

Burlock suffers 36 burn damage.

ID #174057 | MD: 7+2-3=6 (hit).  Burlock deals (165-106=59) damage to Oscar.  (CD: 6 - No proc)

[Os1, Fr0] [BRN 1/2] Burlock, the Quartermaster HP: 198/600 (-36) | DMG: 165 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 80

All Hands On Deck!: Immune to Paralysis/Stun.

Black Spot: Burlock’s cutlass is coated with a thin poison. On a successful hit, with a nat. CD rolls of 10-12, the target suffers 30 Poison Damage for their next two turns.

Davy’ Jones Locker: On nat. BD rolls of 9, Burlock deals 50 additional damage. On nat. BD rolls of 10,  Burlock deals 100 additional damage.

 

[Oscar 0]

As Oscar glowered down at Burlock, the tiny sliver of health that the pirate had managed to remove from his health bar immediately regenerated. He watched as the smug self-satisfied look on Burlock's face melt away into one of horror. Oscar produced a handkerchief from his pocket and began wiping the soot off of his face, somehow maintaining eye contact with the pirate caught beneath his feet. Burlock began to thrash and claw at the sand, desperate for purchase to extricate himself from the madman that was applying several hundred pounds of pressure to his chest cavity. Oscar took his time, content in the knowledge that the pirate wasn't going anwhere to clean himself up. Then, he dropped the soot-stained rag to the ground and let it shatter like glass. "Ya dun fucked up," were the last words Burlock would hear as Tesseleth's Fury removed his head from his shoulders. The pirate shattered like glass and was no more. Oscar turned to Freyd with a grin. "Because I am the badass in this relationship."

Spoiler

Oscar HP:1470/1470 | EN:99/144 | DMG:19 | MIT:106 | EVA:3 | ACC:4 | FLN:12 | BRN:36 | BH:73
Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows HP: 1310/1310 | EN: 126/143 | DMG: 19 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 79 | HLY: 6 | FLN: 6 | LD: 4 | BH: 65

Explode Catapult[x14] -13 EN [Finesse]

Burlock, the Quartermaster HP: 0/600 | DMG: 165 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 80 | ID: 174652 | BD: 10, Deal 214 DMG

All Hands On Deck!: Immune to Paralysis/Stun.

Black Spot: Burlock’s cutlass is coated with a thin poison. On a successful hit, with a nat. CD rolls of 10-12, the target suffers 30 Poison Damage for their next two turns.

Davy’ Jones Locker: On nat. BD rolls of 9, Burlock deals 50 additional damage. On nat. BD rolls of 10,  Burlock deals 100 additional damage.

 

[Freyd 0]

"Granted," Freyd replied jovially, his eyes scouring the wreckage for signs of any further pirate activity.  The scene around them was on of utter chaos and calamity.  Fires burned.  The two ship were completely destroyed and most of the cargo had gone the same way.  This cumbersome curse of fouling up attacks at critical moments did have a silver lining: earning a reputation as an incompetent fighter left enemies overconfident.  He wasn't aiming for the overwhelming smites.  His goal was consistency over time - reliability.  He played the long game in all things.  Oscar, meanwhile, reveled in his role as the blunt instrument of destruction.  The man was no fool, but enjoyed playing the role.  Admittedly, he played it well.

"Sooo...." Freyd began, recalling a conversation on the video-game nature of this world, "I'm pretty sure that we were meant to return this vessel to that Orlando Bloom look alike we got the quest from."  His gaze surveyed the carnage Oscar's badassery had cause.  "Any ideas on how we're going to stitch all of this back together again?"

[Oscar 0]

At Freyd's question, Oscar began to scan the ruins of the two ships strewn all over the beach. After a short search, Oscar eventually found a plank with the name of the ship carved into it. Unbreakable, it was called. Ironic, given how exploded it was. Maybe that only applied to the plaque that contained the name? Either way, Oscar plucked it from the sand and added it to his inventory. "Quest didn't say we had to return it all in one piece, bud." With that out of the way, the more pressing concern was upon them. How were they supposed to get back? This cove was in the middle of the "sea" and they had no method of crossing the ocean to get back. Oscar supposed that they could cobble together some sort of dinghy out of the materials that were strewn about. As he thought on his options, inspiration struck. Or, perhaps, buried itself in the sand. Two massive cannons fell from the heavens and landed with a loud crash. Hearkening back to his experience with the zombies during one of the Halloween events, Oscar knew just what to do. "So, fancy being shot out of a cannon?"

[Freyd 0]

"Heh..."  Freyd chuckled at Oscar's claiming of the name plaque.  "Yeah.  I can embrace technicalities.  Let's hope the system is willing to do the same."  Given the loose interpretation that seemed standard under Cardinal's rules, there was a good chance that it would work.  Then Oscar got that look in his eyes.  The same look that so often involved some sort of cartoonish acrobatic routine, and was frequently accompanied by some form of face-planting.

"Yeah.  Alright.  I'm in."  It was probably going to happen to him accidentally anyway.  Why not just embrace it and see where it led?  Besides, with Oscar around, these sorts of shenanigan were invariably hilarious, and that was precisely why he'd chosen to accompany him on this quest.

"Won't we have to fire each other simultaneously?  Or were you planning to fire yourself off afterwards."

He scratched his head, considering the logistics and surveyed the available supplies.  "Yeah.  We can do this."

 

[Oscar 0]

Without a word, Oscar hoisted one of the cannons into a ready position. The fact that he was lifting several tons of steel like it was a mere feather was not lost on him. It was almost hilarious in its absurdity. With a dull thunk, the cannon was slammed down. Oscar turned to face the horizon, getting a bead on their heading and then slowly adjusted the barrel by nudging the entire thing with his foot. He repeated the process with the second cannon and held out his hand to the side. As if summoned from the ether, several undamaged barrels of gunpowder landed in his open palm, perfectly stacked on top of one another. He divided their contents into the cannon barrels and then ran a long fuse. Long enough that they would have enough time to clamber in. "Alright, let's do this!" Without any further ado, Oscar stuffed himself into his cannon and waited with giddy excitement to be exploded out towards the horizon.

[Freyd 0]

Freyd busied himself preparing the second cannon, laughing softly the entire time.  "This is totally insane... I love it."  Calculating the ballistic trajectory was a piece of cake.  He'd already made the trip several times.  "We just need to make sure that neither one of us accidentally hits a seagull or something."  The smoke had fortunately already cleared most of them from the area. 

Measuring out a fuse of equal length to that which Oscar had set for his own cannon.  Everything was properly braced and set.  The angles were good.  Wind speed was accounted for, and the sky was clear of obstacles.  Size differential meant that Freyd had to reduce the size of his charge.  The height and bodyweight difference between them would end up tossing him to the far side of the harbour, if he'd matched Oscar's.  

Once everything was set, he gave Oscar a knowing nod and climbed in. 

"Three... two... one..."

[Oscar 0]

"Gives new meaning to the word fast food," Oscar said in response to Freyd's seagull comments. The real issue was running into any flying whales. Oscar was certain that Aincrad had them. Just as certain as he had been about Spider Pockets. He didn't have much time to consider the option of running into an airborne whale before the gunpowder inside the cannon was ignited and he was sent screaming through the air at impossible speeds. The ocean below was just a deep blue blur as he rocketed from the cove back towards the docks. All too quickly, the town came into view. Oscar's aim had been true. A little too true, actually. He found himself on a collision course for the quest NPC that was still waiting on the edge of the docks for his ship. Oscar contorted himself in the air, hoping to slow himself down to not slam smack into the poor fellow. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. Oscar came to a sudden stop when his entire body came into contact with the NPC. A purple <<IMMORTAL OBJECT>> tag popped up as Oscar collapsed to the ground in a heap. He shook the stars from his eyes and tossed the half-burnt hunk of wood towards the captain. "Here's your ship. Pirates won't be bothering you anymore." Apparently, that technically completed the quest. Oscar was assaulted with a blast of confetti and an off-key honk of a kazoo. Conglaturation, the window before him said. "This quest is drugs."

[Freyd 0]

Freyd was thoroughly enjoying himself by analyzing the unusual sensory input of sailing through the air at breakneck speeds.  His body was facing upward, providing him with a splendid view of the azure sky above.  Extending his arms to either side, he executed an awkward barrel roll.  The hawkish features of his mask actually suited the scene, as absurd as it seemed.  Where Oscar's trajectory yeeted him into the quest giver, Freyd had a slightly different misadventure.  Several larger sailing vessels had arrived in port since their departure and he found himself heading directly into the mass of rigging just below the crow's nest of one of their taller masts.  Unable to alter course, Freyd crashed through the series of ropes and became just entangled enough to get spun around as if caught in some kind of huge centrifuge.  A flash of silver set him free, and also catapulted him right over Oscar's head and into a large pile of stacked crates of molasses and tobacco.  Goo flew everywhere as the entire stockpile exploded.

A moment later, Freyd sat upright, covered in the sticky syrup and covered in dried leaves that made him look like some kind of exploded cigar.  He was still laughing like a nut job.

"We need to do that again."

****

Thread Summary:

Oscar receives:

• 5 SP (1 page, +1 event, +3 quest)
• 10,700 Col
• Pirate's Treasure (Unique Consumable): A lucky coin that will give the user +2 Prosperity, for the duration of a thread. One time use!

Freyd receives:

• 2 SP (1 page, +1 event) - previously completed this quest
• 200 SP