[F6-PP] Peace and Quiet (Mari)

[Raidou 1]

A flip of the page, a subtle shift from right to left. Upon the waters that list weakly in small ripples creating white noise as they plunge into the surface of clear blue. Soft wind takes the skies, a simple and clean divide pulling the heat from ones neck. Another turn of a page, a small book in the hands of a man who was at his wits end. The smell of honey in sweet mixed with an arid moisture like funk in a strange concoction parades throughout without a direction. A twist of his wrist places a pair of dangling lenses further up the bridge of his nose, correcting them as they slide.

Above in bright blue, a gentle sun that broke through most of the coverage. Dotting that same horizon were a few puffs in vapor white in color, the rainfall was still far off but would not reach these succumbed ripples. In the nomads hands was this worlds best attempts at scribing, eager to break himself from his own habits. For too long he had been pushing himself forward at a terrifying rate, attempting to break the bounds that held him back. To twist himself into the divider that kept others from meeting an untimely fate. But once those numbers no longer grew and he looked back at the path he scorched through the bulk of Aincrad, he saw in his actions he overlooked true strength.

A subtle sip of tea as he continued to struggle with the fact, green tea to which was an old favorite. He was learning who he was before he became an ideal more than a man. Somewhere down that torn line through history he had forgotten himself, who he was originally. A million small lessons that all added up to one big puzzle he could not see clearly. There was nowhere left to go, no number to increase and what always needed his assistance had finally.

Finally.

Did not.

Raidou | HP:1790/1790 | EN:176/176 | DMG:19 | MIT:121 | EVA:4 | ACC:4 | BH:89

Spoiler

Raidou, The Red Wanderer
Level: 88
HP: 1790/1790
EN: 176/176

Stats:
Damage: 19
Mitigation: 121
Evasion: 4
Accuracy: 4
BH:89

Equipped Gear:
Weapon: Auric Sol - Corona [T3/Perfect/2HSS]: Damage 3
Armor: Red Wanderer's Robe [T1/Perfect/L.A] +3 Evasion
Misc: Tactician's Gaze - Ogma [T1/Perfect/Trinket]: +3 Accuracy

Skills:
Gatherer [Obtained]
Two Handed Straight Sword [Rank 5]
Extended Mod Limit R3 [Obtained]
Parry [Obtained]
Howl [Obtained]
Battle Healing [Rank 5]
Fighting Spirit [Obtained]
Light Armor [Rank 5]
Searching [Rank 5]
Charge [Rank 5]
Extended Weight Limit [Obtained]

Extra Skills:
Concentration
Familiar Mastery: Protector
Survival

Active Mods:
Finesse Rank 3
Athletics
Sprint and Acrobatics
Detect
Tracking
Ferocity
Bull Rush
Justified Riposte

Inactive Mods:
Vengeful Riposte
Focused Howl
Emergency Recovery
Reveal
Stamina
Precision

Battle Ready Inventory:
Teleport Crystal*1
Pillar Fragment [Unique/Nightvision Mod]
Eternal Watch - Tenacity [T3/Perfect/Trinket]: Recovery 2, Accuracy 1
Mass Heal Crystal*5
Incarceration [T1/Perfect/Debuff Song] Double DoT*2
Hypnosis 2 [T1/Rare/Debuff Song/Instant] -2 Accuracy*3
Ebon Star - Vanguard Revenant [T2/Perfect/2HSS]: V.O 2, Taunt
Eye of Midas - Larceny [T1/Perfect/Trinket]: +3 Prosperity
Obtained via Item Stash (Housing)
Obtained via Dimensional Backpack

Housing Buffs:
Hard Working: +2 EXP per crafting attempt and +1 crafting attempt per day
Filling: Increase the effectiveness of a single food item consumed in a thread by +1 T1 slot.
Relaxed: Increases out of combat HP regen by (5 * Tier HP) and decreases full energy regen to 2 Out of Combat Posts.
Col Stash: +5% bonus col from monster kills and treasure chests
Advanced Training: +2 SP to a thread. Limit one use per month [0/1]

Guild Hall Buffs:
Lucrative: Reduce LD needed for Salvage by 5 (10+ for Alchemist crystals, 6+ for everything else). +2 EXP per craft. Rank 9 crafters receive +1 crafting attempt per day. Rank 10 crafters receive +2 crafting attempts per day.
Col Deposit: +5% bonus col from last-hit monster kills and +10% bonus col from treasure chests.

Scents of the Wild:
Tanos Statue: +15 Mitigation for a thread.

 

[Mari 1]

Mari wasn't normally the best with directions but this...was ridiculous. Maybe it was because she felt so tired. Had gone through so much. "Dammit..." She cursed with an exhale, placing a hand gently upon her throbbing head.  Mari knew she was pushing herself too much. Too long. It was a kind of weariness that wasn't just physical. A tired body and strained emotions. Heavy mental exhaustion. It made each step she took feel as though Mari carried the world upon her shoulders. Still, each foot fell in front of the other in a off beat rhythm. Mari was climbing the mountainside, and soon she'd be at its peak. She'd be able to ascertain her surroundings then. One more floor.

One more battle.

One more day.

She had to. Mari had to keep pushing herself, she had to keep moving because if she stopped...then everything would catch up to her. If Mari stopped she was afraid of what would happen. Afraid of herself, her sorrow. The deep depths that constantly felt like they were drowning her. The betrayals. The expectations. The constant ebb and flow of the needs and desires around her. Everyone so busy and so wrapped in their own lives. In the fight to escape this hell. A place Mari never expected, nor deserved to leave.

The orange haired woman was so close to the peak. She could hear a running waterfall nearby. Maybe, once she got her bearings - it'd be nice to rinse off there. Wash her face off. It'd be easier if she used the towns gates, to teleport. She'd already broken her oath once so what was the point in keeping it? Visions blurred and Mari's eyes narrowed. "UGh..." She rubbed her eyes, that seemed to fix it. 

ANother step forward, and she was upon the precipice of the mountain. Clouds broke way to reveal lush carpets of green below. Forests, jungles, rivers. Dizzying shades of emerald danced in front of her - no...wait... "H-Help..."

why was the world spinning? Vertigo swung Mari to and fro -  threatening to cast her off the edge and to her death. Breaths came in quick succession as it felt like she was being constricted from the inside out. Flourishes of flora span faster and faster till they gave way - and Mari had fallen, into a small unassuming heap upon the grassy knoll. Her world blackened. A single arm and hand daintily hanging over the edge that she so barely missed careening off.

 

 

@Raidou

Edited December 12, 2020 by Mari

[Raidou 1]

Twisting a single page rather loosely, the context of the book had taken a sour turn into mediocracy. As expected for a self produced author trapped within the confines of a digital simulation, it slid into honest cliché. Here was a story about love, loss, and moving on. It spoke of a man named Kohru, and his dear beloved Umiko. But it went into some undertone of borderline hentai, that jumps into a strange world of betrayal.

"What a waste." Raidou remarks folding it up, the first half of the book was much better. Placed to his side as he takes another quaff his rediscovered enjoyment, a solid thud causes him to stir with a raised eyebrow. A mutter from a feminine voice caught only briefly and barely through the white noise. Leaving 'Ko-ko pt. 2 electric boogaloo' where it threatened to burn a hole through the grass it sat in with its abysmal writing. The nomad rose and sought it out, pressing through the trees toward the peak.

It hit him like a ton of bricks, completely stupified given it was not who he expected to find at all. "of all people." he quipped with a soft sigh, the thoughts of how awkward their exchanges had been. Was she taking a nap? Mosing over and coughing softly as to not startle her. She didn't stir and moreover, she pressed a bit too close to the edge. "Mari?" Raidou spoke a bit louder but again no response. With a bit of an inhale he moves closer cautiously, trying to respect her boundaries as he takes his glasses off as an instinct. He'd like to give her the benefit but could not afford to risk any more pairs of them.

"Mari" he says expecting something, anything when it strikes him further. She was out for the count.

His discretion turns to genuine concern, mustering what he had to push the thought of pissing her off again at bay. "Please don't take this the wrong way." Raidou whispers latching for her wrist and peeling her from the edge. She was lighter than he expected, and he drags her away from the peak. The least she could do if she wanted to pass out was do it somewhere she wouldn't yeet herself into oblivion. Removing his robe and folding it up with a shake of his head, charading 'no'

Pumping it up like a pillow he tucks it under her neck, leaving her in the shade and letting her just play out her thing.

He'd let her rest

[Mari 1]

Exhaustion.

It had finally taken over. For far too long Mari had pushed 'Mari' aside, too busy with everyone else, everything else. It was bound to happen at some point. They say that sleep, and food aren't exactly required in Aincrad to survive. But without them, the threat of passing out was all too real. That's what happened with Mari.

A dangerous crystal stained with blood and sin danced above her head. A warning, and a target. It was a stark contrast to the girl beneath. Tired and worn, her eyes marred by days, weeks, months of restlessness. Ginger hair a tousled and un-brushed mess. Small lips showing signs of cracking. Her small rising and falling slowly in a steady rhythm. If anyone wanted to dispose of her, now would be the right time. She looked helpless and weak. None would be the wiser - the only trace of her would be another name on the monument- and wouldn't that be a just end for her?

Somewhere between Raidou picking her up and carrying her to a safe place, under the shade of a tree - her body had latched onto his. Even as he had tried to sit her down and shift away from her, tiny trembling hands had held fast to a coat of red. A forehead, creased with unspoken worry and concern pressed into the side of his leg, and little more than a whimper, a murmur that begged to not be left alone fell from trembling lips.

@Raidou

[Raidou 1]

A restless sleep as she began to have terrors and shift rather aggressively back and forth, Raidou was at a complete loss. Against the soft trickled anthem of the falls, where one were to find a sense of peace it was beyond difficult to divide himself from confusion. That moniker she held as a reminder of the past still clung to her head, a target as many before her wore the very same. Raidou had consumed leagues of them and here where she was most vulnerable he could do the same.

But he couldn't

There was a difference, something that set Mari and Hidden against the rest. He had sensed the very same from Pinball, a willingness to make amends and change. She looked beaten to hell, that brand had taken everything from her. A slide and pick up of the small very pitiful novel, the goal to watch over her without disturbing her. While lost in his own thoughts doing his best to just divide himself from the girl that fell into his lap.

Into his lap?

A shiver rolls his spine as she latches on to him, his comfort scatters to the wind. "y-You can't do this." he mutters softly trying to pry her loose to no avail, despite everything he couldn't push her off. It wasn't within his nature to leave her be. You are supposed to be strong, so I don't need to worry about you. he shifts a bit trying to build that distance and respect her boundaries. She doesn't let him go.

Within the robe she suctions cupped to he sits now cradling her like a child, he sighs softly and reaches for his tea. How did he end up here? This little flame that quivered on the wind, made it impossible to break from the realities of this world. It also made it damn impossible to be comfortable or reach the cup. Reaching for a stick and attempting to roll the just out of reach carrier it limps loosely around beneath his extended arm. A hang of his head as he gives up after minutes begin to rack up.

Looking down at her frame, she was smaller than what he expected. Perspectives had a way of being obscured by one's actions. Here was a woman who chose to take on the world, alone and against everything stacked against her. Here, however, she looked helpless because she was. In that isolation she had only worked to the benefit of others, a principle Raidou understood. "You make me want to defend you when your words don't want me to. I can't do what I want to do when it comes to you. You can't need me like this, what am I supposed to do?" Raidou whispers as he picks a couple of tiny grubs and leaves from her hair and flicks them away before looking toward the water as it drops.

[Mari 1]

Time passed. It could have been hours, minutes. A day. The passing was ever continuous like the trickle of the water around them - like the cool breeze that kissed their cheeks and carried strands of hair to dance gently in the wind. 

"Nnng..." The touch of another stirred Mari, small and timid fingers had traced their way through her tangled locks, prying and picking derbris from it. Caring in a way Mari long forgot how to. No one cared for Mari like that. No one would gently push her hair out of her face. It was Mari who did these things for others. 

 So when she felt that gentle touch, and the lingering warmth of another she had thought it was nothing more than a cruel dream. Passing her by, just like time. Just like the trickling waters.

But the soft mumble of Raidou's voice stirred her further. Low, confused, distressed. Yet spoken in a calm rythm. 

Tired eyes opened slowly to a need of blurry red. The faint smell of tea coupled with something else...

"S-dream..." Mari mumbled as she turned her head back into the warmth. Inhaling. Floral. Musky. Like someone had a secret garden hidden deep within a cave. Oddly pleasant.

It had to be a dream. 

[Raidou 1]

Hours burn by in a slog as his menu floods with messages from the guild, operating without his input. Timers to the side of his HUD with everything he had planned to do today whisk by in an instant. A storm brews as typical of the floor, pushing a light breeze upon the place as it stirred below them causing the rest of the floor to vanish. Pushing carefully Raidou slips the side that opposes Mari off his shoulder. "I have to agree with you." he quips as he slings the cloth in red over her to blanket her from the cold. "This is clearly a dream, but just in case it's not."

It's all a dream, isn't it?

Nervous beyond belief for whatever came after, he made a choice. The decision to stay and see this through and guard her until she inevitably burned him for getting too close. That was the nature of this flame, but Raidou could hardly snuff it out and move on. Not after the light it had brought, and it was not herself that made her the flame no. It was fickle fates that forced themselves upon her like a crook. Taking away her ability to coupe.

"Clearly that is what you want now, and it's not as if I am going anywhere." The wanderer muttered ushering open his menu. Scrolling through with a shift of his left while the other nurses Mari and keeps her beneath his robe. He finds what he was after: A Journey through ages. A book is written well enough to find a shelf, transcribed by a would-be author here and it was his favorite so far. It flashes softly into his outstretched hand, and with a twist of his fingers, its ushered open to the first page.

Until you wake, allow me to ease your burden

As a material to continue to speak, he began to read allowed in the same tone he held. A reason to keep giving Mari what she seemed to need, an excuse in case he needed to talk his way out of this. But he'd do it despite being reluctant. If he didn't who else did she have that would stumble upon her here. His thoughts turned to Shield and Baldur as he read from the page, but perhaps it wasn't fair to expose her this way. It would be their secret.

[Mari 1]

"We always trust that the time is linear. We think that it is progressing forever the same shape, until eternity. However, the difference between past, present and future are nothing but an illu-sion. Yesterday, today and tomorrow don't come after each other. They are connected to each other in an infinite loop..."

 

His voice drummed on like the beat of a heart. Lulling her. Tired and weary Mari had almost thought this still a dream.  It was too nice, too peaceful, and comforting to be real. So Mari wanted to cling to this dream as long as possible, a hand reached out and found another, resting gently atop his as she subconsciously clung to any form of human interaction. If it were not for the chill that began to set in, and the pains of an uncomfortable resting position. Sore shoulders, a dull throb in her head. Mari groaned as she lifted hers, her neck creaking and cracking in protest. "Where..." She lifted her hand to rub her eyes, they burned. Begging for more rest but that was something she couldn't provide herself. 

"Right...." She was working her way to the higher floors again. But...

Mari still sat with her body pressed against Raidou's side as her mind struggled to piece together what happened. She had climbed up high to gain a better bearing on her surroundings then...

shit.

She had passed out hadn't she? Mari straightened her back, sitting up and away from the other. Raidou's signature red cloak fell down from her shoulders and it was only then that she had become painfully aware of the Raidou sitting so close to her. "B-h-huh!?" Exhaustion gave way to a weary off kilter sense of alert as Mari moved to shift away from him, only to trap herself within the folds of his coat. Tripping and falling backward, sprawled amongst the soft grass.

"W-what are you doing here?" 

The question wasn't one of bile, wasn't barked in defence. It was confusion. Genuine confusion tinted with hints of embarrassment and fear. Why him? Why here? Why here?

Coincidence could be a thing, but wasn't this too convenient?

Then again...what exactly was convenient about this encounter?

[Raidou 1]

Through the twists and bends of the binds that make one's reality, it's easy for one to feel utterly trapped. The difficulty lies not in the strength of the chains, but in the complacency that comes afterward.

As he read through the rings, reciting the words that had already been taken in. It shattered in a moment as something within her neck pops and the words stop. An end to the soft and subtle phrasing pouring out of his face. Folding the book as she fumbles about and flails about like a fish out of water, trapped in the net that was his robe. "I was reading when you so gracefully tried to roll off the cliff." Raidou answered honestly as he scoots a few inches away from her.

Expecting a backlash but what happens is a look of confusion with a lack of ire. "Pardon, I know you do not need my help. But in all fairness, I was here first." he jokes in a way that hardly was his own. A trick of the mind, he was using another's method to keep himself from being himself. Trying to distance himself from premeditating every word and just let everything flow as its thought. "Your welcome to stay, I've cleared my schedule given I missed half of what I planned to do today." shifting the pages over in his clutches as he pretends to read, nervously attempting to remain cool-headed.

Leaning forward he finally was able to reach the carafe that housed his liquid delights, and a few slow twists uncork it. God knew he needed the distraction and the excuse to not look at Mari directly, as she flopped around in the net amongst the emerald green grass. Defensive but not outwardly, Raidou kept himself at arm's length. Mari was a strong woman who didn't need his assistance, wasn't she? A tap of his forehead with the open container a couple of times he tries to right himself. "You are more than welcome, to listen to the story." he comments with an intense stare at the jar as it sloshed around, just as embarrassed as she was.

Begining to pour what it held into the one cup it had, the one that also served as a cap. A soft sip of what was now lukewarm, it was slightly more bitter. It suited the situation it was left in, as his attentions shift to the swelling storm below. It was intentional that he was avoiding looking at her at all, happenstance alone had brought her here. Raidou didn't want to intrude on her affairs. But how could he not act, when she was so close to the edge of that cliff.

[Mari 1]

"Roll off the..." Mari's eyes shifted from Raidou toward the cliff. "Yeh...right...ahah...hah, like I'd ever do that." But she would do that. Even now, a big part of her longed for that reprieve. To easily just disappear off the cliff. what would have happened if she did pass out and fall? wouldn't that have been for the best? She wouldn't even be conscious of the decision. Mari was very aware of Raidou right now, because he had been so close. So she was aware of him shifting away from her. Probably for the best. Mari shut her eyes.

Her heart was pounding. Embarrassment? yeh. Probably. Her hand fell to the grass. A faint memory of warmth flashed across her mind, and Mari had to clear her throat. No wonder he had moved away from her. "Yeh. Sorry about that." 

"Pardon, I know you do not need my help. But in all fairness, I was here first."

Mari stilled. What was that? A subtle way to tell her to fuck off? Mari turned away from him. Usually his quips would be met with some of her own, a spitfire response to his quiet and reserved words. She cleared her throat and made to stand, her legs felt wobbly - and the world was still a dizzying blur. "I get the hint, I'll leave y-"

An offer to stay, along with vertigo caused Mari to fall back down to the ground. Shit. Mari felt like she wasn't wanted here. She audibly groaned as she allowed herself to nestle back amongst the grass. It tickled her legs. "That was my fault, huh?" Her words were tired, and didn't hold any of the venom they normally did. They didn't hold the haughty confidence that she had. They were...weary. "Sorry..."

Mari watched as Raidou's eyes shifted back to his book - Mari got the impression he was on purposefully trying not to look at her. She couldn't blame him, she probably looked like a wreck. The longer she sat and watched, the more aware she was of how her presence affected him. A silence hung between them, and it made Mari a little uncomfortable - despite her distaste for smalltalk. This felt...different.

He doesn't want me here.

She was tired...so tired. But it was unfair of her to intrude on him. He was here first. "Sorry." Mari said again as she sighed, and ran a hand through her hair to push it back out of her eyes. "You're clearly doing your...thing. I don't want to ruin it." Mari pushed herself back to her feet, a little wobbly - and it took her a moment to gather her balance. "Thanks, though." 

Mari turned to leave.

@Raidou

[Raidou 1]

A subtle sigh feeling as though he may have made himself unclear. "Mari your just as welcome here as I am." he offered firmly as he twisted open his menu, removing a single empty bottle and adding a bit of his tea to it as a makeshift cup. "And you were inches from rolling right off." he attempted his best at a joke, a weak smile that quickly fades from his face. "I am sorry I am so miserable at this, I don't want to overstep your personal space." he quipped as the green liquid comes to a stop.

Ushering it toward her, he coughs softly.

"But it was no bother, and don't let the realization fool you. I let you sleep where you chose to be. It's so difficult for me to understand what..." The words fall off with a serene twist to his face, he looks down toward the drink in his hand before shoving it into hers. "Once upon a time, you allowed me to be selfish. I think it's time you did so yourself. This isn't me offering you help. It's you taking it from me, no strings attached. You need a break then take it. I will give you my time, so stay for me."

He looks to the steaming pile of book that lingered in the grass and he smiles "And to be perfectly honest, you weren't interrupting anything. If anything you were saving me from reading any more of that awful story." Looking to her shoulders with a robe still wrapped around a weakened frame that struggled to twist and pull away, Raidou swallows his troubled and wavering motivations. Reaching out and latching onto her gently he returns to her side and flips the book back open. His face was on fire, he didn't know what the hell it was he was doing. No thoughts beforehand just actions. "You've got quite the interesting things floating around in that hair of yours." The nomad smiles earnestly before he begins to read again, he was in fact miserable at this. The question was would he be able to make her understand as he blathered on like an idiot, just as embarrassed as she was.

They were both idiots.

[Mari 1]

"And you were inches from rolling right off."

So what?

"So what?"
Her words came out sharp and cold, a snap of ice that she layered over herself. So what if she had fallen? So what if she just blipped out of existence? It'd make many people happy. "If I had, there'd probably be a party in the town of beginnings." Mari added, a sense of mirth returning to her tone. Covering things with a sick, dry, and twisted humour. He coughed and Mari turned around to face him again. He was reaching out, right? Or did he feel guilty?
 

"No...." Mari sighed, defeated. She was too tired to be ornery. "You're fine. If anything I encroached on yours...i...think?" Mari wasn't sure how much of that warmth was a dream, and how much of it had been him. If Raidou had put up with all of that...then maybe he wasn't all that bad.

Mari took a step toward Raidou. "It was exhaustion, nothing more. I don't...get to rest much." there was a pause as she had to catch the cup that was thrust into her hand. Mari hesitated before taking a step back - to give them both space and sat down. "I don't really think I allowed you to do anything. I slapped you. Hard."

She hesitated. Selfish...Mari couldn't afford that. Besides, was it really selfish if he was insisting upon it? Why? Why was he trying? mari opened her mouth to question it but paused when he commented on her hair - a hand went to brush through her tangled mess. 'w-what? what's in my hair?"

@Raidou

 

[Raidou 1]

He'd pause his reading, giving an honest go at this whole: conversation thing. A man of few words struggled to make them last more than a few simple phrases, or less a giant drolling monologue of regurgitated poetry. "I doubt that you would catch me celebrating. I doubt Hidden or Yuki would, and I struggle to think that your guild wouldn't mourn you either." Raidou's face turns straight placid, a bit of solidarity in his tone. "Fuck the rest of them, anyone who would be ok with you passing is a mistake." somewhere he'd gained a fire of his own, he had Freyd to thank for that.

Raidou's demeanor shifts as he twists to his own glass, sitting shoulder to shoulder with the same woman. But they were hardly the same person were they? It was but months but it felt like ages. He chooses to take things into a bit of a lighter territory. "Nothing to worry about, I don't really have personal space. Although I'd be lying if you suddenly latching to me didn't make me almost jump out of my skin. I was a bit worried about how you'd take it when you got up." he remarked looking heavily at the little thermos-like container with now almost bone-cold liquid inside.

"To be fair, neither do I but I am trying." he mutters with his own matching pair of rings, nightmares claimed a fair portion of his resting hours. Either that or filling the vault, grinding away, or what have you. It was nice that the guild was starting to become independent enough he need not intervene, although it was making him less necessary. He'd look to Mari rather blatantly in regards to her wiping the color from his face all that time ago. His face contorts into a smile before he busts out laughing. "Yeah, that's right. You decked me one good."

He rubs the rims of the cup with his thumbs, his glasses still missing from his face and tucked away as he pretended not to remember.

"Just some leaves, and a bug or two." he quips keeping his attentions pressed to the cup as he starts to understand a bit more about her. "No matter how hard you are to get along with, I am glad you're still here Mari."

[Mari 1]

Mari scoffed. "I don't know about that. Yuki isn't too fond of me. Hell, I haven't heard narry a peep from her since she shaked up with Crozeph." She averted her eyes, as they focused on the ground. "Hell. I haven't really heard from him either." Wasn't she supposed to be his guild leader? Crozeph had often come to Mari for aid, food, and a place to sleep. They'd talk - and Mari liked those conversations. But it seemed the moment someone else provided those needs for him she was cast aside. Mari guessed that their meetings weren't based on friendship. That suited her just fine. She was used to it.

Mari knew some people in her guild would mourn for her; maybe not mourn but be disappointed at the very least. "I really don't need to hear this.' Mari muttered as she covered her face with her hand. "I'm so sick of placating lies. Lets just drop the act. You and I both know more people would be satisfied with my head on a pike than anything else."

"Fuck the rest of them, anyone who would be ok with you passing is a mistake." s

Mari blinked, lowering her hand at the sudden outburst. "Pfft -Hah." She couldn't contain the exclamation. It was just so...unexpected to hear Raidou swear. He usually seemed so...docile. It felt like you could take the glasses from his head, and crush them in the palm of your hand and he'd do nothing more than sigh and pull another pair out of his pocket. Her mirthless laugh stilled when she felt him move closer again- enough so that their shoulders touched. Why? to placate her? To make sure she didn't go rolling off the edge of Aincrad?

"Well - it's not like you tried anything." Mari said quietly as she bought her knees to her chest. Resting her chin in them. "At least, I don't think you did." She added with a snort as she eyed him sideward. Always joking. Lay it on thick. It was easier that way. 

Mari shifted her gaze to the cup that she had idly sitting in her hands. It was cold. With a grimace Mari let the cup drop to the floor, its unwanted contents spilling deep into the lush ground beneath her.

 "No matter how hard you are to get along with, I am glad you're still here Mari."

 "That makes one of us, Raidou."

 

@Raidou

[Raidou 1]

Flustered still but a real attempt to remain calm, trying to keep himself where he was comfortable. This was entirely new territory for him, when was the last time he'd had just a simple conversation like this? "I don't believe that." he shared his optimism with her, placing down the miserable brew and deciding it was awful despite trying to enjoy it. As Mari comments about the possibility of him being a letcher while she slept.

He becomes even more worried. "N-no.. no...no." It was as if he was testing different vocal ranges like in a musical choir. One sharp cough he finishes with "No, I wouldn't do that to someone." to her playful snort, he was glad she was kidding. It looked bad no matter how you chose to see it, and in hindsight, he knew he was pegged. She drops the cup he gave her, and he couldn't blame her. But it was that disgust and that irked him.

"Why, why does it always end this way?" Raidou asked her with a bit of his red film building on his shoulders, his anger growing. Gritting his teeth and looking at her with that red pooling in his gaze, it is clear he was mad. The cardinal made it easy. "Why am I not allowed to give a crap about you? Is it so hard to believe that someone gives a shit about what happens to you? Can't you see I am trying to make things right? Here I thought you were strong enough that you don't need anyone. But every time it boils down into petty twists of what is actually going on around you. I don't need a reason to care and if it's just me then so be it."

Visibly fuming looking at her plain as day, the embarrassment washed clean and in its absence the most strange fury ever.

"I am no longer taking no for an answer, you are accepting this friendship. You want to die, then I go first. You want to jump off a cliff, then you better be ready for me to drag you kicking and screaming back on solid ground. You make it impossible to respect your boundaries, to expect you to succeed. Mari, you refuse to see what you have. I tried to give you your distance, allowing you to make your choices."

A twisting liquid in black holds heavy against his chest, picking up on his swelling heart rate made visible on lines on his neck like veins.

"I thought you were strong enough to do this on your own, that you would make it through this alone. I can see that I was mistaken. You're weaker than most, frail and negative. Everyone must want something from you, want you to make them feel better? Why? Why you? Is it just by chance that Crozeph chose you, that Baldur and Shield chose you!? You are blinded by that damn marker over your head so harshly you cant see what's right in front of you."

Leaning closer to her and picking one more twig out of the rat's nest on her head and presenting it to her.

"You're a mess, and I didn't read you to sleep so someone could see me doing it. I didn't do it because I wanted to feel better about myself. I did it because you were enjoying it, thats it. That's the end of the reasons. There's nothing else at play. Full stop."

Now inches from her face, looking at her with fighting spirit triggered painting his iris red in the faint light. A glare as he loomed. "Even if it's true, that I am the only damn one that cares. Then so be it. I accept it. You want to be helpless, then be helpless. I've taken swords to the back for less than half the heart you have, so it will be worth every point."

[Mari 1]

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Mari said with a small bemused smile - her fatigue threatening to pull the corners of her mouth back down again. "I know...I know you're not that kind of person." Mari reached out, a cautious hand landed on the small of his back. "Because its you, It's why I know." Mari let her hand linger there for a count of three seconds before removing it. "you know, we've met before."

It had taken her a while to recall him, but lately - all Mari had were her own thoughts, and they kept travelling back down to the past. "Years ago - during the fifth floor. It was that quest with the sand shark." Mari rested her chin in her knees - eyes focusing on a small ladybug climbing a blade of grass.  "I...was so rude to you. I think I might have called you a hotdog or somethin' I don't entirely remember..." Her voice fell quiet, reminiscent. "Yet - even back then. Even with how I was - you were quiet, and patient. You know, if I had remembered you back on the frozen lake I might not have hit you so hard." She had tried to joke, but the jovial tone didn't reach her voice. Instead it just sounded...sad. Lost. It made the intent of her words fall flat. 

"Why, why does it always end this way?" 

Mari unfurled herself, hands landing back in the grass as she turned her head toward him, inquisitive. "I'm sorry, what?" Mari had been fairly amicable, right? She'd been nice this time...right? So what was his problem?

His tirade bore down on her. He questioned why he wasn't allowed to give a crap about her, telling her he was trying to make things right. Why can't you see that?  Mari balled her fists, tearing handfuls of grass from the ground. She was trying...but no matter what it wasn't ever good enough was it? Her jaw clenched. 

Here I thought you were strong enough that you don't need anyone-"

"That's what everyone thinks..." Came the whisper. Mari wanted to scream. She wanted to shout at him. Tell him that everyone saw her as some strong beacon, a leader to follow. but she wasn't. Mari wanted to cry. she wanted to tell him that she was lonely. So terribly lonely. And that she did need someone. She needed her  friends, but she was so terribly afraid of betrayal that she kept pushing them all away. Mari knew it. Freyd had pointed it out to her. Now Raidou was doing the same.

You're weaker than most, frail and negative...."

As Raidou pulled away, discarding the twig in her hair Mari took this as a chance to stand up. "You're right. You didn't have to do those things. I am weak." why did it hurt so much? Her voice trembled. Is this what happened when she tried to open up to others? Mari forced her eyes shut, they burned with the threat of tears but Mari told herself she wouldn't cry here. Not now. Not ever. I'm weak but I won't be anymore.  She could always go back to how she was. It'd hurt less.

"Sorry to disappoint you." Mari said as she opened up her inventory, pulling out a hot thermos of tea. Mari leaned down and shoved it unceremoniously into his chest. "This is a milky, sweet - earl grey. Hot. Thanks for savin' me." 

CrONCH

Leave.

Mari had to leave now right? 

She straightened and exhaled slowly. Plastering that same smile on her face as she always had. "Don't worry, next time. I'll be the same Mari as before. I may even go for your glasses again." She added, a joke - unknowing that she had just technically done that. "It'll be the same as before. But with a lil' less slappin." She turned to leave, quickening her pace so as to not allow him to latch onto her or yell at her again.

This was fine, right?

This is fine. This is fine. This is fine.
 

Mari's feet stopped as they hit a rushing river. Right...the waterfall. 
Hic.

That's why her face was wet.....right?
 

@Raidou

Edited December 14, 2020 by Mari

[Raidou 1]

As the small container is thrust into his chest, where he was again in the same reflection of the past. He had thought he had changed, he thought that he could finally get through to her. Raidou had spent all this time learning, changing, and bettering himself. But this small bottle of hers stuck in his grasp, was proof that he was still a confused child. "You know I never forgot you. I was scratching the frontlines back then, the same I am now." the hatred fades rather quickly as it was a baring, the faint memory of the sands and the shark within them still ripe as the day they met. He was still getting his feet wet, both in combat and out, and as it turned out she finally remembered it.

He twists the bottle and stands, that crimson robe left where she had taken it off her shoulders laying loosely in the soil and held the remnants of her warmth. Flicking the broken pair of lenses to his side, they lump limply into the brush with a small shake. "You only are honest with me when your angry, you only hear what I am saying when you're angry. I don't have to do anything, do I?" He quips as he moves to her side and looks off into the streaming pool, allowing her vent without him pressing to close.

"Your not a disappointment, and your still only hearing half of what I have to say. I think I am finally understanding you just a bit better. It's a shame that this is the only way I can ever talk to you." Placing down the container she'd given him "I am not accepting this. You don't owe me anything, I did it as a friend. You don't want me to pretend but your lying right to my face in the same breath. Pretending your ok with that smile." A sour lump in his throat causes his voice to catch, as he slumps back down where he was sat. Defeated a bit from the exchange, it was more than he ever expressed and it was draining. "I wish you could see that I just want what's best for you. The very same way I did back then."

"If you like it or not we are in this together, and I know that cursor means something to you. I know the quest exists to have it removed. Repentance." he reaches for the book at his side and lifts it in front of him. "But you don't think you deserve it, why else would you tell me that you wished you were dead." he flips a single page over as a single leaf floats aloft by. "I can't stand the thought of you just being ok with dying like it's meant to happen." he shifts but one more page pretending to read. "As it turns out it was exactly what I was imposing on others who knew my own secrets. So don't be surprised when I take a bullet for you."

He couldn't care less if she could actually hear him, to Raidou it was no different if she was right beside him or on another floor. 

[Mari 1]

Tears.

Goddammit they were tears.

Mari quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand.. Freyd would have probably chastised her, told her they were important, and even more so - to share them with others. But Mari wasn't strong enough for that yet. Everyone expected so much of her, expected her to be strong. Expected her to listen. You should do this, why aren't you doing this? You're not doing that? 

Expectation after expectation. No matter what she did, she was doing it wrong. "UGh-" Mari kicked at the side of the river, then had to quickly adjust her balance to avoid falling in. 

"Am I?" Mari asked, her voice shaken. Mari had expected his, she expected him to follow, realistically. She didn't want the conversation to end there, not like this. But...she needed that moment. Something else to take her aggression out on, lest his glasses suffer again.  A deep breath. Hold. Exhale. 

"I'm...trying not to be angry with everything...with everyone."  Mari sighed. "It feels like it's not good enough." Mari glanced down at the container that Raidou had placed between the two of them. She sighed as she shifted to sit, pulling off her boots so her feet could dangle in the water. "I'm so used to pretending to be okay." Mari said quietly as she reached out to the small thermos, popping off the lid to pour the sweet milky liquid into it. Steam rose from makeshift up as Mari rose it to her lips, taking a long sip from it before handing it to Raidou.

Mari held the tea in her mouth for a moment before swallowing, allowing it's warmth to travel down her throat and settle comfortably in her stomach. It made her feel a little better. "It's....hard." Mari admitted. "I'm used to people betraying me, best friends...people who I thought loved me - guild members. I've been pushing myself so hard lately despite all that. And...I guess its working...heh..." She looked up at the river, allowing her legs to move back and forth. This place was nice. Mari hesitated. Was it right to be talking like this? Raidou was another guild leader. His own, he had his own burdens and expectations. "But now, everyone expects too much of me. The few times I had tried to open up - I was essentially told to suck it up. Deal with it, and that the guild - and the people who wanted to leave this place were more important." Mari closed her eyes and leaned back on her hands. "To be constantly told you aren't that important, that the greater sum of the others is - its...degrading."

Raidou mentioned her cursor. Mari shook her head. "I don't care what colour it is. Fact of the matter is I took lives. Familes won't ever be reunited again. Mothers have lost their sons and daughters. Brothers have lost brothers. And for what? Some hissy fit from a lonely woman who thought she was helping others? where are the people I saved those days? Gone. In their stead I'm nothing to this world but a cold blooded murderer. And - in a sick and twisted way, its true - isn't it?" 

@Raidou

[Raidou 1]

A listed wind, a soft breeze that played upon the peak from the storm below as it trickled off. It was burning out the last of its wick. Raidou had taken a seat, and to his surprise with a thunk off came Mari's boots. His held breath drains out slowly as he replies, the expected explosion between them fizzled out. "Even I was doing it, I was convinced that you didn't want my help because you were determined to do it on your own. I thought you were alright, but somewhere I got the sense that you were not. Writers find method in their pain, composers find the notes in theirs. I am sorry for not seeing it, I feel like I abandoned you when you needed support."

Her feet enter that calming pool, causing ripples to form around her ankles. A bit of his own pain to show his understanding, he'd share it with her. "I know what it's like, to feel trapped and powerless. When I found you on floor 4, I saw a girl named Haine. You might have heard her or saw her during the attack on the City of Coral. I found her again, but back when I found you on that ice. I was about to go insane." he quipped as he gingerly took the cup from her after she'd taken her own. Taking a sip he looks down at it, his composure turns to mush. Turning bright red, he shakes a bit and struggles to remain calm. Handing it back to her slowly, his cheeks were on fire.

A breath in and a tap of his face, trying to shake the thought of an indirect kiss from his head. He was Japanese after all. Anime as fuck yo. "It's rather hard to outrun your problems, to push yourself forward when you've lost everything. Expectations are hard to live up to, you'll spend hours and hours wilting away. I forgot what I enjoyed in the meantime, lost myself in the desire to protect everyone around me. I expected to die here, and somewhere inside I am still not so sure that I will survive this. Freyd is to be my successor should it happen." He looks back to the robe in a small pile but a few leagues from them in the grass, a bittersweet memory of all the roads it had seen.

"I could tell you how I feel."

"What that cursor of yours should mean."

"How important you really are to me."

He looks down into the waves, a small koi swimming around in it in small circles around Mari's feet. "But the fact is, your correct. no matter how it plays out, there will always be a victim. I was forced to make a similar choice. At the end of it all, it's your heart that makes you feel this way, and it's bigger than mine. It's why you're having so much trouble burying it." Raidou's gaze advances to the brush that rimmed the place, where his shattered lenses were yeeted on his walk to her. "If I knew breaking another pair of glasses was all it took to finally hear you... to understand you, I would have broken them myself."

[Mari 1]

"Don't beat yourself up over it." Mari said quietly. "That's kinda the impression I give. I can do it on my own, because...I guess I can. I have. I'm so used to doing it on my own I struggle to sorta see help when its right there. I'm tryin' But I feel like its one step forward and several steps back." Mari had been doing her absolute best to do it on her own. She felt like she didn't deserve the help others were offering, she was a murderer. Why weren't more people treating her as such? It didn't seem right. 

Mari reached out, her fingers momentarily dancing over his as she pried the cup from his hand. Mari felt better when she had something to fiddle with. Her thumb danced over its rim before she took several gulps, emptying the cup - then in a fluid motion, poured them another. "I can't say the name rings a bell." Mari said as she passed the full cup back to Raidou. So he was about to go insane? Mari guessed she could see it, it always felt like there was something brewing beneath  the calm exterior he presented. Mari couldn't help but snort at the reaction he seemed to have to them sharing a cup. It didn't even occur to her, it wasn't something that really registered on her radar.

"I don't think Freyd would appreciate the insinuation." Mari said.  "But I'd be  hypocritical to tell you otherwise. Far too long ago I decided I wasn't leaving this game." Mari knew there were other people who felt the same. Freyd. And now Raidou. "It feels like we've been here for several years - who knows how much time actually passed.Kids are loosing their childhood. Life out there - it's moving far beyond our comprehension." Mari shook her head. If she continued, she'd only depress herself more. 

He...surprisingly knew how she felt. How crushing those expectations were. How hard it was to give more and more of herself away.

"How important you really are to me."

"I don't understand that." came the feeble words, laced with a tremor that threatened to trickle over her cheeks once more. She stared at her legs, and how her feet beneath the water shimmered below. How the colours of fish - golden and white and black danced around her legs. "How can I be that important? When we've met but a handful of times. I-"

Mari followed his gaze when he mentioned the glasses, a brief reprise from her inner thoughts as they were shattered by confusion. "I-what? but you weren't wearing any. I didn't!"

Sometimes, all it took was something small, inconspicous, and ludicrous to break that cycle.
Even if that something small was shattered glasses.