[F5-PP] Fighting an Onward Battle (Blood in the Sands)

[Freya 0]

Another early morning, the sun was just setting in the sky. Small amounts of light began to shine through her bedroom window. She seemed to sleep dreamless this night. It was a nice change of pace because for once she didn't wake with an emotion attached. Ko jumps on her chest and licks her face. "Oh come on I am awake, let's go make food okay," Ko jumps off the bed and runs to the kitchen all excited. Pushing her covers off now she gets out of bed. Glancing at the time it was just edging to 6 am, "A meal for Gaius today." Making her way to the kitchen she starts cooking food for the four of them.

Today she makes some eggs and bacon with her own touch of honey buns. Making an extra honey delight for Freyd, she sets it aside and places all the food neatly on plates. Wrapping the dish for Gaius, she quickly eats her food. Making some coffee for herself and Freyd, she walks to the shop and places a dish of food for Gaius and his little friend on the table. She glancing at the staircase with a smile, biting her bottom lip softly. After a moment she walks back to her house and grabs the two coffees and the Honey treat. 

She starts heading to the warp gate with the intention of getting to Floor 5. The gate flashes as she and Ko hop on and materialize to floor 5. She sets the coffees on the ground next to the quest board as she scans through the board. Picking out a quest, she quickly opens her HUD and sents a message:

To: Freyd From: Freya I am on floor 5 with some coffee and food. Meet me?

A short message sent to her friend...Friend, that had a nice ring to it. She had never had a real friend before. Everyone was always just a liar or a cheat, but they were people to hang with. She sits against the pole with a wrapped steaming Honeybun and a coffee hoping he wasn't busy...she takes a few sips of her coffee as she waits for a response. 

Freya | HP:620/620 | EN:62/62 | DMG:13 | MIT:5 | EVA:2 | ACC:3 | BLD:24 | REC:1

Spoiler

Freya
Level: 31
HP: 620/620
EN: 62/62

Stats:
Damage: 13
Mitigation: 5
Evasion: 2
Accuracy: 3
BLD:24
REC:1

Equipped Gear:
Weapon: Grim Reminder - Sorrow (T2/Perfect/2HBA): Damage 2, Bleed 1
Armor: Dark Embrace - Sacrifice (T2/Perfect/Light Armor): Evasion 2, Recovery 1
Misc: Bringer (Tierless/Perfect/Trinket): Accuracy 3

Skills:
Two-Handed Battle Axe [Rank 5]
Light Armor [Rank 3]

Extra Skills:
Concentration
Familiar Fighter (Pending)
Survival (No SP used yet)

Mods:
Finesse Rank 3
Ferocity

Battle Ready Inventory:
Teleport Crystal*1
Resistance Plate - Lily (T1/Perfect/HA): Mitigation 27
Silver Band - Farore's Wind: (T1/Perfect/Trinket) Loot Dice 3

Housing Buffs:
Hard Working: +2 EXP per crafting attempt and +1 crafting attempt per day
Filling: Increase the effectiveness of a single food item consumed in a thread by +1 T1 slot.
Tasty: Turn 2 identical food items into a Lesser Feast. A Lesser Feast contains 4 portions of the food items sacrificed.
Advanced Training: +2 SP to a thread. Limit one use per month [0/1]

Guild Hall Buffs:
Lucrative: Reduce LD needed for Salvage by 5 (10+ for Alchemist crystals, 6+ for everything else). +2 EXP per craft. Rank 9 crafters receive +1 crafting attempt per day. Rank 10 crafters receive +2 crafting attempts per day.
Col Deposit: +5% bonus col from last-hit monster kills and +10% bonus col from treasure chests.

 

[Freyd 0]

Freyd was just wrapping up a review of his correspondence when he received her message.  Things were relatively calm and under control, at the moment.  The impending raid seemed to have put all of Aincrad on tender footing, bad guys included.  Stacking and collating his report, he added them to the daily pile.  This room was full of piles.  In fact, it was more piles than room. But that suited him just fine.  He knew where everything was, and if anyone ever found there way in here, it would take them years just to find his notes on how note-finding.  The room went dark as he passed silently through the exit, up the well shaft and out of his strange underground 'hovel' towards Angel Point's portal gate.  Quaestor's place remained dark, and increasingly foreboding.  Nothing had changed there in some time, and he was growing worried.  Despite wanting to stay out of his friend's business, he'd have to go looking for him soon, if he didn't return.

Friend.  The meaning of that word had grown quite a bit for him, especially in recent weeks.  Here was another friend calling aid, or perhaps just companionship.  Maybe he could get some more relationship advice out of the deal?  Plus, she was a pretty good cook, and they were both fighting demons of their own.  Had Freya had another episode?  He knew the day would come when one of these messages would carry a much heavier burden than a daily mob run.  

'We'll take things as they come,' he thought to himself, pressing his hand onto to the archway.

"Fortaleza."

The scenery twisted and disappeared.  Cold fog was replaced with an all-too-familiar furnace blast of hot air as Persi's home level fell into view.  Freya sat nearby with a thoughtful offering of treats.

"Hey!  That smelled so good I could feel it calling from thirteen."  He took a deep breath, for emphasis, and also to enjoy the bitter scent of a strong cup of coffee.  She's made it just as he liked it.  His mouth watered at the sight of the honey treat held up in his direction.  It was an impressive feat, in the desert.

"So, what do we feel like smiting today?" 

Freyd | HP:1790/1790 | EN:191/191 | DMG:20 | MIT:79 | EVA:2 | ACC:4 | VAMP OFF:179 | HLY:6 | FLN:6 | LD:5 | BH:89

Spoiler

Freyd, The Whisper in Shadows
Level: 88
HP: 1790/1790
EN: 191/191

Stats:
Damage: 20
Mitigation: 79
Evasion: 2
Accuracy: 4
BH:89
VAMP OFF:179
HLY:6
FLN:6
LD:5

Equipped Gear:
Weapon: Samael's Pride (T3-2HSS, VO 1, HOLY 1, FLN 1)
Armor: Skirmisher's Garb (T3 LA, MIT 2, EVA 1)
Misc: Night Shades (T3-Trinket, ACC 3)

Skills:
2H Straight Sword [Rank 5]
Light Armor [Rank 5]
Searching [Rank 4]
Battle Healing [Rank 5]
Parry [Obtained]
Energist [Obtained]
Charge [Rank 5]
Extended Mod Limit R3 [Obtained]
Hiding [Rank 5]
Martial Arts [Rank 5]
Quick Change [Obtained]

Extra Skills:
Disguise
Familiar Mastery: Fighter 3
Survival
Meditation

Active Mods:
Precision - 2HSS
Finesse - Rank 3
LA Athletics
Ferocity - 2HSS
LA Sprint and Acrobatics
Vengeful Riposte
Untraceable
Tracking

Inactive Mods:
Vanish
Surprise Attack (Assassin)
Night Vision

Battle Ready Inventory:
Teleport Crystals*5
Gungnir Shard: Haniel's Modesty (T3 Perfect HP Rec [Instant]*5
Flash of Rejuvenation (Mass HP Rec [Instant] (+30*Tier HP)*5
Fruit-Infused Tea (T3 HP Recovery)*5
Imugi's Inspiration (T3 Mass HP Recovery)*5
Mega-Duper... Sauce (Antidote 3)*5
Grave Injustice (T3-2HSS, ACC 1, Keen 1, Abs. ACC)*1

Housing Buffs:
Rested: -1 energy cost for the first two expenditures of each combat
Clean: The first time you would suffer DoT damage in a thread, reduce damage taken from DoT each turn by 20% (rounded down)
Hard Working: +2 EXP per crafting attempt and +1 crafting attempt per day
Filling: Increase the effectiveness of a single food item consumed in a thread by +1 T1 slot.
Item Stash: +1 Battle Ready Inventory Slot
Delicious: Turn 3 identical food items (same quality, tier, & enhancements) into a Feast. A Feast contains 6 portions of the food items sacrificed.
Relaxed: Increases out of combat HP regen by (5 * Tier HP) and decreases full energy regen to 2 Out of Combat Posts.
Skylight (Searching): +1 Rank to the Searching skill.
Angler: +1 material gained when fishing
Advanced Training: +2 SP to a thread. Limit one use per month [0/1]
Multipurpose: Gain +1 to LD, Stealth Rating, Stealth Detection, or Prosperity to one post in a thread. Can be applied after a roll
Decor [Potted Tanabata Bamboo Tree]: This buff affects the player and their choice of up to two party members.

Guild Hall Buffs:
Lucrative: Reduce LD needed for Salvage by 5 (10+ for Alchemist crystals, 6+ for everything else). +2 EXP per craft. Rank 9 crafters receive +1 crafting attempt per day. Rank 10 crafters receive +2 crafting attempts per day.
Col Deposit: +5% bonus col from last-hit monster kills and +10% bonus col from treasure chests.

Scents of the Wild:
Kumatetsu Statue: +1 Base Damage for a thread

Wedding Ring:

 

[Freya 0]

Handing him the steamy Honey treat and the still-hot coffee with a small chuckle. "Yea I seem to have a way with food more so here than back home. Gaius hasn't complained yet and I make him breakfast every morning that I can." Before he could take a sip of the coffee she says, "I added a hint of vanilla to that. It turned out really good. Not too sweet so you can still taste the coffee part of it." Ko hops onto Freya's shoulders before she got to her feet. Glancing down at Ko saying "What no climbing today?" Ko just gives a soft purring sound as she curls up on her shoulder and falls back asleep.

A smirk forms on Freya's lips as she glances at Freyd practically drooling while he eats what she made. "I usually buy them but I wanted to try my hand at it this time." Laughing a bit at the view she opens her HUD saying "Some info brokers claim that there is a beast under the sands just miles from town. I figured we could take a jab at it and catch up." Taking a few sips of her coffee she realized he never told her if he likes that last meal she cooked. "About that Salmon I made you...Did you like it? No lying either, I have been experimenting with tastes and I need to know the dos and don'ts. Will help me improve in the long run." She starts walking toward the gates backwards while keeping her gaze upon Freyd eager to hear the verdict of yay or nay.

[Freyd 0]

Following in her footsteps, literally, Freyd answered the last question first.  

"The salmon was fantastic.  It's the first time since I've been here that I realized how much I miss real food, and you went and gave me a cure for that hankering in the same thing that triggered it.  Keep experimenting, please!"

Going through the motions of setting up their party and checking the quest details, a knowing look flashed across his eyes.  

"Sand shark.  This will be a breeze.  Honestly, you could probably sneeze on it and slay it."

A goopy black form poked its head out from his cowl, opening a pair of brilliant azure eyes before its form changed to the dazzling pattern of the clear star-studded night's sky.

"Yup, we're home, Persi.  Come on out and have a romp.  You can show Ko all the lowlights."  

Sparing him a silent, arrogant huff, she dropped down to the ground, flattening like a puddle, then instantly reformed as a sleek, sneaky mongoose about three feet long.  Trotting proudly around, she sniffed and darted from nook to nook, searching under rocks and other hollows.

"Persi and I met here, some time ago now.  She lived over in one of the canyons not far from here."  His next words were addressed to Ko.  "Don't mind her.  She's always looking around for secrets.  Must be why we make such a good pair."

Freyd sipped at his coffee.  Vanilla was his favorite, though he couldn't recall whether he'd ever said so.  Loudly smacking lips were intended as Freya's reward and thanks.  This was a perfect second start to the day.

"I've been keeping busy, as usual, but nothing all that spectacular to report... err... share.  Sorry.  Habits.  How about you?"

[Freya 0]

Watching Persi finally seeing him in full form, a smile given as she turns to liquid hitting the ground then back to full form. Ko's head turns still laying in a ball but looks to the other familiar with one eye open. Her head perks up watching her... Sitting up now she pats Freya's face to get her attention with a tiny paw. "You can see if Persi can handle you," knowing how playful and obnoxious she could be though she quickly says "Just please play nice..." as Ko jumps from her shoulders landing on the ground with a slide. Her tiny eyes glance up at Freyd before she chases after Persi. "I mean it Ko..." she calls out shaking her head now. 

Freyd smacks his lips loudly after taking a sip of the coffee. Freya chuckles at the scene as it was a comical sight. "I am glad you like it," she turns facing forward now taking a sip of her own with a small moan of enjoyment herself. After a moment saying "This was my ideal coffee choice back home. Just a little hint of vanilla to give it taste but the I love the bitter black too. It gives a nice spark to my buds. I am glad you liked everything though. When I think of my next I will let you try it. These are potential things I will be adding to the shop soon."

Remembering the comment about thwomping the sand shark, "Yea probably, it gets me just that much closer to what I wanted to do. I am not sure that is all that matters though. Making connections with the guild I think would do me some good as well. As you said before I can't do this alone." Her head turns slightly over her shoulder meeting Freyd's eyes with a smirk painted across her face. Facing forward she sees in the distance, Ko jumps on Persi playfully..."Ko I said play nice..." trying to see what Persi's reaction would be... She was very small in size but Ko really had no fear... 

The last caught her off guard a bit..." Oh um... It's been quiet. It's nice, I have been able to focus better. I have been finding new guild members that I haven't met before. I am not sure I have been giving a very good impression though...I am not sure that they really like me. High standards and all given that Eruda is a large part of the guild any every one seems to love her..." A small frown forms on her face but then she perks up a bit saying "I'll keep trying though..."

[Freyd 0]

"Half of Firm Anima seems to love me and the rest are terrified that I'm some kind of treacherous, backstabbing monster.  I get the latter group.  My role in the guild isn't exactly one that attracts a lot of positive publicity.  It's how many that seem to fit into the former group that I don't really get." Freyd shrugged, by way of explanation.  This wasn't really his preferred field of engagement.  He monitored, analyzed and then modeled predictive vectors and counters as part of a larger strategy.  People, meanwhile, thought that it was nice that he was helping out so many members of the guild.  Why wouldn't he?  Doing so enhanced their chances of survival and Firm Anima's strength and resilience.  Beyond that, it built a bond between guild members, and common loyalty.  It was a factor in tactical modeling.  But, friendships?  Those had come as a surprise.

"This thing with ChaseR needs to end.  It's toxic for the guild, and for him.  My cards have been played.  Now I need to see if my hand was strong enough to draw him back into the fold, or if he chooses to discard himself.  As to you're interactions, has rumor of your attack on Eruda soured people?  What seems to be the problem?"

[Freya 0]

Listening to Freyd as they walk and talk... She stops dead in her tracks has Freyd mentions that night. A flood of emotions enters her as she was trying to hold back tears now. Sadness, regret, fear, anger... This was something she was trying to forget. The one memory she didn't want. She looks to Freyd with watery eyes, why would he bring that up... She bites her top lip, as she stops breathing for a moment. Her chest felt heavy and she could feel her eyes pulse between dilation and normal. Quickly shutting her eyes she turns from Freyd.

Remembering this night physically hurt her. She didn't do any damage to Eruda or Sam that night but she could have. If Eruda wasn't there, she would have surely lost it fully on Sam and hurt her really bad... And Eruda...she wasn't sure what she was doing at the time but she did attack Eruda. She loved her sister more than anything and anyone in the world and she attacked her She was all Freya truly had for the longest time. Her eyes pulse again, "God please not now..." opening her eyes now she glancing around. Seeing a large boulder she quickly walks to it and leans her back against it dragging herself to the ground. Legs curl against her chest, leaning her head against the rock, closing her eyes tight as a tear falls down her cheek. 

"I am sorry Freyd, I just..." her words drop as she takes a few uneasy deep breaths... Hands to her side as she digs her nails into the palms of her hands. After a solid 20 minutes of this, she slowly opens her eyes meeting Freyd's. This was her way of coping these days. If she felt like she was losing the battle she would take a moment to herself.

"I haven't dealt with that yet. Every time I remember what happened that night...It's just too much..." Freya sits up and takes a water bottle out of her pack and drinks some. "What makes me so different from Chase that you want to help me but not him. I mean, I threw myself at Sam and Eruda that night with the intention to Kill for a very split second. Eruda has forgiven me but I can't find the will to forgive myself... Sam is avoiding me at all cost. Why is it so easy to give me a chance but you won't give him the time of day or a second thought..." She really wanted to know this because right now it seemed like Chase and her attack out of emotions... When they become too much they both unleash. Freya was trying to find that peace, that small dim light to walk through and make it all better but it was becoming harder and harder every day.

[Freyd 0]

Spotting her change in stance and then slump against the nearby stone, Freyd stopped and stood as he watched and listened to Freya's outpouring.  Something was processing behind the glaze of his red eyes, debating whether to tip his hand or not.  A moment later, his decision was made and he plunked down, sitting with legs crisscrossed just a few feet from her.  A small puff of dust raised up around him from the speed of his sudden movements.

"It's funny that you put it that way, actually, but not really surprising."  He licked his lips, as if something juicy were pending, but it this case it was to divulge and not for general consumption.  "I have never meant ChaseR any harm, nor even actively provoked him save after he repeatedly stoked my ire.  He's a generally good guy, who has a lot of anger inside.  It overwhelms his reason, constantly, which is what led to the incident between us.  Even then, I refused to pander to it, which just drove him over the edge."  Freyd replayed the encounter in his mind, back to the moment where he knew he had him and could have finished him with ease.  No one would have known, and still he chose not to.  That meant something, at least to him own sense of self.

"Gaius suffers from a lesser version of the same affliction: too much passion, not enough reason.  I'm the opposite.  Raidou seems to sit on an inverse axis, but in the realm of the same spectrum."  He sighed, regrouping his thoughts.  "Firm Anima has never faced this kind of challenge.  I called the meeting to provoke conversation, but also to expose fault lines within the guild.  It's useful to know who associates themselves with whom.  More than a few showed their stripes in that meeting, if you were watching."

Plans within plans within plans.  You must be an arachnid at heart, with all the webs you weave.

"Did anything happen in that moment that might have set... it... off?"  Freyd steered the conversation in a fresh direction, hoping that the sudden tack might shake something loose.  "Why Eruda?  Why then?  Was it the sight of her, or having nothing to do with her at all?  A word, object or symbol might just as easily have provided the trigger."

 

[Freya 0]

Taking a slow deep breath as she recalls that entire day in her mind. "While I was fighting with my Gemini I was so angry. The memories that were given were oddly specific. The main ones of Griswold younger, then what he looks like now. Right after an argument that I had about him leaving with my mother. My thought after full and clear...Eruda, me, and Griswold spent the entire day together at that Tabana event thing that was going on. This was weeks before I did my Gemini. Eruda had every chance to tell me that Griswold was our father but chose to say nothing."

Leaning her back against the rock again, she felt another tear run down her face. Small but it was there. " I passed out right after I in-game standards, defeated my Gemini. Clearly, those raging feelings held because when I woke, and don't get me wrong it's still fuzzy, but when I woke I was pinning Sam against the wall of Eruda's shop with my Scythe against her throat. It was like it was me but not...The fear in Sam's eyes is unforgettable." Her chest felt heavier than ever as she said these next words. "I felt a hand on my shoulder and before I knew it I was swinging my Scythe backward against a shield as sparks flew against my face. Eruda had grabbed my arm after that yelling my name. The moment my eyes met Eruda's and I realized what was going on I dropped my weapon. I fell to my knees crying."

Another tear fell against her cheek. She closed her eyes "All I remember perfectly was that I was full of soo much rage and anger. I couldn't physically bring myself to stop until we locked eyes." A sniffle from Freya before saying "Sam ran out of the building and hasn't spoken to me since then. Eruda told me that my eyes were dilated with a slightly different shade or my original color." Setting her head against the rock again eyes still closed. "In that split, second nothing else mattered and I didn't care who got in my way. Nothing but rage... How can I forgive myself for such an action..." Freya was keeping her breathing straight. She really was not okay but it helped to actually talk about it.

[Freyd 0]

Freyd watched her tears fall, tracing their path of travel with his cold and calculating eyes, noting facial forms and features for future reference.  Anyone else might have dried her tears for her.  In his mind, that would be a mistake, and counterproductive.  She had asked for help, not comfort.  Letting the tears fall was more usefu, for them both.  Freya needed to feel them, and understand that her guilt was good.  It meant that she still held a strong moral center; one that could counter the rage she described.  For Freyd's benefit, it maintained respectful distance and avoided the symbolism of attachment that neither of them desired.

You could just be nice.

I'm here, listening and sorting out the puzzle, despite all other pressing priorities.  That IS being nice.

"How can I forgive myself for such an action..." 

"By accepting that it happened and that you cannot undo the past.  By acting with contrition and letting your deeds demonstrate your guilt.  By owning the action and the consequence, then working to understand how it happened in order to prevent it from recurring.  This is your path to redemption.  Anything else is a coddling, self-delusion."

Harsh.

The truth always is.  She wanted help.  Real friends are brutally honest when no one else will be.  Real friends will make you face your pain, then stand by you as you do so.  Real friends will not help you hide from who you are or what you have done, even if it was beyond your control.

She's going to be pissed with you when this is over.

Probably.  But I will have fulfilled my promise.

[Freya 0]

By accepting that it happened and that you cannot undo the past.

Freya's eyes open in a squint as they meet with his. "You told me what you did. Have you accepted it... If I was out in the real world with or without this thing in my head and just let my rage loose into the world..." she repositions herself sitting on her knees now keeping her eyes locked with his. "Eruda would have had no defense on her side and I would have killed her. Granted I wouldn't have known about Griswold..." Looking down at the ground now thinking that it would have been different... Eruda would have not been the target of her rage because the tabana thing would have never happened and she would have never met Griswold if it wasn't for this dam game in the first place... Freya was stuck in her head thinking...

The only thing that Eruda knew was that rage Freya felt for her mother... Eruda was quiet about the entire situation but she wasn't stupid... That was also when Eruda became silent, distant, and attached to Freya's hip... She was beginning to understand that she was not the only one in pain from what her mother did... She began to feel a pain in her chest but it was different...

"Freyd...I royally fucked up. Eruda was hurting and I had no idea because I..." she started to speak softly as she was actually crying now... "I was too focused on dealing with my own shit that I couldn't see that Eruda was in pain too." She started explaining her thought through her tears now, "My mother took us and I went into a rage that was unbearable. Eruda got silent and talked to no one besides me." Freya frantically glances around with just her eyes like she was sorting it out right there. "I was fighting so hard to keep myself from thinking about the past that I forgot to keep Eruda in that bubble. I pushed her away because I made myself forget the past..." 

Eruda was never the target of her anger... When she saw Eruda that night after waking, she saw her mother... It made sense now because the fight was the last thing Freya saw in her memories after she dealt with her Gemini... That was the memory that stuck like glue...

"I fucked up Freyd and now I need to fix it or at least try to," as she says this the ground beneath them began to rumble... Freya gets quickly to her feet and wipes her tears from her cheek. Her eyes shift through the sand to figure out where the source of the ground shaking was... Pulling her Scythe off her back, she watches the sands closely... Instead of throwing those feelings that she was just going through, out the window, she used them. She closes her eyes and listens...

After a moment she turns quickly as this thing was swimming at them quickly within the sands. Without looking at Freyd, she runs making the distance between Freyd and the thing. As it gets into range Freya grips her Scythes hilt tight with both hands and slams the bottom of her hilt against the ground. In the same moment, she uses those emotions to activate her concentration skill as black oozed mist flows out of her body and Scythe in unison. Moments after this the large shark meets a large crackling impact of its own. Like a dolphin jumping out of the water, the shark is in mid-air before Freya twists her Scythe around and jumps with her back foot off the ground letting her art guide her to the destination. Making contact with an exploding ending as Freya's feet hit the ground with a puff of dust adding to the black mist around her.

A deep breath out as she stares at the ground for a moment while the data of the very dead creature sprinkles above her head like snowfall. Turning to Freyd now meeting his eyes as he watched her demolish the thing... "I think I am beginning to understand everything now... Including how to use this," she says as she twirls her weapon just once in front of her with both hands before placing it against her back. She slowly walks back to Freyd placing her hands behind her back and interlocking her hands, staring at the ground... 

Activating Concentration and Explode Catapult

ID# 181728 results: Battle: 5+4=9, Hits! vs Sand Shark, Dealing 13+14=182 Damage, Killing it!

Player:
Freya | HP:620/620 | EN:49/62 | DMG:13 | MIT:5 | EVA:2 | ACC:3 | BLD:24 | REC:1
Freyd | HP:1790/1790 | EN:191/191 | DMG:20 | MIT:79 | EVA:2 | ACC:4 | VAMP OFF:179 | HLY:6 | FLN:6 | LD:5 | BH:89

Enemy:
Sand Shark | HP:-57/125 | DMG:50

Edited January 26, 2021 by Freya

[Freyd 0]

Freyd sat, unmoving, palms pressed flat against the ground behind him.  His shoulders spread, imperceptibly relaxing to better absorb the vibrations caused by the approaching threat.  

"You told me what you did. Have you accepted it..."

"I accepted that I was ruled by fear of my own making, in every possible sense."

Red eyes closed as they looked inwards, just as Freya's gaze did the same for her, by way of delving into memory.  She looked back within herself and witnessed circumstance by a different light,  considering the meaning obtained from the slightest shift in her perspective.  It was enough.  The dots, which had always been there, revealed themselves and could finally be connected.  

"I accepted that it was my choice to fear myself that gave the rage its power."

Vibrations became a rumble as bits of loose dirt danced and jumped across the ground, soon joined by larger pebbles.  Their images became fuzzy as their frequency of movement peaked, and then the ground itself heaved as a giant set of serrated teeth breached the surface bound for his face.   He couldn't see them, but knew that maw was guided by a pair of full, black and empty eyes driven only by hunger and a programmed need to act upon it at all cost.  Freyd knew those eyes.  They matched his own, whenever the lids were closed: black pits of boundless anger aching to react to the slightest provocation.  Where once his will had turned that anger outward, like a fortress, he had since learned to channel it through an elegant blade, held together by sheer intent to do, and be, better.

"I fucked up Freyd and now I need to fix it or at least try to."

The scythe's blade passed a hair's breadth above his head and cleaved the beast to leave not but a shower of pummeled pixels to wash over him.  Freyd felt them land upon his skin like fresh flakes of snows, imbued with death and melting where they clung to him, as if absorbed.  

"Then choose to master your rage, as I did mine, and teach it to fear limitless resolve instead.  Bind yourself to your cause.  Commit with everything you are and ever will be."  Freyd opened his eyes and raised a dust-covered hand to stare at it, then looked to her.  

"In here, resolve is literally everything you are and ever will be.  It grants you the power to do anything."

"I think I am beginning to understand everything now... Including how to use this." 

Crossed legs unfurled and made him seem to float and rise without the use of hands. His right came to rest upon her shoulder.  The grip was firm, but just below the threshold of pain.  Red eyes remained locked with green, reaffirming the growing strength she was finding within her.

"You said that you wanted to be stronger.  To achieve that requires you to understand and accept one simple and inescapable truth: you already have all the strength that you will ever need.  You need only shift your point of view enough to see it, and then have the will to act.  If it is your will to make amends to Eruda, then do so, by whatever means are necessary.  Let nothing stand between you and your resolve."

[Freya 0]

I accepted that it was my choice to fear myself that gave the rage its power.

Freya sits next to Freyd now. The only threat was dead and she could think in peace now. "There was no fear...at least I don't think. I just remember being so angry. So even though I can't deal with the cause of this furious feeling I feel, I have to somehow keep it at bay and use it for my own well being." Freya opens her HUD menu and takes out 2 honey rolls.

Then choose to master your rage, as I did mine, and teach it to fear limitless resolve instead.  Bind yourself to your cause.  Commit with everything you are and ever will be.

Freya hands one of the Honey Rolls to Freyd as she tries to decipher what he meant in regards to her situation. "So harness my anger and use it as a strength instead of a weakness." She takes a small bite of her Rolls. "What exactly do you mean by limitless resolve? It makes me think, to let HIM know that it will always be there and that I have proven that I can handle it. By forcing and aiming that feeling away from my loved ones, use it to my advantage in battle instead. Accept that that feeling will never go away and control it before it controls me..."

Even if this wasn't exactly what Freyd was talking about she knew in her own way that this was what needed to get done. She also knew that it wasn't going to happen overnight either. Listening to the last thing Freyd said... She knew now more than ever that she had to make up with Eruda. She could no longer keep Eruda in the dark. She needed her sister, she wanted to be close to her again. Getting to know Griswold and making up for lost times was on her to do this now too. Making that connection with her father was going to make being here in this game that much easier. On another note, she had to make up with Sam. She has not seen her for what felt like months and this might be that Sam was avoiding her like the plague. Freya couldn't have that on her conscience any longer and she had to do something. 

Glancing to Freyd meeting his eyes she smiles. "Every time I am with you, you help me through something... I would have come to this conclusion on my own but surely not as quick as this." She crisscrossed her legs now eating the rest of her roll. "A meal is in order, anything you want. It's the only way I know to repay what you've done for me." Leaning against her arms with her hands in the sand.

[Freyd 0]

"Limitless resolve means to move your will to whatever extent you need in order to match and overcome any challenge set before you.   It's a very 'ends justify the means' approach, and requires a type of dedication that few people can bring themselves to master.  Think of it like this:  what would you not do to keep your sister at your side?  Lie?  Cheat? ...Kill?  It's not an easy question to ponder, let alone answer.  Most people have some limit that their minds or morals will not allow them to cross.  For very few, that limit can't exist."  His eyes seemed to lose focus, but he continued.

"You'll have to find your own way to harness and use your anger.  Everyone's is different and comes from a unique experience or context.  If you do figure it out, let me know.  I haven't managed to square how to find room for love in mine, but I want to."  He didn't think he'd manage to admit it out loud.  Maybe it was the similarity between Freya's situation and his own.  As much as he cared for Elora, he knew that a choice would inevitably come between what was 'necessary' and his feelings for her.  It would be his elephant in the raid boss room, where there was no margin for hesitation or doubt.  That troubled him.  Everything he had always been would choose necessity, and yet...

Stuffing his face full of honey roll offered a welcome, but temporary distraction. 

"A meewl?   Uhmmm...  hww m'bowt shushi?"

[Freya 0]

Sitting there listening to Freyd's explanation she became a bit serious as she remarks, "I will not cheat and I will not lie. The two things that I will never do. I would kill for anyone and everyone I love though." A feeling swells within her thinking about the kiss between her and Gaius and Freyd says his next words. "Simple you just let it. Make that choice that she matters and make it happen. Love can make you stronger and give you another reason to fight. I chose to love Gaius because it helps me keep my ground on reality and know that there is more out there than just fighting..." she places a hand over her mouth after she realized what she just said... Slowly pulling her hand away from her face... in a small voice looking toward the ground, "I love Gaius..." She ponders this for a moment before her face flusters a bit. 

"Ah yea Sushi," she gets up from the ground and clears her throat. She knew she had feelings for Gaius but she didn't realize that they were that strong... "Come to my house, it's next to the guildhall..." she says rather plainly as she was lost in thought. She starts heading to her house to prepare Sushi for Freyd.

[Freyd 0]

And there it was: the invisible trap.  Love makes you stronger if your ultimate goal is to fight for the one you love.  But other goals are complicated by love, because the moment will inevitably come when you have to choose between the two.  Freyd had already made his choice, and now found love - or thought he had.  It was such a foreign concept that he couldn't honestly be sure, but it... felt.  The sincerity of that sensation alone was overwhelming to a mind accustomed only to reason.  

Dude, you're a frikkin Vulcan.

Not wrong.

"I hope you and Gaius all the very best, Freya.  I really mean that."  Pain was plain of Freyd's face as he spoke the words, retreating within his cowl and glad that she had turned away.  He was used to having no emotions to reveal, and apparently quite bad at hiding those that were burgeoning inside.  He would have to remedy that, and promptly.  This was not going to be easy.

[Freya 0]

Through some warp gates, they eventually end on floor 22 and in front of Freya's door to her house. The outside looks just like the guild hall exterior but as she opens the door, a Japanesse interior reveals itself rather plain but livable. A table standing a foot from the black fuzzy carpet. A built-in fireplace directly to the left. A large rectangular window to the right with no glass with view of the kitchen. A door way leading to the kitchen directly to the right of the front door leading further down a hall way to a wrap around staircase heading upward. A few doors are littered along the way. "Make yourself at home," she says walking into the kitchen as she starts grabbing the ingrediants for Sushi. Beginning to prepare the meal she says "All I am saying is that you have to be open to the thought of loving someone in this hell. What are you willing to do to keep that connection with the one that you love more than anyone here. Learn to work with them so that you know they are on the same page and want to live as much as you do so that there are no problems within the battlefield. Know that they will try just as hard to stay alive."

[Freyd 0]

"Make yourself at home,"

'How do I do that amidst all this... clutter?'  He thought it, but said nothing.  Crowding was relative, and he lived in a modernist's underground utopian hovel, so void of ornament that deserts seemed crowded by comparison.  The space was actually relatively sparse and minimalist in design.  His father would appreciate it.  The realization made Freyd hate his own home even more, and bred desire to resume his last discussion with Elora.

"I wish it was that-" He cut himself off.  "No.  I wish that I could make it so simple for myself, would be a more honest answer.  Love is outside of my experience, though I think I've finally had a taste."  His hand raised, unbidden, and touched his lips.  Smell returned from memories so strong that they would not stray far from his thoughts.  Why was he so distracted?  What magic was this that overrode reason so persistently.  Fetching himself some water, he hoped to drown his thoughts.  But the water was cold, like ice, and snow drifting all around.  Pressing his hand to his forehead he feared that he'd been poisoned.

"Ugh.  Is this normal?  I can't stop thinking of her kiss!"

Vanity Tag: @Elora

[Freya 0]

Freya seemed detracted from her thoughts and Freyd talking but manages to create a meal. A platter was full of different variants of Sushi littering the surface. Freyd walks in grabbing a glass of water as he seemed to be freaking just a bit. Talking about feelings that she was keen too. Freyd mentions a kiss...Making Freya instantly remember her's with Gaius. Chuckling a bit as she sets a hand on his shoulder for a moment before picking up the platter and bringing it to the living room area, setting it on the table. She takes a seat on the floor as her knees meet the soft carpet. 

"A kiss..." she says biting her bottom lip softly. "Freyd hold onto that. That feeling, the longing for wanted more from that one special person. What you are feeling is more than normal. It makes you human. I think about mine with Gaius all the time and it makes me want to be with him more, missing him when we are not together." Her chest starts to pound as those emotions and thoughts get stronger. "That feeling that you want more than anything to keep going just for them alone. All I can say is keep that feeling close because it will turn into something more miraculous than you could ever imagine." Even after all this time, she has spent with Freyd...her heart only beats for Gaius and that...makes her know that it was true. That love did exist. Adding a little more, "Love like this only happens once in a lifetime. With me and Rin, it felt rushed, not real. With Gaius...It just feels right." She takes a deep breath coming to this realization as she takes a bite of the Sushi she made. "Wow, this is actually really good," she says with a small chuckle.

[Freyd 0]

Sitting himself down, opposite to Freya, Freyd forces clarity upon himself and peace onto an unsettled mind.  It was not a mindset he could afford right now.  He breathed, letting his shoulders relax as he re-centered himself.  What had started as a straightforward, standard day had somehow become much more complicated.  Wasn't he supposed to be helping Freya, and not the other way around? 

That's how friendship works.

Fair point.

Bracing his palms against his thighs, Freyd takes a moment to offer his hostess a bow.

"Thank you.  For your hospitality, wisdom and friendship.  I value them all, and I'm humbled to receive your help when I'm the one who is supposed to be helping you.  I'll do my best, for her - for us."

Tasting his first morsel, a smile spread across the Whispers lips.  A flood of memories followed, long repressed but still with him.  They were filled with joyful moments of time spent with a grandfather he had long failed to appreciate.  One who tried to teach him the same lessons, only he was too young and struggling with other challenges to listen.  It was an unparalleled gift.

"Delightful."

***

Thread Summary:

Freya receives:

5 SP (1 page, +1 event, +3 quest)
400 col
[Sand Armor Potion] This incredibly potent alchemical salve can be applied to a piece of armor, increasing damage mitigation/resistance.. (+27 MIT consumable; does not stack with other MIT consumables).

Freyd receives:

2 SP (1 page, +1 event)
[Sand Armor Potion] This incredibly potent alchemical salve can be applied to a piece of armor, increasing damage mitigation/resistance.. (+27 MIT consumable; does not stack with other MIT consumables).