[PP-F24] Drowning

[Alkor 0]

The twenty fourth floor went beyond feeling like home. The beach was what he knew, but this was the sort of otherworldly, tropical beauty that differentiated the game from reality. He was glad for it. He welcomed the sensation because it was sobering, and didn't allow him to find himself lost in the fantasy that nothing had changed. So many Players fell victim to routine. Alkor just tried to make the best of what he'd been given. This lagoon was one of the few places he came to find his quiet. 

Around him, the sky and sea melted together in a pastel of azure. Rocky shoreline crested against the horizon and interrupted the gentle flow abruptly, yet from their interference the light that filtered overtop cast a soothing shadow. Nestled in that gentle darkness, the Swordsman leaned against one of the many jagged stones that flecked the beach. He basked in the last rays of twilight as the darkness crept overhead. With a placid expression on his face, Alkor couldn't have hoped for a more peaceful retreat from all the stressors that SAO had to throw at him. 

He used the precious time he had to reflect. Most recently, the deep and shattering conversation with Koga- his feelings on that were still raw, and the wound hadn't even scabbed over yet. It wasn't anything the other man did. Alkor just had to take time for himself, to face those things and to make his own peace. There was Lessa, who was apparently glad that he reached out. Was his fear that she might see him as a nuisance born of his anxiety? It seemed that was the case, but he found himself drowning in all the implications that came with it. Thoughts bore more thoughts. He fell further away from clarity.

"The stars sure are pretty," he murmured to himself as he made a vain attempt to focus on anything other than the war behind his eyes.

@Noctua

 

Alkor level 49

1000/1000 HP 108/108 Energy

14 Damage / 4 ACC / 3 EVA / 12 MIT / 24 Blight

Blightsteel (2 DMG/1 Blight/Cursed) / Cowl of the Wandering Warrior (3 EVA) / Eye of Osiris (3 ACC)

Rank 5 Curved Sword / Rank 3 Light Armor / Athletics / Precision / Ferocity/ Finesse rank 3 / Fighter familiar rank 3 / Survival / Extended Mod limit

Edited February 25, 2021 by Alkor

[Noctua 0]

Spoiler

Noctua
Level: 28 | HP: 560/560 | EN: 56/56 | DMG: 10 | MIT: 18 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 1 | BRN: 24 | BLT: 24 | REGN: 5 | RECOVERY: 1

Equipped
» Jack's Graceful Repose [T2 Demonic Rapier [Burn // Blight // Cursed // Burn]]
» Winged Armor [T2 Demonic Light Armor Coat [Cursed / EVA / EVA / Regen]]
» Owl's Wings [T1 Perfect Trinket [Accuracy // Recovery // Evasion]]

Skills
» Rapier - Rank 5

• » Rapier Finesse - Rank 3

» First Aid - Rank 1

Extra Skills

» Fighter - Rank 2
» Survival

She had heard something about a beach on the twenty-fourth floor. She hadn't been exploring in, well apparently a year, that was still something that she was trying to wrap her mind around, and it wasn't easy really. She looked at the owl who was perched on her shoulder, like usual, and she lightly stroked the snow-white feathers of one of Athena's wings. "How does a trip to the beach sound?" There was a comforting hoot before the pair went to the teleporter and were whisked away in the blue light. That was a feeling that was a bit odd after not leaving her room for a year, as was the night sky.

But it was the ocean air that made her feel a little more comfortable and relaxed. She knew that she would be in deep trouble if she was found by a monster here, but, it wasn't like she mattered to others anymore, right? She needed to figure out what she was to do, she didn't want to lose Koga, but she had a feeling that it was something that was going to happen anyways. That look that he gave her... it wasn't him. That wasn't Koga.... Had, had she already lost him? She didn't want to think that, she didn't want to think that the person who looked at her yesterday was the new Koga.

That was a very horrifying thought to really think, and it wasn't until she heard someone else as she walked the beach that she stopped in her tracks. She looked up and actually took a close look, the night sky reminding her of some of the times that she held near and dear with Koga, but she still nodded, "They are, aren't they." Her words were soft, which wasn't good, because that was the old Noctua, the one who didn't like talking to others, the one who could stutter at a moments notice.

That was just how bad her interaction with Koga had been earlier that day. It hurt, no broke, her. She didn't feel like she had anyone in her life anymore, so perhaps, just perhaps, running into a monster here wasn't a bad idea. At least then, she didn't have to face the pain that she was causing the man whom she still loved. Just the thought of that, made her twist the engagement ring on her finger. She probably shouldn't be wearing this anymore, but she was, she didn't want to let it go. She didn't want to lose the only thing that held the old Koga, the one whom she knew and cherished, close to her heart.

Funny how break-ups hurt, right? If that was what this could be called. This wasn't just a normal break up, was it? It was a shattered relationship, because she just couldn't talk to the man whom she was supposed to have married.

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

"Mmmm..." Alkor started to agree, then realized he suddenly wasn't alone. Sometimes, deep in his thoughts, familiar voices would come back to him. When it struck that this one wasn't familiar, he glanced up toward the source. "Oh, sorry," he apologized, "I hadn't realized there was anyone else here."

Part of him wanted to be annoyed that he wasn't alone, but a bigger portion was now worried that he looked like an idiot who was talking to himself. He stood upright and brushed the sand off himself. With his thumbs hooked under the dark trousers that hid beneath his cowl, he returned his gaze to the heavens. If she meant no harm, then he had no reason to stress or arm himself. 

"Sometimes it's good to step away and just lose yourself in something," he said, giving voice to his purpose here. "Even if they aren't real, they still beggar understanding. For me, looking at the stars makes my problems all seem insignificant."

Once he'd spoken those words, he glanced back to the woman. She twisted a ring around her finger, fumbling with it. A nervous habit, perhaps? He understood that. It was rude to ask someone that he'd just met about what was bothering them, right? Yeah. Best to not do that.

This woman was to be married. Or at the very least, she had the ring significant of such an engagement. Second thoughts? Don't talk about relationship stuff. Got it.

"I'm Alkor," he told her. "It's nice to meet you."

[Noctua 0]

She looked at him and shook her head lightly, "No need to be sorry." There was no true need for him to worry, she had been lost in her own thoughts when she heard him say something. She didn't bother to try and grab a hold of her rapier, there was no need. She wasn't one for mindless combat against another player, and well, if this guy kills her, then she obviously deserves it for stopping there.

Instead, she just looked over to the ocean, watching the waves, feeling a little closer to being back at home. But not by much. It was possibly just the fresh air and the fact that she wasn't in that inn room anymore. But then, she really didn't feel as free as one probably should have. Perhaps it was because her mind wouldn't let that image of Koga go. The one where he told her not to worry about him. Yes, she had heard that, and yes, hearing that hurt like none other.

She blinked back a few tears for a moment before looking at the man she ran into. "Mine is the ocean. It reminds me of home, of when I could just walk on the beach and pretend that no one else was around." She was talking, so perhaps that was a good thing, she dropped her hands though, feeling the weight from playing with the ring that was on her hand. "I'm Noctua," she paused for a moment, "would you mind if I sat down?"

If he was to say no, then she would part her ways then. She didn't want to intrude on anyone, she never did really, but right now, her mindset was in a place that just wasn't safe for her to get yelled at or chastised. Or really anything of that sort.

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

"Just like me, then," he said quietly when she mentioned that the Ocean felt like home. The sound of waves crashing against the shoreline was among the few greatest forms of catharsis he could imagine. He recalled his grandmother telling him about the healing properties of salt water, and how her mother would stand waist deep in the sea and let the water flow into open cuts or scrapes. It sounded painful when he thought about it, but somehow, almost the same as what he was doing now.

The same as both of them were doing, really. Without hearing her reasons, he gleaned her purpose from her words. They were both lost, looking for answers just outside their reach. Both of them were metaphorically letting the saltwater touch their open wounds. Would it heal them? Perhaps.

"Yeah, sure," he gestured to the beach all around him vaguely. "Plenty of free real estate. Make yourself at home." Alkor wasn't one to tell someone they couldn't do as they pleased, especially when this was an open area where anyone could come and go freely. Instead, he was warm and welcoming. He'd found that sometimes it was better not to be alone, even if you weren't sharing deep and painful truths with another person. 

"Do you ever think about it?" he asked, thoughtful. "The ocean, I mean. How ancient it is, and how it'll outlive us despite that?" It sounded bleak at first, and he quickly amended. "Like it's nice to know that some things in life are permanent, when others aren't?"

[Noctua 0]

There was a slight nod before she sat down, pulling her legs to her chest. It's funny how one large body of water could be a potential healer for multiple people. "Thank you," she looked back at him after a moment and thought about things. She liked to come to the beach to be alone, but what if meeting someone who might just be able to make her see a different output on things was good? She doubted that honestly, she doubted that anyone was going to be able to help her at this point. She screwed everything up, and she would have to live with that.

"Knowing that some things will be there for the future, it's kind of nice. It reminds me of mythology, it originated from so long ago, but it's still around now." Maybe when the game was beaten, and if she was still alive, she should go to school for mythology, she'd probably excel at it with how she already seems to be obsessed with it. She looked back over to the water, wondering what it might feel like to actually go and touch the water in the game.

She sighed lightly, trying hard to not pick at her nails or fiddle with the ring on her finger. She had hoped that just smelling the saltwater would start to make the pain and heartache go away, but that was far from what was happening at this point. "If I stumbled upon a session of meditation or something, I do apologize." She was constantly the nice person, never seemed to be a mean bone in her body, in real life or in game. Funny how things worked like that right.

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

Alkor smiled when she said that. There weren't many people who related things back to ancient history, or to the seemingly unimportant, fictional deties, creatures, and people that the people in those civilizations used to explain or justify things beyond their understanding. At least, he hadn't met many of then in Aincrad. "Exactly like that," Alkor agreed emphatically. 

Just like the sea contained memory from everything it touched, written and oral history kept pieces of all the people that influenced it. Children's stories and urban legend alike transcended over time into folklore. Gods lost their divinity to become elemental concepts, and all of those things gave insight into the thoughts, emotions, and circumstances of the times in which they were conceived. In some small way, the Aincrad incident would live on in history, and all the people who played a part in the myth would tell its story.

"Every time we experience something, we relate it somehow," he said, "and we explain it back in our own words. In a million years, that'll be primitive to a distant civilization." Alkor gave a lighthearted laugh as he glanced over at Noctua. She sighed; and in Alkor's experience, that was a body's nonverbal cue that it had a lot going on. He understood that.

"...nah, nothing like that," he said after a moment of just listening to the water ebb and flow. "Just sorting things out in my head. I'm kind of a mess, and get stuck in my thoughts a lot. I think I was starting to obsess again, so I'm actually glad to have someone to talk to."

[Noctua 0]

At least she could make someone smile, if she couldn't smile, at least she could make someone else smile instead. "Sometimes, a distant civilization can be a good thing to learn from. We see the past, and the smart can learn from it, or at least, so I like to hope." She always wondered if the ones who refused to learn from the past did so on purpose. Could the want to purposely make sure that things don't get fixed? These were the kind of thoughts that used to keep her awake at night, but not anymore.

She gave a curt nod, "I know the sorting of thoughts thing. But, perhaps I can help you with your thoughts? I might not be able to give advice, but I can possibly help you think through things." She gave Alkor the offer with a soft look on her face. It couldn't be called a smile, because there definitely wasn't one of those on her face. She knew that she wasn't in the best of mindsets to talk about things, but she was always willing to listen to someone else.

She was too kind-hearted to let someone be without someone to talk to. "Of course, I know that I'm a stranger, so you don't have to if it's uncomfortable." She looked at Alkor for a moment before looking back at the water. She soon placed her chin on her knees as she waited to see if he was willing to talk to her or not.

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

It was funny how often people did end up repeating mistakes that happened in the past. For all the Val that they saw in historical evidence and content, they seldom utilized the knowledge for their own benefit. Progress that wiped away the past was favorable to tradition when the two came to blows. It felt like the woman sitting near him now knew that, or at least, sympathized with it. He had to laugh to himself at the words she chose though. 'The Smart,' huh?

"Not even the smart ones seem to learn," he said quietly as he stared down at the endless grains of sand that sifted into the tide and were dragged away in an equally endless cycle. Even that detail seemed real in augmented reality. He glanced up when she offered to help him. Perhaps she didn't think it was evident that she was struggling with something, too? Fidgeting, soft voice, inability to smile- these were all things Alkor knew exceptionally well. These were his own symptoms.

"Ahhh..." he considered for a moment. It could have been a chance to unload some heavy weight, but at what cost? This woman he didn't know could be a convenient scapegoat. A rock in the river of life, something to hold on to. But even rocks eroded under a constant current, gradually. If he took her help now to save himself, he would be ignoring her suffering. That wasn't something Alkor could do, now. Not ever again. "No, no, that's fine, I do appreciate the offer," he told her.

In much the same way, he knew that he couldn't make the same offer. At times, people weren't strong enough to take on the burdens of others. It would be unfair of him to make that judgment for her own well-being only to sabotage himself.  Instead, he did what he could do.

"Actually, it's nice to just talk to someone," he said, "not necessarily about anything. Maybe its even better when it isn't about anything in particular. So there's no expectations, nothing heavy. No one has to do any lifting, and some of the stress just melts away. You know? Everything in this world is so damned heavy without us adding to the load. Might as well make the most of the little things."

It surprised him when he heard those words come out of his mouth. He was starting to sound more like Lessa and less like the person he was before Sword Art Online. Maybe the people he'd met here had been a positive influence on him.

[Noctua 0]

"Alright, you have me there. Even the smart have a hard time learning from past mistakes." A part of her wanted to yell at her stating that she should understand this, that she needed to learn, but, she was content with just beating that part back down to the depths of her anger and heartache. That was where it belonged really. He didn't want to talk about the things that he came to think about, and honestly, that was possibly best with how her mindset currently was. But, even just hearing someone else's voice seemed to be keeping her grounded, so that was a good thing, right?

"The offer stands for however long you can suffer my company." She kept her gaze on the ocean, her fingers interlacing with one another, holding her knees as close to her body as humanly possible. She could almost be seen like a little kid who was trying to hide by doing this, but in reality, for her, it felt safe. She was small, at least smaller than she already was, so that meant that she was a smaller target. This had been how she stayed out of the sight of bullies as a kid, of course it stopped being useful as she got older, but it was still a sort of relaxer for her.

She turned her head, her chin still staying on her knees, to look at Alkor. He had a point, just by talking to him about mindless things, it was helping her mind relax a little, but she knew her mind, it wasn't going to stay that way. "I've never been one for talking to people about random things, shy by nature. But, I can agree with that sentiment, this has been helping me feel like there are fewer things to worry about in my mind." Anyone who knew her would be able to hear the mental 'for now' that was at the end of that statement, but, thankfully, Alkor didn't know her well enough for that.

"When you would come to the beach, did it ever feel like the ocean could just sweep your problems away?" As she asked this question, her gaze seemed to focus back to the flowing ocean. It was calming to look at, and she wondered if it was possible to just stand in the water to let her problems just... wash away with the waves.

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

"Suffer? You make it sound like being around you is just a chore," he said as he leaned back against the mass of rocks where he'd originally taken shelter. "As far as I'm concerned, I haven't had any reason to feel that way about it." It could have been a been-confidence issue. Noctua had claimed to be a shy person, all told. He wouldn't read that far into it, since this was the first time they had met.

"I've never really been the type to talk about my own problems, either," he explained, "or at all, honestly. It just kind of... happens." There wasn't a good way to describe progression on a social level. Not for an introvert, at least.  He learned to present himself differently out of necessity; but at the end of the day, parroting an outgoing person could get exhausting. He'd learned that the hard way.

But in life, comfort zones prevent one from moving forward. To grow, Alkor had to break a lifelong cycle of loneliness and solitude. Maybe this woman was struggling with a similar issue, or maybe her problems stemmed from something else entirely. 

Curiosity came with respecting a person's privacy. He didn't need to know more, but his mind reflexively tried to piece things together. He shook his head.

"When I was a kid, I thought things worked that way. I guess back then, all of my problems were simple, and they worked themselves out with little effort on my part. It was easy to make that generalization because I associate the ocean with a lot of positive memories." He answered he question thoughtfully, then added to it, "but as things got a bit more complex, and problems started being less linear and more convoluted, and the answers started to require more effort... or there were no answers... I started to realize that the Ocean was perfect for a break. Sometimes a person can't handle everything they're dealing with, no matter how good they get at being on their own and struggling alone."

He closed his eyes and thought of his family, and how it was they might feel right now. He never really had much agency to care before. With his arms crossed now, he glanced down to the woman sitting nearby. 

"Its kind of like any other distraction," he summarized. "Some of them are better than others, and it really depends on the person."

[Noctua 0]

"That's because that's how people have made it feel lately," but he did have a point, he wasn't trying to shy away from talking to her, and he seemed to not mind her company. Perhaps she shouldn't be so hard on herself. Alright, so that was easily said than done right now, and she knew it, "But, I'm glad to know that someone doesn't feel that way. Makes living in this game just a little easier." And doesn't make her feel like she should just empty her friends list and go hide in her inn room until the front lines have cleared the game. She was quite content with being called lazy or anything like that if it meant that she wasn't going to die. It wasn't like she actually had someone to keep safe anymore after all.

So, he had the same kind of troubles talking like she did, that made her feel a little better. It made her feel like she wasn't currently being a bother, though, who knows, her mind could still tell her that she is. Goddess knows that is what the look that Koga had given her made her feel like. "That's how talking is for me too. Over the years, I just learned not to talk to others because my accent would always be made fun of." Now, there might come some kind of confusion at that remark, because she was currently hiding her accent. She had also learned that most people couldn't understand her sometimes when she let the French accent out, because not a lot of people could listen through it. Hiding it had always been easier, much like hiding herself.

"When my family moved away from the beach, my escape had becoming reading. Mainly things about Greek mythology, or just something that could help the escape from reality a little better." There was oh so much more that could go with that statement, but she didn't. Mainly because only one person knew how her mind and her memory worked, and she kind of wanted to keep it that way right now. No one else needed to know that she could remember everything that she's ever read or heard. As she stared at the ocean, one thought did come to mind though, why did things have to be so difficult no matter how good or nice someone was? "Have you ever wondered why the bad things happen to those who don't deserve it? Like for instance, many of us stuck in here more than likely don't deserve this, but here we all are anyways."

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

People had made fun of her accent? He blinked slowly, then realized that she had probably learned to hide it. The practice suddenly didn't seem as uncommon as he used to think it was. He didn't ask, because people who felt that way generally weren't inclined to talk too much about the origins of those feelings. He completely understood it, though. Growing up in the American South, the accent that was prevalent a hundred years ago had been relegated to significance of racism and systemic hatred. Now everyone bleached the way they spoke in the community where he grew up. "Yeah," he spoke softly at those words that hit close to home. "It's so strange how people can place negative stigmas on the sound of someone's voice. Don't they have bigger things to worry about?"

They both knew that no one did. Or at least, if they did, they didn't care. Horrible people were never going to change, even if society turned against them. Inevitably, they would find new ways to be horrible. It was a prevailing factor in his becoming a shut in. "On second thought, don't answer that. Stupid question."

When the topic shifted to Mythology, he straightened his back a bit. Anything related to History was like a drug for Alkor, to the point where he became attentive, even excited. He hid it carefully as she spoke, measuring his response. Too much excitement could come off as strange or gross. He took a deep breath and decided not to engage it directly, because it was more of a statement. He understood Noctua a bit better hearing it. People who placed emotional investment into thoughts, ideas, spiritualism- these were the people who rejected society and looked for validation in the occult or things that were generally rejected by the mainstream.

Then, she asked the question that started every revolution of independent thought. Throughout History, there had been a vast number of religions. Some lived, most died, others thrived by consuming the belief systems of the ones they dwarfed. Eventually, ancient and forgotten traditions hid in plain sight- the festival of Saturnalia lauded as the birth of an infant, for example. "I think everyone has that thought at some point or another in their life," he answered honestly. "It's one of those defining moments that shapes people. When you're brought up in the Church like I was, you're taught that sin exists in the world because Man was allotted free will, and it is because of sin that man suffers. It's inherently a self-hating doctrine, but Christianity likes that duplicitous garbage. God loves you, but you have to hate yourself and seek to annihilate your humanity in order to go to heaven." His venomous disdain for the Christian church bled through often when it came up. He had to stifle it, suppress the rage that came with the dogmatic views. If God rewarded those people who believed in devoutly...

No. That was too dark of a thought to follow. There was no reason to stew in that thought anymore.

Alkor drew a deep breath and exhaled the toxicity that had latched on. "Yeah, I wonder that all the time," he answered, more directly now. "And what I gather is that there are forces beyond our control at work, some good, some evil, some indifferent. There's power in things, in places, in people," he said. "And either you fight, or you run away. Both paths are valid though. No two people are the same."

[Noctua 0]

That did it, that got her to crack a small smile, only for it to be gone a moment later. If Alkor hadn't been watching her, he wouldn't have seen it. "You'd figure that would have bigger problems. Like me, I wanted to go to school for Mythology, either become a professor or just a major nerd in it." She felt a little more normal talking about these things, all because it was relaxing to her. She almost felt like she could just spend the time here talking about it, but as she did that at the same time, it made her want to go back to the seventeenth floor. Not only that, but she hadn't been there in a year, and for a very good reason.

But now, she wanted to go, because it would be nice, hopefully. Maybe later. "My love for Greek Mythology has been the reason why I frequent the seventeenth floor so much, it's like being able to live in the books that I've spent so long reading over and over. It's even where I planned mine and Ko- ..." She stopped there and shook her head, "Sorry, that might be too much information." She instead let him talk, and she could not only hear, but felt the disdain for the Christian church.

This caused her to look at him and watch him for a moment, "My family traveled a lot for my dad's job. I've met many of different religions, and honestly, Christianity was the one that confused me the most sometimes. But, the biggest thing that I've seen is that those who follow the path that they want to, are happier." She shrugged a little, not knowing how to really turn her words into valuable advice, but perhaps Alkor could catch some from what she said? She honestly knew that she couldn't, and she said the words.

"What if there is a third path? The path of someone who wants to help and fight, but is just too scared to do so?" Or too broken.

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

"Maybe you should then," he said encouragingly, "make it your goal once you're out of here, put all your focus into studying it and making a career out of it. Give yourself something to look forward to," he said as he considered his own dream. Much smaller, much less significant, but still valid to him personally. Everyone held on for different reasons, all their own.

When she stopped herself, she was talking about planning something. Her and someone else's... wedding? It almost sounded like that, but he didn't want to make any assumptions. Instead, he spared a long glance toward the woman, then let the conversation flow back naturally. There was no reason to put pressure on her. 

"Everything you're telling me makes me think that might be the best choice for you," he said. "But only you can be the judge of that."

When she asked about a third path, Alkor got what she meant. Indecision. "What you're saying is that you're not ready to make a choice," he said. "People grow in stages. No two people move at the same speed, and where I'm just about ready to join the Frontlines again, you're not quite there yet. And there isn't anything wrong with that. You're not less of a person because of how much or how little you contribute," he explained.

Alkor crouched and slowly stretched his legs out in the sand. Once he was seated, he rested both hands behind his head. "Its okay to not be able to make up your mind," he said. "Hell, it's even okay to be wrong. The important thing is what you learn from those experiences, and how you move forward from them. Don't worry about taking the time you need to piece together the puzzle that is life- you only get one shot at it, so if anything, rushing into anything is the worst thing you can do."

[Noctua 0]

He had a point, even if things worked out between her and Koga, or they didn't, she should still be able to do what it was that she loved to do, right? Be able to study and learn everything that she possibly can about Greek mythology, perhaps even learn about other mythologies as well. The Romans weren't that far off from the Greek's, were they? That was something that she would have to figure out once this game was done and over with. She knew one thing though, she wasn't touching another game after this.

"I think I just might, and even learn about the other cultural mythologies that there were as well. I want to know if people think the same things, but just with different cultures, y'know?" She sighed soon enough though and thought, she had already made her choice for the frontlines before. But, she didn't know if she should do that now since... well things went down a dark abyss. "Les décisions sont difficiles," the words (decisions are hard) were muttered lowly in her native language, French.

If Alkor heard them, it was unknown to her at the moment, but she looked at him. "I made the choice once before, but it was to follow my... I guess now ex-fiance, to the frontlines, to keep him safe. But now, I don't know if I want to be up there, I've never been huge on fighting, and with this being the first game that I've ever touched, it hasn't made things any easier." Her gaze flicked to the ring that she wore before she looked at the ocean once more. "Life used to be so easy y'know? My dad would get a new job, and we would just move countries. Never stay in one place for too long, never take the chance of getting attached to someone else."

Talk about commitment issues.

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

Ex-fiancé. So he was right, she was talking about a relationship issue. Alkor looked out over the water without any change in expression, enjoying the breeze. The seasons in Aincrad changed, even on floors like this. It was cooler in the night than the day, but the breeze was far from cold. Summer had come and gone, and now they were in as bitter a Winter as Floor 24 could muster. Just like home. The line blurred once more.

"You won't be too surprised to find a lot of overlap," he explained, "or shouldn't at least. The earliest known belief systems sought to explain the things beyond their limited understanding with the supernatural." He smiled softly. "The Romans for instance, took and nationalized much of the Greek religion. The Romans appropriated a number of beliefs over time, actually. Like the Emperor Constantine, who was Christian and inevitably adopted Catholicism as the state religion, leaving behind the old gods but not rejecting much of the mentality that went into their creation."

History was fascinating to him. Cultures, time periods, and how everything inevitably blended together. "Thats tangential, I apologize. I get pretty excited about things like that." Alkor took a moment to consider her words. "Honestly, you don't have to fight to be helpful. There's plenty of need for other things. No one is unimportant, down to the Info Brokers."

He gestured toward her. "You have to find what works for you."

When Noctua mentioned moving around and how easy it was to evade problems, he could see himself in that. Or, he saw the Alkor he used to be. Afraid. Distant. Aloof. Like precious glass, easy to shatter. He turned to look at her with a bit more stern of a gaze as he thought of what words to say. He didn't want to come off as blunt as he normally would. He knew how he would have reacted. 

Instead, he opted for something different.

"Running away is nice," he said. "And it's easy. But it also comes with regrets." He scratched at his head, then found what he wanted to say. "A choice always has consequences. There will be people who felt more strongly than you did, who will judge you because they stood fast and you buckled. There will also be people like you, who ran. A story always has two sides."

Alkor shrugged. "But you don't know the real story unless you have both sides. It's not about which side is the right one. Thing is, there's always going to be fear. There's always going to be strength. And just because you're afraid right now doesn't mean you won't be strong eventually. People grow, and they change. And the thing about consequences is, they shape us. Failure is one of the biggest motivators. You learn more from losing once than you do from winning a hundred times. So, Noctua, whatever you're running from- it'll eventually catch up to you, and when it does, you'll use everything you've learned to confront it.

And that's when you'll decide what kind of person you want to be."

[Noctua 0]

Thankfully, he didn't try to keep the topic on her failed relationship. She listened to him talk about cultures and what could overlap and where, and it made her think a little. If that was the case, then she should have a really easy time learning all of it. But then, her memory made it easy to remember things anyways, and she considered it a curse right now. "That's nice to know really, might just make it easier for me to be able to learn all about the different mythologies."

She shook her head soon enough though, a simple dismissal of his apology, "Don't be sorry, it's not often I find someone passionate enough to talk about something now days." She found it kind of nice, just another way for them all to escape the current reality that they were in. It was funny to her how that can sometimes happen. Reality sucks, so what do you do? Dismiss it by talking about something that you like to talk about, that was life's greatest distraction in her mind.

"I used to think that just having my shop made me feel a bit more useful. But right now, I can't go in, and I don't want to move it. Hope for the future and all of that." She looked at him, almost feeling like she was being scolded, without the actual scolding. In reality, she knew it was something that she needed to hear, but wanting to hear it was something that she didn't want to actually do. A story has two sides. That was the one part that seemed to stick in her mind, but her story didn't have two sides, just one, the one where she messed up.

"I... I don't know if I want what I'm running from to catch up to me. It's hurt me twice now, and... I don't know if no matter how much I want it, a third chance of being hurt is worth it." Hopefully, that was vague enough to not be meant about a person. But, knowing her hard time with words, it was possible that it could be easily caught onto.

@Alkor

[Alkor 0]

"Mmmmm..." Alkor had absolutely no experience with love and feelings in a romantic sense whatsoever. Those sorts of things were probably beyond the scope of his ability to advise on, but what he did have plenty of experience in was bad encounters and being hurt. He'd also learned the importance of knowing his own limits, and learning when to take a step back. That was what she was doing now, wasn't it?

She took the space she needed, and now she was sorting through her thoughts. When she laid them out plain, he started to piece things together a bit better. "At that point, you've got a conflict of interests," Alkor said. "I don't know much about love, not more than my grandma's told me, but I think some of her wisdom applies here. See, love isn't self-serving. Not the romantic kind of love anyway. There's all different types and it can get pretty confusing."

He scratched his chin. "Honestly I think that's why I don't really feel that way about anyone. When she told me that, I realized that there's probably nobody out there I'd be willing to compromise on hurting for. It takes a strong heart to love somebody."

He'd gotten stronger, but something told him he wouldn't ever be that strong. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he wasn't. This wasn't about him.

"I'm not gonna try to say you don't feel that way," he told her, "maybe you do, and you're just not strong enough yet to do it the way you want to." Alkor finally glanced her way at that point. "But you should ask yourself what's more important to you. That feeling of pain, or the thing that's causing it."

He watched for a moment before he closed his eyes again.

"Honestly, either way, I'm sorry." Regardless of whether it was for a good cause, he hated to see people suffering. 

[Noctua 0]

She had just sat there, listening to him, taking in each word that he said, and before he had even finished talking, tears had started to quietly roll down her cheeks. She didn't look at Alkor, this was a weakness to her, something that was fodder for her being the target of attention to be made fun of or just anything that someone could or would think of.

"I saw him today, and he didn't look like himself. It hurt to see basically a husk of the man that I would have done anything for. The man that I gave my heart and soul to." Her words were soft again, mainly to try and keep from breaking from the crying that she was attempting to fully not break into. She pulled her knees closer to her chest at this point, and just listened to the ocean, listened to the calm waves hitting the shoreline.

"I want to fix what's wrong with us, but, seeing him how I did, it broke something in me. I don't know what though. I've never actually felt like this before. Moving around so much before, I've never had a relationship...." She had to stop there as she quietly started to clean her face of the tears. She had that stinging sensation in her eyes though, the very sensation that told her that she wasn't done crying, and honestly, she wanted to be alone if she was to start fully crying.

But she couldn't exactly get up. Instead, she just locked the feelings up as best as she could, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be burdening you with things, thank you though, it's been a while since I've been able to talk to someone." She still hadn't turned to look at him, for all she knew, she could still be crying, or it was just because she was too embarrassed to look at him. Only Koga's seen her cry after all.

@Alkor