[F14-PP] a wish your heart makes.

[NIGHT 0]

there was this understanding that while the people who wore black weren't necessarily edgelords, the inverse was usually true -- that most edgelords usually wore the darkest colours, and if there were one that was darker than black, they'd switch to it within a heartbeat.

in watching koga clam up, spit in her vicinity and turn to the mountains thereafter, night realized that koga was one of those people. it was a start, but it begged her consider what other titles she could've assigned to the man in question.

a poor 'gamerbro' should've been one of them. what dolt played through video games without understanding the message of the art behind it?

blade in her hand, she tore through the assailants scattered in his path. she wasn't going to risk striking her friend on accident, but she was certain her aim would be true, knocking the threats out of existence. they shattered, littering the man's feet with specks of light, each blast from before only barely grazing his form.

"'escapism' my foot," night shot back. "go live a life of hedonism if you so wanted to establish your life as a counterfeit. cardinal's given you all you could wish for in that department. and if you so wanted to play hero, you could've done so without the part of the front."

"you think there's an irony in calling day unreal and yet caring for her -- then practice what you preach, fucking dumbass. you say you don't want to leave the game, staking it for everyone else's sake, then aid everyone you meet in improving themselves and cutting your time out of aincrad. where's the rationale in that?"

and if she seared, it was in defense of her favourite medium. "plus, what kind of shitty games have you been playing in the first place?! call of duty? what, you've never touched fucking undertale before?! never took a second glance at mario nor sonic?! 'escapism' my foot; either you were there blindfolded or you'd never played games at all."

Spoiler

> POST ACTION: AOE-I

with acc5 + abs acc, bd1 + 5 = 6. bd unnecessary, but stated for verification.

ID206406 | bd5 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #008 
ID206405 | bd9 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #007 
ID206404 | bd4 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #006 
ID206403 | bd4 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #005 

-15 -(2*4) +2 = -21 EN
26 * 15 = 390 DMG

---

Fallen Red Cloak #005 ~ #008 | HP: 0/390 | DMG: 192

NIGHT | HP: 960/960 | EN: 113/134 | DMG: 26 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | LD: 14 | QTY: 2 | PROSP: 4 | BH: 52

 

[Koga 0]

"Oh, don't fucking patronize me, NIGHT," Koga fired back, turning back around to watch as she dispatched some more stray mobs. "What, do you really think I could just watch on the sidelines, content with some fucking fantasy that I know is just gonna crumble to dust one day while everyone else is trying to fight for each other and get out? I couldn't look myself in the fucking mirror if I did that, what I want be damned."

If the whole conversation, if it could even be called that at this point, hadn't made Koga seethe with anger, the last few accusations had. What was supposed to have been a hypothetical discussion, sharing outlooks, had somehow degraded into some conflict of morality.

"What you don't seem to get is that this is still real to me," Koga said gesturing around them, the whole of Aincrad, "even if it's in the barest sense. I'm not gonna pretend that it's not, I'm here living and breathing it, just like you. I care about it. But I still get that it's gotta go. I'm not gonna lie to myself and say it doesn't or make up some bullshit rationalization that its fake and that makes it all okay. This is our reality NIGHT. And for me, it's gonna be a shitty day when it all goes away."

"But DAY? Are you kidding? You're trying to tell yourself she's not real, 'cause why? 'Cause it'll make it hurt less, or make it easier, what? I don't see the logic there, or maybe I'm just missing something else entirely, but she seems plenty real to me. What, to you, makes her unreal?"

"Oh, and don't start getting all high and mighty on me about what games I played, or what the message is. Please, you don't think I'm that dense, do you? I get all that, it's fucking why I wanted to make games in the first place. Because I wanted to believe that there was more to life, that it really could be better. And even if it wasn't I wanted to at least put something out there that could help make it better."

[NIGHT 0]

"oh, poor you, with your heavy heart of gold." what kind of appeal was that? it sounded like koga was playing the victim, sat in the center of everyone's reality while he wanted to play pretend. "it must be so hard to enjoy yourself while children out there are starving in africa. come on. the world isn't getting any better from your misery. and it wasn't as though you weren't already the type of person to do that; escapism."

blade drawn, exiles slain. and koga continued speaking about their reality, of aincrad. night understood herself taking the game as seriously as anyone else -- hell, she'd argue even more than broody emo man over there, having to spill loot from the nearby targets. but when that was challenged -- all because she continued to keep a level head despite the fantasy, the only thing she could summon back was rage.

"i'd already told you." there was nothing to elaborate on further. "or did you happen to be born deaf, too? don't tell me you're the type of person to forget what's been said in an argument, because if you are, there's no point in me speaking to you when what i'm saying isn't what you want to hear."

"Oh, and don't start getting all high and mighty on me about what games I played, or what the message is. Please, you don't think I'm that dense, do you?"

"well, you sure fucking seem like it. what, was i mistaken?"

"I get all that, it's fucking why I wanted to make games in the first place. Because I wanted to believe that there was more to life, that it really could be better. And even if it wasn't I wanted to at least put something out there that could help make it better."

shattered fragments, loosened bones. "so past tense?" night threw her head to the side, grimacing. "then you seem to need a refresher. obviously, what you'd looked at doesn't seem to be staying long enough for you to remember what the point of being here is."

"so what's your problem? i'd already gave you a bunch of solutions to your arguments, and still you seem dissatisfied. did i get it wrong? you can't get your knockers off in a video game just because you feel so guilty about wanting to stay in than get out, that you'd prefer to die in it? are you done?"

Spoiler

> POST ACTION: AOE-I

with acc5 + abs acc, bd1 + 5 = 6. bd unnecessary, but stated for verification.

ID206410 | bd1 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #0012 
ID206409 | bd7 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #0011 
ID206408 | bd7 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #0010 
ID206407 | bd6 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #009 

-15 -(2*4) +2+4 = -17 EN
26 * 15 = 390 DMG

---

Fallen Red Cloak #009 ~ #012 | HP: 0/390 | DMG: 192

NIGHT | HP: 960/960 | EN: 96/134 | DMG: 26 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | LD: 14 | QTY: 2 | PROSP: 4 | BH: 52

 

[Koga 0]

"Oh, sweet fucking baby Jesus Christ," Koga sighed aloud, more exasperated at this point than anything else. "Will you quit it with the name-calling and shit? For someone who keeps calling me a child, you sure do seem to like acting like one too," Koga said, anger just giving way to annoyance. He was tiring of this.

"I came here to ask you a question, NIGHT, and get your feedback. Clearly you do not agree with me. I'm not asking you for solutions, or to give me the answers to life. Or god forbid, 'say what I want to hear,' as you put it." Koga crossed his arms and stole a glance behind NIGHT, gauging the time they had before the next group of wandering undead encroached upon their little battlefield. "'Life is not better in Aincrad.' Fine, message received," he stated as his eyes drifted back to hers. "But you obviously have a problem with the fact that I feel otherwise. So yes, I'd say I'm done here." Koga's weapon reappeared at his side as his hands shifted to his pockets. "Unless, that is, you feel like punching me again. Ya know, get your righteous retribution or whatever the fuck it is."

[NIGHT 0]

"better to have hit you, and now, than anyone else i'd have this talk with."

and if night glowered at him, it was after decimating another few undead, sinking the tip of her blade into the soil. for as someone who knew the same pain of loss-- the same origin, she'd expected him to have taken the subject matter better. and obviously koga hadn't, nor didn't. her chin rested on the back of her hands, head tilted, eyes narrowed.

it was as though they'd never had that talk in his house. never shared dinner together. never mulled over the past over the field of beginnings while other players gossiped and stared. and night was beginning to wonder what the point of trying even was.

"but if don't see the point in it, then go," she spat. "take your pride and your consumables and leave. it's not like i wouldn't put it past us tomorrow morning, anyway. if you cared so much about aincrad, why don't you go marry it and send an invite back?"

the player turned away, growling something dark under her breath. fingers clenching that pommel in agitation. a quiet "fuck," when she swore she had none to give.

Spoiler

> POST ACTION: AOE-I

with acc5 + abs acc, bd1 + 5 = 6. bd unnecessary, but stated for verification.

ID206414 | bd10 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #0016 
ID206413 | bd8 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #0015 
ID206412 | bd4 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #0014 
ID206411 | bd1 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #0013 

-15 -(2*4) +2+4 = -17 EN
26 * 15 = 390 DMG

---

Fallen Red Cloak #0013 ~ #0016 | HP: 0/390 | DMG: 192

NIGHT | HP: 960/960 | EN: 79/134 | DMG: 26 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | LD: 14 | QTY: 2 | PROSP: 4 | BH: 52

 

[Koga 0]

"better to have hit you, and now, than anyone else i'd have this talk with."

Oh. Lovely. He'd been demoted all the way down to punching bag now. Way to add insult to injury. A small twitch of Koga's jaw was all that hinted at the errant thought, as pointless and off-topic as it could've been.

Not that it served as any form of distraction from the immense amount of annoyance as NIGHT just couldn't seem to figure out how to shut up for once. Normally, it was the other way around between the two of them. It was a struggle getting more than two sentences out of NIGHT, but now he was lucky if that was all he got.

"Make up your mind, NIGHT. Am I feeling guilty, or am I just brimming with pride?" Koga said over the unheard curse. it came out almost on impulse. This wasn't worth the venom he was about to incur, but at this point, how much worse could it get? He'd have been lying if he'd said this conversation hadn't left him feeling wounded. Less so because of their differences, but more so for how viciously NIGHT was willing to dig into him. How vicious they were both willing to be.

[NIGHT 0]

she picked up her blade just because there were more lowlifes clustering around their position. as though attracted to bad blood and vitriol. her gaze was chilling, void of fondness, dead set on her friend despite, in that moment, how much she'd wanted to look away. to get away from here.

"i don't know, koga. why don't you tell me?" night raised her jaw. "because if i had anything to say about it, you sure look proud of the fact that you feel guilty -- and nothing i've been putting out for you has been able to get through that thick skull of yours."

the player drew up three fingers. "too proud to comprehend. to proud to make a change. and too proud to decide on what you actually want out of your experience in here. if after all of that, you want misery to eat you alive, then it's because you don't get it. and i wouldn't be surprised."

her anger manifested in one hard lash towards the incoming targets, battering their forms fragile to bits.

Spoiler

> POST ACTION: AOE-I

with acc5 + abs acc, bd1 + 5 = 6. bd unnecessary, but stated for verification.

ID206418 | bd7 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #020 
ID206417 | bd7 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #019 
ID206416 | bd4 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #018 
ID206415 | bd5 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #017 

-15 -(2*4) +2+4 = -17 EN
26 * 15 = 390 DMG

---

Fallen Red Cloak #017 ~ #020 | HP: 0/390 | DMG: 192

NIGHT | HP: 960/960 | EN: 62/134 | DMG: 26 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | LD: 14 | QTY: 2 | PROSP: 4 | BH: 52

 

[Koga 0]

It wasn't anger or annoyance Koga felt at the growing pile of insults and accusations. Instead, it was surprise. It really did seem as if he was a stranger to NIGHT. And likewise, she was just as much a stranger to him. "I can't pretend that I understand half of what you're saying anymore. In fact, I think we're reading different books at this point. And its not pride that keeps me from changing. I'd love to see you try and change your entire outlook on life in a day." Exhaustion crept into his voice, despite the fact that the man had stopped dealing with the witless mobs that kept charging at NIGHT's perilous blade. "And I've always known what I wanted from Aincrad. The right or wrongness of that desire doesn't inflict any guilt in me." What reason was there to feel guilty over desires? "It's not pride, or guilt that's got me, NIGHT," Koga clarified for the woman, his voice even and steady despite the scowl that had made it's way to his face. "Its desperation."

Was that difficult to comprehend?

"I want, so fucking desperately, to believe that there's something out in the real world worth living for. But I can't see it. I mean, pardon me if I'm wrong, but getting trapped in a fucking death game doesn't exactly give us a lotta reasons to believe that the real world is a good place."

[NIGHT 0]

desperation.

"no, of course not."

in times of one's despair, that was the point they could get to. the sinking into somewhere deep, a dark abyss, and still it was human will to struggle and fight on. the reason why she picked up that blade in the first place. the reason why the players continued against a tower, that unfair fight, in a world that was cold and cruel to them. inside, and out.

desperation. it did night right to lock in that word in her mind, for her friend's sake, if not her own. and she wondered how long koga had been thinking about it. wondered how long she'd learned how to get by without.

it must've been the reason why koga did as others asked of him, rather than what he'd wanted for himself. that, in the light of others' wills, perhaps one day he might see the joy that everyone else had been capturing, but he couldn't. the small sparks of life. the fleeting moments of happiness. the little details.

in that light, night had completely forgotten how long it had taken her to change.

"--getting trapped in a fucking death game doesn't exactly give us a lotta reasons to believe that the real world is a good place."

"definitely not."

she held her blade and let it scatter the rabble. they fell, as they often did. she turned to him, in recollection of that response.

"but it's a start," the player believed, exhaling that heavy breath, as the pieces fell into place for the man. the rationale behind that christmas party, though it had been forced. why koga would've hung onto noctua, despite the outcome that they'd ended up lost. why they were still here, arguing, even after night had bid him walk away.

within the human spirit, there was that inch undying, ever flinching, that decided on occasion -- 'what if?' that miniscule thread of hope, barely reachable, barely tethered that lead to strings of fate of others intertwined.

why koga had returned from his solitude despite having decided to vanish in the first place.

"it's a start," night reiterated, her blade set into the earth once again. "the consequences are lessened in games like these. and aincrad is a sandbox -- there are many things you could see, and try, and feel and do. that, there are many reasons to life to appreciate, and however our progress goes --" (they knew it was at a turtle's pace.) "-- cardinal is giving you this chance to find out what they are, and why. before you get out of here."

so her head drifted again, arched backwards with a frown. that was why she couldn't comprehend koga's position -- that despite the obvious struggle, that will to hold on, he decided the better option, the better route of progress was to squander the opportunity he'd been given. it wasn't productive. wasn't efficient.

so she stared, solemn. "what's stopping you, then?" night finally asked. "to take on the adventure, despite us players being called one every which way we go?"

Spoiler

> POST ACTION: AOE-I

with acc5 + abs acc, bd1 + 5 = 6. bd unnecessary, but stated for verification.

ID206483 | bd10 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #024 
ID206482 | bd9 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #023 
ID206481 | bd1 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #022 
ID206480 | bd2 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #021 

-15 -(2*4) +2+4 = -17 EN
26 * 15 = 390 DMG

---

Fallen Red Cloak #021 ~ #024 | HP: 0/390 | DMG: 192

NIGHT | HP: 960/960 | EN: 45/134 | DMG: 26 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | LD: 14 | QTY: 2 | PROSP: 4 | BH: 52

 

[Koga 0]

Watching NIGHT momentarily deflate as suddenly all the pieces fit together for NIGHT, Koga wasn't sure if he was relieved or just glad that they weren't shouting at each other like they were going to stab each other anymore. Although, that in an of itself was a relief, due to the fact that if NIGHT stabbed him, he would probably be joining all those mobs she'd spent the better part of thirty minutes blowing up.

All the fervor and zeal were gone from her as she quietly, but firmly responded to him. The motion of her blade less frenetic, murderous intent seemingly having sublimated from the blade itself, despite it's work being done.

Sadly, as NIGHT went on, whatever it was she was saying seemed lost on Koga. His head turned to the side ever so slightly. 

"the consequences are lessened in games like these."

Sensing that the immediate danger of being made a foot shorter had passed, he felt safe to give her a questioning squint of the eyes. He didn't interrupt her though, trusting that she'd somehow make it all make sense to him by the end.

"there are many things you could see, and try, and feel and do. that, there are many reasons to life to appreciate, and however our progress goes cardinal is giving you this chance to find out what they are, and why. before you get out of here."

A moment's pause before Koga could no longer restrain his sarcasm. "You...are aware that Cardinal is also ninety percent of the reason I've lost all the things in my life I've appreciated, right?"

"...Sorry..." Maybe the sarcasm still wasn't a great option given their conversation.

"I thought that's what I'd been doing with you," Koga answered honestly, a bit of a confused look on his face, when posed with NIGHT's question. "Well you and others. I do in fact get out of the house every once in a while." Koga's thoughts drifted to his recent adventures, quests, even the more mundane things that he'd come to take note of. "I mean, as much as I try, I can't really avoid meeting people every once in a while...and, I guess, I'm getting a bit more out of life than I used to, thanks to that."

[NIGHT 0]

"You...are aware that Cardinal is also ninety percent of the reason I've lost all the things in my life I've appreciated, right?"

 

"--sorry?"
"...Sorry..."

"... no, i didn't," night realized. and the thought about not having known about koga enough despite having known him for quite the while sank in. again. for it had happened once when they were in srona, looking for herbs. now it stuck to her memory faster. the player's eyes were cast downwards, expression agitated, as she brought up her blade to swing it again.

(strange. she should've just kept her blade out of the ground, by now.)

night let koga explain his position. being taken away to handle life outside of his periphery. a distraction away from his current world view. and the woman wondered how effective such a method could actually be. her arm withdrew from her strikes, and she mulled over it with her sights away from the deaths she'd caused.

she wasn't going to claim to be a therapist. but likewise, she wasn't exactly sure what to do for her friend, either.

advice? but he didn't want that, at the moment. so instead, night waved her blade away, finally, after expending her energy sources. she strode up to koga, eyes still lost, mixed, hazy. and to think, just a second ago, she'd been so confident.

night wasn't the type of person to pry into someone else's life. but her friend was right about one thing -- they didn't know each other as she thought they did. solemn, yet earnest, a naivety almost showing, the player turned to look at koga. had she gestured to sit, it would've been at a distance away from the enemies. the player had seen how they hadn't came towards her friend in their conversation.

"well, what did cardinal take from you then? -- if you don't mind me asking."

Spoiler

> POST ACTION: AOE-I

with acc5 + abs acc, bd1 + 5 = 6. bd unnecessary, but stated for verification.

ID206487 | bd8 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #028 
ID206486 | bd4 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #027 
ID206485 | bd10 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #026 
ID206484 | bd4 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #025 

-15 -(2*4) +2+4 = -17 EN
26 * 15 = 390 DMG

---

Fallen Red Cloak #025 ~ #028 | HP: 0/390 | DMG: 192

NIGHT | HP: 960/960 | EN: 28/134 | DMG: 26 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | LD: 14 | QTY: 2 | PROSP: 4 | BH: 52

 

[Koga 0]

Deciding he may as well rejoin NIGHT in farming, since that had been what they'd come out here to do in the first place, Koga drew his blade and stepped towards the next group of undead that approached them, quick to attack first as NIGHT asked her question. A rather simple one.

"Same thing as everyone else," Koga replied flatly, dismissive. The man understood the significance of telling this part of his own story, the importance of sharing it with NIGHT, especially now. Still, he was hesitant. The only people he'd told were Noctua and his sister. They were the only ones who knew.

It's not as if the story was unique though. In fact, it was probably harder to find people who hadn't had an experience than not. "I lost a couple friends when I started the game. Best friends."

A flash of silver before two of the risen Red Cloak's burst into black flame.

"Their handles were Musashi and Venus," Koga went on as he deftly avoided the tarnished steel being swung at him. "We were all close. I guess those two were a bit closer, technically. They'd started dating a bit before the game started." Koga omitted the details of his own unrequited love for Venus.

"Musashi died before the announcement came dropped, was fooling around too much with a couple boars. Can you believe it? Fucking boars." Aincrad's equivalent of slimes, or goblins in other games. Tutorial enemies. All because the guy thought it'd be funny to try and hop on the back of one and go for a joyride.

"Venus died later. Got PK'd because some assholes were mad that we were farming around what they called 'their' territory."

Koga winced as pain lanced through his side, a thrust piercing his waist. The man pushed away the offending undead, and leaped back, creating some space between himself and his attacker.

"Fucking pointless."

---

Spoiler

Koga | HP: 666/860 (860 -194) | EN: 103/120 (120 -17) | DMG: 26 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 30 | ACC: 5 | LD: 6 | BRN: 56 | BLT: 32/20 | FALN: 8 | REC: 4 | B.HEALING: 47/94 | PROSP: 3

 

Fallen Red Cloak 29 | HP: 104/390 (390 -286) | DMG: 192

Fallen Red Cloak 30 | HP: 5/390 (390 -297 -56 -32) | DMG: 192
[ BRN, DMG 56, 1/2 ]
[ BLT, DMG 32, MIT -20, 1/2 ]

Fallen Red Cloak 31 | 5/390 (390 -297 -56 -32) | DMG: 192
[ BRN, DMG 56, 1/2 ]
[ BLT, DMG 32, MIT -20, 1/2 ]

Fallen Red Cloak 32 | HP: 390/390 | DMG: 192

 

---

Koga uses AOE-I
  | 206519, BD nat4 +5, DMG 26 * 11
  | 206520, BD nat 9, DMG (26 +1) * 11
  | 206521, BD nat 9, DMG (26 +1) * 11
  | 206522, BD nat1
Fallen Red Cloak 29 takes 286 damage
Fallen Red Cloak 30 takes 297 CRIT damage!
Fallen Red Cloak 30 is BURNED!
Fallen Red Cloak 30 is BLIGHTED!
Fallen Red Cloak 31 takes 297 CRIT damage!
Fallen Red Cloak 31 is BURNED!
Fallen Red Cloak 31 is BLIGHTED!
Koga critically misses Fallen Red Cloak 32!

Fallen Red Cloak 30 takes 56 BURN damage
Fallen Red Cloak 30 takes 32 BLIGHT damage

Fallen Red Cloak 31 takes 56 BURN damage
Fallen Red Cloak 31 takes 32 BLIGHT damage

Fallen Red Cloak 29 attacks Koga
  | 206523, MD nat10, DMG 192 +2
Koga takes 194 CRIT damage!

Fallen Red Cloak 30 attacks Koga
  | 206524, MD nat5
Fallen Red Cloak 30 misses

Fallen Red Cloak 31 attacks Koga
  | 206525, MD nat8 -3
Koga dodges the attack

Fallen Red Cloak 32 attacks Koga
  | 206526, MD nat4
Fallen Red Cloak 32 misses

 

Edited March 20, 2022 by Koga

[NIGHT 0]

koga's story wasn't moving. wasn't as though it was trying to be, but even without that motive, it should've elicited some response from most others. pity, sorrow -- a sense of connection with the man's lost friends. nearly everyone had lost someone within the first few days of aincrad.

night simply winced. "i'm... sorry to hear that." and that was all she was willing to give.

because it was this aspect of living in the game that she couldn't relate to, try as she might. she didn't come in with anybody, and never got to know people for long enough to bond so deeply and then subsequently lose them, either.

so the player watched in silence as the undead were cut down, one by one, thinking as they fell. sure, he must've been close to his friends long passed. and she knew that life couldn't be replaced, either -- but in the same way, the ones who were left behind could move on.

they had to. they had to struggle to do so. because otherwise, they'd be stuck in the past.

(the thought was an irony, coming from the one who still lived there.)

night considered his story better, in that quiet, before speaking. "maybe it's people then," she contemplated, "for the same reason you dislike them, that you still need them. that you get hurt when you lose them, but choose to spend time with them even still."

desperation.

she watched as the fragments continued spiraling upwards from the remnants of the dead. "that's... probably why you're still trying, isn't it?"

[Koga 0]

"Don't be," Koga replied, voice emotionless as he cut down another loot-filled mob like it was a piñata. "That was a long time ago, and I've come to terms with it." Well, as much as one could come to terms with anyone they were close to meeting a sudden and untimely demise.

Another mob exploded into fragments as Tsuki no Hikari cut through it, it's comrade likewise burning to death behind Koga. He'd named his weapon after them not long after he'd resolved to join the Front. Well, at least their real names. Some sentimental part of him wanting to keep them close as he fought in their stead.

"Everyone needs people," Koga replied, still a bit distant, ruminating despite his busy hands. "Humans are naturally social creatures, as much as I dislike most people, even I have to admit that being lonely sucks." There was a distinct difference to him, between loneliness and simply being alone. A state of being versus an emotional state. One was simple physical disconnection, a person without direct interaction with other, whereas the other was a state of emotional disconnection. The two could hardly be compared. That feeling of loneliness was torture, but solitude was peaceful.

"But yeah, maybe," Koga said, knowing well enough that his chosen solitude was only in part due to his desire to be alone. "Losing anyone else terrifies me, though. Noct and Tala, even though they weren't really dead, that killed me. I dunno if I can keep going through that, it's why I try to keep people at arm's length."

But life wasn't a journey fit to travel alone either. That was lonely.

"Not that it's doing me much good."

---

Spoiler

Koga | HP: 666/860 | EN: 84/120 (103 +1 -20) | DMG: 26 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 30 | ACC: 5 | LD: 6 | BRN: 56 | BLT: 32/20 | FALN: 8 | REC: 4 | B.HEALING: 47/94 | PROSP: 3

 

Fallen Red Cloak 29 | HP: 0/390 (104 -476) | DMG: 192

Fallen Red Cloak 30 | HP: 0/390 (5 - 56 -32) | DMG: 192
[ BRN, DMG 56, 2/2 ]
[ BLT, DMG 32, MIT -20, 2/2 ]

Fallen Red Cloak 31 | 0/390 (5 -364) | DMG: 192
[ BRN, DMG 56, 1/2 ]
[ BLT, DMG 32, MIT -20, 1/2 ]

Fallen Red Cloak 32 | HP: 0/390 (390 -476) | DMG: 192

 

---

  > 206537, CD nat6

Koga uses AOE-II
  | 206538, BD nat7, DMG (26 +8) * 14
  | 206539, BD nat1
  | 206540, BD nat3 +5, DMG 26 * 14
  | 206541, BD nat6, DMG (26 +8) * 14
Fallen Red Cloak 29 takes 476 FALLEN damage!
Fallen Red Cloak 29 dies!
Koga misses Fallen Red Cloak 30
Fallen Red Cloak 31 takes 364 damage
Fallen Red Cloak 31 dies!
Fallen Red Cloak 32 takes 476 FALLEN damage!
Fallen Red Cloak 32 dies!

Fallen Red Cloak 30 takes 56 BURN damage
Fallen Red Cloak 30 takes 32 BLIGHT damage
Fallen Rec Cloak 30 dies!

 

---

Loot

206606, LD nat18 +3, CD nat9
206607, LD nat16 +3, CD nat2
206608, LD nat7 +3, CD nat9
206609, LD nat14 +3, CD nat10

16770*Col
6*Materials
T4 Perfect Trinket #206606a
T4 Perfect Consumable #206607a
T4 Rare Trinket #206607b
T4 Rare Trinket #206608a
T4 Rare Trinket #206609a

---

47970*Col
18*Materials
T4 Rare Trinket #206596a
T4 Rare Armor/Shield #206597a
T4 Perfect Consumable #206599a
T4 Perfect Armor/Shield #206600a
T4 Perfect Weapon #206600b
T4 Rare Armor/Shield #206601a
T4 Rare Trinket #206602a
T4 Perfect Trinket #206606a
T4 Perfect Consumable #206607a
T4 Rare Trinket #206607b
T4 Rare Trinket #206608a
T4 Rare Trinket #206609a

 

Edited March 23, 2022 by Koga

[NIGHT 0]

and she thought about it a little more.

which was the better approach; to keep people away so you would stay sane? or to keep them close, and risk feeling pain when the inevitable comes for them, when life breaks that bridge that the parties had worked so hard to build between each other?

night stewed in it, the only sign of her agitation shown with the lashing of a slash of light. she cut off an incoming group of red cloaks from rushing towards her companion's location, and watched as they broke, fell apart. she knew that could be them, no matter how hard they tried. and that just meant, to night, that they needed to do better. try harder. she couldn't make the connection with another without ensuring her own survival.

and it was with that same rationale that most players reached out. that they didn't want to die, to fall folly, no matter how much they hated people. that desperation to keep living in that desire for company of others.

she thought she'd forgotten most of the book, by now. but the words came to her lips, soon enough.

"you become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. you are responsible for your rose."

and night wondered if bistro would have a copy of it somewhere, had anyone recalled enough of the story to do so.

the player turned to koga, then, as though speaking in riddles. "then i don't think you should give up sticking to people," she explained, "for what little good it does you, even in your solitude. we need people to survive. 'no man is an island'."

but it was only after a pause that she added in a whisper, because koga had asked, and he deserved to hear it. "...losing day terrifies me, too."

her eyes were cast to the soil, muddy and dark and monochrome as it was. then, she lifted her chin, to look at her friend. eyes glazed.

"... --but you know, it will be worth it." her voice shook, even as she spoke. "even if i'm afraid of what happens next. even when i know it won't last for long, or it won't be true. even if she wasn't meant to exist in the first place."

'because of the color of the wheat fields'.

Spoiler

> POST ACTION: AOE-I

with acc5 + abs acc, bd1 + 5 = 6. bd unnecessary, but stated for verification.

ID206568 | bd9 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #036 
ID206567 | bd9 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #035 
ID206566 | bd7 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #034 
ID206565 | bd9 | -> Fallen Red Cloak #033 

-15 -(2*4) +2+4 = -17 EN
26 * 15 = 390 DMG

---

Fallen Red Cloak #033 ~ #036 | HP: 0/390 | DMG: 192

NIGHT | HP: 960/960 | EN: 12/134 | DMG: 26 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | LD: 14 | QTY: 2 | PROSP: 4 | BH: 52

 

[Koga 0]

Had the number of incoming mobs grown in the last few minutes? Regardless, the brief reprieve they'd had during their argument had ceased. Not that these mobs gave them much trouble to begin with. Even less so to NIGHT.

Though the silence was filled with the cries of the endless mob, it was like a void. Anything that entered would leave as fragments. The mobs, for they were destroyed, everything that had occurred between them would be left behind, only pieces brought with them when they finally departed. The players themselves, would also leave something behind. Words, thoughts, emotions. One could only hope they walked away with newfound understanding.

NIGHT turned towards Koga as he swung his blade at another group of mobs, striking each to devastating effect, knocking them all down into piles of meaty bones. But he grimaced when he heard NIGHT's words. It was a hard truth, and one he didn't want to admit. Didn't want to abide by. Didn't even know if he could. But he had to try, didn't he?

"...losing day terrifies me, too."

"I know it does..."

"... --but you know, it will be worth it. even if i'm afraid of what happens next. even when i know it won't last for long, or it won't be true. even if she wasn't meant to exist in the first place."

Koga let out a long sigh as he watched the Red Cloaks reassemble themselves, bones floating back into position, red cloth fluttering in the wind, the frayed and tattered ends loosing stray broken threads into the air.

"Yeah. It'll be worth it..." For all those little moments, fleeting and precious. They would be everything to NIGHT for just then, and for longer still. Something to cherish and look upon fondly, even if it was with the sorrow of loss. They would be hers, always.

And he would have his. He just had to try.

---

Spoiler

Koga | HP: 666/860 | EN: 65/120 (84 -19) | DMG: 26 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 30 | ACC: 5 | LD: 6 | BRN: 56 | BLT: 32/20 | FALN: 8 | REC: 4 | B.HEALING: 47/94 | PROSP: 3

 

Fallen Red Cloak 37 | HP: 5/390 (390 -297 -56 -32) | DMG: 192
[ BRN, DMG 56, 1/2 ]
[ BLT, DMG 32, MIT -20, 1/2 ]

Fallen Red Cloak 38 | HP: 104/390 (390 -286) | DMG: 192

Fallen Red Cloak 39 | HP: 104/390 (390 -286) | DMG: 192

Fallen Red Cloak 40 | HP: 0/390 (390 -308 -56 -32) | DMG: 192
[ BRN, DMG 56, 1/2 ]
[ BLT, DMG 32, MIT -20, 1/2 ]

---

  > 206727*, LD 6

Koga uses AOE-I
  | 206720, BD nat9, DMG (26 +1) * 11
  | 206721, BD nat4 +5, DMG 26 * 11
  | 206722, BD nat2 +5, DMG 26 * 11
  | 206723, BD nat10, DMG (26 +2) * 11
Fallen Red Cloak 37 takes 297 CRIT damage!
Fallen Red Cloak 37 is BURNED!
Fallen Red Cloak 37 is BLIGHTED!
Fallen Red Cloak 38 takes 286 damage
Fallen Red Cloak 39 takes 286 damage
Fallen Red Cloak 40 takes 308 CRIT damage!
Fallen Red Cloak 40 is BURNED!
Fallen Red Cloak 40 is BLIGHTED!

Fallen Red Cloak 37 takes 56 BURN damage
Fallen Red Cloak 37 takes 32 BURN damage
Fallen Red Cloak 40 takes 56 BURN damage
Fallen Red Cloak 40 takes 32 BURN damage
Fallen Red Cloak 40 dies!

Fallen Red Cloak 37 attacks Koga
  | 206724, MD nat8 -3
Koga dodges

Fallen Red Cloak 38 attacks Koga
  | 206725, MD nat2
Fallen Red Cloak 38's attack misses

Fallen Red Cloak 39 attacks Koga
  | 206726, MD nat7 -3
Koga dodges

*I KEEP FORGETTING TO DO MY STUPID RECOVERY ROLLS DAMN IT

 

Edited March 22, 2022 by Koga

[NIGHT 0]

now. it was only now that her energy was expended fully, completely. and night exhaled, in that acknowledgement, sword whisked away elsewhere as she forced herself to wait, patient.

the undead would keep coming, for as long as they chose to stay here. and as much as she needed the gear, so too did the talk between two friends instill jitters under her skin. and night felt herself agitated, either by the heat of the floor, or the way the land lived. heart beating, blood pulsing, a breathing realm.

she looked to koga, expression wrung dry of menace. there were traces of something akin to pity, though not. sadness, less intense. a look that might've read 'i'm sorry', had faces paired words to them, had night found a voice for the thoughts she wouldn't say.

"well? do you think we're done here? or are you looking for another answer?" a joke, as best as she could make it. the smile pushed was in humor, though forced. "any other questions you've got for me?"

[Koga 0]

By the time Koga had finished dispatching his group of fallen soldier, the last for the moment, NIGHT had already dispelled her weapon, standing there watching him with a strange look upon her face. One Koga didn't recognize on her. Anyone, if he was to be honest.

The question drew out only a soft chuckle from Koga. "None that you can answer," he answered back with a poor attempt at a joke, too close to the truth to actually be humorous.

Tsuki no Hikari was returned to it's saya as Koga started walking towards the settlement, a silent expectation that NIGHT would fall into pace beside him like countless times before.

"Hey," the man said after a moment or two of silence, glancing over at his partner. "We're...good, right?" A question that both didn't seem to require an answer, but all the same needed to be asked, if only to confirm one of the better outcomes.

---

Spoiler

Koga | HP: 666/860 (666 +47) | EN: 50/120 (65 +1 +4 -20) | DMG: 26 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 30 | ACC: 5 | LD: 6 | BRN: 56 | BLT: 32/20 | FALN: 8 | REC: 4 | B.HEALING: 47/94 | PROSP: 3

 

Fallen Red Cloak 37 | HP: 5/390 (5 -364) | DMG: 192
[ BRN, DMG 56, 1/2 ]
[ BLT, DMG 32, MIT -20, 1/2 ]

Fallen Red Cloak 38 | HP: 104/390 (104 -476) | DMG: 192

Fallen Red Cloak 39 | HP: 104/390 (104 -392) | DMG: 192

Fallen Red Cloak 40 | HP: 0/390 | DMG: 192

 

---

  > 206732, CD nat7, recovery activated

Koga uses AOE-II
  | 206733, BD nat4 +5, DMG 26 * 14
  | 206734, BD nat7, DMG (26 +8) * 14
  | 206735, BD nat10, DMG (26 +2) *14
Fallen Red Cloak 37 takes 364 damage
Fallen Red Cloak 37 dies!
Fallen Red Cloak 38 takes 476 FALLEN damage
Fallen Red Cloak 38 dies!
Fallen Red Cloak 39 takes 392 CRIT damage
Fallen Red Cloak 39 dies!

---

Loot

  > 206736, LD nat12 +3, CD nat10
  > 206737, LD nat1 +3, CD nat4
  > 206738, LD nat20 +3, CD nat11
  > 206739, LD nat4 +3, CD nat10

---

17550*Col
4*Materials
T4 Rare Armor/Shield #206736a
T4 Perfect Consumable #206738a
T4 Rare Trinket #206739a

---

65520*Col
22*Materials
T4 Rare Trinket #206596a
T4 Rare Armor/Shield #206597a
T4 Perfect Consumable #206599a
T4 Perfect Armor/Shield #206600a
T4 Perfect Weapon #206600b
T4 Rare Armor/Shield #206601a
T4 Rare Trinket #206602a
T4 Perfect Trinket #206606a
T4 Perfect Consumable #206607a
T4 Rare Trinket #206607b
T4 Rare Trinket #206608a
T4 Rare Trinket #206609a
T4 Rare Armor/Shield #206736a
T4 Perfect Consumable #206738a
T4 Rare Trinket #206739a

 

Edited March 23, 2022 by Koga

[NIGHT 0]

so she did. there was no reason to stay once their discussion had been done, except to exhaust the use of their buffs. granted, that would've been a lucrative experience, if however taxing. night wasn't the type of person to over exert herself where she could help it.

hence, the walk.

when koga pressed her about their status -- as friends, who'd just fought -- the woman nodded with a lukewarm hum. an argument, a heated debate -- one could view the same event in different contexts and label it otherwise. what differed here was that it ended amicably, night believed. judging form her friend's reaction, too, he must've felt the same -- understood her answer, at least, if not leaving satisfied. and the man couldn't have seen her agreement, but he must've heard it.

so then, what to do afterwards...

"as long as you don't go dying on me," night responded, after some thought. she immediately followed up with another honesty -- "so where do you wanna head out to eat at? it's on me."

[Koga 0]

At the sight of NIGHT's nod of agreement, Koga turned his gaze back to what lay in front of them, humming out a quiet, "mm," the only sign of his acknowledgement as they walked along the path. For a moment, Koga had wondered if that today was going to be the day a years long friendship was going to end. He was more than glad to see it wasn't. He supposed, perhaps neither could afford to allow that to happen, for whatever reasons they had.

Or hell, maybe they were both just too stubborn to let somethings go.

Whatever the case, a sore jaw and a temporary orange cursor was all they'd had to pay. Not a bad price when it came down to it.

Koga chuckled, wry and perhaps a little bit mirthful as he heard NIGHT's addendum, what he'd have a called the price of their friendship. "Well, I can't make any promises, but, I'll do my best," he answered before the sound of his rumbling stomach punctuated the question that followed. "Mm, never tried hot pot before, know any good places?"