[F27-PP] Apparitions Walk The Earth

[NIGHT 0]

so that was the point.

(the revelation, once it came to light, would eat at her slowly despite her consciously unaware.)

she watched as hirru pull out the cloak that resembled very much like the game master's, and was certain half the reason that she hadn't flinched was because of its subdued colors in the cool ambience of the moonlight. the faded gold trim was the other half, likely, and night listened as her friend spoke. watched his digits curl around the robe, that monstrous thing, a figment of their haunting memory made real like a threat -- a reminder, to other players, that wandered around and crossed paths with its wearer to remember that day. like a shadow and a spotlight both cast upon the wearer themselves. had macradon truly said that? 'a statement'; with what power behind it beyond scaring others beyond belief? but what else had hirru mentioned to have her doubt his words so far?

silent, only wincing, she couldn't blame hirru for nearly wanting to destroy the thing, sentimentality absent otherwise.

"..It was the first time I had ever seen it, and had heard of the event happening all together."

cardinal wasn't known to play well on memory loss. at least, that was as far as she was familiar, or exposed with the effects of its control upon the players. the creators said that this game was to be fair -- fair enough that they'd survive if they pushed on through well and brave, strategic and masterful.

if anything, night's eyes darted about the robe, searching for a reasonable hypothesis, an answer, that was at the very least rational... if not satisfying.

"If everyone remembers, why don't I?"

her eyes narrowed in thought.

"well," she started, slow. "we haven't seen players come back to life exactly. and if everyone else has been saying that it is the end, even if you recall it otherwise, then overtime, even without that knowledge, you're likely to believe it." she couldn't meet his gaze, and closed her eyes, as though reading notes to her life at the back of her lids. "like the monkeys in that one experiment. where they were punished for trying to climb a ladder for the banana, only to teach it to a new generation who knew not the consequences, and yet their pattern persisted over the generations that came and went."

"... hm."

night opened her eyes, mulling over her answer.

"but that also means between the time period of that beginning to the start of your story... there's an absence, or an inability for recollection. either it didn't happen, and there's nothing to recall... or it did happen, and there's something blocking you from what you can remember."

the player curled in on herself. as much as she distrusted cardinal, she didn't distrust hirru in equal measure. and yet, where would be the first place to start? night spent the better half of her time in aincrad having existed with suppressed memories.

she gave hirru a pained smile. "when i had chosen to forget things... it was about my time before i'd entered the game. things about myself i'd rather not remember, rather than struggle to recall at all. and it wasn't exactly a conscious decision for me; at least, i wasn't aware if it had been at the time. but i'm not sure if these quests would do the same for you."

her digits outstretched, she began recounting aloud.

"it started with 'the gemini'. fighting yourself can't get more literal than this. then there was 'calming the soul', delving into the past. both of them are on floor six."

night ruffled the hair on her scalp a little, still trying to make sense of the information laid out in front of her. but then her gaze went to the flowers on the tree, and then to the red of hirru's cloak.

"i'd specifically rather not remember these things about myself... because they'd been bad experiences, if not traumatic." she tried not to darken her expression at the consideration, if not to scare hirru away, if it was a fact that could even induce that sort of fear into him. "i think for most people, what they'd find in there is losing people they once knew. inside the game or otherwise. facing their worst obstacles to realizing themselves as people, 'shadows of the egos' included." without looking at the hanging flowers, she bobbed her head in its direction, where hirru's gaze might've gone. "this? this... sounds like one of them."

"maybe it's your first step to making it 'back to where it all started from'... perhaps?"