[SP-F1]<<Earning A Living>>-On the Streets

[Gestein 0]

Gestein tried his best to avoid looking at the nearly empty tip jar that sat before him. After finally having earned his Profession, he had figured that he could at least attempt to earn a living busking out in the bustling city. There were only so many times that a person could go on the hunt, after all. With the way the game's economy seemed to work, NPCs likely had a static amount of col on their persons earned from various trades and sales. That had to be put back into the economy somehow, right? Did they even buy items from players? Perhaps it was the humble Performer that brought all of that money back into the players hands?

It had been a good theory, but ultimately his hypothesis was not holding up to the experiment at hand. After an hour and a half of strumming away at his lute, playing the basic tunes of medieval fair with a simple flick of his wrist, he had yet to see more than one or two people even stop for a moment to listen to his playing. NPC and player alike ignored him with ease despite being in one of the busiest districts of the Starting City.

At first, he took the passing crowd in stride; eventually someone would come listen. Right? After a while though, the constant rejection of his performing had gotten to him. He wasn't smiling. He wasn't swaying in time with the music. He didn't look like he was even having any fun. The hollow medieval music he was playing didn't even entertain him. How could it possibly please a crowd?

Someone had once told him that if he enjoyed what he was doing, he would never work a day in his life. Maybe the crowd could tell that he wasn't really enjoying himself?

"You know what, screw it. Let's have some fun with this." he said with a wry grin as he switched the tuning of his instrument. If this was going to be his job, he would at least try to enjoy himself.

[Gestein 0]

“A one. Two. A one two three four!â€

A jaunty, bubbly tune sprang forth from the lute with the sound of a ukulele, and Gestein began to dance. He had never learned how to properly dance a hula, and in fact what he was doing was nowhere close to being one, but he rocked his hips back and forth and danced and jigged about as he strummed away to a silly little song from his childhood half remembered, and half made up on the spot.

"On a tropical island, Oh on a tropical island

On a tropical island

Underneath the molten lava moon

Hanging with the hula dancers

Asking questions 'cuz they've got all the answers

Pele lookin’ down from the highest peaks

The gecko on the walls giving me the creeps

Just singin the night awaaaaaaaaaaaay

I’ll be putting on lotion, sitting by the ocean

Rubbin' it on my body, rubbin' it on my body

Cookin up the LauLau, makin up some kaukau

Puttin’ it in my tummy, Puttin’ it in my tummy.

Oh on a tropical island,

That’s where I want to be

No more giant forests filled with giant bees

Only sandy beaches filled with coconut trees

We’ll dance around the fire in the ocean breeze

Just singin the night awaaaaaaaaaaaay

Just get me out of this caaaaaaave

Because it's nothing but a gladiator graaaaaave

And if I stick to the plaaaaaan

I think I'll turn into a lava maaaaaan

I think I’ll turn into a lava man!"

He had made a complete and utter fool of himself. The goofy dancing, the nonsensical song, all of it should have embarrassed him in front of the small astonished crowd that now stood before him. After all, it was hard to ignore what appeared to be a giant in the throes of some sort of epileptic fit in the bustling square. Yet Gestein laughed heartily as he stopped and looked at the few people that stood before him, and the crowd, believe it or not, joined him.

With a small and captivated audience before him, and remembering his setting, Gestein quickly thought of another funny song from when he was a kid. It was a little bit self deprecating, but he launched into it with gusto...

[Gestein 0]

A keytar would have been his ideal weapon of choice, but the big man made due with the only instrument in his Profession’s capacity that could play the range and pace he intended for his next song; a zither.

As he started the introduction to his next song, he put on a joking air of false bravado and confidence. This was going to be a blast, if he could get the crowd behind him.

“Why hello there.†He called out to a now confused and shocked looking pink haired girl that now found herself the center of his attentions. Whether she was an NPC or a Player mattered not to Gestein as his sudden attentions put her on the spot and pulled her into the act.

“You're a very attractive young lady

I'd like to ask you out on the hoooooooottest of dates!

I see that you have a lot of other gentlemen suitors

Allow me to make my case…â€

Despite the sheer audacity of it all, the girl did not run away screaming into the square. Having found herself the muse of this particular song, and the object of faux amorous attention, she stayed at the front of the crowd and listened as the performer whispered a quick set of instructions into her ear. Smiling at the part of the act that she was given, she played along with Gestein’s flirtations as the song continued.

[Gestein 0]

With the pink haired girl now part of his act, Gestien launched himself into the song with gusto.

"This guy plays Tank Build,†he crooned, pointing to a rather burly looking fellow in the crowd that continued to gather at the spectacle he was putting on. “But I once won a whole boss fight by myselfâ€

“That guy is a Strength player,†Yet again calling out another muscular guy in the crowd, who did not appear to appreciate having been nominated. “But I can bench an entire continental shelf!â€

“This dude is an Alchemist†A young man in robes who had stayed over from the last song clapped as he was made part of the story.

“But I already cured all diseases last week.

And if that’s not enough let me ask

When was last time one of these dicks killed a motherfrickin' mythical beast?!â€

With the stage now set, the big man launched himself into a series of power rockin’ dance moves worthy of the greatest 80’ hair metal music videos of all time, snaking around the stage as he attempted to use the chorus to ‘woo’ the young lady that stood before him with a knowing smirk on her face.

“Oh yeah, I will rock your world

Cause I'm a dragon slayer, girl!

I shall now expose my chest...

(He was tempted to rip open his shirt, but being unsure of how to fix the item afterwards, or even if it would just decide to explode into pixels, decided against it)

Don't act like you're not impressed

How hard did I just seal the deal

With my dragon slayer steel

Do you feel all my sexy appeal

And my story that's so very totally real!!â€

[Gestein 0]

The target of his attentions was not impressed by his obviously manly deeds and exploits. She rebuffed his approach by pushing him into the wall that served as a backdrop to the stage, and despite being only about â…“ of his size, Gestein went flying comically backwards. However, he was undeterred. Playing to the part of his character in the song, he concluded that she only needed more proof of his amazingness before she would see the light.

“I rode up to the mountaintop

It was ninety million hundred fifty thousand hundred feet in the air

Til I found the Dragon's cave

And I fought through his army of awesome karate bearsâ€

As difficult as it would have been to do in real life, the profession system made it easy to continue to play the song as he pantomimed all of the action on the stage. The glorious battle was fought as he riotously danced around the front of the small crowd that continued to build at his strange antics.

“The Dragon's breath was a blast from hell

And we fought so hard I missed a longstanding appointment for brunch

Then I swung my horse like a club

And it caused a sonic boom that ruptured space and then exploded the sun!â€

Once again, he turned his attentions toward his pink-haired accomplice, who seemed to somehow not notice just how awesome the character he was portraying was and proceeded to ignore his daring tale in favor of pantomiming filing her nails. However, this only made him try even harder to woo the lady. With moves as frantic as the famous “She’s a Maniac†dance in Flashdance, the big man romped his way into the chorus once again.

“Oh yeah, you are now in love

With both my dragon slaying nuts

I killed a demon with these hands

Did I say I'm also in a band?

In case you might need more proof

I brought the dragon right to you

Ooh! it's the one that I slew

He'll attest that my story is totally true!â€

“Dragon dance!â€

For a moment, Gestein’s mind froze up in fear as he came to two realizations:

1. He had introduced yet another character to the song’s tale and hadn't recruited anyone for it.

2. He didn't actually know what the dragon dance was going to be.

However, his determination to see the song to the end overcame his realization, and he raced to cobble together something for the bridge.

[Gestein 0]

The dance that he performed was more like the zombie dance from Thriller than any sort of dance that a dragon would have done, especially since Gestein’s hands were full. As he performed a blistering zither solo, he shuffled around the makeshift area that was his stage shaking his shoulders and neck too and fro as if he were a character from Charlie Brown stuck in a frantic looping dance. Although the next bit would have made more sense with a second confidant playing the part, a shift in his posture and singing style was all that he could afford to do in order to portray the dragon’s quick foray into the song.

“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII… am a dragon!†He sang in an operatic tone outside of his usual range.

“Not some guy Stein met at the bus station in a dragon suit!â€

With a mighty “Woo!†Gestein ‘Vanquished’ the dragon from the stage with a pantomimed karate kick and returned to his original schtick. And yet, the object of his faux affections was still not impressed - she tended to the imaginary dragon on the ground as he made his final frantic attempt to make her aware of just how truly awesome he was.

“Girl let's go back to my place

Nothing fancy, just a huge mansion in space

Can you guess what's coming next?

Here's a hint: I'm talking about sex

This is the best day of your life

You'll be my dragon slayer wife

All right! Now it's time to decide

Which lucky one of us is gonna be your ‘party’ tonight?â€

[Gestein 0]

With a certain amount of malicious glee, the pink haired girl made her way through the crowd and hooked her arm around that of the now confused Tank he had previously called out.

With a dejected look on his face, Gestein sighed and did his best to look as if he were barely holding together a stiff upper lip.

“I see you’ve chosen the Tank…â€

But, she was not done breaking his heart just yet. Not by a long shot. She dragged the hapless Tank through the crowd towards the young man in robes and hooked her other free arm around his elbow.

“And the Alchemist…â€

The look of disbelief on his face rose as his accomplice continued to build up her harem as she walked through the crowd and back towards the stage.

“and apparently the Strength player as well…"

“aaaaaand the dragon?†He couldn’t believe his eyes as the girl pantomimed picking up the defeated dragon and adding it to her party.

“And a ninja, huh? He wasn’t even in this song!†he cried out in mock protest as the last member of her harem, a masked figure clad in black, was collected from the crowd. With that, he wound the song to a close with one final flourish of his zither, and crumpled to the floor like a puppet cut from its strings in defeat.

The crowd erupted into cheering for the grand impromptu act. After quickly springing back up to his feet, he took a quick bow before waving to his compatriot to bring her back by his side.

“Let’s give a round of applause for this wonderful young lady for being such a good sport!†He said, and as the girl took a final bow the audience went wild with cheers.