[F22-PP] The Thing Behind All Lies

[Freyd 0]

Known to the erudite as The Citadel of the Lost, few truly knew the origins of Firm Anima's headquarters.  Constant turnover and attrition wore its identity down to the nub to be forgotten on the edge of the Forest of Memories.

How ironic that this place, laced with so many secrets, barely clung to its own identity by a thread.  So much like its owner and creator...

Sitting in lotus on an erratic hunk of smooth-worn basalt, the Whisper swayed slightly in the breeze to the same silent tune as the surrounding field of lilies.  Something had urged him seek out this place again and delve deep into his battered psyche.  That voice, the same as had spoken to him so many times in this maddening world sounded as it always had, yet also different.  Something had changed.  Or, may something could... change?  Was it him, or the world, or both?  Reality was at a point of inflection.  A familiar fragrance and the sound of carefree laughter.  Tears of anger and strands of verdigris slipping through blackened hands stained by callous necessity and despair.  A honey bun, then hint of red cloth burnt to oblivion upon the edges.  Eyes closed and cowl shuttered to the world, Freyd meditated on the stone, searching for answers to the inexplicable.  Either something was off, or he was.  

Why come back to this blasted nightmare, where a shade of the darkness within had broken free and run amok?  He'd hunted down his own soul that day, frayed into a hundred melancholy pieces all driven to chaos and ruin like a fractured fragments of a shattered mirror.  What had remained?  Two things stared back at him across the void within his mind.  The first, a god without a face - nothing but a cowl and distant calculating cold.  The other, a boy without a clue - human and passionate, but broken by a world too hard to bear and rage unleashed to his own detriment.  What did that make him?  Where did that leave the mirror trapped between the cast and its caster?  When all truth in the world has been stripped bare, revealing nothing but illusion, what is the lingering nature of the thing behind all lies?

***

Freyd | HP: 1140/1140 | EN: 148/148 | DMG: 24 | MIT: 78 | EVA: 2 | ACC: 4 | BH: 62 | LD: 5 | FLN: 16 | HLY: 16 | REC: 8

Spoiler

Freyd, The Whisper in Shadow
Level: 32
Paragon Level: 115
HP: 1140/1140
EN: 148/148

Stats:
Damage: 24
Mitigation: 78
Evasion: 2
Accuracy: 4
Battle Healing: 62
Loot Dice: 5
FLN: 16
HLY: 16
REC: 8

Equipped Gear:
Weapon: Samael's Pride (T4 MA | HLY 2 | FLN 2)
Armor: Fallen Angel Garb (T4 LA | Mit 2 | Rec 2)
Misc: Fight O'er Flight (T3 Trinket | ACC 2 | EVA 2)

Skills:
Martial Arts R5
Battle Healing R5
Light Armor R5
Searching R4
Charge
Energist
Quick Change
Extended Mod Limit

Active Mods:
Night Vision
Tracking
Meticulous
Untraceable
Vanish
Surprise Attack (Assassin)

Inactive Mods:

Addons:
Ferocity
Precision
Resolve
Reveal
Stamina

Active Extra Skills:
Disguise
Survival
Forgotten King’s Authority
Hiding R5

Inactive Extra Skills:
Meditation
Brawler
Photosynthesize
Frozen Hide

Battle Ready Inventory:
Teleport Crystals x7
Mass HP Rec [Inst] (+30*T HP) x7
Mass HP Rec [Inst] (+30*T HP) x7
Crystal of Divine Light (Reusable) x1
Rhino's Horn (Reusable) x1
Hmr.Pk: The Thing Behind All Lies (T4 Demonic WH, AA, Blight, Static, Para.Ven (Off)) x1

Housing Buffs:
Rested: -1 energy cost for the first two expenditures of each combat
Clean: The first time you would suffer DoT damage in a thread, reduce damage taken from DoT each turn by 20% (rounded down)
Working: +2 EXP per crafting attempt
Filling: Increase the effectiveness of a single food item consumed in a thread by +1 T1 slot.
Item Stash: +1 Battle Ready Inventory Slot
Delicious: Turn 3 identical food items (same quality, tier, & enhancements) into a Feast. A Feast contains 6 portions of the food items sacrificed.
Relaxed: Increases out of combat HP regen by (5 * Tier HP) and decreases full energy regen to 2 Out of Combat Posts.
Skylight (Searching): +1 Rank to the Searching skill.
Angler: +1 material gained when fishing
Advanced Training: +10% Exp to a thread. Limit one use per month [0/1]
Multipurpose: Gain +1 to LD, Stealth Rating, Stealth Detection, or Prosperity to one post in a thread. Can be applied after a roll
Decor [Potted Tanabata Bamboo Tree]: This buff affects the player and their choice of up to two party members.

Guild Hall Buffs:
Lucrative: Reduce LD needed for Salvage by 5 (10+ for Alchemist crystals, 6+ for everything else). +2 EXP per craft. Rank 9 crafters receive +1 crafting attempt per day. Rank 10 crafters receive +2 crafting attempts per day.
Col Deposit: +5% bonus col from last-hit monster kills and +10% bonus col from treasure chests.

Scents of the Wild:
Kumatetsu Statue: +1 Base Damage for a thread
 

 

Edited July 26, 2023 by Freyd

[Freya 0]

Holding the trunk, feet carefully measured on top of a branch. The wind was not helping the balance, she was trying to keep. An apple in her view, prepared to jump for it. Droplets of light rain begin to hit her face, blurring her vision ever so slightly. "Really nature, you really do have perfect timing," biting her bottom lip, it was now or never, her knees bend and Freya makes the leap. Left foot slips, losing that footing as the jump was now too short to make a connection to the fruit. Catching a small branch, now hanging ten feet from the ground. Trying to pull herself up, the thin wood wasn't going to hold, sighing, as the sound of snapping started. Pulling herself up quickly now, in the same intent, hops off the breaking oak grasping a red treat. The minute those feet hit the ground, a summersault breaks her fall, landing carefully on her feet. Wiping her brow with her forearm, with a sigh of relief.

Hearing a rustling of leaves, pulling her scythe out of pure instinct, eyes slowly scan the interior of the trees. Thunder crashed in the sky, pouring now. It never rained here, when it did there was never a storm. Eyes lock to a familiar figure, something was wrong though, hardly saw Freyd in a frantic state. What was there to be upset about, there was nothing wrong with the world or at least that is what Freya felt. Something changed, shifted and all was just suddenly perfect. No worries, no concerns, no desperation to finish the game. It was the calmest she has ever felt, and her love was waiting back home for her. Seeing a friend in need though, Freya couldn't just walk away. 

Hair spilled in front of her eyes as she walked carefully to her friend, taking a seat on the ground next to him. Getting into her bag, pulling out a honey bun, having an unlimited amount now. "What's going on buddy, did Elora do something again?" Holding out his favorite treat, hoping that he would take it. Thunder crashed in the sky as rain was now coming down harder than before.

Freya | HP: 840/840 | EN: 122/122 | DMG: 23 | MIT: 20 | EVA: 3 | ACC: 4 | BH: 46 | LD: 6 | AA | BLD: 48 | PHASE | REC: 4 | V.O.: 92

Spoiler

Freya,
Level: 32
Paragon Level: 53
HP: 840/840
EN: 122/122

Stats:
Damage: 23
Mitigation: 20
Evasion: 3
Accuracy: 4
Battle Healing: 46
Loot Dice: 6
AA
BLD: 48
PHASE
REC: 4
V.O.: 92

Equipped Gear:
Weapon: Final Calamity - Remorse (T4/Demonic/2HBA): Absolute Accuracy, Vampiric Offensive 1, Bleed 1, Phase
Armor: Dark Embrace - Sacrifice (T4/Perfect/Light Armor): Evasion 2, Recovery 1
Misc: Ebon Band - Truth (Tierless/Perfect/Trinket): Accuracy 3

Custom Skill:


Skills:
Axe R5
Cloth Armor R5
Charge
Energist
Searching R5
Battle Healing R5

Active Mods:
Athletics
Tracking
Night Vision

Inactive Mods:

Addons:
Nimble
Stamina
Precision
Ferocity

Active Extra Skills:
Concentration
Survival

Inactive Extra Skills:

Battle Ready Inventory:
Teleport Crystal x1
Broken Baker's Dozen +2 EVA Feast x
Crystal of Divine Light [201986b] x1

Housing Buffs:
Filling: Increase the effectiveness of a single food item consumed in a thread by +1 T1 slot.
Delicious: Turn 3 identical food items (same quality, tier, & enhancements) into a Feast. A Feast contains 6 portions of the food items sacrificed.
Advanced Training: +10% Exp to a thread. Limit one use per month [1/1]

Guild Hall Buffs:
Lucrative: Reduce LD needed for Salvage by 5 (10+ for Alchemist crystals, 6+ for everything else). +2 EXP per craft. Rank 9 crafters receive +1 crafting attempt per day. Rank 10 crafters receive +2 crafting attempts per day.
Col Deposit: +5% bonus col from last-hit monster kills and +10% bonus col from treasure chests.

Scents of the Wild:

Wedding Ring:

[Freyd 0]

A small silent smile gained.  In this pose, from her angle, he looked like nothing more than a silhouette, because he was.  A black glove reached over her head, pilfering the proffered pastry and gulping it down in a single bite while his shadow just shook its head.

"Nah," Freyd mumbled as he chewed, waving Montjoy away like a fart in the wind.  "I was just getting hungry and this seemed like the best way to get you to bring me food."  He hadn't seen Elora much in recent weeks.  It wasn't a bad thing.  She was too free (re: volatile) a spirit to have him hanging around all the time, and he still had duties needing attending.  It worked for them.  The snack was as good as ever - the taste of friendship.  Something made him momentarily picture Freya like some sort of anthropomorphic golden pony for a moment, only to he shooed away by a swift blink and twitchy headshake.  Still, he felt compelled to be honest with her.  What the fuck is wrong with me?!  What happened to 'need to know?'

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he just spat it out.  "Bad dreams, you know.  Like, darker than usual, and that's saying something coming from yours truly.  I don't usually remember them at all.  But, lately, it's always the same one, ending the same way, and I don't like it."

Could the system even make him look haggard?  Freyd pushed the limits of his endurance so frequently that it was hard to tell.  He'd only had one decent night's sleep in this hellhole.  That one thought broke the malaise, easing the tension from his features at least a bit.

"Other than my amazing psychic pastry summoning abilities, what brought you out here?  Shouldn't you and Gaius be all..."  A lewd gesture provided illustration, just to get a rise.

[Freya 0]

The bun being snatched from her fingers, "Oh, so you came out here in the freezing thundery rain just hoping I would find you with a bun in my pocket just for you??" Brushing her hands together as to get the crumbs off the fingertips. Crossing her legs now, leaning on her arms behind her. There was a time when the storm bothered her, but being with Gaius and all those thunderous nights, he made her feel safe. That it was just one more thing that couldn't hurt her. There was plenty out there to substitute for that damage. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

Tilting a head toward her friend, "You know, if she hurts you, I hurt her, right?" A smirk peers across her face. Freyd mentions the bad dream, vague, but there. Starting to think about the flames, electricity, death. Gaius's death, that pain she felt, feeling was so real. Like nothing ever before, how damaged she was after. Freya takes a deep sigh, "In my bogey man of a dream, the guild hall blows up with Gaius, my father and my sister in it." Looking to the sky, lightning lighting the dark for only a split second. Remembering that she woke up sobbing and frantically looking for Gaius, who was laying right next to her, still breathing. "For a moment I kept thinking, what the hell was that, but then after a few days that feeling of trying to figure it out just stopped." Setting a hand on Freyd's leg, the other still behind her supporting her small frame.

"I don't know what your dream was about, but in mine," tightening that grip on his leg, "I started looking to the end cause it was happy." Everyday since then, every waking moment she got was with Gaius. Not because of the dream, but because she knew that it was where she was supposed to be. "This," gripping his leg tighter, with a bit of nails digging in this time for him to feel it, "This is real, you and me right here talking. This small amount of irritating pain from my hand, real..." If is dream was anything like hers and he hadn't dealt with it yet, maybe she could help snap him out of the gruesome nightmare. Yes, maybe she should be back home with Gaius, it was getting late and they were planning a dinner date night, but friends mattered too. Gaius would understand, but Freya would have a lot to make up for this night.

[Freyd 0]

Freyd looked like he'd just been slapped by a wet fish wielded by a bawdy barmaid wearing a girdle made of post-consumer waffleboard and held in place by the contents of ten thousand pixie sticks.  Nothing was processing.  His brain had just idled and stopped.  Every word Freya had just spoken mirrored his own recurring vision, more aptly dubbed the worst nightmare in his entire life, though those words didn't do it justice.  It was rare to catch the Whisper so completely off guard.  She'd just done it in spades.

"What did you say?"  Blinks signaled a restart as Freyd bag-o-cats brain began winding itself tighter once more.  "How is that even possible?  I've had exactly, and I mean exactly, the same dream."  It took the pinch of her fingers clenching on his leg to break through his lingering daze, mouth opening and closing without explanation.  "But if you saw it too, then..."  He couldn't process the magnitude of its significance.  Was this just another of Cardinal's cruel tricks?  Stuck in a digital realm with his best and truest friend telling him it was real?  Looking down at Samael's Pride, the gloved symbol of death and endurance become his hands, all he could see was the endless, hungry void within, separated from the 'real' by the thinnest veneer of hope.  Elora.

"You know, if she hurts you, I hurt her, right?"

"Wh... what?"  

Playing cards fell through his mind's eye, each of an orange suit and numbers made of intertwined fingers.  Was he even breathing?  Did he still need to?  Takeshi.  The fight.  Ken.  Blood.  Blood all over his hands.  The sound of glass breaking.

Freya would feel him grow tense, no, petrified.  

Vanity Tag: @Elora

[Freya 0]

The leg that she was holding becomes like a rock, Freya had to look up under the hood to see what was going on. His eyes were frantically looking around, like he was wanting them to fixate on something but couldn't. Giving a sigh, yes it was strange and yes, it was a bit eerie that they had the same dream, but Freya knew how it ended and so did he. Pulling up her hand from the leg and snapping her fingers in front of his face... No reaction. Freya gets up from where she was sitting and stands in front of Freyd now. Pulling his coy off from his head, lightly tapping his face, "Freyd, snap out of it." No reaction...

Closing her eyes, Freya knows what will happen if she straight up punches him, she won't be allowed to to that town run like she wanted to, but it's a chance she had to take. Clenching her hand into a fist, Freya decks Freyd as hard as she can, not wanting to cause any real damage but to bring him back to this reality. His eyes stop wondering, grasped both her hands to both sides of his face. Locking eyes with him now, "If it is real then so fucking be it. We beat the system and we beat the game and we all were still okay in the end. If it isn't, then the cardinal is one fucked up man for showing us this." Not letting his face go, keeping his eyes focused on her. The sky causes Freya and Freyd to be soaked at this point, but she could give a damn less. "Our friends, our family are okay. That is all that matters Freyd, we are okay and still alive."

Releasing her hands from his face, kneeling down in front of him, finding his hands within his robe to hold in hers. "Someone once told me to focus on today, and deal with tomorrow when it comes." Thinking about Gaius and those words, how so many times Freya had lost control because there was too many problems that couldn't be dealt with in a single moment. "Think about that last day in Raidou's house back in the real world. How happy everyone was. Hold on to that," the grip on his hands get tighter, "Focus on this," saying as she raises their hands for Freyd to see them, "This is real, not what we saw in a dream while in slumber." Freya keeps those hands raised in front of them to wait and see if he says anything.    

[Freyd 0]

No one else would have gotten away with it unscarred.  Well, okay, maybe two others.  The point was that Freyd didn't let anyone get in a shot like that without consequences unless they were very, very special to him.  Freya was lucky to be one of those rare few.  Blinking away the stars, he was nonetheless glad that she wasn't a martial artist or the system might have backed that up with more oomph.  

"You don't get it, Freya."   His voice was barely more than a whisper, but also seething with rage.

"If that dream is true, then I'm not even human.  Or worse: half human, half mob and half glue - yeah, I get the math.  It's a little crowded in here, okay?"  Tapping his forehead for emphasis.  "I don't even get how this is possible, or would be.  What tense are we even supposed to use about this?  Fucking wibbly-wobbly shit.  Sure, Takeshi gets his girl, and Cichol gets his world back, but what about Freyd?  He stays here?"  Then realization dawned, the tension easing across his brow and shoulders.  "He stays here..."

Fragments of past and distant conversations rattle around his head, bouncing off each other until they all started to make sense.  

"No wonder I never wanted to leave..."   He looked at Freya like he was seeing her for the very first time.  "We can't tell anyone about this.  And I need to..."

The words just stopped, as if the magnitude of the required action overwhelmed his willingness to speak them aloud.

No.  No one can know.  Not even her.

[Freya 0]

Freya just stares at him, not confused, she knew exactly what he was saying because it was seen through her eyes too. The pain, agony, sorrow that the other figure went through. Hell Freya went through the same anger and sorrow, seeing when he split in the dream. Losing her best friend to a king and human emotions that were made from Elora's feelings. Freyd was the part that was her friend, not being able to speak to him directly in that dream, it broke her heart. There was more that he wasn't saying, she could tell. The way that he cut his words off, made her think that he didn't want to tell her. Still holding his hands, placing them on his legs. "Freyd stayed to help keep the peace for the people that remained here," there in the corner of her eye was a small tear, thought she was over it but talking through it felt weird and painful.

"IF, and I mean IF you are three parts of a whole, then okay fine. There is a you in each of them and I honestly think nothing less of you regardless." A twist of her head, looking up to meet his eyes. "If you are purely just a husk for a bigger purpose, then fine. I do NOT regret for a dam second of meeting you." Taking her right hand back, setting it on his cheek, "If you were just created and meant for bigger bad ass things, then so fucking be it. You are one of the best things that ever happened to me, to Firm Anima." Rubbing her thumb against his cheek now, "Keep living Freyd for me," getting to her feet now and bending slightly over to pull him into a hug. "IF the future comes to past from that dream, I will be right here with you," saying softly. "Please just for now, focus on the now. Don't go bat shit crazy like I did about the unknown. Please..." Staying in the hug, another tear, she hoped to whatever god was out there that it wasn't true. Freya didn't want to feel that way again... 

[Freyd 0]

Freya had always been passionate.  It was surely what drew her and Gaius together.  They were kindred spirits.  She also reminded him a lot of Elora in that way, and it served them both well.  Sure, they were unpredictable wrecks half the time, but somehow they made it work.  Humans be pffft.  Between the two of them, the compliments were overflowing uncannily of late.  Do they really see me this way?  He struggled to understand.  Freyd was a persona crafted for a purpose; one most often connected to perceived or projected fears.  She wasn't wrong when she called him a husk, but their words and the looks in their eyes made him feel like he could be something more. 

Only then did he notice the one critical detail that had indeed changed: Montjoy.  His conscience and critic, the shadowy voice in the mind chattered off endlessly with direct access to his mind's ear.  Freyd found him admirably relentless, and so often just told him to shut it.  But, he hadn't had to in a while - a long while.  So long a while that he couldn't actually recall when he'd last had to do so.

 "Keep living Freyd for me."  A memory of flaring light on glass lenses.  A book burning a hole in his metaphysical pocket.  Epiphany, like fate slapping on the back of the head, save that she wasn't here right now.

It's not about me, and never has been.

Okay, maybe not exactly a revelation, or it shouldn't have been, but Freyd had long since consigned himself to a death in Kayaba's game.  His only goal had been to get everyone else to safety.  The win-at-all-personal-cost approach had gotten him farther than he'd ever expected.  But it had always been about what he needed to do for them to survive.  That wasn't enough.  He couldn't just do, or fix, or break whatever they needed him to.  Raidou had being showing him y example the entire time.  The familiar voice returned, but not as a separate afterthought.  This was all Freyd, free of his other guises, scolding only himself.

You can't just do what they need you to do.  You need to be who they need you to be, dumbass.  It's about them.

Somewhere, a penny dropped.

"Thank you, Freya."  Heartfelt and blissfully calm, the words were a complete contrast to the paralyzing mania from mere moments ago.  "Thank you for being my friend."  Wrapping his arms around her as well, Freyd did the one thing that he could never before have imagined and returned a warm hug.  Something ached inside as he did so, tearing at him for having neglected it for so long.  Elora had found it first, but Freya had coaxed and cajoled it to life in her own special way.

"Don't worry," he added, gently cradling the back of her head as he imagined Griswold might have done for her as a child.  "I'll be here for as long as you need.  I'm not going anywhere.  It's all been so confusing, but it's about time I realized who and what I am.  I am Freyd.  I am your friend, and that this is where I belong."  Pulling back slightly, his forehead came to rest against hers, his eyes closed to savor the peace of the moment.  "Gaius is lucky to have you.  We all are."

Opening his eyes, he wiped away the last drips of her tears.

"And it's about time I did a far better job of showing those closest to me how much they mean and they matter.  Survival, alone, is just not enough."

Vanity Tag: @Elora @Raidou

Edited July 27, 2023 by Freyd

[Freya 0]

"Good," slowly pulling away from his arms, "Now that you're not a damaged puppy any more," chuckling, whipping her face from any more water works, "I need your help." Standing up right now, "I don't know how long we have before mine and Gaius wedding, but, I want to do something special, like mind blowing special for him." Turning her head up toward the sky, closing her eyes as the water hits softly against her face. For weeks now it's all she has thought about. What meal she would cook, where she would bring him, what they would do when they got there. Freya had absolutely nothing, nada... The one time she wanted to actually plan something, she could think of nothing. At this point, Freya would be pacing, walk one way as she was thinking, turn and walk another. 

"I am not good at the whole planning thing. I have always been a spur of the moment type of person." Glancing to Freyd, stopping suddenly where she stood. "I don't even have a wedding venue yet, or if anyone is actually coming." Pushing her bangs back, they stayed clinging to other hair chunks. "Go figure the one time I actually want to plan something, I can't..." Crossing her arms, a bit of a shiver being soaked. Glancing around now, walking to a tree near them and sitting under it to get cover from the water. Holding her arms tight around her chest, "I don't know why this is so hard. I came out here for inspiration in hopes that if I picked something up that I would have a light bulb moment or something..." Legs rest out in front of her, head against the trunk of the damp wood. "Please say you have some idea I can spark off of..." Looking to Freyd still sitting on the rock a few feet from her... 

[Freyd 0]

Freyd just stared at her, wondering how the conversation had just hopped on a plane, flown to Mars, evolved into its own life form and somehow come back to Earth to open its own taco stand.  As non-sequiturs went, this one was a doozy.

"You're getting married?"  His lizard brain was currently stuck in 'brrrt' territory. How much arm twisting had that required, and on a hurricane?  Did they even have elbows?!  His eyes narrowed, like he was struggling to process the very concept.

"You.  With Gaius?  Married?  Really?"  His inner Elora slapped the inside of the back of his head to jar the realization that he was being a total and insensitive ass again.  "Sorry.  Of course you're getting married."  Freyd couldn't help wonder if Gaius even knew this yet.  "It's just that you two always struck me more as the 'elope under the sacred gaze of St.Elvis' types.  Big, formal to-do's never struck me as either of your styles.  Combat boots on the neck of someone impersonating a Jehova's witness, sure, but white dress and frilly lace...?"  Even Montjoy and the cowl down around his shoulder both shook in denial.  "Can't you just launch him over the threshold of some ruined church somewhere, while being chased by a dark elf motorcycle gang?  I feel like your wedding should have chains, for some reason."

Blinking a few more times, he finally settled on something actionable: "You need to do it on a beach."

[Freya 0]

"Really, a gothic wedding gone bad?" Looking to Freyd very curiously. What kinda romance novels was he into... Made her think of Elora and what weird situation he got her into. "Yes, we are getting married, I told you weeks ago...months... " A twist of her head wonder if she really actually did talk to Freyd about it. Freya knew her father knew, nearly face planted his ass to the ground when he heard. Luckly she was there to prevent the staring daggers before they actually turned into daggers. "Now that I think about it maybe it was Sam or Kat or something that I told. Hmm..." Pulling her knees to her chest now, she was shivering a bit. Freya knew that she could just zap her clothing dry but she was trying really hard to do everything the normal way these days, at least the best she could. "I have already done the sun set beach scene, I want something more... Thought full maybe..." Thinking back to Gaius perposal, couldn't help but chuckle at the whole memory. 

The rain had started to lighten up a bit, ponding up through the trees that sprickled little droplets upon her cheeks. Without looking directly at him, a frown on her lips saying "Do you love Elora?" Started to think about how Gaius reacts to Freya, the small bit of bickering, but not being able to stand the though of being away from him. "I am just wondering cause I guess I want to make sure... I mean... I..." Wrapping her legs around her knees still against her chest. "Never mind..." putting her head to her arms now staring at Freyd. Thinking about that dream she had, DAM IT FREYD, I was over this... Freya saying it in her thought looking a bit of kilter now...

[Freyd 0]

Well, there went his one and only good idea.  And now his friend was in distress again.  Freyd could feel Montjoy glaring through him to do something.  Freya was so much an opposite to him with her overflowing emotions that it could sometimes be a struggle to understand where her head was at - just like Elora.  Truthfully, that was his problem.  It was her heart that needed his attention - just like Elora.  He groaned internally, having wisdom enough not to do so aloud.  'The answer is simple,' he told himself.  'I just need to do what Elora would need me to do.'  It sounded easy enough.

'Now... what would Elora need me to do?'

Montjoy silently face-palmed.

Summoning his inventory, Freyd searched for something that had worked once before and summoned a plain, grey woolen cloak.  It was the one he'd received when first arriving in Aincrad - the one he'd wrapped around Elora so may moons ago when she was in similar distress.  Images of an infernal carnival and player-killers on the loose flooded his mind.  They had huddled together for hours, falling asleep in their hiding place; a fond if terrifying memory.  A flick of his wrist flapped the cloak wide, enabling him to wrap it around his friend and over her head.  If this worked, he was totally imbuing this thing with every unique 'warm and cozy' buff he could find.

"Yes.  I love her."  It was an admission that had taken eons for the two of them to accept, and him to say aloud.  They both had their own challenges, but their friendship had helped them to overcome them together.  Freyd's friendship with Freya wasn't much different, he realized.  But she had Gaius. Could things have worked out differently if she hadn't?  He banished the thought outright.  It only complicated matters he was already out of his depths to understand. 

"It took me a long, long time to understand that I did - that I even could.  She needed that time too."  Reaching his arm around her, Freyd rubbed her shoulder providing whatever sense of warmth and comfort it might offer.  'Please don't smash my face,' he thought, genuinely worried that Freya's temper would flare and lash out over whatever all of this was.

"I have never doubted that you and Gaius were made for each other," he finally resolved, curious and trying to find the core of the matter.  "Why, now, do you suddenly seem to be?"

***
Vanity Tag: @Elora

[Freya 0]

Sitting there with a the cloak wrapped around her now, a hand in motion on her shoulder. Normally she would be just shrug him off, but let this happen this time. "All that dream talk made me think of the second chance Nisa gave me. What I had to do to get here..." pulling the fur together for warmth. "I killed all those people, yes it might of not been me directly, but it was my body doing it." Sitting there pondering, thinking out loud. It was cold, but with Freyd's help and not thinking about being soaked sorta helped. "I have spent so long from the day trying to get my life back together. I can't help to think thought what if I never got out of that cave..." Pushing her legs out from beneath her arms, a tear drips down her face. "What if I never met Gaius, where would I have ended up, would he be an orange player with Laughing Coffin?" The thoughts alone hurt, like a constent dagger being plunged through the heart. "What if I ended up with you, how would my life be different. Would I be a killer, orange and homeless..." Hands softly rested on her legs not looking at Freyd directly. "What if I never met you or Gaius, would I still be with Rin ignoring all contact with my sister and never know who my father was..."

A deep cracky breath, "What would my fate be if I never met anyone in Firm Anima... Would I be dead right now becuase I chose not to fight but to have a life not caring about what happened to me or others around me..." Another tear, wiping it away with her wrist. "Gaius told me to leave the past in the past and focus on the now, and all up till now I have." Closing her eyes now, pulling her legs into a criss cross position. Slow deep breath in, the same coming out. "I didn't know how much Tuatha helped me until he was gone..." Continued in a almost meditaive state trying to calm herself. 

 

[Freyd 0]

"'What if', doesn't matter."  Freyd's voice carried the calm of a stilled sea, the softness of fresh fallen snow and the measured cadence of serenity.  "I've spent my entire life running from 'what ifs' as if they were trying to force me down a path not of my choosing.  Then, in rage, I defied destiny in favour of imposing my will upon the world, all other considerations be damned."

A breath released like a puff of fog dancing in the rain.  These types of admissions were hard, raw and brutally honest.  They were the kind that spoke to a heart of a person, that core buried so deep down inside that most people weren't aware of it themselves.  "This is the thing behind all lies, Freyja.  It is the harshest most immutable truth of ourselves: that nothing that happens to us defines who we are.  There is no word to describe, no feeling that can capture it entirely.  It is an illusion we weave around ourselves and title 'them', 'the world' or 'reality.'  Look around.  None of it is actually you, or me."  Aincrad's digital existence only made the epiphany that much more poignant.  "What if, is an excuse."

Reaching his free hand around behind his head, Freyd tugged hard and tore the cowl that embodied so much of his own identity.  Thanks to Elora's efforts, it had already begun to fray.  Holding the sundered fabric in his hand, he raised it slowly to her face and dabbed her cheeks to wipe her tears away.

"Things have happened.  More things will happen.  You will endure them because you have the strength of mountains behind your eyes.  Not everyone could have endured what you did and kept their soul intact, but you did.  It wasn't all Tuatha, Freyja.  It was you.  As to Gaius," he paused and cast a downward glance at the revelation, "your love has the gifted sight of the fool, and the blunt, unfettered wisdom that goes with it.  Shakespeare would have liked to meet him, I think.  He sees you for who you are.  Loves you, for who you choose to be, and was saved by it himself."

Staring at the soggy rag symbolic of his own past journey, Freyd remained pensive a moment longer.  He had come here to confront his own demons and faced those of another instead.  Yet, the lesson remained the same: "You will be whoever you choose to be, for better or for worse and to whatever end, so choose wisely for yourself and those who matter to you most.  Cleave to that choice and fight for it with every breath you draw.  Be the you behind the facades and trappings of destiny, because it is the only truth that does or will ever matter."

Running his thumb along the broken line of his own outward shell, Freyd faced his own advice with equal ardor and sincerity.

"I should probably face that too," he said, and deliberately cast the cowl aside.

Edited August 8, 2023 by Freyd

[Freya 0]

"See that," readjust to turn to look at Freyd, his hood was pulled off now. That black hair sparkled in the moonlight as the rain from above finally dies down to a sprinkle. "That right there is why I became your friend in the first place," speaking as the takes the cloth of herself and holds it in her lap now. "You always know what to say and any given time, even if it isn't intended." Giving a smile now, "You care beyond belief, even when you're a badass killing machine on the field." Setting a hand on his knee, "Those emotions are what make you human Freyd." 

Pulling her hand away as she gazes to the stary skies above them, "You are right, and its the same thing that Gaius told me long ago. Focus on the here and now or you will get no where in life." Setting the fir over both their laps to cover them as a blanket, "When I am with you Freyd, I feel like everything is a calculated equation, simular to what Raidou gives." Glancing to him now, "But when I am with Gaius I feel safe and ispired like I can do anything, he would be right there with me making sure that I was okay." A smile placing both hands looking to the stars again, "Me and Gaius found one another at the worst part of our lives and some how we came out on the other side together." A deep slow breath, "You are my best friend second to Gaius of course but without you, I don't think I would know where I would have ended up." 

Right then she pulls Freyd into a hug, whispering "Thank you..." After a moment she does pull away but stays under the fir. "I don't think I want to fight anymore, I just think I want to live life how it is and have faith that others can get us out of here." Head turns slightly with a smirk, "You just couldn't help being on the list could ya, I saw that raid scheduling teams."

Edited August 10, 2023 by Freya

[Freyd 0]

Feeling a bit like a favourite stuffy, Freyd just accepted and played the part.  It was what his friend needed, and she had long been a better friend to him than he had the right to expect or deserved. 

"I...errr...thank you," he finally added, oddly humbled by her words and taking them to his tiny, budding heart.  Freyd wasn't really used to all the touching.  Elora was one thing, his instincts had kicked in there, but Freya's were less expected.  He didn't mind, but had no notion of how best to react, especially with one known to be so volatile as she.  Maybe having a little sister growing up might have helped.  Instead, he felt like he was playing the part of an overly wordy fortune cookie, even his he meant what he said.  

"If that's what you think is best."  How could he possibly judge?  She'd certainly done her part, and there was no denying that she'd earned her rest.  That just wasn't for him.  She called it right with mention of the raid.

"It wasn't my intention to sign up.  I showed up just to see if the meeting was as bad as the last one: everyone speculating blindly.  It was heading that way, then I noticed the complete lack of tanks among the group, and Kat and Elora walked in."  He sighed.  "I couldn't just walk away anymore.  Now I need to figure out how to make myself into a wannabe Raidou in a matter of days."

Taking a deep breath, it left him in slowly, regulated to keep him centred and focused.  It was the whole point of the meditation he'd been trying to observed before Freya's arrival.

"They may be frontliners, and strong, but... I don't know.  It didn't seem right to let them face whatever's in there on their own.  Someone has to stand between them and harm.  Even if it's someone who normally sits at the squishier end of the scale."

[Freya 0]

Freya couldn't help but chuckle a bit. The thought of Freyd being Raidou was a huge demand, but It is what Gaius would do for her. "I get it, you want to protect the people that you love, and I would hate to see..." Freya didn't finish that sentence, she knew that Freyd was feeling it too. Probably the whole reason he joined in the first place. Looking Freyd up and down for a moment, "To be honest your already half way there. You have the determination and the will to keep others safe. That, I think, makes a great tank. You are really fast too, so if you get a little mit on your bones I think you'll be fine." Pinching his arm lightly through his robe. 

"Without having the full Firm Anima team there it will be different, but with the people you were teamed up with, just work together and pay attentions to your surrounds and you will be fine." Thinking of the last raid battle, the flying ship, the rush to get others to safely, it was intense and brutal but they all made it out alive. "Trust in you team, and the other frontliners, granid they may not all know what their doing but believe in the people that believe in you." Giving a small smile, "Plus if you don't come back to me I will find a way to bring your sconny ass back her just so that I can kick your ass..." glaring with a small smirk across her lips. After a moment she opens her HUD to check the time, after midnight... 

Getting to her feet now, placing the blanket on his lap now. "I better get back though, Gaius is gonna be sooooo mad, that or asleep." Cringing at the thought she raises a hand down to Freyd, "I trust that you will keep the girls safe, and that everyone will come home safe. Now let go eat, I can wip something up before bed." Holding out a hand to her best friend, this might be the last time she sees him before going off to the big battle so she wanted to make the most of the night while she still could. Freya would make it up to Gaius tomorrow night.

[Freyd 0]

Taking her hand, Freyd lingered for a moment, looking deep into her eyes.  Whether gauging her well-being or searching for something else couldn't be told.  The Whisper could still remain frustratingly inscrutable when the mood struck, despite the Coriolis wind of emotions burgeoning within his apparently scrawny frame.  A quick and sudden tug put him on his feet, his gaze still beaming into hers with the same defiant determination she and the other were accustomed to seeing.  "Everyone will come home safe.  I... promise."

Bold.  A lie?  Maybe. 

A good lie?  Probably. 

The right thing to say?  Absolutely.

"Go.  Be with Gaius.  Put your doubts behind you, and make up another batch of honey buns, will you?  I'm running low after all this darting around for raid prep stuff."  With a wink, Freyd stepped into shadow and was gone.  By various circumspect means, each had helped the other.  They always did.  That was what friends did, and they were of the very bestest sort.

[Freya 0]

Watching her friend vanish with a smile, wondering if she had actually got him past whatever was going on. In reality, Freyd had helped her through some un-thought issues himself. Things that she didn't know was bothering her. Freya missed those talks with her friend, and he was right about damn near everything. Freya couldn't be afraid of the what if's and she needed to stop living in the passed. Forward was all that needed to be done now. With a yawn, today found itself not very eventful with gathering anything but insightful on another note. It was rounding very late and she knew that Gaius would be sleeping by now, maybe not and just waiting for her to come home and get angry because she blew off their date. That would be needed to be made up for but she was exhausted, it would have to wait until the earnly morning to create anything that she was planning in that big brain of hers. 

Walking carefully into her shared place, it was dark and Gaius wasn't there. He must of stopped waiting, a frown appears on her face. Grabbing a glass, pouring water from the tap, with a deep breath, Freya leans against the kitchen counter. Opening her HUD she realized that she had missed some messages from both her sister and Sam? They both read that food needed to be prepped for wedding of there own doing. Her heart warmed to the fact that Raidou and Eruda were finally moving forward with their lives and Sam finally got her head out of ass and was going to get wedding tonight... "Tonight...Shit" looking at the time it was damn near 11:15. Freya had 45 minutes to get something made and head to the place in question. Chugging the glass of water and setting in on the counter behind her, it looked like it was going to be a very late night, maybe no sleep at all. Sighing, as she starts to brew some coffee. Prep was in order and she wasn't going to let her firend down. Freya starts to run around the kitchen like a mad fool, trying to get something made for Sam's wedding...