[OP-F2] Grief Is the Thing with Feathers

[Kiru 0]

(PM for invite, please!) 

The prospect of dying by suicide always seemed a bit dramatic to me. Yet, here I found myself on a ledge on the second floor. 

I glanced behind me, no one was really watching. I thought of Daeron for a brief moment. His final message bounced around in my head sometimes when I felt similarly to how I felt now, “To all of those who suffer like me, let me bring your burdens with me outside of this world.” 

“If only it were that easy,” I spoke dryly. I had seen a lot of death during my time here, but none felt as surreal as his. A small frustrated sigh escaped from me, and I stepped off of the ledge to the ground. After my boots hit the bricks I placed my arms over the side of Aincrad and stared out. My eyes scanned for the edge of this realm, but there truly seemed to be no end. I looked down and began to think about how many seconds- minutes it must have taken before Daeron finally hit something that registered his player as inactive. I shivered slightly.  

The thing I felt most sour towards was the untreated grief and the panic that washed over me when I thought of those I lost along the way. This anxiety was furthered by the fact that my body in this game was not even real, yet the same could happen to me. Sometimes I wondered if it was all a lie, and that if we died in here we would wake up in our beds safe. That thought alone pissed me off. However, no surprise here, but I liked tormenting myself with these thoughts. After all, who would carry on their legacy if not me? I did not think of myself as someone who was worthy to hold the memories of these people, but I was likely the last one still here by sheer luck. 

Memories of Daeron came flooding back to me. His eyes. His smile. I remember how happy he had been at the Azure Brigade Holiday Party. That was probably the last moment I felt comfort in the arms of many. Of course, along this train of thought my mind always wandered to Zelrius. I remembered how his eyes softened after he turned his tracking skill off; he had worn it for such a long time it seemed as though a million pound weight had come off of him. I remember his courage when I had none. Most importantly, I felt how incredibly misunderstood he had been. To most, he was an ass, sure. He was a Player Killer, a boss fight extraordinaire, and successfully carried one of the strongest guilds on his back. His accomplishments flourished within the hate from outsiders and close friends. The thing about watching someone reach the top is you’re always wondering when they are going to fall. For Zelrius, his end came from someone we both knew. 

“Fuck,” I whispered to myself. I took a deep breath in only to realize I had been crying. I exhaled. Part of me will always hate Oikawa for killing Zelrius. After Keith disappeared (and probably died,) I was on a rampage, and pretty close to losing it. For lack of better words, I was dangerous. Looking back, Zelrius was one of the only people who treated me with any sense of normalcy. He matched my disgusting attitude and poor outlook with fighting words of his own. I think somewhere along the way we began to trust each other, and by god respected ourselves too. Despite the opinions of others, and our initial mutual hatred for one another, I could not think of two people spinning so perfectly within each other’s orbit. Much like grief, when two stars collide there’s panic. I felt that’s what happened to me when Zelrius was killed- I became a blue straggler. 

 

Spoiler

Name: Kiru 
True Tier: 2
Level: 20
Paragon Level: 0
HP: 400/400
EN: 132/132

Stats:
Damage: ?
Mitigation: 3?
Accuracy: 2?
Evasion: 1?
Battle Healing: ?

Equipped Gear:
Weapon/Armor/Trinket:
- Cupid's Wings +3MIT
Armor/Trinket:
- Banshee Shiv +3DMG 
Shield/Armor/Trinket:
- Cold Reflection +2ACC, +1EVA

Combat Mastery:
- 

Combat Shift:
- 

Familiar Skill:
-

Custom Skill:
-

Skills:

Extra Skills:

Inactive Extra Skills:

Addons:
Mods:

Inactive Mods:

Battle Ready Inventory:
- Recovery Crystal II
Effect: HP Recovery Crystal, RARE  HP Recovery 2
Description: This Crystal glows a soft blue and feels cool to the touch, when you use it you feel as though you just stepped out of a shower, aahhh refreshing!

-Antidote Potion, Salve, Tierless/Uncommon, Antidote 1 

- Sand Armor Potion, T1, Uncommon, Functions like a Parry for the first attack the user sustains after consumption. Can stack with Parry to reduce incoming damage up to 75%

Housing Buffs:

Guild Hall Buffs:

Scents of the Wild Totem:

Wedding Ring:

Crafting Profession:

Gathering Profession:
 

 

Edited January 20 by Kiru

[Baldur 0]

"It's a long way down." A voice called out to Kiru as she stood near the edge of the floor. "I can certainly think of better ways to go than stepping off the edge."

The blue eyes of a gaijin samurai surveyed the young girl. He stood roughly six feet tall, larger and broader of shoulder than the typical kid that was running around the game. He was obviously a gaijin, probably American features, but he had long dark brown hair and wore distinctly samurai kimono in the colors of sunset, but with a sky blue haori jacket with white flames flickering up from the hems. At his left hip were two katana; his hand rested on them casually and in an un-threatening way. His face wore a friendly, but world weary smile. Like Kiru, he had seen the darkest side of Aincrad and survived to tell the tale.

"I'm sure there are people you miss... me too. And you may have lost some people... as I have as well. I've seen friends go over the edge, I've seen them die to other players, and I've seen them die to monsters. If you'd like... we could talk a bit? Maybe a little further away from the edge?"

With a flourish, Baldur took off his haori and laid it on the ground like a picnic blanket. He pulled off his katanas and laid them on the ground to the side of him where reaching for them would be awkward, but they were also in a safe zone. He then sat cross legged on the ground and adjusted his hakama.

"I'm Baldur, by the way. What can I call you?"

He had been to the <<Monument of Life>> more times than he wanted to count, and so many names had been crossed out for jumping off the edge. He didn't want to find another one there. Could he tell when a new one was added to the list? He wasn't sure. His list of names to visit was long enough as is though. Thousands of people had died, but he would keep track of his dozen.

Spoiler

Name: Baldur True Tier: 10 Level: 34 Paragon Level: 65 HP: 980/980 EN: 132/132 Stats: Damage: 23 Mitigation: 78 Accuracy: 5 Evasion: 2 Battle Healing: 49 Loot Die: 5 Stealth Rating: -2 AA KEEN: 1 REC: 8 FLN: 8 BLI: 32/-20 BRN: 56 FRZ: 64 Equipped Gear: Weapon/Armor/Trinket: - Etheral Tether - Zanshin AA/Keen/Freeze/Burn Armor/Trinket: - Jade Magatama - Acc/Acc/Eva/Recovery Shield/Armor/Trinket: - Monstsuki Haori - Mit/Mit/Eva/Recovery Combat Mastery: - Combat Mastery: Damage R3 Combat Shift: - TECH Shift Familiar Skill: - Custom Skill: - Skills: - Battle Healing R5 - Charge - Energist - Extended Weight Limit - Fighting Spirit - Katana R5 - Light Armor R5 - Quick Change - Searching R5 Extra Skills: - Concentration - Meditation - Forgotten King's Authority - Parry Inactive Extra Skills: - Survival Addons: - Ferocity - Precision - Resolve - Reveal - Stamina Mods: - Detect - Emergency Recovery - Meticulous Inactive Mods: Battle Ready Inventory: - Basic Teleport Crystal x7 - Group Heal Crystal x7 - Hypnosis x1 - Medium Vitality Snack x5 - Misperception x1 - Safeguard Potion x2 - Warden's Fury x1 - Zanshin or Muramasa x1 Housing Buffs: - Bedroom: -1 energy cost for the first two expenditures of each combat - Basic Kitchen: Increase the effectiveness of a single food item consumed in a thread by +1 T1 slot. This can exceed normal Cook enhancement caps. Ex: A perfect T2 MIT food gives 35 MIT instead of 30. - Storage Closet: +1 Battle Ready Inventory Slot - Dining Room: Turn 2 identical food items (same quality, tier, & enhancements) into a Lesser Feast. A Lesser Feast contains 4 portions of the food items sacrificed. Lesser Feasts created this way cannot be used outside of the thread they are created. Limit 1 item created per thread. - Living Room: Increases out of combatHP regen by (5 * Tier HP) and decreases full energy regen to 2 Out of Combat Posts. - Fishing Pond: +2 Fishing EXP per fishing attempt - Mega Slime Farm: +10% EXP to a thread. Limit one use per month. Must be used on a player's first post in a thread. Cooldown begins counting down when used in a post. Guild Hall Buffs: Scents of the Wild Totem: Wedding Ring: Crafting Profession: - Appraising[exp] R1 Gathering Profession: - Fishing[exp] R1

 

Edited January 9 by Baldur

[Kiru 0]

Ascribing Zelrius and I as metaphorical stars created a visual in my head. This grand delusion allowed me to dissociate slightly from the harsher reality that he was gone. In this instance we would be able to collide together- and sad as it is, I would survive and burn brighter carrying the light for both of us. However, it did not really feel like that at the moment. 

In the midst of uncontrollable tears and a desperate attempt to keep Zelrius alive in my head, I hardly noticed someone behind me, let alone speaking. I was in the safe zone, so I was not necessarily in any form of immediate danger. For as long as I could remember I treaded closely to towns to avoid meeting the kiss of death out of sheer shame that I would not continue on the memories of my comrades. 

Other people did not annoy me as much as they used to due to the fact that I did a bit of growing up. That being said, it still irked me slightly that it seemed to be when I was being miserable that someone appeared from the shadows to ruin it. Why does it feel like this dumb ass game is constantly fucking with me? I breathed inwards and held it for a bit. I counted until I lost count and then exhaled. As elementary as it sounded, deep breaths typically helped more than they should. My long fingernails gripped the brick along the ledge. The twinge of annoyance I felt was slowly burning inside of me. Even so, I put on my listening ears and turned around. 

“I am not a danger to myself or others,” I stated, matter-of-factly. I narrowed my eyes and looked the player up and down. My initial impression was he was a big dude. At this point he was sitting, but I could tell he was not someone who lost easily. If this were years ago, I might have been cocky enough to challenge him to a fight simply for speaking to me; I probably would have won, too. Presently, I was in no state to fight with anything. I couldn’t even battle grief effectively. His swords were laid to the side of him. That’s…odd, I thought to myself. Is he trying to sell me his katanas? I tilted my head and crossed my arms over my chest. 

I considered lying to this man for a moment. It would be safer that way, but a tiny part of me felt a mutual trust. "Kiru," I said, giving nothing more and nothing less than my name. 

[Baldur 0]

Kiru. Have I heard that name before?

The gaijin samurai considered her name for a long moment, but couldn't seem to place where he may or may not have heard it. Some part of him recognized it as a name of days gone by, some part of the old crew, but he couldn't associate her face or her name with anything in particular.

Just how long have we really been in here? I feels like years at this point.

"It is nice to meet you Kiru-san." He gave her a seated bow, and then a friendly smile. He gestured for her to sit on his jacket turned picnic blanket then gestured, summoning his menu and sushi rolls started manifesting between them.

"I am glad you weren't planning on jumping, and I'm sorry I made that assumption. I've.... seen a lot of jumpers, and you look like the weight of the dead bears a heavy burden on you."

He thought about asking her who she had lost, but he figured it was better to offer before he asked, just as one gave their own name before asking for another's.

"I've lost quite a few myself. I still just... the first time.. I dream of feathers..." he looked away from her for a moment, then back and his ocean blue eyes were filled with grief, but also compassion and determination. "He and I weren't particularly close, but we were getting there... the loss of potential, I think, can make death so hard. All that unrealized hope and dreams. The plans for the future that now never will be... they still haunt me."

Baldur reached down and picked up a roll of sushi and then popped it into his mouth, covering it with the sleeve of his haori while he chewed.

"Please, help youself to some. My guild companion Snow made them, and she's an excellent sushi chef... in here at least."

Edited January 9 by Baldur

[Kiru 0]

There was a moment of silence between me saying my name and this man, Baldur, in which recognition seemed to occur. I admit, I was hoping that somehow he knew me. I was a little disappointed when this moment faded and it was clear he did not know me. There was no part of me that recognized him either. 

He then bowed and smiled whilst gesturing to me to sit down. There’s no way in hell I am sitting down, I thought to myself as he began to procure sushi from an unknown place. What is it with this dude… His offer for me to join him was not enticing to me, seeing as there are a lot of ways to harm a player in a safe zone. I recalled an incident in which another player slipped something into my drink without my noticing. One second I was in a tavern, the next I was far outside of the safezone. I remember being hit with not only embarrassment, but shame that this could happen to me. This was a few years ago, and I’ve been weary since. 

“Jumpers, huh? Is that what we are calling them these days?” my voice delivered the words flat to Baldur. Do I look that bad? I thought to myself and bit my lip slightly. I did not think my appearance really screamed that I was in any kind of trouble. However, my eyes might have been puffy from crying a little. He then began to explain his relationship to grief with me. I rolled my eyes in my head. For a man this big, the emotions he seemed capable of expressing to a stranger did not really sit right with me. The trust we shared for a moment began to dissipate as I realized he could be friendly because he was being coy- I was in such a vulnerable state he could probably kick my ass off the edge if he wanted. 

Loss of potential… Zel’s parting smile seared itself into my brain. I physically shook the thought out of my head, “Who?” I asked, referring to the person he lost. I waved my hand at the sushi gesture, "No thanks."

[Baldur 0]

She seemed to be wary of him now. That was a shame as he was doing everything he could to try and be welcoming and accommodating. To try and help a fellow player work through their grief as well. But he wasn't going to let a little resistance bring his spirits down. Suspicion could mean PK. It was possible that's how she lost someone. Well, she hadn't been the only one.

“Who?”

She finally asked him. Well, at least she wasn't going to walk away. He took another piece of sushi to give him a moment. He could still see them... the feathers. A whole raid being flung up into their one after another, falling back to the ground. Stunning them. Giving no chance for reprieve. A faint shimmer of tears and a shower of crystals, not from a boss this time. And then another, a brilliant flash of red hair and that chime. That bloody chime. Every time a player or creature shattered into shards, that accursed sound.

"The first one? His name was Azide. I watched him die while there was nothing I could do. It was the... floor 14 boss fight."

So much changed that day. The anger, the grief, the rage, and sadness. Everyone had their ways of dealing with his death. He had meant to much to so many. And just like that, he was gone. His guild was gone. His friends scattered to the winds. The Assault Team had been injured in a way that they had only just finally recovered from. 22 floors it took before it felt like the phantom of that death, and the chain reactions it had caused, the PKs it had caused, the betrayals it had caused, and the factions it had caused... could be left in the past. Factions. Factions would be the death of everyone in the tower.

"Now, after ever floor boss raid, I head down to the Monument of Life, and take a moment to remember everyone that died pushing the frontline forward, and pushing me forward."

The large man looked away from Kiru for a moment, willing the tears away. He took a long, ragged breath to center himself. He dabbed the corner of his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, and then turned to face Kiru again. His own eyes a little red to match her own. 15 names. 15 lives. How long had he made that solitary march?

"I guess I should expect that being on the Frontline means losing people, but it's never gotten easier, either."

[Kiru 0]

Upon my question he took another piece of sushi. Metaphorically, the cold demeanor of my question might have been tough to swallow it seemed. I could tell this was a hard topic for him to think about despite his outward sturdiness. 

Azide, I thought the name seemed vaguely familiar. It was similar to walking past a smell from your childhood but you just couldn’t place where it was coming from. For my own sake, I allowed the thought to leave my head. Baldur’s countenance shifted as he explained the cause of death for his friend. It was during a boss raid? This sentence alone did not make me necessarily trust Baldur, but the small pain behind his voice seemed genuine enough to the point that I relaxed a little bit. Ah, I’m getting soft… Seeing this large person shed a tear whilst eating sushi on the ground was strangely poetic. I looked away from him and shared a moment of silence to allow space for the two of us to recall those we lost. 

“I try not to go down there too often… the monument of life depresses me a bit. I understand the concept of it, but seeing all of those names doesn’t fill me with any kind of joy or remembrance of comrades. It reminds me that this game is twisted and likes to poke fun; the names on there seem like a mockery” 

I leaned against the ledge now. “I was a group leader for the Floor 10 boss raid, and one of my teammates died due to my inability to lead. Another died because the raid boss knew Alkor was low on health,” I sighed and then thought of the Floor 12 boss raid. Then it clicked, I knew Azide because I was the leader for his group. I glanced slightly at Baldur. 

“...I was also a group leader for the Floor 12 boss raid. Azide was in my group” I closed my eyes. That was my first time back on the frontlines since Rue died along with Alkor. It was the quickest boss raid I was pretty sure; Ssendom cut it in half in one blow after my miss. I remember feeling relieved that no one died under my care. “He was a nice guy," I offered. 
 

[Baldur 0]

Baldur's eye opened wider when Kiru said she knew Azide and had been a member of the Frontline. Baldur knew almost everyone that had been on the Front, except for those very hazy first days before he had really become active outside of the lower floors. But he did remember Hydra, the battle that killed Rue and Alkor.

"You were there for the Hydra then." an almost excited smile flickered across his face for a moment at the realization of connection. "I wasn't able to go to that one, but I became a merchant so that I could sell healing potions and field rations to the raid. Then I worked hard to join the Azure Brigade. But that was the fight that Alkor died in.. you were there for that?"

He never did figure out what really went on there. Alkor was one of only a handful of people that had managed to pull a Lazarus, but the others who had died at boss fights had not. Would that they could understand what happened and bring Azide back.

"After that, the Brigade had a fight with Mari's guild, and I was told we were skipping the next fight, so I went and trained with Keith for a bit, just before he decided he was done with the frontlines and wandered off."

Suddenly the gaijin samurai's eyebrows furrowed.

"Have you seen Alkor since the boss fight? You know he's come back from the dead, right?"

He realized how strange his words sounded, so he tried to soften his expression. "I didn't ask him the detail since that seemed kinda rude, but he is alive. He fought in the most recent boss fight with Lessa."

He waved his hand again, he wouldn't believe himself saying those words. He wouldn't have believed it had he not seen the man.

"Any sane person wouldn't believe me though, but you can message him. If you go by the Monument, his name is no longer crossed out."

[Kiru 0]

I peeked my eyes open and looked down at Baldur when he began to talk about the Hydra boss from Floor 10. He seemed to speak with an emotion that I placed somewhere between pride and excitement. A tiny smirk appeared upon me. I was so young- too young, to be participating in a floor raid. The fact I was a leader during not one, but two battles was astounding to me. It certainly did nothing to curb my cockiness. This smirk disappeared instantly when Baldur mentioned Azure Brigade… that he was a member. 

My hand instinctively twitched towards my dagger on my hip. We’re in a safe zone” I reassured myself, but still felt a panic itching through my body. Nothing ever good came of someone mentioning that guild nowadays, and this meeting seemed to be calculated for it to be coincidence. As this man kept speaking, the anxiety began to travel into my stomach and I felt like I was going to vomit. Mari? Keith? Alkor…Lessa? All of those names swam in my brain and left me dizzy. He was insinuating that Alkor was somehow still alive, that he was in Azure, and knew Keith. Something was off here, really off. 

With what probably looked like a failed attempt at composure, I stood straight with my hand on my hip still, "Are you here to kill me? It's not beneficial to either of us to lie, so cut the shit. I watched Alkor die with my own two eyes, and Keith..." 

My eyes searched his, "Did you murder Keith, too?"    
 

[Baldur 0]

Baldur had expected a reaction of disbelief out of Kiru for telling her that Alkor was alive. It had been his own reaction to finding out as well. He did not expect her to confront him and move her hand towards her hip where her dagger was. His eyes widened at her response, but he made no move to defend himself. Baldur knew they were in a safe zone, and he knew he was powerful enough to be confident in his ability to handle any thread that would come his way. Players just weren't as scary as they once were. He knew how fragile life was in Aincrad, but he also knew how to make the system work as well for him as anyone else.

When she asked if he was here to kill her, or if he had killed Keith, his expression grew confused.

"Why would anyone want to kill you? I know you haven't been to the Monument of Life recently, but neither of their names are crossed out. They're both still alive last I checked, and that was very recently."

His swords were still positioned in such a way that even if he wanted to, he could not grab them and attack her before she would be able to get away. Conversely it meant she would be able to attack him first even had he made a move against her with them.

"It's fine to not believe me. Message Alkor yourself. He knows who I am. And who I am, is perhaps the single person least likely to murder you or anyone in the entire tower. I am the guild leader of Jacob's Ladder. Jomei, Hirru, Zandra, Macradon, Lessa, Crozeph, Alkor, they were all there. Almost the Entire Assault team has fought at my side at one point or another. I am known by people, so you don't have to take my word for it, you can ask anyone you'd like."

His words weren't confrontational or challenging, he was composed. His words were kind, as one might expect from helping someone who had just become injured try and bear weight on their leg for the first time, even though they didn't want to. If she was nervous, it was because she had no idea who he was, and if she knew, she wouldn't be nervous. The best thing he could do was find a name she could trust and get her to feel comforted through their associate. 

Based on her reaction it was clear that maybe things didn't go well with @Alkor the last time she crossed paths with him. Perhaps they were ex-lovers, or he had just been somebody that she used to know.

"Not only is my cursor green, but I have never even threatened another player with my weapon. I don't do PvP. I may be judge, and I may sometimes be jury, but I am never the executioner."

[Kiru 0]

The anticipation was killing me, but I held my eyes straight onto his. He looked confused, or was at least acting confused. He then questioned who would have wanted to kill me, and my eyes wandered for a moment. Opal challenged me awhile ago and seemed very set on making sure I died. I pissed off a lot of people. I considered for a second whether or not Oikawa’s intention all that time ago was to kill me after Zelrius. He was too close to everything, I recalled the long list of people that hated Azure Brigade, or hated my status in the guild enough to try and hurt me for it. 

His name…Keith’s name isn’t crossed out? My mouth hung open slightly- I was in shock. Alkor and Keith were somehow still alive, according to this Baldur fellow. Keith had been missing for so long that I just assumed he had died and never confirmed it. Zelrius had told me to stop looking for him as well. I always figured Zel knew something I didn’t, but I never considered that he might be protecting me from the truth of it all. Maybe Keith never actually liked me? The thought left a bad taste in my mouth.  During the time in which we met, I was on top of the world and likely amongst the strongest players in the game. There now seemed to be a very real possibility that Keith was using me. I felt pathetic for thinking about Keith with such a yearning need for closeness for so long. Keith’s story about putting the game in my locker at school in the real world was too perfect, but I always thought I deserved a bit of perfection. The inclination that it was all a facade deeply disappointed me; it meant that Zelrius was the only one that was trying to protect me all this time. 

Baldur spoke again, this time naming a bunch of people I had either met briefly or was connected to somehow. It was astonishing the amount of detail he brought up because it was just enough to make me feel a little at ease. However, I still felt an anxious buzz inside due to the years of uncertainty and mixed feelings of this new information.

Jacob’s Ladder… that sounds familiar… the more Baldur spoke, the more I started to believe him. “Is Oikawa still a member of your guild?” I asked. While awaiting a response I opened my PM and hovered over @Alkor 

Spoiler

If you're still here, can you meet me on F2 and confirm whether or not you know this man- Baldur? 

I hit send, unsure of whether it would even go through or if he would receive it. "A bit ago you said you joined the Azure Brigade? I was a member, and pretty close to the leader and everyone in that guild" I once again paused, "I think I might want to believe you, but some things aren't adding up with me. Either you're messing with me, or you really don't know who I am" I wasn't sure which one was worse for me because one threatened my life, and the other threatened my ego. 

[Alkor 0]

The notification flashed before his eyes as he hefted the blade from the still free-flowing stream of red pixels. Fragments of data coded to look like flesh, blood, bone, and sinew had decomposed rapidly in the final moments after he carved the behemoth creature in twain; but Alkor did not seem to sweat from the effort. There was a slight frown on his lips.

Guess that's the limit of how far I can get with these enemies...

Frustration was coming to the apex only to find that the summit was, in reality, higher than he had originally thought. The difference was that instead of facing his own reflection, he'd started to gaze out into the world around him. Bonds forged with others, and the struggles and trials they'd faced together had shown Alkor much greater enemies to conquer on his tireless, endless quest to improve. Rather than cutting down these foes and feeling empty, he glut himself on them until they no longer satisfied him.

Then, as he had done now countless times, he had been forced to search for new prey. But that suited him fine. At least his enemies were clear now. At least there was victory to be found. 

When he'd been fighting against himself, every day had felt like a failure. Compared to that, even this small frustration felt like nothing. He let out a sigh of contentment as he tapped the notification and opened the message, equal parts confused and interested when he learned the name of the sender.

Now, that was a name he'd not heard in... many, many moons.

His brow furrowed as he read the short, albeit direct message and saw the name Baldur. Unexpected. Those were two people he wasn't expecting to see occupying the same space. But in this world, nothing was completely unrealistic.

If she's asking for a favor from me, I can't rightly refuse, he thought, sheathing Witchfang across his back. The Stygian armor that he wore swallowed even the moonlight rather than reflecting it, leaving only the specter of his blonde hair as he made his way back toward the floor hub. 

I owe it to Zel.

Unlike Alkor, the Blood Bucaneer hadn't been granted a second chance at life. Zelrius hadn't had many friends. In another reality, Alkor would have probably been convinced to join the Azure Brigade. They had been friends, if a bit rough with each other. Zel had pushed Alkor to get stronger, even if he never saw him as a rival. Zelrius didn't look at the people he saw as beneath him.

But he did encourage and foster their growth. That was how- and why- Alkor had finally decided to join the Frontlines. Because...

If you're strong, you have an obligation to use that strength. If you don't, you're wasting your potential. You might as well be dead.

That was just the kind of guy he was. Not always nice, but always honest. Even if it was brutal. Alkor had respected that.

And he'd internalized it, to some degree.

"Floor 2," he intoned quietly as he stepped onto the teleporter, and within moments, he was spirited away.

Quote

To: Kiru

"High Fields of Crossing. Twenty minutes. I'll be waiting.

 

[Baldur 0]

Quote

"A bit ago you said you joined the Azure Brigade? I was a member, and pretty close to the leader and everyone in that guild. I think I might want to believe you, but some things aren't adding up with me. Either you're messing with me, or you really don't know who I am"

Baldur quirked an eyebrow at her once again.

"I have no reason to mess with you. Your name sounds familiar, but I don't remember you from my time in the Brigade."

He let out a soft sigh. This conversation was a rollercoaster of emotion. He had hoped that opening up to her would let her open up and work through the emotions that were weighing on her, instead he had opened his wounds anew and she only seemed to feel aggressive and paranoid. He could not entirely blame her, he remembered those days. PKing was much more rampant then, aggression between factions was more common then. There were times when meeting other players outside of a safe zone was always a risk. He also needed to consider while he didn't feel like he needed to be afraid of a random player, that wasn't the case for everyone. Not everyone was in the assault team and faced down their mortality on the regular. She couldn't trust him just because he said he was trustworthy.

"Yes, Oikawa is still technically a member of the guild. He helped found it, and convinced me to be a part of it, but he's... dealing with personal issues and has stepped back from both the assault team and the guild. I haven't seen him in a long time. I send him a message every once in a while to make sure he's still alive, but he doesn't leave his house much right now."

The samurai seemed sad at the mention of one of his close friends in self imposed exile. He had been close to helping Oikawa take ownership of the murder of Zel, even though he had been manipulated by Opal, and she in turn by those in Laughing Coffin, he had worked with him, and Mari as well, to help them see the Frontline as a form of penance and redemption. They had both turned the corner, but had both decided to take a step back, along with Shield, and leave the guild to Baldur alone. It was why he was re-establishing the new pillars of the guild. Together they would get the guild back into the shape and push the mission it was meant to serve. Waking the sleepers... getting all the players out of this prison.

[Kiru 0]

Baldur raised an eyebrow at my explanation of my time in the Azure guild. It was nonthreatening, coupled with a sigh that seemed exhaustive and pensive to me. A message then appeared on my HUD from Alkor. That was quick, I thought. I was not sure what I was expecting, given I thought he was dead from the boss raid. I was used to the concept of people answering my messages rather quickly, but I could not remember the last time I messaged someone. I avoided the urge to sift through my old messages and read Alkor’s instead while Baldur spoke about Oikawa’s involvement. 

“Is that right” I firmly with no room for emotion in either regard. Oikawa was enigmatic to me at the moment. There were feelings of deep, deep hatred that festered within me over the years. However, there was also a deep admiration and love that I could not understand. Either way, he was also missing from Baldur’s peripheral, so a question mark he would remain. I felt my eyebrow twitch slightly, “kindly relay that he would benefit from avoiding me” 

I massaged my eyebrow’s twitch and lowered my other hand from its defensive positioning. “Alkor would like to meet at the High Fields of Crossing soon” I was trying not to seem visibly annoyed, but this conversation was getting stickier by the minute. Additionally, Alkor was having me change locations. There was still a chance that this was a trap. Maybe Alkor is pissed at me about leading him to his death? I considered the possibility that Alkor and Baldur were both pissed at me- would my time come to an end from two ex-Azure members? Now that would be ironic. 

[Baldur 0]

When Kiru asked that he relay to Oikawa that he would benefit from avoiding her, both of Baldur's eyes raised, though only slightly. He wasn't surprised people would ostracize him for being a PKer, but there was something more personal about this Kiru. He only nodded in confirmation of her request. When she relayed that Alkor wanted to meet somewhere else, Baldur nodded. He closed up the bento box of sushi, slowly stood up and shook out his coat, then threw it back around his shoulders. He picked up his katana, but put them back into his inventory, instead of equipping them. It felt a bit odd to not wear them; he always had the katana at his side, but he wanted Kiru to feel less on guard around them, so he put them away.

"Then let us be off." He began to walk towards the field slowly, letting her either lead the way or walk beside him, or perhaps she wanted him to walk in front so she could keep an eye on him. Any option would be fine with him.

"I understand from Lessa that he has changed a bit from the old days. Grown as a person. I didn't really know Alkor before, he died before I joined the Brigade or was active with the Assault team."

He would try to make small talk with Kiru, but thankfully their destination was not terribly far.

[Alkor 0]

Little more than a whisper, Alkor stepped from the shadows of the teleporter and onto the second floor. It marked the beginning of many adventures, a place beyond the first real challenge that Aincrad placed before its prisoners. Dauntless, in a word. To say that he was unshaken by the memories of his first few steps off of the first floor was an understatement. Alkor had become increasingly numb to his earliest memories of this accursed world and the system that controlled it. Every battle, every victory, every conquest hollowed him out a bit more, leaving only the husk. In order to become part of the salvation of others, he had to break himself of those old habits. Impulse, anger, direct aggression. With every breath, he forgave another of the horrors that were inflicted on him. The misunderstandings and grievances that were a part of the human condition meant nothing before the cursed crawl of time. There could be no conflict between them if he was expected to save them.

He had to grow; and many parts of him had to die.

Baldur. If what Kiru said was to be believed, the so-called "Gaijin Samurai" would likely be at the meeting place as well. The still somewhat smoldering memories of their last exchange played in his head. He'd given an earnest reply to the man's questions. How he had lived. Why things with Mari and Lessa had spiraled out of hand. How he had no desire to be part of any of it. And true to form, the elder man imparted Alkor with brutally honest wisdom, that sometimes, men aren't granted the freedom to choose. Rather, perhaps it was more apt to say that the things he could choose and the things that would be chosen for him were two separate things. Alkor was free to choose to keep distance from the women, but how they felt or chose to respond were outside the realm of his control. 

It was a lesson that haunted him, in the shadow of every step. Alkor put down the blade of a DPS and took on the armor of a Tank to give himself thicker skin literally, but it would do nothing for him in the figurative sense. Personal growth took more than simply Experience Points to achieve. Every fight, every interaction- every time he was called on to be a part of something greater, that part of him that resented the rest of society became quieter; and with it, he became a bit more somber. 

The same concept had been explained to him by his grandmother once, he remembered, though he hadn't fully comprehended what she meant back then. Sometimes in life, we have to do things we don't want to do. Things we don't like, or that we're not comfortable with. As you go through life, you'll learn to stretch the limits of your comfort zone, and at times, even live uncomfortably outside of it. Comfort is something that we're only afforded an unlimited amount of as children. Adulthood is understanding and embracing that you don't always get to live in the box that your parents made for you. And sometimes, I hate to say it, but I feel horrible for having tried my best to keep that box intact around you and safe from harm. A bird doesn't learn to fly if it never leaves the nest, Thom. I'm always afraid that I inadvertently clipped your wings, and I'm so so sorry. You may not hate more for it right now, but there may come a day when you do.

And I hope it doesn't, but I want you to know, just in case it does. Take the steps you need to take, or you're never going to get your feet off the ground and fly.

Then, one day, he'd told Baldur without thinking, I have to learn to walk before I can fly.

Damn, it came full circle.

The High Fields of Crossing were somewhat of a hike from Urbus. The second safe zone and major meeting hub of Floor 2 was expansive, unguarded, but also free from monsters. It had been a perfect place for meetings, and in a different time, a killing field for the myriad PKers. The world had become less tumultuous since then, but many people could still feel the lingering resentment and sadness from those who were no longer alive. There were those who remembered, and those who tried to forget, as well as those who were fortunate enough to never have known. Now, they had become one unit- those who sought freedom. Times had changed, perhaps for the better, but certainly trending in a positive direction. They had to change with the times, or become relics of a time lost.

The Alkor that stood now near the entrance to the fields was not the Alkor who stood there many times before.

He was a furnace. Empty, save for when it was lit. And the darkness in his eyes reflected that, contrasted by the sullen smile he wore whenever someone was watching.

Spoiler

Alkor

845 HP 136 EN
Base Damage: 12 Mitigation: 210 Accuracy: 4 Evasion: 0 Blight: 34 Bleed: 48  Battle Healing: 61
Paralyze
10% increase to healing received
Total EXP:  272,145
Total SP: 205
Current Level: 33
Paragon Level: 50

Inventory

Equipped: 

Spoiler

 

Item Name: Witchfang
Item Tier: 4
Item Type: OHSS
Item Enhancements: CURSED / BLIGHT / BLEED / PARALYZE
Description: "Forged from the fang of a massive Black Dragon slain by a nameless hero in ancient times, it was given
as offering to placate a Sorcerer intent on bringing low the Kingdom. He struck a deal with the hero, in exchange for
a reprieve in his generation, the fang would return to haunt their world one day. Witchfang promises ruin to those who
are struck by it. The weapon's edge is fashioned of Obsidian and invested with myriad afflictions. 
One of Aincrad's Cursed Weapons, its very presence inspires fear and invokes the chill of darkness."

Item Name: Titan's Ward
Item Tier: 4
Item Type: Heavy Armor
Item Enhancements: Mitigation 2, Taunt
Description: very long 

Item Name: Eye of Osiris
Item Tier: Tierless
Item Type: Accessory
Item Enhancements: ACC III
Description: A pin fashioned in the style of Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, depicting the eye of the god Osiris.

 

Skills

Spoiler

R5 Heavy Armor
-[Mod] Impetus
-[Addon] Iron Skin
R5 Battle Healing
-[Mod] Emergency Recovery
R5 Straight Sword
-[Addon] Stamina
-[Addon] Precision
-[Addon] <<Straight Sword>> Focus
Combat Mastery: Mitigation 
Energist
Fighting Spirit
Howl
-[Addon] Focused Howl
TECH specialist
(Extra skill)Parry
- [Mod] Vengeful Riposte
(Extra skill) Survival

 

 

[Kiru 0]

After Baldur raised from his seat he put his weapons fully away. The small gesture made me feel only a little bit more at ease, but nonetheless eased. He did not seem much older than me, but he looked as though he had lived twice as many lives as I did. Something about him was worn. I took the lead from Baldur, but not too far ahead. Regardless of the outcome with Baldur and Alkor, my ego would not let me cower in the face of fear.

“I did not know him that well, either,” I said. I weighed the words in my head and considered asking Baldur a question or two, but our destination was not that far. We did not walk that far before I began to see a figure alone at the entrance of the fields. I glanced back at Baldur as we approached Alkor. Is this really okay? I breathed out through my nose- an anxious habit I picked up over the years. I was sure it was Alkor, even though I couldn’t see his face. Once again it was like a memory in the distance that I couldn’t place. It's really him...this could mean Keith is alive too. From the way he was standing, Alkor had changed- sullen somehow. I hadn’t considered myself an affectionate person, yet I felt a lingering desire to hug Alkor. This feeling was leftover from a long time ago, yet I still felt protective over him. 

"Long time no see" I said to Alkor. 
 

[Alkor 0]

Twilight came on like Winter's breath. White smoke billowed from his lips as Alkor watched the horizon for the pair he had agreed to meet, periodically glancing toward the eastern sky where pastel oranges and yellows were consumed by deeper reds, violets, and the expansive darkness beyond. Stars began to flicker into existence, several more each time that he did. He was able to count several before Kiru and Baldur came into view, silently welcoming the night as well as the newcomers. The High Fields of Crossing were uniquely lit in several areas, and this one was no exception. It was one of the meeting spots that was often utilized by Players. 

Kiru was a ghost of the past in many ways, a relic of the Azure Brigade, of the old Frontlines, of a time when people were more vigilant and perhaps even hardcore about clearing. She also represented the shade of a harsh reality, one he'd learned about too late because of how his own "death" had transpired. The infighting between frontliners, the enmity that led to Zelrius' fate, and even the rise of a PK reign of terror that ultimately culminated in a Pax Aincrad- the faux peace that had set in, the lull in which they had managed to clear floors without incident. If she was back, how many of the others would inevitably come out of self-imposed exile? Would they want a return to form, a call to power, an initiative to spark new life in the frontlines?

Or perhaps she was alone and terrified, much the same as he had been when his eyes opened once more. There were always answers, but Alkor had learned that impulse often did not earn the best of them. If she contacted him, it was because she had questions of her own- almost certainly not simply about Baldur, because the two of them had not seen each other in a long time. In fact, as he seemed to recall, she was part of the floor nine boss fight. The Hydra still haunted him, even years after its fiery gullet almost spelled the end of his story. He could feel the heat in his blood as she greeted him, the molten liquid crawling across his skin...

"It has been," he agreed, offering a respectful nod of his head to the woman in greeting, then his eyes moved to the Samurai. "Baldur," he greeted the man with a nod, slightly deeper.