[F29 - PP] On the House (2x Speed)

[Lessa 1]

Get boozy, boozy, boozy (now it looks like a wasteland).
Get boozy, boozy, boozy (not the way that we remember).
Get boozy, boozy, boozy (one more sip for the past).
Get boozy, boozy, boozy (and always tip your bartenders).

"This is the place," Lessa announced, shouldering open the door and turning to usher Jomei in. Even as she motioned for him to follow her, her gaze tracked around the room, on high alert for... whatever that thing had been. She picked her way around the empty tables, some with overturned stools, some with mugs still perched atop the scarred wooden tops. And though she slowed as she approached the bar, she didn't stop until she hovered over where the creature had stood only hours before. "This is the spot where that freaky mob had been. I don't see any sign of it now." After executing a quick three-sixty, she added, "or any sign of anything, really. This place is super dead, just like the rest of the floor, save for all those monsters that attacked us in at the teleport plaza." Her lips drew into a thin white line. "Look, I'm a horror fan and everything, but this is super eerie. I'm just not used to seeing all these buildings with no people. It honestly wouldn't feel right in the real world, either. Like some giant ghost town."

Spoiler

Lessa | HP: 980/980 | EN: 130/130 | DMG: 18 | MIT:127 | THORNS:72 | BH:29 | HB: 39 | MENDING: 2 | REC: 8 | HLY: 8

"Name: Lessa, Guardian of Aincrad True Tier: 10
Level: 34
Paragon Level: 60
HP: 980/980
EN: 130/130

Stats:
Damage: 18
Mitigation: 127
Battle Healing: 29
Stealth Rating: -5
HB: 39
MENDING: 2 REC: 8
HLY: 8
Equipped Gear:
Weapon/Armor/Trinket: 
  - Arcael's Might (T4 THSS - DMG DMG DMG HLY)                                                                                                        
Armor/Trinket: 
  - Vega's Panoply (T4 HA - THNS THNS HB HB)                                                                                                             
Shield/Armor/Trinket: 
  - Red Tide Beacon - Venus (T4 TRINKET - LM LM REC REC)

Combat Mastery:
  - Combat Mastery: Mitigation R3

Combat Shift:
  - ST Shift

Familiar Skill:
  - Rending Familiar

Custom Skill:
  - 

Skills:
  - Battle Healing R3
  - Energist
  - Extended Weight Limit
  - Heavy Armor R5
  - Straight Sword R3

Extra Skills:
  - First Aid R5
  - Leadership R5

Inactive Extra Skills:

Addons:
  - Field Medic
  - Hyperactive
  - Iron Skin

Mods:
  - Barrier
  - Energize
  - Inspiring Speech
  - Large Pockets
  - Press the Attack

Inactive Mods:

Battle Ready Inventory:
  - Blessing of the Wood x4
  - Chocolate Truffles (T4 Vitality II Desserts) x13
  - Congealing Ale (Tierless Antidote Salves) x4
  - March to the Dawn (Instant HP Recovery 3) x14
  - Rumbling Rum Party Favor (Tierless Mass HP Recovery Crystals) x13
  - Teleportation Crystal x14
  - Tiger's Balm (Tierless Antidote Salves) x1

Housing Buffs:
  - Bedroom: -1 energy cost for the first two expenditures of each combat
  - Bathroom: The first time you would suffer DoT damage in a thread, reduce damage taken from DoT each turn by 20% (rounded down)
  - Living Room: Increases out of combatHP regen by (5 * Tier HP) and decreases full energy regen to 2 Out of Combat Posts.
  - Attic (Storage): +5% bonus col from monster kills and treasure chests
  - Slime Farm: +5% EXP to a thread. Limit one use per month. Must be used on a player's first post in a thread. Cooldown begins counting down when used in a post.
  - Basement: Gain +1 to LD, Stealth Rating, Stealth Detection, or Prosperity to one post in a thread. Can be applied after a roll

Guild Hall Buffs:

Scents of the Wild Totem:

Wedding Ring:

Crafting Profession:
 - Blacksmith[465exp] R6
Gathering Profession:
 - Forager[0exp] R1"                                                                                                                            

                                                                                                                           

Spoiler

Rules
1. No more than 200 words or face Shelby's wrath.
2. There's actually only the one rule.
3. Oh also actually finish this in a reasonable amount of time.
4. Don't talk about Fight Club.

 

Floor 29
<< On The House>>
Party Limit: 4 | 20+ Posts
Repeatable

Quest Rewa̴̧̡̛̫͇͉͍̗̠͙̙̔͆̾̽̇̕͠r̵̨̢̡̞̝͈̳̱̖̥͊̏̐̀̊̀̕̕͜͝d̶̥̱̪̺̱͆́̏̓͗̓̄̄͗̏̕s̴̰̤͉̮͔̹̑̊͌͂͠:

 

• 0̷̤̑͊0̵̺̱̠̖͈̻͕̫̻̓0̶͚̜̍̒̒̂̌̈́̾̊̋͗̾̊̈͜͝͝0̷̧̛͖͉͍͓͈̙̱͈̖̻̮̩̀̈̀̅̽̄̇̽̽̽̀͌͠0̷̧̥͎͙͈̟̹̲̹͈̟̩̭͋͋̆̽́̊̕͠0̶̢̹̝̺̞͎̦̤̪̏͊̔̈́́̌͑̊̂̈́͋͌̚̕͝ͅ  Col
• 0̷̤̑͊0̵̺̱̠̖͈̻͕̫̻̓0̶͚̜̍̒̒̂̌̈́̾̊̋͗̾̊̈͜͝͝0̷̧̛͖͉͍͓͈̙̱͈̖̻̮̩̀̈̀̅̽̄̇̽̽̽̀͌͠0̷̧̥͎͙͈̟̹̲̹͈̟̩̭͋͋̆̽́̊̕͠0̶̢̹̝̺̞͎̦̤̪̏͊̔̈́́̌͑̊̂̈́͋͌̚̕͝ͅ. EXP
• Unlocks the <<Lightweight>> status.
  • Players with the <<Lightweight>> status active will feel the effects of drinking alcohol. Please use responsibly.

 

R̴͚̜̬̙̬̣̦͑̈́̍͗̌̋͒̐͝͝e̶̢̛̺̱̖͈̜̟̗͎͖̯͋͐͊͆̃́̾̃͜q̵̡̢͇̭̣͇͉̰̗̰͇̩̋͘ͅͅuirements:

• Travel to H.P's Tavern in Ilridge.
• Find the receipt of purchase and accept the quest prompt.
• Travel to the Southern docks and wait for the ship.
• Explore ship and unload the crates and barrels of alcohol.
• Travel back to H.P's and deliver payload to the basement.
• Have a drink, on̵̳̈́͌͋ ̷̡̢̫͑͆̅t̶̝̦̋̔ͅh̷̹̓̃ę̶̖͋̆͛͝ ̶̨̔͑̔h̵̘̄o̵͕̎̀̈͌͜ú̴̳̫͉̚͜ş̸̲̗͕̓̾ȩ̷͔͋

Sum̵̘͂m̴̟͓͎͉͂͝à̸̲̳͒͑ry:

H.P's is one of the only taverns in Ilridge. You feel a draw towards the establishment, as if numerous, smiling faces recommended it to you. But you have not crossed paths with a single soul on this floor, other than the fellow player who seems just as curious as you do. Broken tables and overturned stools make it a bit difficult to find anywhere to sit, though you will not be placing your order with the bartender anytime soon. 

Behind the bar is just as empty as the rest of Ilridge, save for numerous bottles covered in dust and grime that line the shelves. A single lantern remains illuminated on the countertop, with a mysterious document resting underneath it. Strangely, the note is not as aged or dilapidated as the rest of the interior, almost as if it was just written within the past couple of weeks. “Shipping Manifest” it reads, with multiple lines of orders underneath it. 

As you eye over the various wines, ales, and spirits being shipped, you are met with a prompt to accept the quest. Looks like you’ll be the one accepting the delivery on (Bar name’s) behalf. 

O̷̻̯͌̊͑̓utlin̶̯̽̓e̴͍̋̓

Using a horseless wagon found outside the bar, travel to docks, retrieve the cargo, and return. A simple fetch quest made interesting by the chaotic energy of this floor. At each milestone, you will need to roll an LD (Natural Results) to determine a random encounter. No encounters should provide any actual threat to the players, unless they wish to do so themselves.

Please make sure to read over all of the plot points and encounters below.

Waiting at the Docks - Only the party leader rolls this LD.

1-5	You swear you see something monstrous out in the ocean. But as you avert your eyes for just a moment, the image is gone. Replaced by the slowly growing image of a sailing ship.
6-10	You see the ship far away, on the horizon. You blink and suddenly the ship is right upon you, and much bigger than you were expecting.
11-15	As the ship approaches, it is struck by a bolt of lightning. The first deck of the ship and its masts are ravaged, but the lower decks - and the cargo - seem intact.
16-20	The brigantine does not dock, and instead tears through the dock, before beaching itself.

 

Once the Ship Arrives

Spoiler

As you step onto the vessel, or what’s left of it, you see that most of the cargo is still intact. Various barrels and crates stacked atop each other below the main deck. However, that is all that seems to remain. A single lantern flickers dimly above a circular table, the contents of spilled tankards dripping onto the floor, while bread and cheese infested with mold sit idly on plates. From what you can tell, no life remains on this vessel - aside from your own.

 

Unloading the Cargo - Each player rolls an LD. Encounters can be handled individually, or as a group. But one result will be assigned per player.

1-4	You find one person on the ship, if you can call them that. An undead, fish-person with eerily long arms. They clutch a broom in their hands and they slowly sweep the deck, specifically behind you (the roller) as you explore the ship.
5-8	You see a small creature about the size of a rat, but some otherworldly monstrosity you could never even imagine. It shrieks and runs away into the shadows.
9-12	You find a barrel of wine that is leaking profusely. Its flow seems never ending. It tastes a bit flat.
13-16	You hear a voice that only you can hear. It speaks in tongues but you understand. Terrible things whispered into your ear, Once you depart from the vessel, the voice is no longer with you.
17-20	You find a sack of Col. If you decide to pick up the bag, the coins become spiders. They vanish as you come to your senses. The bag you are holding has no spiders, no gold.

 

Once the Cargo is Retrieved

Spoiler

No trace of the ship remains after you step from its deck. A slow cloud of fog drifts off to sea, regardless of the direction of the storming winds. With the wagon in tow, you slowly make your way back the path you came to H.P's.

 

Travel Back - Each player rolls an LD. Encounters can be handled individually, or as a group. But one result will be assigned per player.

1-4	You pass a scarecrow that moves every time you take your eyes off of it. It disappears as you enter the bar.
5-8	The storm becomes severe and downs a tree in the road before you.
9-12	You, and only you, see yourself walking in front of you. They mimic your every move, before violently turning their neck to look you in the eyes. The moment you lock eyes, they are gone.
13-16	Only you hear a murder of crows cawing your name over and over from the trees above. You swear one calls you by your real world name. But there are no crows. Or anything, as far as you can see.
17-20	One of the wheels pops off the wagon. As you rush to fix it, you hear the sound of something giggling and scampering towards you. You never see what it is as you get back on the road.

 

Unloading the Cargo

Spoiler

Finally arrived back at H.P'syou open an angled cellar door on the outside of the building. It’s dark, but a single light hanging from the ceiling flickers, illuminating the basement just enough. Down the stone stairs, you place the barrels and crates with no particular guide on where to set them down. Despite, once all of the containers have been placed, you will receive a prompt to return to the bar for your reward. 

 

A Drink on The House

Spoiler

No bartender to pour the drinks, but a glass sits on the counter in front of you as you return upstairs. Another prompt appears, [Have a drink, it's on the house] Each player will roll a CD to determine the random drink that was chosen for them. The player will feel the effects of the alcohol. If they choose to drink at least one drink, they will be granted the <<Lightweight>> status effect. They will continue to feel the effects of alcohol the more they consume.

 

1	Mead	7	Spiced Rum
2	Grog	8	Champagne
3	Warm Sake	9	Dry, Red Wine
4	Peach Cider	10	Whiskey
5	Cold Beer	11	Cinnamon Vodka
6	Plum Wine	12	Fruity Cocktail

 

E͙ͧp̠͓̩̫̊ͨͯ̄͒́͒i̸̷͎͈̺͍͚̖̟͓̯̖͒ͧ̽̆͊͗̃̓͆̕̚_̧̰̘͋̃ͬl͓ơ̝̩̟͖̓̑̀͗ͅg̵̴̡̛͓̹͕͇̳̫̲̳̃ͭ͛͑̀̈̋̉͐̈́ͤ̉̆̀̚̚͜͟͜͢͢͜͡u̡̦͍̟͈̜̩͕̼̮̙̖̍͌̒͛͐̓ͮͨ̍͂̏̂̂͌ͥ̃̃̈̈́͠ę̩̱̟͉͙̤͔̥ͪ̎͋̀:̨̐ͧ̉

 

Spoiler

Placing the last of your drink on the counter it had mysteriously appeared upon, you are met with a familiar prompt.

[̸̧̡͎̗̦̺̲̦̼̯͇̪̣̗̋̔͋̓̍̂͛̃͘̕Ĥ̵̛̳͍̣͍́̇͂͗͛̐͛̏̆͋͝ave a drink, it's on the house].

The glass fills once more before your very eyes. If one should partake once more, the message would repeat.

[̸̧̡͎̗̦̺̲̦̼̯͇̪̣̗̋̔͋̓̍̂͛̃͘̕Ĥ̵̛̳͍̣͍́̇͂͗͛̐͛̏̆͋͝ave a d̸̹͚̦̟͈̱̼̞̤̝̺̲̿̍r̶̰̱͕̬̼͔͔͈̆̾́̈̑̏͛̔̄͘͠i̷̫̝͓̦̒͒͂̽͗̈́̆̓̾̀̋̚ṇ̸̡̛͚͉̼͉̮̹͋̃͌ͅnk, it's on thh̵͉̲̠̪̪͚̱̞̫̜̞͙͙͆̒̂͌̃̈́͘͝ě̸̢̧̛͙̝͎͕̯̮̈́̾̉̽́̂ ̵̧̢͇̠̭͎̲͚̝̽̀͑̈́͊͝͠ͅh̷͔̻́̿̓͂͑̈́̈̌̐use].

An endless cycle.
A quest that could not be completed.

 

 

Note: Players are technically blocked from completing the quest due to the glitches this floor experiences. The <<Lightweight>> condition that was applied for your celebratory drink seems to follow you outside of the bar... and even onto other floors. If players wish to remove the <<Lightweight>> condition, they may do so by ‘Forfeiting the Quest’ in a post. Players will need to repeat the quest to obtain the status once more.

 

 

[Jomei 0]

A bell that still managed to hang above the door, though broken and missing a hammer for ages, created an unceremonious tink sound. A brief respite from the rain, Jomei would step inside following behind Lessa until the room opened up. Running a hand through saturated locks of orange, he would push them to the top of his head as, he too, scanned the interior. Lessa had mentioned fighting some type of monster in here, but everything seemed calm and quiet. Maybe it was just a one time thing and didn't respawn, hopefully. But just to be safe, a limp wrist rested on the pommel of his rapier as olive eyes slowly looked around them. "So what exactly did this thing look like?"

Once they were sure that the danger was no longer present, the tension lifted - as much as it could for this town, being the way it was.  "No, no it doesn't sit well with me either." he would chime in as he approached the bar proper. Toppled stools with cushions splotched with dark mold, broken glassware littered the floor due to a fallen shelf, and not a hint of a living soul manning the establishment. "No one around to serve drinks, bummer" he would joke before vaulting over the bar to the opposite side. "I definitely feel like there's some importance to this place... why else would they hint players in this direction and put some.. nightmare of a monster in the middle of it." 

Lowering himself to a squat, he ran a hand along some of the concealed shelves behind the bar. Any thing of interest around, he thought to himself. Suddenly, the pub came to life.. though 'life' was a generous description. Slow jazz pumped out from the jukebox, though the notes were flat, and overlapping. The sound was completely distorted. And, when was the bar full of this many people? He heard voices, talking, laughing shouting.. but backwards. The cacophony of broken music and the ghastly gasping sounds of reverse speaking caused him to shoot up to look around. 

Still empty, just him and Lessa.

Spoiler

Level: 33 | Paragon: 75 | Tier: 4(11) | HP: 940| EN: 132

Jomei | HP: 960/960 | EN: 134/134 | DMG: 21 | MIT: 44 | ACC:3 | TAUNT | F-SPIRIT | EVA:4 | BH:53 | HB: 42 | VAMP-D: 106 | BLI: 32/-20  | LD:1                                                     

Equipment:
Vicious Mockery : ACC II | Taunt | Blight 
Fencer's Regalia - Trepidation: Vamp D II | HB | MIT 
Token of Serenity: HB| EVA III  

Rending Familiar: Adere

Skills
Saber R5 | TECH Spec.
Combat Mastery DMG R3
Cloth Armor R5
Charge
B Healing R5
Energist
MA R2
Extra:
Concentration (x)
Survival (x)
Meditation
Parry (x)
Forgotten King's Authority (x)
Assault Mode 
Lady Luck

Mods
Athletics
Emergency Recovery 
Justified Riposte 
Vengeful Riposte 

Addons
Stamina 
Focus 
Precision 
Nimble
Focused Howl

Housing Buffs: 
Bedroom: -1 energy cost for the first two expenditures of each combat    
Bathroom: The first time you would suffer DoT damage in a thread, reduce damage taken from DoT each turn by 20% (rounded down)    
Dining Room: Turn 2 identical food items (same quality, tier, & enhancements) into a Lesser Feast.
Living Room: Increases out of combat HP regen by (5 * Tier HP) and decreases full energy regen to 2 Out of Combat Posts.
Kitchen: Increase the effectiveness of a single food item consumed in a thread by +1 T1 slot. This can exceed normal Cook enhancement caps. 

 

[Lessa 1]

Spoiler

You already violated the first rule Isweartogod. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
ON THE FIRST POST.
How am I supposed to trust you now?! 

"It sort of looked like a person, in the beginning," came her answer as she walked along the bar, one fingertip dragging a line through the dust. "But then it sort of... peeled its own skin off, I guess?" The blonde gave a small shudder, following alongside Jomei as the pair slipped behind the bar. "I didn't see it all, but what I caught was gruesome. I genuinely wouldn't have minded never seeing it again, which is why it's ridiculous that I'm back. Something about this place just.. tugged at me."

The toe of her boot bumped a discarded bottle, and as she stooped to retrieve it, the room was suddenly filled with sound. As Jomei straightened, Lessa crouched, unbridled, adrenaline-fueled terror sending the woman into a defensive maneuver. As she flung herself under the bar, she managed to take her companion out at the knees, dragging Jomei down on top of her. Eyes wide and rolling with the intense fear of a spooked horse, Lessa stared down into Jomei's face. Both hands were slapped over her ears. "What is that?" she shouted, the reaction far too extreme for the circumstances. "Tell me when it's over!" 

[Jomei 0]

Just as quickly as he had gotten to his feet, he was knocked down once more. In a frantic attempt to escape the source of the sound, Lessa had collided into Jomei's legs, knocking him off balance. Tumbling to the floor, he landed partially on top of the blonde a hand planting to the ground beside her head and a forearm pressing into her armored abdomen. Despite facing in his direction, blue eyes went anywhere but his. Cuffed gauntlets fought to muffle the sound, but it still apparently sent her into such a shock. Rolling off of her, he would prop himself up on one elbow just to her side. "Hey, hey hey.." he would call out to her to get her attention. Leaning over her to make sure she saw him, he would place a gentle hand on her cheek. "Its alright, it's over. Its quiet again." Taking his eyes off of Lessa for just a moment, he would make sure that the silence did not come with any uninvited guests. Only a second before he returned his gaze to the spooked Lessa. "You're okay." 

[Lessa 1]

Blinking owlishly back at him, Lessa hesitantly let her hands fall away from her ears. She wrapped one around the wrist of his hand that touched her cheek, squeezing appreciatively. “Shit, sorry,” she hissed out, trying for a sheepish smile, but landing on a grimace instead. “I, uh, react really poorly to distorted sounds for some reasons. Skipping records, alarms, anything played backward, or on repeat. Can’t tell you why. Triggers fight or flight.” 

She shifted on the dirty tavern floor, attempting to move her body off of his, and sending the glass bottle skittering away in the process. Inadvertently following its path, her gaze settled on a piece of paper resting a few feet away. Almost immediately, a quest window populated before her eyes.

“That must be the quest marker I noticed earlier,” Lessa exclaimed, some of the earlier fear bleeding away as excitement took up residence. “I guess I saw the piece of paper earlier, but didn’t really notice it, and that’s why the icon disappeared.” Narrowing her blue eyes, she read, “On The House. Fitting name, for a bar. Quick glance at the quest objectives doesn’t show anything too problematic. What do you think?”

[Jomei 0]

Almost instantly, she came to her senses. Frantic cerulean orbs settled on him, calmer and relieved now that the terrors had ceased. Jomei's lips would flash a small smile as she silently thanked him for the reassurance, and he would release his hand just as she would. Pushing himself up into a sitting position, he would sigh, "No need to apologize, we all have our fears. And that was a lot all at once." He would peer over the bar once more to make sure those noises weren't some sort of welcoming chime for the wicked monstrosities that roamed the floor.

Still safe, for now at least. "Thought at first it was your friend coming back for round 2." 

It seemed that something caught her attention, a piece of loose parchment that looked eerily out of place. Following suit with his companion, Jomei was greeted with the typical quest invitation. A simple fetch quest.. ironic for a deadly floor like this. Retrieve shipment from docks, return to H.P's. And they're even granted a cart to use. Suspiciously simple.. he thought. Something seemed off with the screen as he read over the information, and his eyes seemed to keep missing it. Every couple of seconds, the text seemed to distort. A letter may have flipped for a millisecond, the black text would flash pink.. just typical glitches. But his eyes were playing tricks on him, they had to have been. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Lets check it out. Gives us a chance to explore a bit of the docks and scout for any more dangers."

[Lessa 1]

Lessa grew bug-eyed again. "It'd better not be my friend coming back for round two," she shot back, drilling a finger into Jomei's chest. "Don't you put that evil on me." But the action held no real malice, and when she pulled her finger back, she was smiling at him. She reached up to grab the lip of the bar, then hauled herself up and back onto her feet. Then she reached down to offer Jomei a hand, bringing him up beside her. "So looks like we need to head to the docks and wait for a shop." No sooner had the word left her mouth than her eyes narrowed, and she called her HUD back up with a twinkle of bells. "Uh yeah, shop. A shop, on the dock. That... doesn't make any sense." Her eyebrows furrowed, and she threw a glance toward her companion. "Have we come across typos in the game before? I'm sure this is meant to say-" she stopped mid-sentence when her eyes came to rest on the quest description again. "Ship. A ship. Now it says ship." Shaking her head slowly, Lessa dismissed the window, then began walking the direction they'd come. "I am seriously going crazy. I'd have sworn that said shop a minute ago."

Floor 29 welcomed the pair back with an especially loud crack of thunder. Lessa wrapped her cloak a little tighter around herself, yanking the edges of her already soaked turtleneck closer to her chin, and drawing her shoulders up to her ears. "You know," she began, her voice a little distorted by her cramped position, and the way she had to shout above the rain, "I really like storms. I would probably love this floor if it weren't for the whole monsters thing. And the no NPCs. I honestly think I'd get lonely." She spotted the cart propped up beneath H.P.'s small lean-to, and without wasting any time discussing the matter, grabbed the handles herself. As if to cut off the possibility of any argument, she cut Jomei a sideways glance as she began tugging the cart toward the harbor. "What about you? Could you live somewhere like this?"

[Jomei 0]

"I am seriously going crazy. I'd have sworn that said shop a minute ago."

"Well.." Jomei interjected, a click of his tongue as he leaned an elbow on the bar. "Pretty sure that train left the station a long time ago." a playful jab to lighten the mood. So it wasn't just exhaustion causing his eyes to play tricks on him, they were experiencing visual glitches. Minor as they may be, it was still something they had never seen before. "The lack of safezone, monsters invading the starting town, glitches. I know the design team behind this game are psychos.. but this doesn't seem like them." He would stare through a dirty window, the grime clinging no matter how much it rained. "I wonder if something happened here that was out of their reach... Decided to keep it and throw it our way. Solve the issue for them, or something." Shrugging his shoulders with a scoff, he'd push off the bar. "Eh, but don't listen to me rabble on. Let's go see what we have to deliver." 

"Be my guest" he would chuckle as Lessa took to pulling the cart on her own. "I'll get it on the way back." 

Keeping his rapier at the ready, in case any of the wandering monsters they experienced earlier snuck up on them, Jomei walked beside Lessa as she pulled the cart off of the main roads towards the shore line. Rain pelted his face, soaking him through his hood. "I don't know, sea side property.. pretty tempting. Looks like plenty of vacancies too." Trees creaked and bent as the saturated earth fought to hold down roots against gusts of wind, and rough waves crashing into the broken island could be heard even from a distance away. The picture of paradise.

"Maybe they just have bad winters. Could make for a nice summer home."