[PP - F2] The Rose and the Player Killer [Alkor] [Complete]

[Lessa 1]

And like that, the weight from her midsection was lifted. Alkor had removed himself from her body. Off to do something else, though she knew not what. The woman they called Wild Rose did not even open her eyes as her... attacker?... moved away. Instead, she rolled to her side, curling up into a pitiful ball in the tall grass. She arched her back, drawing her knees to her chest, and hugging her arms tightly across the front of her breastplate. The position gave her some comfort as she waited for his next move. Was he preparing to kill her, looming over her frightened body with his weapon drawn? Would he strike her with Nightbringer again, this time truly putting an end to her life? At that moment, there in the meadows of the second floor, Lessa would not have put it past him.

But the strike never came. There was no blood, no pain, no further betrayal. Merely the buzzing insects, the soft whisper of the wind, and Alkor's strong presence behind her. Why he still waited beside her, she could not say. Part of her wished that he would simply leave her alone. The woman was broken, and she needed some time alone to put herself back together. But he would not grant her that luxury. Of course, there was a small part of her that remained thankful for his staying nearby. It was that sliver of her brain, that piece of her heart, that always wanted him. It was that voice she could not silence, even when he had her pinned to the ground.

Time passed. At one point, she knew she had fallen asleep. When she awoke, she was startled to still feel his body close to hers. Finally, as the sun slipped below the hazy horizon line, and darkness began to consume the floor, she sat up. And when he finally turned to look at her, she was looking back at him.

"Why are you still here?" She asked him, simply.

[Guest]

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked plainly, the tip of Nightbringer nestled on the floor at his feet. Like some ancient knight he stood, ever watching, waiting for an order. If she dismissed him, he would leave. He returned the blade to its sheath quietly, turning to look at her. She looked more peaceful now, in spite of the sadness that had swarmed her before.

It was his fault, but then, it was hers as well. It was in his mind to lay that entire debacle to rest. The emotions had passed, and though she very well could have tried to recall them, Alkor was persuaded that she would have reason not to want that. Sad as it was, she tugged at heartstrings when she cared, when she showed him that care. He could not handle it.

He made no movement to assist her to her feet. She would not trust him with the act, he was sure. Who had truly betrayed whom? Alkor might never be certain. He did not know Lessa- rather, he knew Lessa, but he did not know the person trapped within Lessa. He understood that now. Whoever she was, she cared for Alkor. Not for Thom. He had struggled, but finally, he understood.

"We're more than just players in a game," he murmured. "I get that, now." His eyes closed slowly as he turned his gaze from her and let out a ragged breath. "I'm not just Alkor anymore."

[Lessa 1]

"No," she replied, though far too quickly. She blinked a few times at her own rushed response. After everything that had happened, she still could not let him go. It was a a terrible, wonderful thing, having him so close to her. It killed him, but it brought her life. And the selfish player could not see it any other way. "I don't want you to go."

He seemed more at ease now, which was good. Lessa recognized that she had seen him at his worst, and though she prayed she would never see it again, she knew, deep down, she would. Their friendship, if that was the appropriate word, was a strange one. They had managed to bring out the worst in each other, all in one afternoon. Yet as the light grew dim and the first stars began to twinkle, she glanced toward the High Fields of Crossing. How much had happened since they had sat together among those flowers? How much had they changed? Or had they really changed at all?

Lessa swung her gaze back to Alkor as he spoke. His words were soft and distant, as if he were speaking to himself alone. But she heard them, and they only promoted more questions. "Who are you then, if you are not just Alkor?" Lessa figured she might already know the answer to his question, but she needed to hear it from him. And besides, it seemed an innocent enough question, and she wanted to hear him speak again.

[Guest]

Quiet steps carried him to her side, and he sat down next to her. With a gentle hand on her shoulder, Alkor laughed. "Some other time," he told her. "That's enough for one day." He withdrew his hand slowly and placed both arms in his lap. "I'm sorry, Lessa," he murmured. "I tried so hard for so long to push everyone out and away. I kept trying to be a player in a game, where everyone else was just another player. It was so easy to just have nothing to do with them outside of that."

He sighed. "I didn't realize that this... world... no. I realized it, but never accepted it. I refused to accept that I was myself, just somewhere else. Another place, another time, but surrounded by other people with a common enemy." He looked down and sighed. "You wanted to be Alkor's friend, but Alkor has no friends. That's who he is." He glanced up and smiled uncertainly. "That's who I've always been. But... I can't be that way anymore. I'm slowly understanding that. I suppose... If I have anything to take away from Sword Art Online, it's that."

He bit his lip. "Now, people have been hurt because I tried to be a hero. People are dead. I have to live with that." Both his eyes shut tightly. "And God save me, it's a sobering reality."

"The things I do and say can hurt people." He resigned himself. "It's not just a game."

[Lessa 1]

Her eyes dropped to her lap as he took a seat beside her. The evening air was cooler, and the breeze was a bit more powerful than it had been previously, though it was still nothing especially bothersome. It had just enough kick to bend the blades of grass to its will, and blow a few strands of blonde hair around her head. Both hands reached back to pile her hair over her right shoulder, and her fingers began working out the kinks. Straightening out her hair was another terrible nervous habit that she had been unable to break.

"You don't have to apologize," she replied, still letting her fingertips work out the tangles in her long hair. She made a point not to look at him. "I put you in a bad place, and I pushed you. I know that now. It was my mistake."

But as he spoke of the consequences of the game, she let her hands fall still in her lap. She turned to him, blue eyes finding his amber ones through the darkness. Everyone understood that death in the game meant death in real life, and Lessa and Alkor were no exception. It was the other thoughts that complicated things. Players were real people, and their feelings, their relationships, their thoughts, were just as authentic. Even if death was not involved, choices had real consequences. It seemed they were both learning that the hard way.

"You cannot regret what you've done in the past," she told him. "Dwelling on it will drive you mad. And you did what you felt was best at that moment. As I've already told you, I agree with your action as well. Though I understand that must mean very little."

She fell silent again, reflecting on what he had said earlier. "Lessa has always been a pretty friendly person," she began, "in a lot of ways, she's a lot like Aly-" Eyes growing wide, Lessa caught herself the moment she realized what she was saying. "My god," she whispered, "this game truly is tearing me into two. I've never realized before now how disconnected I have become." She had nearly referred to her character and her real-life persona as two different people. But that isn't true, she thought. Not really. I am Alyssa, and I am Lessa. I am both, for they are the same person. Right?

[Guest]

"Ain't it a real bastard?" Alkor laughed and spurted out in a Southern drawl that sounded nothing like his normal, generally detached voice. He snorted another laugh, then, "ah, well, guess that secret's out." The golden eyed boy slid a hand over his mouth and made a gesture like he had fumbled in saying something he ought not have.

"Anyway," he continued, reverting to the collected and distinguished unaccented voice of Alkor, "yeah. It got to the point where I realized that other players were having issues with their identities. It hadn't been a problem for me, until suddenly I realized... I couldn't keep being someone I wasn't. I got tired of it. But more than that, I got tired of people trying to know that "me," when really, no one even knew me. Ah, hell, this is going to get weird," he said with a groan.

"I guess the problem was, with you, I really appreciated the desire to be my friend; but I was so hung up on not letting anyone near me, like it was going to kill me if I let down my guard for even a second. Like you'd have slowed me down." He gestured with his hand, trying to create a sense of confusion and imbalance. "I didn't know how to cope with that, so I kept walking away... until I finally couldn't anymore. I'm..."

He stopped flat, clamping his lips shut. "I don't know if I should speak too freely about myself."

His eyes shifted and took in the world all around, clouds dancing slowly across the sky above. "I'm not good with people. I never have been. The idea of having a friend is still alien to me. It's hard to even imagine someone... you know... liking me."

[Lessa 1]

Lessa let out a peal of her own laughter as Alkor's voice changed. His voice was beautiful, and she found herself hoping that he would not resort back to the detached, matter-of-fact one that she had come to know. In that brief moment, she had been given a glimpse into Alkor's real life. Or no, not Alkor. The voice she had heard came from the man himself. The man who was confined to a bed somewhere, attached to the nerve gear that brought him to her. She placed his accent somewhere in the southern United States, but she did not know enough to be more specific. Our bodies could be lying just hours apart, she thought suddenly. Though this concept brought a million new questions to the surface, she knew they would have to wait.

When he mentioned the problem he had with her, her hands clenched into anxious fists in her lap. He had already warned her that things would get weird, but his words led her to believe this was some sort of intervention. Here are all the ways you've messed me up, he would say. All of your actions that pushed me to my breaking point today. And, at first, his words proved her suspicions to be true. She slowed him down?

But then he told her could not run away anymore. This was a change of pace that caught her off-guard. She tilted her head slightly, as if to urge him to continue. And as he did, she felt her face growing warm. A hint of a smile danced across her lips. As he studied the sky above, she studied him. The curve of his jaw, the shape of his neck, everything mattered to her in that moment.

"You and I are pretty different," she confessed finally. "I've always been good with people, though I'm sure I don't need to tell you that. Just like I don't need you to tell me how bad you are with them." She leaned over slightly and bumped the man with her shoulder, demonstrating that she had meant no disrespect with her comment.

"However, we're also a lot alike. We look out for people. We care, even when it may not be good for us. And, uh," she ran fidgeted nervously before finishing her thought. "Neither of us know quite what to do with the idea of someone liking us."

[Guest]

"Hah," he laughed aloud and clapped his hands. "You? That's hilarious."

Alkor lifted a hand up and closed his eyes, letting the breeze flow through the spaces between each finger. The cold bit, but so softly that it felt gentle. He tilted his head back and let that same hand run through his hair. "The breeze reminds me of the wind off the ocean during a storm," he commented suddenly, "the same kind of cold, until it shifts and becomes violent."

He glanced down at his feet and let out a huff. "I wonder if there are any beaches on Aincrad." Thom truly missed aspects of his home, despite how many things he could have easily been glad to be rid of. In this world, though they were cruel and hollow representations, there were several things that did mirror the real world.

"I guess it's easy to like Alkor, now that I think about it- the strong, silent type. Am I right?" He laughed and his lips broke into a wide smile. "Yeah, that's an easy character to play. I don't know if I could ever be anything like that. He's..." He hesitated, then stopped. "He's strong," Alkor said at last.

With a quick glance over at Lessa, he shrugged. "It's nice to see someone who can actively just... be themselves. It's easy to like that. Not hiding anything. I'm sure lots of people love you." He smirked. "I have a lot of respect for it," he admitted, "but you already get enough flirting from all those bar crawlers. Let's be friends," he said as he stuck out his tongue.

[Lessa 1]

"Yes, me," she replied with a small laugh. "I mean it! I'm really good at working with people, but I still struggle with sorting out my own emotions. I can hand out advice all day, but taking my own often proves difficult."

As he spoke of beaches, Lessa turned her face into the wind. It gently brushed back her hair, and she closed her eyes. There was a moment of clarity as she took a deep breath, drinking in the night, and filling her lungs with the cool air. "I've been to the beaches of the Great Lakes a few times," she told him without opening her eyes. "But I've never been to anything larger. I wonder what it is like to be in the salt water."

As the topic of conversation veered into more personal territory, she turned back to him. Fortunately, she did so just in time to see his smile. It was a beautiful sight. It seemed to bring light into the darkness that surrounded them, and it made her smile as well. "It is easy to like him, yeah," she confessed. Suddenly feeling giddy, she added, "don't worry about what Alkor can do that-" her voice trailed "-you can't. You are Alkor. His strengths are also yours. I bet the man behind the mask is just as likable."

But her smile faded as he spoke the final words. Why did they so effectively zap the energy and happiness she had been experiencing? Why did she suddenly feel uncomfortable? Lessa shifted slightly in the grass, and gave a soft, forced laugh. "Heh, yeah."

[Guest]

Alkor shook his head. "It's easy to pretend to be strong when you don't have to be yourself" he responded. "I mean... maybe now, it might be different. I won't know until I try..." The swordsman's words trailed off as he watched Lessa brighten, assuring him that he was strong, just like Alkor, then in the next moment...

When she heard him joke about being friends, she fell from that high to a very somber low. "You really did like him," he said with a sigh. "Even though I tried so hard to make myself unlikable. So distant, and detached from everything." His words were soft and sad, as if he'd made a horrible mistake like he'd been trying to avoid all along.

"Damn it," he cursed, "I'm sorry, Lessa."

Shoving his hands into the pockets in his pants, Alkor took a long breath, then heaved a sigh. "In all seriousness," he said, "you don't know a thing about me, and I doubt you'd feel that way if you did. It could be a huge waste of your time."

He shrugged. "And we have a game to beat," Alkor smirked, "some things don't change, huh?"

[Lessa 1]

"Hey, no worries, alright?" She responded, though the smile she gave him was a sad one. Her shoulders rose and fell with a soft shrug, and then she crossed her arms tightly across her chest. "Yeah, I like him. But its not a big deal." Her feelings were hurt, though she had no reason for them to be. Alkor had never once hinted at a relationship, and he could not be accused of stringing her along by any stretch of the imagination. No, this pain she felt was entirely her fault. She had found hints of romance where there were none. For that, she could not blame him.

"So don't apologize," she finished. She bit the inside of her cheek as she turned away from him. There was not another player in sight, and no mobs had spawned around them. It was eerily quiet, and it made the girl worry that her pounding heart was deafening to the other player.

"And you're right, I don't know you." Whether she meant Alkor or the man behind the name, she did not specify. The truth was, it applied to both. Her words brought about the uncomfortable realization that she truly did know nothing about him. What was his favorite color? His favorite movie? Did he have siblings? The questions far outweighed the amount of information she actually had. Then why the hell did I fall so hard?

"We do have a game to beat. Though its hard to believe, I forget that from time to time." She still refused to look at him when she added, "I'm sure you never forget it."

[Guest]

"No," he grated, "I don't." It wasn't lost on him that Lessa had taken a shot at him, cheap though it may have been. "And it would be great if more people stopped losing sight of that goal."

He didn't want to fall into the trap of arguing with Lessa again. It always seemed to happen, somehow, and whether it was Alkor or otherwise, he had no time for games.

"Fine," he replied, "I won't apologize. I couldn't have possibly known." He stood upright and glanced out toward Urbus. "I think I should get back to it."

Thom had no experience with dealing with romance or emotions, so when he was faced with a girl who liked a shadow of himself, what could he possibly say? "It might be easier if I avoid the guild scene from now on."

He took a step. "I'm not trying to be a distraction."

[Lessa 1]

Lessa winced as his words turned cold once more. "You misunderstood," she insisted, turning back to him. She found his gaze once more, and held it as she assured him she was not mocking him. "In fact, I admire your drive. I always have. Sometimes, I wish I could have the same passion, but I just don't."

 

And she meant those words. Occasionally, she wanted to feel what he felt, and live how he lived. How simple a life like his must be, with only one goal in mind. Feeling nothing but the desire to win the game, and letting everything else fall away. To think of nothing else from the time he wakes to the time he falls asleep once more. In a way, it was like being in love. But the object of his affections was freedom from a world that involved her, which was an incredibly sobering thought.

 

"I am the one doing the distracting," she countered, though not unkindly. "You've already expressed how toxic I am to you." She offered him a smile to demonstrate that she made the comment in jest, but the silence still hung between them as she hesitantly awaited his reaction to her words.

[Lessa 1]

Thread Complete

Lessa receives 400 col and 1 SP.

Alkor gets nothing.