PP F2: Behind Blue Eyes [COMPLETE]

[Mari 1]

Mari covered her ears with her hands, why....why was he being so nonchalant about this? Why was he using that tone of voice? Mari seemed to calm down for a moment when Life reassured her that she was human, and everyone had made mistakes but then...the last of his sentence...how it was said, the small sneer that crossed his face when he said it.

We are all the same

Mari shook her head, "W...we're not...y-you're not...like that. I'm not...I'm not a killer..." Mari carefully pulled her hands away from her ears as she reached out to Life, gulping as she tried to find her resolve and her words. "You're not....like.....him..." Mari whispered, refering to Uriel, no..no they weren't all the same, saying such a thing would suggest that both her and Life were the same as Uriel...that even Alkor...No...

No...

"No..."

[Life 0]

L played perfectly into the voices ploy and he was about to continue to do so. He was clearly not thinking straight with his words, what if he was to cause her permanent mental damage? What the actual [censored] was wrong with him, he tried to stop but the words kept flowing out "Think about it Amari, we're all driven by two things. The pain of failure and the pleasure of success, when the pain of failure is so great we no longer care if we succeed as long as we don't feel pain. You didn't want to feel anymore pain, and that was natural but as a result you have been scarred beyond anything you could have dreamt of. Tell me Amari why can you not just accept what happened and move on? Why can't you just embrace the blood on your hands" He had to stop... this was getting utterly ridiculous.. poor Mari.. he sunk away watching himself as he tore her open like a bad of chips he only just started to noticing the ringing pain in his head. The voice was inside his head for too long, he had to lock her away again or he may not be able to think straight again from here on out. He gripped it's side with one hand while the other was open, ready to continue 'preaching' his words. 

[Mari 1]

Mari was in a very vulnerable state; Life wasn't exactly acting like his usual self. He seemed oddly calm and calculated, where was the emotionally driven madman from moments before? The man who shook her and questioned her identity? Mari wanted him back, she wanted the Life she knew back, Mari had given up her protests and fighting. Life gripped her hands in his, pulling her closer - asking her to think about it. Mari's head was throbbing. Why..why was he insisting on calling her by that vile name?

The pain of failure....is that what she was feeling now? And Uriel, was he laughing right up till the point of death because he was ecstatic with his success? His greatest achievement being seeing her struggle? Mari furrowed her brow, her chest ached, and her mind was awash with confused thoughts. "How...how can I accept that...?" She whispered, clearly she was fighting a loosing battle. 

Her eyes darkened as her voice fell into a dark, toneless whisper. "Embrace....the blood on my hands...?"
 

There was a short silence, as Mari breathed a final attempt of a rebuttal, a final hidden plea for help;

"I...I can't..."

[Life 0]

He could feel the voices sadism seep into him, he was going mad, why was this happening to him? He saw her stumble and used it as an opportunity to dash to her side, fluently and elegantly catching her with a single finger by her chin. He lifted her head up and he leaned in close, just an inch away from her ear. "You're a killer just like me. Might as well accept your madness how before you tear yourself apart Amari" His voice wasn't his own, his sly grin wasn't his own, his lustful eyes... they weren't him. Get out of my head! I don't want you here! Don't you trust me? Don't stress honey, just because you wont give in doesn't mean she won't~ That's the point! I don't want you to do this to her! GET THE [censored] OUT! His mind was filled with rage for this bitch, he didn't even know anything about her, one day he went into a cave and fell into a dark sleep after slaughtering a horde of monsters with glee the next he was being tormented by some sadistic [censored]. WIth those words the voice faded away with a laugh, she had done what she came back out to do and it was much too late to apologise. "Im so sorry Mari..." his voice was a whisper, he felt a strange mix of feelings, almost like he was satisfied with what he had done but also torn up for the same reason.

[Mari 1]

Life placed his index finger under Mari's chin, tilting it upwards. She felt his fringe brush against her cheeks, and his heated breath tickle her neck. She thought she felt an arm snake around her waist to pull her in closer as he whispered dark, twisted words into a broken mind. He affirmed that Mari was a killer, she was a killer - a murderer, but still human. Because...to kill...was to be human.

Mari furrowed her brows, no....no..that wasn't right, to be human didn't mean to....to kill...

The broken girl weakly shook her head; but Life persisted - it was as though his entire aura, his entire presence was pressing into her own - his dark twisted will choking Mari's wavering energy. Did he say....just like him...Mari pushed him away, trying to catch his eyes - those deep Crimson orbs...they held a sort of driven lust, a strange myriad of clustered emotions she couldn't piece together. He offered her a sly, predatory grin as his entire presence seemed to press down on her. 

Then, Life blinked, and in the next instant it was gone. He apologized. Mari lowered her gaze. Trying to process what he had said...in a way, he was right - she couldn't...she couldn't run from what she had done, she couldn't hide from it. If she were to wallow in despair then wouldn't Uriel win? Mari bit her lip, wrapping her arms around herself. She didn't want to be part of this sin, she didn't want to get lost in the world of madness...she didn't...and yet...

"Don't apologize. I'm the one...who has fallen from grace." Mari stared at Life, blue eyes awash in a mix of misery and acceptance. "There's no escape from my fate..."

[Life 0]

The voice in L's head was only partially successful. She had got Mari to break but not twist into the insane maniac she originally intended, just like she tried to do with L. Who knows, maybe she'd be successful with L one day too. He hugged her tightly not wanting to let go, he had completely destroyed her on the inside. His dark chocolate hair brushed against her head as he embraced her "Im so sorry... Mari...." The voice in his head wasn't all to happy with what he was doing, he could feel his head rattling and shaking until the pain became so unbearable he began to squeeze the life out of Mari until his grip gently relaxed and sadistic smile spread across his face."That's exactly right. A fallen angel clipped of her wings, brought down by the world, it's not yourself to blame, it's society. Accept the darkness as your mother, let her embrace you my child.. keheheh... Just think about it, such people in this world... such as that Uriel fellow... Nothing more than a disease don't you think? This world would be a better place, without such scum! Your daughter would still be alive today. Think, if i had killed him when i had the chance his cancer would sop spreading. Evelyn... wouldn't have had to be severed from the earth, much like a good organ is taken away by the cancer as it is cut from the body" Couldn't have said it any better myself darling~ No... please.... no more..... His mind was blank, it was like he was not even there anymore, there was only his sadistic desire twisted from deep within him by this demon... this devil woman.... this wretch that hooked him up and reeled him in, he was nothing. 

[Mari 1]

Life carefully wrapped his arms around Mari - she gave him a smile, feeling the warmth from his embrace, it eased her troubled mind. It made her feel like the Life she knew was somewhere in that confused head of his, that her horrendous deeds  wouldn't push away one of her only friends within Aincad. Mari rose a hand to stroke his head as he apologized, she wasn't exactly sure what he was apologizing for - but still, it was the least she could do to comfort him. "It's ok Life. Besides I so-Ahh..." Mari winced as Life strengthened his grip. "T-That hurts." She wheezed, grimacing. Just what was his deal?

Then that voice...that cruel sadistic tone started again, and it unnerved Mari, it shook her, right through to her little broken core. "L..Life..." She questioned, but he continued with his dark words, suggesting that the world would be better without certain people, that it would be better if he had just killed Uriel in the first place. Mari felt her heart sink. Why? Why was he so insistent on convincing her that death was a positive thing? "T..The world may be a better place...but who are we...to judge them?" Mari asked, placing her hands on Life's shoulders and staring into his gleaming, vicious eyes.

"If anyone is to...blame....its me....I stopped you, because I didn't want to see you kill...I didn't...." Mari lowered her head, did her selfishness cause her daughters death?
 

[Life 0]

He chuckled deeply, his voice was dark and fully of lust, lust to see the very woman in front of him collapse, to scream, to break apart and kill again. No.. that wasn't him, he had to reassure himself of that. This. Was. Not. Him. So why couldn't he stop himself? If someone where to see him right now, what would they make of it. They wouldn't be able to tell what was going on inside his head, they would see him as insane, the more they would see and discover the less they would like. But did he like it? Did he truly love doing this? Mari.. please pull through... With those final whispers in his mind he was gone, lost in himself, engulfed once again in darkness as the voice continued to whisper sweet nothings in his mind dragging him further into the darkness "Are you saying you, yourself should be free from judgment? We are all judged, though the graves do not discriminate, the world does. Let me share something with you Amari.. A fruit has told me of the future, our world has forgotten reason, these distorted black times will change ideals into dreams. We exchanged promises of revolution in the expanding darkness and i loved it. And so the flower of evil sprouted. The 'end' everyone wished for.. the 'Paradise' everyone dreamt of.. nothing. but. lies. Take my hand Amari and I'll show you a pure world that shines with light. A world free from the sickness" He gently reached out with an open palm waiting for her to take it, his face was a lot more serious now adding some further weight to his words. The voice in his head was enjoying this more than anyone could enjoy anything it squealed with glee at his words and praised him, how pathetic. 

[Mari 1]

Life laughed, a low soft chuckle. Mari didn't understand it, she was struggling to understand herself, and all the emotions she was going through. She momentarily wondered how Alkor was going...was he in a worse siltation because he willingly killed? Mari's head shot back up when Life questioned her, asked if she should be free of judgement. "What? NO! of course not!" She exclaimed, shocked that he would say such a thing. The graves....the dead do not discriminate, but the world does. Life's words made a lot of sense, despite the dark undertone he used to talk. Mari flinched when he insisted on using her real name. "Life..please..." Her voice was small, as she fruitlessly pleaded with him to not use her name. "Not that name." 

What was he going on about a fruit? The last time Mari saw Light with a fruit he was blind and flailing about, and honestly, acting quite the fruit himself. "Revolution..." Mari repeated, trying to make sense of the words. There was no end, there was no paradise, Mari could relate to those words. Would there be an end to all this? What would happen if she managed to leave Aincad - SAO - and return home? She'd return a cold blooded murderer, she may even be placed in jail. She wasn't sure. 

Mari looked up at Life, her eyes pleading, wanting some sort of answer, some sort of solice. He was still here, despite knowing what she had done. He stood by her, so why shouldn't she stand by him? Mari reached out, a hesitant hand placed in his.

[Life 0]

He smiled warmly as she took his hand, he pulled her in and comforted her "You made the right decision, Mari.." He made sure to stress on her name, this would bring her some relief a ploy to made her believe she made the right decision. L was completely gone at that point there was only what remained of him. If he had known what he was getting himself through the first time he laid hands on her he would have deserted her on the spot, it would have benefitted the both of them. He pulled her back and massaged her hand gently dragging her mind deeper into his abyss. "This world is rotten and those who are making it rot deserve to die. Someone has to do it, do not feel alone Mari. Even if it means sacrificing our minds and souls, it's worth it. Because the world... can't go on like this. I wonder if someone in the same position as you would have killed. Alkor made the right decision eliminating the vermin from the world. If someone doesn't do it then who will? That's just it, there is no one, but it's ok Mari. Inside Aincrad.. we are the only ones that can. This is our reality now and after all, this is only a game set up with the intention of really killing people. So why not enjoy the game, it's what it was designed for. No one can blame you, it was the developers fault, not ours, he would be responsible, not us" This added the final touch, this would ensure when the future came, she would kill again. She was lost in him and as long as she was tied to him she would find salvation in his words. Further down the lines though.. he knew, if anything happened to him, she would snap. She had no one left but him and Alkor, no one.

[Mari 1]

Mari gave a relieved sigh when Life used her real name, stressing the syllables on it. The pink haired woman thought it was for her sake. Mari glanced down at her hand, as Life massaged it reassuringly. Mari knew there was no romantic feelings between the two of them so the action felt less awkward and strained. If anything, it was comforting. "Life...you're a good friend." Mari murmured, "Not many would stand by someone; after hearing they'd...." Mari took a deep breath, steadying her words, it hurt her to say it. "They'd taken a life..."
 

Mari flinched when Life said that people deserved to die, despite it all....despite everything...how could he say that? How? "LIFE!" Mari cried out, "How? How can you say someone deserved to-" She stopped herself - reliving the entire scene before her. Her daughter, a child, a poor, sweet, innocent child...She watched as Uriel beat her up, mercilessly, he laughed...he laughed as he injured a being so pure. Tears started falling down Mari's face again. She didn't want to believe it, she didn't want to believe that anyone deserved to die. Yet, she was finding herself unable to believe her own words. Uriel....

Uriel.... That man, that horrid cancer of a man deserved what he got, it took Life's constant reassurance and words to set that thought in Mari's mind. Uriel was just one person. "Life...." Mari murmured, her free hand reaching out to clutch his shoulder, bunching the material up in her fist. Life mentioned Alkor's name, and Mari felt her gut churn. Alkor, he was someone Mari never expected to grow close towards - rather, she wasn't sure what he was to her. They had only met a few times. So why? Why was it when Life mentioned his name, or when Mari's thoughts wondered to him she felt confused and flustered. Infatuation? Maybe..

"I don't...think Alkor wanted to do that...and I....I can't...why make a game just for people to kill one another? That's not....that's not....fair...or right..."
 

[Life 0]

He nodded in agreement with her "Indeed, that is correct it doesn't and I'll tell you why. One simple reason, because it's not. It's not a game just to kill one another, its a game to open the eyes of the players and make them realise, make them understand what the real world was like.. no shortage of scum in this world, want an example? Take any businessman, any CEO and you'll find the cancer in them" Law, Business, Economics, they where all subjects he was all too familiar with, he knew how they worked. "Just like Uriel.. and anyone who involves themselves with those types of people are just poisoned. The type of people I'm talking about are not just Economists, business men and lawyers, they're everyone and everywhere. You see them on the streets when they smile and try to pull you in to consume. You see them when you're at home on the T.V telling you how to live your life and that you should be perfect. You see them everywhere, you just have to open your eyes, even the people you know" He was getting a bit broader with what he was saying here, he didn't want to scare her away just yet, but his purpose was more or less fulfilled, on the deep inside  though, with the real him.. he was dying. 

[Mari 1]

Mari lowered her head, pulling her hand away from him so she could bring her knees up to her chest, and wrap her arms around her legs. She rested her head on her knees, hugging them close. She felt cold, and hurt. What was worse...was that Life's words...they were making an odd amount of sense.

"I don't like...I don't like that way of thinking Life...It's so ...dark...." 

Mari sighed, hating herself for saying her next words. "But I'd be lying....if..." She paused, her voice sounded so defeated, downtrodden. "I said ...I didn't somewhat agree with your words..." Mari burried her face into her knees. Speaking muffled words. "You must hate....hate me for thinking such horrid things about people....I don't...." Her body heaved, "I don't even know who to trust anymore...if what you say is true." 

[Life 0]

She was starting to give in, no, she has. It seems as though she has accepted his words, believing him no matter what he says, he even took it as far as to say it was a good thing killing people as long as they where scum. It didn't matter who, killing was wrong, he knew so himself but he didn't care but such is the life of a sadist isn't it? The real him didn't plan on this and if he where a separate person he would have struck him down... ah.... but wouldn't that make him the same as he is now? Perhaps.. this really was the real him. "Trust in me, i won't lead you astray Mari, and i don't hate you in the slightest, you know that right? So where do we go from here you may say? It's simple, where does anyone go when they're at rock bottom? The answer can only be up" He smiled cunningly and crouched down stroking her hair gently as she curled into a ball. He knew she didn't have any interest in him but that's not what mattered at this point, all that mattered was turning Mari into a child of Sillith. Sillith? Where did that name come from, he was sure he had heard it before.. if not then why did he use it? Fuufuu~ That made sense.. her child, her psychopathic child, that's what Sillith wanted isn't it. Much like him now, a sick deranged sadist, another one of her child, chilling to the bone. What had happened to him...

[Mari 1]

Life told her to trust him, and she did. "I know you won't..." She murmured, closing her eyes as she allowed him to comfort her. "Go up huh..." Mari whispered, how could she possibly go up from where she sat? How? She had killed someone. She had hurt someone, no, not just anyone, her own daughter. Her flesh and blood. Life's words...despite being somewhat dark and psychotic - had comforted her. She knew she could at least confide in him. Mari looked up from her knees and offered him a small smile. "Life...you've done so much already, you introduced me to Alkor. Even though I don't think the feeling is mutual - or even what sort of feeling that is..." She trailed off, romance is the last thing that was on her mind right now - but still, she found some sort of solice in the reserved man, and she was grateful for that. "You're helping me now. How do I...repay that?"

[Life 0]

For now he had gained her trust, twisting her to enjoy killing would have to wait for another time. Sillith seemed to be satisfied with the outcome for now and so his Job was done. Or at least he hoped.. how would she repay him? That was a good question.. Sillith didn't really see a use for her at this stage. She was still taking his words into consideration and the weight of them was still yet to sink in. He smiled and shook his head "Nothing Mari, this is what friends are for, all i ask is that you're there for me too when i need you" A favour for a favour he thought to himself. That would do Sillith well in the future. He gently grabbed her hands and stood up slowly pulling her with him "This is the first step to moving up and onwards, the rest Mari, is fate" His voice was soothing and his eyes where like warming candles, everything he did was inviting but for now it was time to go. It was a good idea not to keep this conversation lingering for too long or she would begin to question herself and his words too much. "I think you need to rest, think about what I told you Mari, this world can be a so much better" With that he smiled and let go off her hands slowly, letting them slip sensually but discretely. 

[Mari 1]

Mari gave a small nod, thankful for Life and his words. She was an absolute mess earlier, and whilst she still wasn't better, and probably wouldn't be better for a long time - she was on the road, she hadn't succumbed to pure depression and thrown herself off of the edge of the world. "You know....." Mari began; "I was contemplating throwing myself off the world." She wasn't going to let anyone know her suicidal thoughts, but she trusted Life, she trusted him with her...well..Life. Mari sighed, clearing her throat and strengthening her voice. "But...if I did that he'd win. You know?" 

Mari nodded. "I do need rest. Sadly an inn isn't an option for me anymore." She gave a sigh, "I used to love sleeping out here, the warm nights; the soft grass - now it has a different..feel to it." She stood up with Life, giving his hands one last squeeze before letting go.

[Life 0]

Throwing herself off the world eh? That might have been a pretty good idea, it was always fun watching someone destroy themselves. Oddly enough Mari had pulled through finding comfort in his sick words, it almost made him laugh. Fuufuu~ You did a good job, but she's useless to me now. Maybe later she'll break again, you where too nice with her but she's proved her sickened mind to be of future use. Well I'm bored of this fuufuu, i'll let you off for now. With that the voice was gone and he felt all his energy leave his body. "Suicide is never the answer" He mumbled to himself, he couldn't believe what just happened but at the same time could barely remember anything. He shook his head and staggered slightly he was feeling a little light headed. "Where will you go now?" He was deeply concerned for her, there wasn't much options for a Pker though that wasn't where most of his concern layed. 

[Mari 1]

Mari gave a soft sigh. Shifting so she was sitting up on the rock. "I know...I know it's not but....I just...I keep seeing her whenever I close my eyes. When it's silent I hear her screams." Mari fell silent, turning her face down to look at the floor. "I felt like I didn't deserve to live."  Mari bit her lip furrowing her brows she didn't want to cry now - not after all Life had just tried to do for her. Mari looked up at Life as he staggered, she pushed herself up off the rock and quickly grabbed hold of his shoulders to help steady him. "I'll probably sleep here. I think there are some towns PKers can go to, but I..." Mari didn't want to be around other people right now. "That doesn't matter, what about you?"

[Life 0]

That's right, he remembered now, she killed her daughter. She was in no condition to continue in her state but somehow she seem calmer, like she was fixed.. did Silith do that? "I don't know, Im feeling a little sick.. i don't know why. I might just go for another walk and head back to town" He didn't know what to make of the situation and needed some time to think everything over, there was a lot of information that his brain was still struggling to process. "Just think back to the fortune cookie" He brushed his hair out of his eyes letting the cool wind breeze across his face. His head started to feel normal again and let out a goofy smile. "Take care Mari, we'll see each other again soon, i know it" He shuffled his feet in place and looked up to the moon, it was stained a permanent red in his eyes, as always, and as to be expected with Sillith inside him. His violent visions weren't flashes anymore, his nightmares weren't a rare thing when you ate too much candy, he was living in one constantly.