PP-F2 'Healing Process'

[Mari 1]

Mari had found herself back on Floor 2: The floor where it all started. Once again, her appearance was a mess; hair dishevelled - clothes ripped and torn. Dirt smudged on her face. She hadn't had time to clean herself off since her solo expedition into the mountains earlier.  Life had mentioned that she should just talk to Alkor.

But how? How could Mari trust Life after all he had said and done?

Mari kicked a pebble as she entered the small cave, deep in the forest that she had claimed as her home.  It was twilight; and soon it would be nightfall. "Can't trust anyone anymore." She muttered to herself, as she went deeper into the cave. She'd be left alone here; the one person who knew of it was Alkor, and he was one of the people who had abandoned her, at least that was what Mari was lead to believe. She didn't bother lighting a fire, despite the chill inside the cave. She just sat against a wall, sighing. 

[Guest]

It began at the end.

The unraveling of a human mind is a simple process to start, but by the time you find the end of the string, your body is twisted, bound, and strangled. How vast the power that drives us forward, and yet, how fragile.

In the year 2022, Kayaba Akihiko proudly announced the release of his new age technology; the gateway to the mind had been breached at last, and a new frontier waited for mankind within its own imagination. The only limitation on this power, of course, were the frailties of one's own psyche.

If Alkor had known from the beginning how much more than a game that this would be, he would never have touched Sword Art Online. He would never be here, on the second floor of Aincrad, scouring a cave for any clue as to the whereabouts of a woman he had never met beyond this world. He would never have met Amari, a woman with which he shared more heartfelt secrets than anyone he had ever met in reality.

Now, he grimaced as he pressed forward in the darkness of the cave. One more time, he kept telling himself, once more through the cave, and perhaps I'll find her. The last message he'd received from the pink haired lass had been gut wrenching- a promise of self inflicted pain, mere inches from fruition. He'd rushed here quickly to find her, but seen nothing. Days had gone by. He had ventured close to town for food and returned to rest, but Mari had never returned.

Now, at the edge of his own terror, Alkor came toward the light one last time. The front of the cave greeted him with the same harshness it always did; light burned his eyes and he hissed, but inevitably adjusted.

Night was upon him, and when he saw the emaciated form of his dear friend drag past him, he gaped. No words came, if only because she had been rent so ragged. Slumped against a wall, she looked as though the world itself had taken its way with her, and now, she waited for death to creep in. "Mari," he gasped breathlessly as he slid to her side. "God, where the hell have you been!?"

[Mari 1]

Mari felt it; the rush of wind, the sound of a folding cloak, and the strained pain in a deep, warm voice. As it asked her, where she had been. Mari wasn't sure how to react. It took her a few moments to realize that it was Alkor. Alkor, the man who said she wasn't worth his time. The man with those brilliant amber pools that Mari had grown to care about so much. Even in the darkness of the cave she could see the worry and concern reflected in them. More pained moments passed; as her clouded eyes stared at Alkor with disbelief, before she silently bought up the message that 'he' had sent her. showing it to him.

 

 

To: Mari

From: Alkor
Subject: (None)

I used to think that birds could fly,

and all fish, gifted to swim

but battered wings can't get you high

and missing scales are a chance too grim.

I know what you've become and i can no longer be 
bothered to waste my time, trying to save a lost soul.

 

 

She watched as his eyes darted back and forth, reading the message before she looked away. "Why are you here?" Her chest ached, her heart torn; Mari wanted nothing more than to burst into tears- collapsing into the warmth of his person, but how? How could she do that when the last she had heard from him was him stating he wanted nothing to do with her? That he hated what she had become. "Why?" Mari repeated, her voice trembling with an array of heartbroken emotions. Pain, guilt, relief. They were all swimming around in her voice, in her mind - causing her body to shake.  How could she even look him in the eyes any more. She had become something so terrible, so debased....

[Guest]

When she showed him the poisonous prose that appeared to have been penned at his hand, Alkor stared at it blankly. He opened his own inbox slowly and scrolled through, searching for any sign that he'd sent the words to her. When he found none, Alkor frowned. "Some glitches get past even the greatest programmers in history." He took her wrist firmly in hand, then coaxed her fingers toward the delete option. "I can promise you," he told her firmly, "I have much better taste in poetry."

Alkor slid to the spot next to her after she weakly abolished the blighted file, and he let her arm drop limp into her lap. He could see the weakness that had taken her, and the pain burning behind her eyes. Whatever had befallen Mari, it had been deeper and more lasting than anything before.

He wrapped an arm around her and pulled the girl into his embrace. "Shhhh," he hushed her, "I'm here for you." Both his arms took her tightly to his chest; Alkor had no words for healing a broken mind, nor the words to dissuade her from any dark thoughts. What he did bring was the promise that he'd never forsaken her, and that he would sit with her though the pain. "Just relax, Amari," he cooed, "I'm here, now."

The possibility of danger was there, and his mind even screamed at him that she might turn violent- but how was he to help her without taking a chance? In spite of the probability that a dagger would end up between two of his ribs, he held her close- closer than anything else in all the world.

"I'm here."

[Mari 1]

Mari flinched when he grabbed her hand, it was a soft but firm hold as he coaxed her to delete the message, mentioning something about a glitch. The warmth from his hand radiated, and seeped into her cold body.  He promised her he had better taste in poetry. Mari felt confused. Had he not sent that message? If he didn't. Who did? It couldn't be as simple as a system glitch to send an entire message; with appropriate responses, to Mari. Mari stayed silent, letting her hand drop into her lap. Life, mentioned something about the word Love -and how that was what Alkor felt for her. But..how? How could she possibly trust Life?

Mari felt Alkor wrap an arm around her; and she stiffened. She didn't deserve this. Alkor was so gentle; so loving and so warm. How? How could he be such a way with her? Mari equipped her dagger, hands shaking.. She had to get away...she had to get away from him before she hurt him. She wanted to scream at him, 'Don't comfort me!'  'Don't give me that warmth!' She didn't...she didn't want to steal anything from him. Her dagger clattered uselessly to the floor as Alkor wrapped a second arm around her, pressing her face into his chest.

 

Mari could hear the quickened, unsteady beat of his heart, she allowed herself a moments silence. Taking a few deep, shaken breaths. "Alkor..." Her voice was tired, drained- and broken from the days of mental anguish Life had put her through. "You c-can't...I've...I'm not...right..." Mari whispered, before telling Alkor what happened; how she had killed the two high schoolers, out of a group of three who would not leave her alone, and how one fell to his death. She told him how she was protecting Jacob - and had to kill another. Mari had broken down into sobs now; as she told Alkor everything Life had done to her.

How he had told her he loved her and that he never wanted her and Alkor together; how he had called her a monster, and how images of Evelyn were haunting her. Mari told Alkor that Life had kissed her and left her to die; laughing as she tried to kill herself - how she had messaged him and gotten a reply stating that she was nothing to him.

It was a heart wrenching series of events, ones that had scarred Mari deep; beyond any sort of quick or easy fix. Mari felt like she was a monster; she knew she'd end up killing again, that her morals were shot, and she was afraid that after all this Alkor would pry her off of him and leave, Mari burried her face into his chest, shivering form crying as she latched fast onto him, not wanting to let go.

Even if this was all a trick; even if it was as sick joke and Alkor was working with Life to further send her into the dark depths of insanity....she wanted his warmth. She wanted to keep it to herself. For as long as possible. 

[Guest]

In silence he held her; there were few words that could speak to a lost soul so well as comforting action. Fewer words still held any trace of the healing power of just being there for someone. In a world where nothing, yet everything was real, all the power Alkor had was in what his character did.

Lifting a sword was the least powerful of tools, despite the work he'd put in to make his skills the best they could be. Every word she said sent another tear down her cheeks. Every tear felt hot against his skin.

She said she wasn't right, yet Alkor knew better. That she was hurting meant she knew what she did had been wrong. So many things had pushed her so many ways, Mari had simply gotten swept away by the tide. Only she could fight against the undertow. He could advise her all he wanted about how it was a sink or swim scenario, but ultimately, it all came down to her decision.

"Here," he told her quietly, "just relax." Alkor helped her into his lap and wrapped both arms around her waist. The swordsman closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Your mind is moving too fast to think. You need to slow down."

[Mari 1]

Mari felt tired, worn out she shut her eyes, allowing the tears to silently fall as she attempted to steady her breathing. Alkor had told her to relax, and his grip fell to her waist as he pulled her in close. Mari nuzzled her face into his chest. She took deep, low breaths- which quivered as she tried to calm herself down. It was difficult - Mari was always so cold, so emotionless toward others. She held fast to that strength but right here, right now - she had completely broken down. Mari hated herself for that.

Mari lifted her head to look up at Alkor, who had been shedding silent tears of his own. Mari gave him a questioning look. Why had he been crying? She lifted up her hands to cup his cheeks. Thumbs wiping away his tears. Alkor said that her mind was moving too fast, that she needed to slow down. Mari stared at him for a few silent moments. Slow down? How could she possibly slow down? Mari was afraid that if she slowed down all her sins would catch up to her, and she'd become lost, fallen so far down the rabbit hole that she would loose any shred of humanity she had left. 

Mari furrowed her brows, "I can't Thom..." She muttered, "-And I won't." With those words she pulled Alkor's face to hers, and captured his lips in a salty kiss; stained by their shared tears.

[Guest]

"Mmm..." he mumbled incoherently into the kiss as their lips met, eyes scrunched shut. His mind screamed at him that this was wrong. Everything she did was born from passion, and it was an attempt to drown out the bad. Anything to keep from facing it. Eventually, she would have to, and Alkor knew that.

But he wanted so badly to let the kiss happen. It did, for several long, deep moments. It tasted so intoxicating, he almost didn't want to pull away.

When he did, he held her arms gently in both hands. "-Amari." He said her name with a gentle sternness that foretold how serious he was. "At first, I was content to just let you figure it out on your own," he said, "but now, I'm worried. I don't want to lose you. I can't let you just keep swirling in a maelstrom of chaos."

He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "I care way too much to sit by and watch your life fall apart. Your mind is precious."

Gently, he wrapped both arms around her neck and held her to his chest. "Not that I don't love kissing you, it's just important that you remember what's really important."

[Mari 1]

Mari pressed herself further against him as the two shared a long kiss, even amidst all the turmoil - the clouded misfortune that had befallen her, and those around her - she wanted some sort of proof, validation that a small part of her was still somewhat human. In a sense...she used Alkor for that purpose. She had forced herself onto him, and he was all too willing to accept. Mari continued the long kiss, till Alkor broke away - Mari made a disgruntled noise as he did, but didn't fight it. Despite everything, the action had warmed her cheeks, and had halted her flow of tears. 
Alkor held both her hands in his, talking to her in a gentle, caring tone. "Thom..." Mari murmured, her voice was filled with tenderness, which made her next words all the more distressing. "I create that chaos. Death follows my steps." She gave him a weak smile. "I'm a murderer - give me a few months, and I may just do it for fun. I'm a monster- a behemoth of a covetous beast - wanton for the destruction that I leave in my wake."  As she spoke, Mari pulled one of her hands free to stroke the side of his cheek with the back of her hand, it wasn't till he pulled her forward and kissed her head that she stopped talking.

Mari shut her eyes, leaning into him. "I'm ok with all of that; I can't run from who I am any more. She murmured. "I know what's important, you are. You are important to me."

Mari hesitated for just a moment before admitting the feelings that were bubbling inside her for a long time. "I love you, and I won't loose you too."

[Guest]

He placed a finger to her lips when she began to utter nonsensical drivel about being a monster. "Shhh," he said, "too many words." His voice became low and gentle, and as he held her close, he whispered in her ear. "Too much thinking."

She said she loved him. He let out a sigh and wondered if this was all some deranged product of what had been done to her, but the truth was...

"I love you, too," he told her in a low mumble. "I love you, too."

His hands rubbed her back and the back of her head in a slow pattern. "Just be here, with me," he crooned. "Just us."

[Mari 1]

Mari gave an annoyed grumble when Alkor placed his finger to her lips, she shook her head, moving his finger away from her lips, only to rest her head back into the crook of his neck again. There was a moments silence, and in that silence Mari realized the gravity of the words she had said. The pink haired woman quickly pulled away from him, opening her mouth to maybe recover the words she had said.

Alkor.

Of all people she had to fall for, it had to be Alkor - such strong words...surely he'd take them the wrong way and pull away from her. Retreat into the shell of 'Alkor' and that the man she knew as Thom would cease to exist within Aincrad once more.

But then, the impossible happened. Alkor mumbled his affections back at her. First, barely audible - and Mari swore she misheard him - but he repeated himself. This time with more confidence, he rubbed the back of her head, and asked her to just be there. Just with him. Mari wasn't sure if she was blushing, heck - she couldn't even tell if she were smiling. She simply stared at Alkor with adoration. Letting the warmth of his actions wash over her. Rapturing her in their comfort.

Mari wasn't sure what to say at this point. "What now?"   Mari finally asked, biting her tongue; forcing herself not to ask the other questions that swam around in her mind. Could he really be with her? A monster? A killer? Cold blooded murderer?