[SP:F11] Forgive me Father, I have Sinned

[Opal 0]

Floor eleven was the new floor that had opened up a quite a while ago and never fully expecting to see or know what lied beyond the tenth was a shocking sight to behold. Opal had found herself in the midst of what appeared to be of a European City, dressed in paved flooring and houses of differing sizes. The main interest that had caught her eye was the Bell Tower and the cathedral that was within the city limits. Opal walked around in the brisk moonlight wearing the Armor of the Blood Oath signifying her acquisition into the guild under Command Heathcliff and Vice Commander Azide as her superiors. For quite some time she adored the idea of churches and their meaning, but she was not fond of religion in the slightest being a woman of science herself. But she could not help but feel drawn to the mysticism behind the idea. 

Within the darkened city of Taft, Opal had found her way towards that very cathedral expecting it to be filled with players of all kinds relating to the world outside in hopes that prayers will be seen and heard from their strange God. A dry mouth opened as her hand fastened to the door handle, with a slight pull the doors had squeaked open, her eyes wincing slightly from the sound as it had brought terrible pain and agony from a past experience. As the door finally came to a stop, the woman stepped inside and her jaw just dropped. 

[Opal 0]

"Hello there, child!" 

Opal stopped dead in her tracks as she was looking over the cathedral from the inside. It was dimly lit with white candles scattered about in different areas. To the far end was an ornate cross symbolizing this to be some sort of christian religion. The priest was adorned in white robes, as he moved quickly to greet her. It was not a NPC but a real life player coming to greet the woman. She looked around, apparently there were only a few others within the confines of the church, some children and a few women and men gathered towards the front, their heads bowed softly chanting prayers. 

Opal was nervous, she had never set foot inside a church before, even when she was in the real world, it was one of the things she avoided like the plague. Guessing by the make up, the casual sex and the amount of alcohol she consumed amongst other sin driven things, she felt rather bad for being here. The man, though younge, seemed to be pleased to see her.

"Is there something that Our Lord can help you with this day?" 

"I ugh..." the woman was caught off guard noticing there was an off section of the church to the west, confessional booths?  Her eyes were drawn to that by chance but not meaning to stimulate the conversation in that direction.

"Ahh, have you come to confess then? If you wish to use the confessional, you are more than welcome to do so. I can't say the name of the priest on the other side, but they shall help you if you need." the man's smile never left his lips, despite Opal's grim looking style of make up, she was greeted with warm and open arms within the cathedral and the priest for that matter. Perhaps...it was time to confess...?

[Opal 0]

Opal sighed and walked towards the confessional booth and stepped inside. She sat on a rich red velvety chair and closed the door in front of her. She was unsure of what to do next. The booth was more or less a wooden box and then she jumped when off to her left side a small little screen slid open. It was hard to see within, but she assumed that was the purpose of the anonymous confession deal. She wondered what was to happen next. Nervous and anxiety was slowly succumbing over her as she smoothed out the small locks of black hair from her eyes. 

"It seems you are new to this child..."

"Ugh! Y-yes...I'm sorry...I  have seen this done in movies and tv shows, but...I have never actually stepped inside a church before until this day." 

"Well, let us begin with you signing the cross and then you may ask for your sins to be alleviated of you as well as anything else you wish to talk about."

Opal nodded not looking directly through the screen. Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling out of her mouth, the woman signed the cross over her body and then clasped her hands together, "Forgive me Father...I have sinned. I have never come to confession before, I have never stepped within a church before up until this moment. To be honest, I have never given God much thought in my life, and it is even harder now to do so within the confines of this game and for what has happened within the game." 

"I see. Well, what would you like to confess this day?"

"Well, there is much I would like to get off my chest, I suppose. I ask for forgiveness for the sins I have committed against fellow members of Aincrad, and those sins I will commit in the future..." she said her head lowering.

The priest in the next booth nodded his head, sighing the air with a cross, "You say in the future, my child. Do you plan on committing crimes against God once again?"

The woman bit her lower lip, her hands balled up into fists as it clutched the materials of her pants, "I...I don't know how to release my anger. A month ago...there was a darkness in my life...I was training with my Master, then I was captured by some...vicious men, I was hauled up naked in a cold prison cellar and I was raped and ravaged over and over again for a week..." It had been the first time she had spoken of the incident to anyone, her hard shell now unfurled into a soft delicate flower as tears strolled down her face.

The Priest gulped, it was the first time in his experience that someone had come to him with so much pain, but he would be strong and act with the hand of God on shi shoulder. 

[Opal 0]

"I know it is not within my right to take on vengeance myself, but I should leave God to do that for me. But I can't sit by and allow those players to desecrate another woman, nor take advantage of any person. They are the epitome of evil in this world, I have not seen God do any work here as far as I have been on my journey, not once did he come to my aid when I asked for it. I guess I am bitter against something that I can't see ..." 

"Many believe God to be such a being that is merciless, but he is merciful. You are alive now, and you are here. Which means you had been given a challenge that was able to be overcome. God's strength works in different ways than the world can comprehend. It nurtures us without being seen, it gives us what we need and not desire. It could very well be true that he did not help you in your time of need, but it might have meant he gave you the strength to endure. And sometimes...that is all we can do in this world. Endure the pain, endure the suffering." 

Opal's eyes closed, silver like tear streaming down her cheek as she sniffled and brought her hands up to her face to wipe it away, "So you are saying...God's strength lies in not what we want it to be, but where it needs to be? He sounds like a double edged sword..." The Priest nodded, Opal seemed to be fighting with more than one demon. 

"But from what it appears in your voice, you have no hate towards these individuals. An act of violence is one thing to avenge oneself of a crime, but you almost speak as if you were calm about the ordeal. Or perhaps, you are just giving yourself a strong exterior to hide the softness of your heart?"  Once more Opal scoffed at the comment, how ridiculous that sounded. 

[Opal 0]

"There is nothing more than what I want to do than to slay those fools. But there is a beast in me that is fighting to get free. Every day it is becoming more and more difficult for me to contain. I strive all that I can to obtain to protect..." the woman slips and falls backwards, her hand raises to meet the silver line stained cheek as she sweeps away a broken tear, "But I feel I want to cause more destruction and desecrate everything I see before me...Why did God put the the Devil in me?" 

"There is a demon in us all, we fight with the morality of this all the time. We seek answers from God, and our Savior. Sometimes these answers are clear, sometimes they are not. But you are still alive for a reason, why can't you break your hate?"

"Why?" The woman questioned, those hurried and dark images flashed before the forefront of her memory as she drew a hand to her head, "Because...right now, hate is all I have in my heart. I have worked so hard to move on from the incident, but it grows stronger...I just want to break free of this mortal coil, free from from the delusions. There is no pain in this game, Father. Did you know that? You can leed and have battle damage, but you will never feel nothing more than a prick of pain. But when you are paralyzed and those hands starting tearing away at you ripping you apart piece by piece, then that is when the pain comes alive. No pain in the game...that's utter bullshit." 

"Ahem..."

"Sorry, Father..."

"We dance across many lines of morality in this game. But God's laws are still active here and should be enforced by all means necessary even if this is just a game. Without religion decorum, many people will lose faith and sometimes faith is the strongest ally you will ever have."